Name users and remembering names

[ainwood]

I am not a name-user. That is, I do not routinely use peoples' names in conversations. I may use their names initially to engage them in conversation, but after that, I don't.

In contrast, I had a flat-mate who would use the name of the person that she was addressing in virtually every sentence she spoke - I actually found that quite strange - or weird even.

I have heard however, that a good way of rembering peoples' names is to use them - when you are introduced you should say 'hello <insert name here>, pleased to meet you' etc, then follow that up by using there name in the next few sentences.

I however, am hopeless with names. I can have forgotten someone's name within seconds of being told it. What are your views? Do you use names? Are you good at remembering names? Do people continually using your name when conversing with you, freak you out?

 

[skadistic]

I seldom use names. I use the all encompasing "dude" more then I probaly should. In my work life I use Mr. and Ms. but in everyday life I'm just lazy and don't care so I don't bother.

 

[AceChilla]

Its a sign of affection to use someones name when talking to them Ainwood

 

[Mauer]

Ainwood, AceChilla is correct, it is a sign of affection. I also use terms such as "dude" or "man", and somtimes even "sir" just as you do skadistic.

 

[ainwood]

Its a sign of affection to use someones name when talking to them Ainwood

Is that what you think, AceChilla? Or is this something that is generally recognised from psychological studies, AceChilla?

And further, AceChilla, do you think that frequent use of names actually helps name / face recognition - or is it simply the 'affection' issue, AceChilla?

 

[Xen]

I am not a name-user. That is, I do not routinely use peoples' names in conversations. I may use their names initially to engage them in conversation, but after that, I don't.

In contrast, I had a flat-mate who would use the name of the person that she was addressing in virtually every sentence she spoke - I actually found that quite strange - or weird even.

I have heard however, that a good way of rembering peoples' names is to use them - when you are introduced you should say 'hello <insert name here>, pleased to meet you' etc, then follow that up by using there name in the next few sentences.

I however, am hopeless with names. I can have forgotten someone's name within seconds of being told it. What are your views? Do you use names? Are you good at remembering names? Do people continually using your name when conversing with you, freak you out?

 

[Birdjaguar]

I am not very good with names and when introduced to new people forget their name unless I make an effort to remember: write it down, repeat it to myself several times,get a business card and refer back to it etc. Once I know someone, I tend to use their name in conversation with them at least once in the conversation.

 

[REDY]

I dont using names but I think its better.

 

[Totibbs]

in Dutch culture, it is charismatic if you say "hello, <insert name>" instead of just "hello". Even if it is just your friend or teacher, or someone you see every day.
When Im downtown having a beer with friends, and getting in chat with people Ive never seen before and will never see after, Im not interested in the name.
Sometimes I see people once a week downtown. Then it is a bit embarissing if you just do not remember their name.

Saying someones name every sentence is getting lame after a (short) time.

 

[Abaddon]

I use names, its the only hope i have of ever remebering their name!

If i fail to remeber their name, im usually two embarrased to ask again so they turn into "dude" or "babe"

 

[Fifty]

I have to say I'm horrible at remembering names, although I easily recognize faces.

 

[Xanikk999]

Wow ive never seen a moderator start a thread unless it was stickied. Anyway when i refer to someone else for the first time in a conversation thats the only time i use a name.

 

[mrtn]

I'm with Xen, unfortunately...

 

[ybbor]

I'm horrible with names. There are still people in my classes who's names I have no idea of, and it's already 4-5 months in! I'm a lot better this year than I was last, but I'm still horrible. he first day of school comes I have no idea who's name is going to be important and whose isn't, so I rarely force myself to remember. A month or two in I'll notice who seems important and try to figure out their name when other people call them.

I use "Hey" and tap people on the arm/shoulder a lot to get their attention. in school, it would be too formal to say "sir" or "ma'am" so I don't have that luxury. One technique I've heard (I'm not exactly the most outgoing person so I've never tried to pull this off) that's good for getting around not knowing names is to develop a nickname. So "hey dude" turns into "Hey Cubs fan!" to the guy wearing a cubs shirt, or you remember is a Cubs fan. Seize on any conversation you've had and think of an identification. supposedly associating a nickname will reinforce their name as well.

 

[Sahkuhnder]

Wow ive never seen a moderator start a thread unless it was stickied. Anyway when i refer to someone else for the first time in a conversation thats the only time i use a name.

Me too. For some reason when people use my name repeatedly in conversation I start to get suspicious. You know my name. I know you know my name. We both know we are the ones talking. Why do you continue to repeat the obvious?

Sort of like when a used car salesman keeps telling you over and over "you can trust me" and "I wouldn't lie to you". It just kind of sets off my 'what's wrong with this picture' alarms.

 

[mrtn]

That's like when telephone salesmen call you your name, "Hello mrtn, would you like to get a special offer for inflatable underwear?", I hate that.

 

[ChrTh]

I'm horrible at remembering names, Chieftess, so don't feel bad.

The "use someone's name constantly" is a good idea for name memory. Just make sure it's natural. My understanding is that the recipient will have a more positive memory of the conversation if their name is used with some frequency. It'll also help keep them involved in the conversation, because we hear our own names easier than other words.

 

[Cuivienen]

I use names, but only for certain people, and in ways I don't really understand. I always say my boyfriend's name, my brother's name and my best friend's name. There are a few other people who I am not necessarily close to whose names I also always mention, and many close friends whose names I very rarely say. While it first glance it may seem an endearment to hear me say someone's name, I think it has more to do with what the name is than with how much I like someone.

And I'm very good at connecting names to faces, though not so good at connecting faces to names. That might be a result of having a Visual Non-Verbal-dominant memory.

 

[Narz]

In "How to Win Friends & Influence People" by Dale Carnegie the author recommends calling people by name. I find it effective. Though obviously it can be overused.

 

[Souron]

I am not a name-user. That is, I do not routinely use peoples' names in conversations. I may use their names initially to engage them in conversation, but after that, I don't.

In contrast, I had a flat-mate who would use the name of the person that she was addressing in virtually every sentence she spoke - I actually found that quite strange - or weird even.

I have heard however, that a good way of rembering peoples' names is to use them - when you are introduced you should say 'hello <insert name here>, pleased to meet you' etc, then follow that up by using there name in the next few sentences.

I however, am hopeless with names. I can have forgotten someone's name within seconds of being told it. What are your views? Do you use names? Are you good at remembering names? Do people continually using your name when conversing with you, freak you out?

I, like you am horrible with names. And I've suffered for it.