orangeNES: Insert Witty Comment Here

welcometojubileecopy.jpg
 
Ok, I am scared now
 
Due date is listed in the first post, to those of you that may have missed it the first time.

vruchten, that's awesome... you have no idea how hard I laughed when I saw that poster.
 
And sneakster #4...

The tavern was squalid and truly disgusting, even in these days. But then again, this was Braduk the No Longer Shining. Braduk the Burning it was now called, and for good reason. Where else was safe right now though?

There were many lands that would not welcome him, even after all these years. Even borders that were easy to cross could hide spies on the other side. But while victory allows one to ride high, defeat will undoubtedly bring one quite low. And his defeat was a long time ago.

But all this waiting had taken its toll. With nothing to do but to hide, drink became a great temptation. He tried to rebuild once, but these orcs and goblins don’t take well to the Call. Their bodies are too fragile to handle the conversions, and injuries become too prevalent to create a reliable force.

So the bottle called, and he listened. Years passed by in a blur. Drinking, gambling, fighting, and of course, killing. But no one noticed that here. They had their own agendas.

These past few days, his dreams had been troubled. Actually more troubling is that he was dreaming at all…. The whiskey must not be strong enough. But in these dreams he sees a far off tower reflecting the sun in such a way as to blind and even sear an approaching enemy, and yet he stands alone. No army. No friends. It feels…. Like….

And then he wakes. And the feeling escapes before it can be identified. This morning was no different.

Five whiskeys into the night, he caught a glimpse of something slinking past the front door. Surely the drink had something to do with it. He blinked his eyes to clear his vision. As he strained to see into the gathering darkness outside, he suddenly realized that someone had joined him at his table.

He fumbled for his blade, when the stranger said softly, “Your Grace, I am sorry for this intrusion.” Nonplussed and fully inebriated, he now realized, he was unable to speak for a moment. “I was told to give you this. And to tell you, there are those who yet believe.”

“Wait!” he started as the stranger made to leave, “Who are you?”

“A messenger, your Grace, nothing more,” and then the stranger was gone.

Puzzled and bemused, Duin Halfmorn fingered the pouch the stranger had slipped across the table. After a few moments, he reached inside and pulled out the pendant.” Of course it Is”, he thought, and ordered another whiskey.
Click to expand...

He turned the rune over and over in his hand. The stranger had left before he could get a good look, but something had been familiar about the man. To the untrained eye, this pendant seemed to be no more than a trinket had for a few pence in any back market in Ithralia, but it was much more. It was said that the rune had been forged by Kilmorph herself in days long gone. What is known is that it was found in the foothills east of Illiad nearly one hundred years ago.

Considered a good luck charm by Malakim traders, it was bought and sold many times. Until one day when it was purchased by a particular tribal leader. What happened next is another story. Then, as suddenly as it had appeared, it vanished again. It fell out of the tales of even the eldest trader.

Until it surfaced again in Midgar seven years ago. It was brought back by a 3-person adventuring crew who had just spent two years in the black lands of the Sheaim. They never told where it was found, and four days after selling the rune at auction, the bunkhouse they were sleeping in burned to the ground taking all three lives.

Times were better then.
Click to expand...
 
Hemah, Mary Morbus, and Baron Duin Halfmorn. Let's just say right now that the nations will have a major headache coming
 
Muuuuuuhhhahaahaaa *cough**cough* Ack need to work on my evil laugh more for this.
 
I'm image editing noob but here goes nadda:

[img="http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/2552/khzad.jpg"]http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/2552/khzad.jpg[/img]

We(dwarves), hereby, welcome any visitors to our royal Magnificent town, Heroes or nations, Peasants, kings and slaves (Does not matter if escaped, free or for selling - we'll take them!)are equally welcome! Come enjoy fine drink, fight with dwarf or two and most importantly spend your money have fun, It is guaranteed that you leave with happy memory and heavy headaiche and with an empty purse! Our town is built upon hills, nice scenic view for you, painters and poets, place to practice for warriors, and special quarters for noblemen! We don't care if you look like a being from hell or angel from heaven(s),

We welcome you (what- or whoever you are) into Dwarven Town of Khazak!

Our Siege weapons are THE best that you can get on Erbus, so perhaps you could consider ordering some from us? Loyal clients get them cheaper! They will tear down enemy walls with matter of hours - GUARANTEED Or you will get your money back*! We also allow to pay by small parts! ***



Lack of soldiers? Not enough armies to fight? Not enough people are willing to defend (or attack) others? We'll help you out!*

Need a Loan? For some reason gold coins have become rare in your kingdom/whatever? We can provide you with some! Order now, and we'll imprint whatever you want on these coins! You can choose from hundreds of pre-made pictures (some include nudity) or create your own design! To pay loan back, we allow per turn payments! **

*- minus shipping costs and possible wages, sold items have to be "at full health" we, don't do refund if item(s) have been damaged..
**Loans come with intresses.
***Comes with small intress
THIS POST IS NOT A JOKE, WHAT I WROTE, I MEAN!
 
That was actually even funnier then the Jubilee ad...
 
Seon said:
That was actually even funnier then the Jubilee ad...
Click to expand...

And funniest thing is, I actually meant everything I posted: Need a loan? I'm your man dwarf.

Orcs/creatures at your doorstep(s)? - dwarven warriors are known for their brutality during barfights.

My dwarves can also mass produce Siege weapons what can be loaned (or sold)to other nations, of course buyer pays for manufacture, training soldiers to use these and shipping fees.

Slaves rebel? Need to get rid of annoying (grand)children or wife(s)?. We will buy them! Our community has slaves representee/faction present in our Council, we'll gladly increase their faction size.
 
I can just imagine the Trade Federation forming as I see
 
To All of Erebus

If anyone messes with the Hippus, prepare to get destroye... Oh wait (Advisor whispers into themessanger) Uh... I mean if anyonemesses with the dudes that hire the hippus, prepare to get owned.
 
Ack, my campaign at FFH NES II failed, and I am shifting gears to this NES. Nations, prepare to get a major headache for the rest of eternity
 
I am bluffing, It's one lie that worked against everyone here

Thanks, and have a nice day :p

Smiley faces for the win!
 
hbar said:
Just try to be more...private with your strategies.
Click to expand...

Need strategies? Lack of thinking and planning crew? No city engineers and planners? No one talented enough to give orders to your rabble able army? We'll help you out!

WE got solution for this problem! You all know how well dwarven cities are planned, how our machines are built and how without any orders whatsoever strategically dwarven troops move?

You can HIRE our services, never again, will you have to worry about giving orders to your army or planning proper city layout, WE can do it for you! Order now, and we'll give free ticket to City of Khzad bars Functions only in "workers bar"!

(OOC: You are not the only one losing his control, you atleast made some damage, but I have not completed my artifact yet, and now my base in hands of undead :(
 
OOCD
o want to crush some petty wife... I mean thorn in the ass.. I mean enemy nation?

Do find your horses look more like meat cows than steads?

Hire the Hippus now and empty your coffers... Or Else!
 
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