Mysterious lessons from childhood

[Timsup2nothin]

One method I use with old toasters is to put a thumb on the top of the toaster so you can grip under the handle with your fingers and forcefully eject the toast which you then grab out of the air with your other hand.

I was young enough at the time that my hands were too small, but I have used that also later in life.

 

[amadeus]

There are a lot of gaps in my childhood memory, so these kinds of stories are either long since forgotten or buried deep in the recesses of the unused part of my brain (probably the biggest by size.)

One I will remember though is when I was sitting on a bench overlooking a lake when I was about 6 or 7 years old. I was just looking at my middle finger which then had a little brown birthmark on it. I don’t know when it faded away but it happened sometime maybe when I was in high school.

Anyway, as I was looking at my finger I had my other four fingers folded into my hand—which looked a lot like a gesture I’m sure everyone knows.

An older woman came and sat down next to me and then told me that I shouldn’t be doing that with my hand and it was very impolite. For some reason, I never got the chance to explain to her that I wasn’t making naughty hand gestures, just looking at the birthmark on my finger. She just got up and left, and I didn’t see her again after that.

I always wonder what happened to that woman, if she is still around, and if she ever thought again of that little boy on the bench by the lake.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

There are a lot of gaps in my childhood memory, so these kinds of stories are either long since forgotten or buried deep in the recesses of the unused part of my brain (probably the biggest by size.)

One I will remember though is when I was sitting on a bench overlooking a lake when I was about 6 or 7 years old. I was just looking at my middle finger which then had a little brown birthmark on it. I don’t know when it faded away but it happened sometime maybe when I was in high school.

Anyway, as I was looking at my finger I had my other four fingers folded into my hand—which looked a lot like a gesture I’m sure everyone knows.

An older woman came and sat down next to me and then told me that I shouldn’t be doing that with my hand and it was very impolite. For some reason, I never got the chance to explain to her that I wasn’t making naughty hand gestures, just looking at the birthmark on my finger. She just got up and left, and I didn’t see her again after that.

I always wonder what happened to that woman, if she is still around, and if she ever thought again of that little boy on the bench by the lake.

What did you think at the time? It seems odd that you "never got the chance to explain to her." Did she rush off so fast? Was it just confusing? Did you try to explain and get shut down?

What I learned about this as a technique is that it is really easy to get sidetracked by questions that have no answers. What happened to the woman? What was my mother thinking when she came into the kitchen? WTF really happened to that five bucks? But the useful questions do have answers. What did I think about it? What did I say? What did I see happen?

Rather than just brute force pondering an event that happened when you were six or seven try to think of other times in life that something sort of parallel has happened. You are innocently doing whatever and someone corrects you for something else entirely. That basically happens to everyone at times...you work your ass off for hours and the minute you pause for a breather the boss walks in and gives you that "why are you just standing around?" look. Whatever. If you think about how you feel and react in those moments it will probably help with recalling how you felt about this woman when you were on the park bench.

 

[amadeus]

What did you think at the time? It seems odd that you "never got the chance to explain to her." Did she rush off so fast? Was it just confusing? Did you try to explain and get shut down?

I think I was just surprised at the time and my reaction was slow.

I don’t think of this interaction alone as being something that has caused me any sort of distress per se. When I recall the story now, it’s more about how some people just stick with you in your mind for whatever reason even if they may have long forgotten you.

I wonder who remembers me, but I have forgotten.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

I think I was just surprised at the time and my reaction was slow.

I don’t think of this interaction alone as being something that has caused me any sort of distress per se. When I recall the story now, it’s more about how some people just stick with you in your mind for whatever reason even if they may have long forgotten you.

I wonder who remembers me, but I have forgotten.

It isn't about causing stress. There are just as many situations where a child says to themselves "that was great I'm going to be _____" and becomes an adult that is always being _____ even when it isn't necessarily the most effective course, knows it isn't the most effective course but does it anyway, and says "I guess that's just the way I am and I can't change it."

Generally speaking, just the fact that the incident "just sticks in your mind" increases the odds that you made some fairly profound life choice at the time. Do you remember what happened the next day? Three days before? I'm guessing no. Our minds prioritize our memories in ways that we are usually completely in the dark about, but it isn't just random. That incident probably doesn't "stick in your mind" just because it drew the short straw.