Make fun of Kim Jong Il
- Thread starter civconquer3000
- Start date
Mewtarthio
Emperor
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2004
- Messages
- 1,930
Reminds me of a joke I heard once...
As the endless talks over North Korean disarmament seemed at their most impotent, hope suddenly appeared when Kim Jong Il announced that he would listen seriously to the pleas of the world, but only if they were presented by US President George W. Bush himself in a private one-on-one conference. The two talked over the phone, but Kim insisted that the President come in person to deliver his message, and it was agreed after much deliberation that Bush would travel to Pyonyang.
Upon his arrival, the Secret Service made sure that Kim had no weapons on his person and that nobody could enter the room without the knowledge of both parties. Bush sat down in the room across from Kim, who had prepared a PowerPoint presentation for this occasion, controlling it with a remote. The President was slightly unnerved by Kim's maniacal grin, but did his best to pay attention to the endless, tiresome ranting of the dictator. Just as he was about to interrupt, Kim pushed a button on the remote, causing a weighted glove to swing down from the ceiling, slapping the President across the face.
As Kim burst out laughing, Bush tried his best to calm himself. This guy's just a little crazy; I bet that got it out of his system he thought. Bush then began his own rebuttal. As he reached the conclusion, he looked up from his notes and over to Kim to see how the dictator was responding. Oddly enough, Kim still had that same crazed grin on his face, apparently still thinking himself very clever. The President put down his notes and was about to ask if Kim was paying attention when the Korean pushed another button on his remote. A panel on the table opened, and a spring-loaded boxing glove flew out, punching the President in the jaw as Kim laughed hysterically.
Okay, thought Bush, This man is definately insane. Still, at least I know he's within hearing distance. I'm certain he caught some of my words, even if he wasn't really paying attention. I can stand this humiliation if it will make the world safer for democracy. He shook off the blow, glared levelly at Kim, and asked "What say you?" The dictator continued grinning, and launched into a long, incoherent rant. Bush did his best to remain on guard for another prank, but Kim's raving was so boring that he began to doze off. He was awakened rather rudely when, in response to another push of the remote, a counterweight-operated boot smashed up through the floor, hitting the President in the groin. Kim laughed hysterically, and the President pulled himself onto the table and eked out, "These... talks... aren't... going..." At this point, the Secret Service kicked down the door and escorted the President to safety.
One month later, Bush shocked the world by claiming the talk had gone surprisingly well, and that he would like to continue them, with the proviso that Kim come to America this time. Kim was shocked, but figured that nothing the American fools could do would ever humilate him, and his stoicism would be all the proof they would need to understand that North Korea was a force to be reckoned with. After these talks and the Americans' futile attempt at juvenille humor, Kim Jong Il would finally be recognized as the most powerful man in the world!
Kim entered the conference room in Washington, DC, and immediately noticed that the fool would indeed be attempting to avenge his earlier embarassment. The President, never one for subtlety, had placed three large buttons in front of his own place. Well, let him push them though Kim, [/i]and he will see who is the stronger man![/i]
The talks had gone on for only a few minutes when, sure enough, the madly grinning President pushed the first button. Kim immediately tensed up in true warrior form in expectation of the blow to come... but nothing happened. President Bush chuckled to himself.
Well, then, thought Kim, is it to be mind games? This fool is not clever enough: It must have been the bald one who was responsible. He smiled inwardly. Pity the bald one himself does not come forward to challenge me, for I shall best this imbecile before me in a battle of wits with greatest ease! He continued the talks with renewed confidence, and barely flinched when Bush hit the second button, again causing nothing.
Kim grinned confidently at the President, showing his composure, but was unnerved by the American's reaction. Instead of melting away before the strength of the Korean warrior, Bush laughed out loud. For the first time, Kim allowed himself a slight tremor of fear. Why does this man laugh? he thought, I have clearly evaded his tricks. There is nothing more he can do, for I have seen through his easily-unravelled web, and yet he continues to behave as though he were winning our duel. What does this mean? The answer dawned on him: Of course! He laughs because I am playing into his final trap! He wishes me to feel as though I can predict him before his launches his most dangerous attack! Well, Mister President, the bald man has coached you well, but I am stronger than he! Relish the thought of your victory, fool, for you shall fall all the harder after your defeat! He continued the discussion, doing his best to act like a man who thought he knew what was going on but really didn't (he prided himself on his acting abilities).
And so, when the President pressed the final button, Kim was ready. He sprung from his chair, flipping over its back and landing flat on his own. The President was laughing hysterically. The bruised dictator sprung up and looked around for what he had dodged and, sure enough, the button had done nothing. Kim flew into a rage. "How dare you mock me like this!" he screamed, "Laugh all you wish now, Mister President, but know that the great military power of North Korea will not stand for this effrontery!"
President Bush stopped laughing long enough to say, "North Korea? What North Korea?"
As the endless talks over North Korean disarmament seemed at their most impotent, hope suddenly appeared when Kim Jong Il announced that he would listen seriously to the pleas of the world, but only if they were presented by US President George W. Bush himself in a private one-on-one conference. The two talked over the phone, but Kim insisted that the President come in person to deliver his message, and it was agreed after much deliberation that Bush would travel to Pyonyang.
Upon his arrival, the Secret Service made sure that Kim had no weapons on his person and that nobody could enter the room without the knowledge of both parties. Bush sat down in the room across from Kim, who had prepared a PowerPoint presentation for this occasion, controlling it with a remote. The President was slightly unnerved by Kim's maniacal grin, but did his best to pay attention to the endless, tiresome ranting of the dictator. Just as he was about to interrupt, Kim pushed a button on the remote, causing a weighted glove to swing down from the ceiling, slapping the President across the face.
As Kim burst out laughing, Bush tried his best to calm himself. This guy's just a little crazy; I bet that got it out of his system he thought. Bush then began his own rebuttal. As he reached the conclusion, he looked up from his notes and over to Kim to see how the dictator was responding. Oddly enough, Kim still had that same crazed grin on his face, apparently still thinking himself very clever. The President put down his notes and was about to ask if Kim was paying attention when the Korean pushed another button on his remote. A panel on the table opened, and a spring-loaded boxing glove flew out, punching the President in the jaw as Kim laughed hysterically.
Okay, thought Bush, This man is definately insane. Still, at least I know he's within hearing distance. I'm certain he caught some of my words, even if he wasn't really paying attention. I can stand this humiliation if it will make the world safer for democracy. He shook off the blow, glared levelly at Kim, and asked "What say you?" The dictator continued grinning, and launched into a long, incoherent rant. Bush did his best to remain on guard for another prank, but Kim's raving was so boring that he began to doze off. He was awakened rather rudely when, in response to another push of the remote, a counterweight-operated boot smashed up through the floor, hitting the President in the groin. Kim laughed hysterically, and the President pulled himself onto the table and eked out, "These... talks... aren't... going..." At this point, the Secret Service kicked down the door and escorted the President to safety.
One month later, Bush shocked the world by claiming the talk had gone surprisingly well, and that he would like to continue them, with the proviso that Kim come to America this time. Kim was shocked, but figured that nothing the American fools could do would ever humilate him, and his stoicism would be all the proof they would need to understand that North Korea was a force to be reckoned with. After these talks and the Americans' futile attempt at juvenille humor, Kim Jong Il would finally be recognized as the most powerful man in the world!
Kim entered the conference room in Washington, DC, and immediately noticed that the fool would indeed be attempting to avenge his earlier embarassment. The President, never one for subtlety, had placed three large buttons in front of his own place. Well, let him push them though Kim, [/i]and he will see who is the stronger man![/i]
The talks had gone on for only a few minutes when, sure enough, the madly grinning President pushed the first button. Kim immediately tensed up in true warrior form in expectation of the blow to come... but nothing happened. President Bush chuckled to himself.
Well, then, thought Kim, is it to be mind games? This fool is not clever enough: It must have been the bald one who was responsible. He smiled inwardly. Pity the bald one himself does not come forward to challenge me, for I shall best this imbecile before me in a battle of wits with greatest ease! He continued the talks with renewed confidence, and barely flinched when Bush hit the second button, again causing nothing.
Kim grinned confidently at the President, showing his composure, but was unnerved by the American's reaction. Instead of melting away before the strength of the Korean warrior, Bush laughed out loud. For the first time, Kim allowed himself a slight tremor of fear. Why does this man laugh? he thought, I have clearly evaded his tricks. There is nothing more he can do, for I have seen through his easily-unravelled web, and yet he continues to behave as though he were winning our duel. What does this mean? The answer dawned on him: Of course! He laughs because I am playing into his final trap! He wishes me to feel as though I can predict him before his launches his most dangerous attack! Well, Mister President, the bald man has coached you well, but I am stronger than he! Relish the thought of your victory, fool, for you shall fall all the harder after your defeat! He continued the discussion, doing his best to act like a man who thought he knew what was going on but really didn't (he prided himself on his acting abilities).
And so, when the President pressed the final button, Kim was ready. He sprung from his chair, flipping over its back and landing flat on his own. The President was laughing hysterically. The bruised dictator sprung up and looked around for what he had dodged and, sure enough, the button had done nothing. Kim flew into a rage. "How dare you mock me like this!" he screamed, "Laugh all you wish now, Mister President, but know that the great military power of North Korea will not stand for this effrontery!"
President Bush stopped laughing long enough to say, "North Korea? What North Korea?"
Maniacal
the green Napoleon
Mwha wha ha a!
But what about the innocent people?
But what about the innocent people?
BunnyWabbit
Yeyeah!
Hadreans are hilariouse
civconquer3000
You disappoint me...
Come on! More people post on this thread!
Perfection
The Great Head.
Maniacal
the green Napoleon
Heh heh heh...
Rambuchan
The Funky President
Hohoho. Good to see that head butt living on.Perfection said:
The breaking news on the sea of Japan was great too.
But, imho, nothing has beaten the send up of the man made by 'Team America: World Police'. That was comic genius.
brettman135
Stan The Man
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2006
- Messages
- 45
Kim Jong Ilis missile crazy. I guess i know what games he played as a child
civconquer3000
You disappoint me...
Ha ha, brettman...
Well, only if I think its that...
Well, only if I think its that...
carmen510
Deity
The two above are funny. The Olympics and cartoons.Edit: Just saw Sea of Japan. LMAO!
Kim's Advisor: Sir, the nukes failed to scar the Sea of Japan.
Kim: Well then, give orders for land invasion!
Next day.....
Advisor 1: Errrrr.... Sir.
Kim: Yes?
Advisor 1: Well the land invasion failed.
Kim: You stupid idiot! How could we fail the land invasion of the Sea of Japan?
Advisor 2: Well, you see, the men drowned.
Kim: How could you drown in the Sea of Japan?
Advisor 1 & 2: Its a sea!
Kim: Oh, I thought the Sea of Japan was an island of Japan.
Perfection
The Great Head.
Is the resemblance to my avatar coincidental or intentional?
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