It makes so little sense it's funny

[Sidhe]

it's not a UN anyway the US has the power to ignore anything and everything it says. It's more like The UN minus the US and a few other rogue states. Sometimes it's hard to tell the US and the rogue states apart

And that business about the Kyoto protocol are your presidents really that stupid that they think that sort of attitude isn't going to cost them huge amounts more than they're saving now? America a country of great people run by idiots.

Scum always floats to the top I guess?

 

[zyphyr]

it's not a UN anyway the US has the power to ignore anything and everything it says. It's more like The UN minus the US and a few other rogue states. Sometimes it's hard to tell the US and the rogue states apart

And that business about the Kyoto protocol are your presidents really that stupid that they think that sort of attitude isn't going to cost them huge amounts more than they're saving now? America a country of great people run by idiots.

Scum always floats to the top I guess?

Why not keep the cheap shots out of this thread dedicated to humor.

 

[Sidhe]

truth hurts huh?

 

[Blyker]

Question though. When you build a wonder but someone else is faster you stop building.
What happends when i build something that obsoletes a wonder of someone else does his wonder stop giving a bonus?

In other words is 1+1 2 ?

 

[Depravo]

Yeah that's just silly, the Elephants represent areas where elephants hang man, where they do there thang baby...

... ROFL

 

[netbjarne]

City Major at the newly built airport - Now thats a bloddy fine airport! What is it good for?

Airport manager - Well, its for taking off and landing airplanes, mainly...

Major - Cool! I think I'll stick arround for a recon take-off, always wanted to be on one.

Manager - I'm sorry to dissapoint you. We haven't got any airplanes. We have no access to oil. No oil, no airplanes. Sorry.

Major - Hmm. Well, that IS quite dissapointing... How about a helicopter take-off then?

Manager - Sorry. No helicopters either.

Major (grunting) - What a waste of money... Maybe we should reconsider the airport management...

Manager - Ahem, we could airlift something for you? How about this tank!

Major - You could? How? Thought you didn't have oil?

Manager - We don't. But our special airlift helicopters don't run on oil.

Major - They don't? What do they run on then?

Manager - Ahem, I'm not quite sure. Some wierd abundant supply of illogical fluid substancs I think. You gotta ask the ground people about that.

Major - Hm. Doesn't matter. Couldn't you just use the airlift helicopters for recon missions them?

Manager - No no no no! - can't do that. The airlift helicoptes gotta transport large heavy objects from one city to another, thats what they do! Thats ALL they CAN do!

Major - Hmm. Sounds very limiting... But well, if they don't use any oil like the airplanes, bombers and regular helicopters, I guess the airport isn't totally useless.

Manager - Eh, actually, the airplanes, bombers and helicopters doesn't actually USE oil. We just need oil to BUILD them. Once build, the oil is no longer needed.

Major - What?! We don't need oil to RUN the aircrafts? - just to BUILD them?

Manager - Thats right sir. Once constructed, they run on the same strange substance mentioned ealier.

Major - Well, NOW you got me confuced. But what the heck, I think our ally in the east has an oil well we could borrow for a few turns. Just to build a small fleet. I think I will arrange that right away. Think you could give me an airlift?

Manager - Sure! I'd be glad to. Where would you like to go?

Major - To Petrol City.

Manager - Oh, I'm sorry, no can do. There has already been a airlift destined for Petrol City this year - they can't possible handle another transport already. But why not have a lift for Boringdale? - no one has been transported to Boringdale for years, I'm sure they can handle a transport by now?

Major (sighing) - Ah, never mind. I'll go visit the construction work of the new dam project instead. Its quite amusing. Some guy invented a new material called plastics and produced a lot of small colorful bricks. We are going to build the dam out of them. Wanna come?

Manager - Sounds fun! I'm game. What is this plastic material made of?

Major - Not sure. Oil I think.... Hey, wait a minute!!!

 

[kernok]

i agree... this thread is all about humour
i was misunderstanding the thread purpose because i was smelling something like... "complaining people"
oh look: the cow is bigger than the town hihihi
oh 'gad donc: l'gars en slip bosse tout nu dans la neige hohoho

hum...
spirit of benny hill: go away from this thread!

 

[Brighteye]

Why not keep the cheap shots out of this thread dedicated to humor.

I thought that this thread was all about cheap shots. They're amusing nonetheless. And scum floating to the top isn't that insulting. It's a good point, and that's why the ancient Greeks used 'scum' as a compliment. Perhaps Sidhe was making a sly compliment but you misinterpreted it?

 

[Qpdaj]

...We have no access to oil. No oil, no airplanes. Sorry...

...What is this plastic material made of?

Major - Not sure. Oil I think.... Hey, wait a minute!!!

Ah, now that was very good!

 

[Older than Dirt]

Thank you so very much Gettingfat! I loved your original post. I laughed audibly here at the orfice and laughter is sorely needed here. And, the kicker is spending money to discover God! When I told my wife that I'm researching Christianity she got the most perplexed look on her face - she's a blonde to the roots and even she couldn't understand it!

 

[Dueck]

In fact, in one game I used Kremlin/slavery pop rush strategy to build Statue of Liberty. Too bad I couldn't rename it Statue of Slavery.

Hahaha, how ironic

 

[Rayjr]

can someone explain to me how one big damn in one city can power an entire continant? why do mounted units not get the benifit from terrian are they floating above the tree tops? why do monestaries lose thier tech help once scientific method is created what all of a sudden monks become stupid?


god I love this game

 

[impervius]

what really pisses me off is when that annoying three-city state on the other continent, says "i look down at your pathetic civilization" or some such

 

[Meffy]

So... Julius Caesar walks into a bar.

Barkeep asks, "What'll ya have?"

Caesar says, "What ya got?"

Barkeep thinks about it a minute, then suggests, "How about a Mad Catherine? Keeps enemy cities away from your borders."

Caesar frowns. "Never heard of it."

Barkeep smiles and says, "Same ingredients as in a White Russian -- vodka, Kahlua, and cream -- but you just shake it once, then knock the whole stack off before it has a chance to settle."

 

[sensoukami]

If gettingFat had been complaining, I'd agree with the "It's just a game" posters. But now that the original poster has brought it up, it is pretty funny.

And some of his criticisms could in fact be addressed and built into Civ V...

Pretty damn funny thread actually.

Happy Megolamania all...

 

[DementedAvenger]

truth hurts huh?

Studies have predicted that there will be less than 1% difference in temperature change between the scenario where the U.S. adopts the Kyoto protocol and the scenario where the U.S. does not.

 

[Xenocrates]

Manager: “Right men; see those trees over there? I want them cut immediately.”

Unit: “No can do sir.”

Manager: “What?”

Unit: “We’re axemen sir, we don’t chop trees.”

Manager: “WTH?”

_______________________________________________________

Me: “So what are those imperialist dogs plotting against us?”

Great Prophet: “Don’t ask me, I’m only a humble prophet”

Me: “So why do they call you a GREAT prophet?”

Great prophet: “For the same reason that they call large fries large Sir”

Me: “I see”

_____________________________________________________

I always thought I was God and that the leader was only my puppet in Civ. You know like God and Bush. If so, who the hell is the Christ fellow that my people are worshipping? The ungrateful fools.

_____________________________________________________

Military advisor: “It appears that we are alone on this island Sir”

Me: “Good work mate, let us set about building a fleet and lets go and deliver our bloody business abroad”

Production advisor: “Sorry Sir, we don’t know how to build a ship.”

Me: “So how the hell did we get here then.”

Religion manager: “We evolved from a species found only on this isle Sir.”

Me: “So why are we building these chariots then?”

Military advisor: “Never heard of the military industrial complex Sir? Don’t forget who’s in charge here”

Me: “Sorry Mr Cheney, I didn’t mean to offend.”

Military advisor: “Don’t let it happen again.”

_______________________________________________

Me: “How is our gold reserve looking?”

Economy advisor: “We haven’t access to gold Sir”

Me: “So our money is all paper then?”

Ec.Ad.: “We haven’t discovered paper yet Sir, our money is an idea”

Me: “Hmm… I see the French are willing to offer us 200 gold for our technology, I say we accept”

Ec. Ad: “That’s not a good idea Sir, our people will never accept French money as payment as they don’t recognise the French monarchy”

Me: “Ok I give up”

_________________________
I started a funny thread before.......
check http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=151029

 

[DrewBledsoe]

How about:-

King: "Take these people and their archer escort, and settle that new land your fleet sighted off the southern tip of our islalnd, Admiral"
Admiral: "But there is some treacherous deep water in between sire, we may get lost"
King : "Lost? But you can see the land"
Admiral : "Erm, well yes sire"
King : "I grant you permission to try , brave Admiral"
Admiral : "We will try, sire"

(6 Months later)

King : " Have the people settled the new lands, Admiral"
Admiral: "No sire"
King: "Why not?"
Admiral: "A huge glowing red circle, stopped us"
King: "....."
Admiral: "Apparently we need to discover something we will call "Astronomy" first, sire"
King: "Astronomy? What's that"
Admiral: "I don't know sire, we havent discovered it"
King : "GUARDS!"


.......

 

[Cdrommel]

Here's some I've thought of:
-It takes decades to build a library
-Discovering "Scientific Method" actually really kicks your science rate down- no more monestary science, no more great library....
-Build one small watermill on a tile that in the real world could represent up to 10,000 square km and you can't build anything else there
-You can only get a health benefit from fish, clams, and crabs if the city has a harbor... what, even when you have refrigeration the fish STILL spoils by the time it gets inland? -.-
-You can get anti-aircraft infantry before aircraft
-Cannons can't be built until the industrial age, when in fact they were invented LONG before muskets... logic? nah...

 

[DrewBledsoe]

Or how about:-

Advisor "Your excellancy, we have discovered a marvellous new idea, which we shall call "writing"...we should build a library at once.
King : "Writing? , Library? what are they?"
Advisor: " Writing is a method of placing the spoken word on ...erm...paper using a form of regular characters called an erm ..erm alphabet. A library is a place to store and view these written works"
King: "This sounds most excellent (Bill & Ted King) my man, but tell me ..which characters do our alphabet consist of"
Advisor : "Eeeehhhermmmm, we don't have one sir"
King "I see...and this "paper" you speak of"?
Advisor "Oh I just made that up sire....but we should still build a library at once sire, it will add to our city's culture..people will come from far afield..
King "...to view the empty shelves...no they'll think we're bloody daft.....GUARDS!"



....

BTW thanks to all the above posters in this thread who made me laugh