National humour

[Bifrost]

There everyone may post their national jokes and funny stories.
I'll begin with some Russian jokes:

A man comes to a doctor:
- Doctor (says the man) I have a horrible disease wherever I prod my body with a finger it hurts.!
- My dear pacient, you have your finger broken.

There are three types of dirty socks:
1 - A smell appears
2 - You throw them and they stick to the wall
3 - You set them and they stand
4 - There's no socks anymore, but there is a smell

 

[Bifrost]

A girl is praying before sleep:
GOD , I want everything to be good, and please, send some clothes to poor naked women form dad's magazine

At the customs:
-Your name?
-Whose?
-Your surname?
-What?
-Whose What - are you a Chinese?

A little girl comes back home.
She Enters the door of the dark house and goes straight to the lift.
A voice from the darkness:
-Hey, girl, su** it now!
-OK OK, just dont hurt me, please
After all done girl asks without emotion:
-Do you have a cigarette?
A man gives her a cigarette and sets fire to a lighter:
-Dad, i thought you are in the business trip;
-And I thought you dont smoke

On board of a Russian nuclear sub:
Captain: Who threw a shoe onto the command panel?
american soldier:Such a disgrace can never happen in our USA
Capitain: There is no your USA any more!!! Who had thrown a shoe?

A man returns from cinema trite, with a black eye.
-What happened to you? - his friends ask
-I just watched the movie and when it ended a neibour-sitting fat lady stood up.I Looked at her A** and saw that her dress sticked between the halves of her Bu**. I pulled it out then she turned to me and stroke my face.
The next day this very man returns from cinema with both black eyes
-What happened to you?- his friends ask
-I just watched the movie with my friend and when it ended a neibour-sitting fat lady stood up. Her dress sticked in her b*** like the previous time, but my friend pulled it out.I said she doesnt like when the dress is pulled out, and pushed her dress into her a**. Here's the result.

 

[Nagy]

Here is one:

A father and a mother wanted to have sex, but their son was sitting in the room with them.
so they tell him:" go on the balcony and tell us what the neighbours are doing".
after the son steps out, they start undressing and the father asks the son: "what do you see my boy?"
-"well, our neighbours are having sex!!!"
father:-"how did you know, can you see them?"
son:-"no but i can see their son on the balcony...."