PR01 An OCC Diplomatic Excursion

[Rex Tyrannus]

975 BC Turn 6

Knux and Miss Budah find a new friend

IBT

Knux protects his lady love by savaging the brute who attempted to defile her honor...( Knucklead Smith wins 1.4/2)

950 BC Turn 7

Mecca grows to pop 7 and she stinks (unhealthy).

My first moment of the turnset (that I've bothered to acknowledge): Knux needs 3 turns to heal outside our borders. "No problem," says I, "we're only one square from good-guy land." Spend a turn moving KS and the missionary...Now he'll heal in 2. That's 2, plus the 1 to move him there, plus the 1 to move him back. Great, I'm the dumbest man alive!

925 BC Turn 8

Priesthood in, switch to Writing for Open Borders.

Hee hee...Mansa refuses to talk.

Wife Beater moves in to investigate the barb city. Right next to Mansa's grave.

900 BC Turn 9

The monastery is in. Begin work on The Oracle. Due in 12. Try not to miss this one by 3, would you Pholk?

Knux get's close enough to read the writing on the wall. Say hello to Yue-Chi

I'm gonna end it here. It's turn 9 for me, but 900 is a round number.

Here's the F9 screen. We suck.

 

[Rex Tyrannus]

Tag, you're "it".

Karl: What part of "beat it" don't you understand?

Principal Skinner: I guess the "it"

 

[pholkhero]

I think the best part of it all is that all of our tiles are "100% Knuckleheaded"

That's just like a free joke everytime you look at the screen.

also:

I take the time to give our "hero" a proper name. Anyone got a stained tee-shirt skin for a warrior?

He's sure got the mullet already!

 

[pholkhero]

In Pennsylvanian, that means 'got it.'

Or rather, 'twould mean got it, if only . . .

 

[Rex Tyrannus]

What do you mean, "if only"? Check post #22 you near-sighted dingleberry.

 

[pholkhero]

I meant...uh...if only....uhm..if only I . . .

"if only I had but one wish, 'twould be to wish for peace on earth and goodwill toward all -- EEP!"

"That's right, 'Orace!! Beat'em wif 'is own cruches!!"

and that was the day tiny tim stopped believing in christmas miracles...

how sad

[/got it]

 

[Rex Tyrannus]

The oracle's calling...

...one more turn?

 

[pholkhero]

Okay...i played to 1245 ad ~

No, really, i actually had to stop a few turns in. we're having company over and their brat is in my ear and will NOT stop talking about the game ~ little f-ed up sugar addict...

to all, stay tuned for the next exciting installment ~ same Banter time, same Banter thread

ps...my favorite line from the EDITED ferris bueller: mr rooney to his secretary (mrs poole from Valerie's Family/Meet the Hogans ~ sickening, that is):
"Go soak your head."

 

[Rex Tyrannus]

I find children to be much more pleasant when accompanied by a properly fitted ball gag.

So...um...I shouldn't grab it?

 

[frankcor]

"I like children only when they're properly cooked." -- W.C. Fields

 

[Rex Tyrannus]

"I like children only when they're properly cooked." -- W.C. Fields

Seriously. I was so pissed that one time the wife and I had saved up some money to take a trip out to Hilton Head. We went to this $150 a plate restaraunt and I ordered Eight-Year-Old a la Carbonara. It was supposed to be this tender, suculent, perfection of a dinner.

Bastard chef over-cooked it and added too much salt!

Worst $150 I ever spent.

 

[Rex Tyrannus]

While waiting for Pholk to continue the saga, I started up a nearly identical start to this one. The only difference (that I had intended--see below) was quick speed.

I immediately started working on Stonehenge in 4000 BC and went for Polytheism first (by accident). Grabbed Hindu and moved to meditation, but Budhism was grabbed when I only had two turns left to research it myself.

First expansion popped a hut for hunting. My exploring warrior grabbed a useless map--useless because it showed me nothing good.

When meditation came in, I switched to priesthood. Stonehenge was mine on the exact turn priesthood finished so I began Oracle. Note, no workers, no worker techs.

I then switched to masonry, which only needed 4 turns. I quickly followed masonry with monotheism and founded Judaism.

Just before the oracle completed, I popped a great prophet (philosophical rocks for this type of game) and used it to create the Hindu shrine.

When oracle landed, I took theology as my free tech (I was already halfway done with CoL) and founded christianity. That's when Sid recommended I build a settler and I noticed that I'd forgotten to check OCC.

Whoops.

I've got a fairly strong notion that, had I started meditation first, instead of polytheism, I stood a good chance of getting both. I would then have been set with the first five religions, stonehenge, the oracle, and one serious GP factory.

The starting location was rather ordinary. It had a gold mine two tiles away that I never even worked. It also had a rice patty and was on a river. No other resources.

I really like the tech path, if you reverse meditation and polytheism. I'll try a few more starts like this to confirm that notion.

If we find that we've screwed the pooch on this start, I'd be up for either a restart or a rematch after this one ends.

Edit: I went back into the save. The exact research path was poly, meditation, mining, priest, masonry, mono, writing, theology, CoL.

Also, check out this start. I was continuing my experiment and the very next restart was this:

18 Flood plains in the fat cross? With 7 unhealthy, I'm stagnant at pop 1! I'm trying to decide if this is the best start ever, or the worst. Anybody?

 

[pholkhero]

If we find that we've screwed the pooch on this start, I'd be up for either a restart or a rematch after this one ends.

I'd rather play it out and see how it unfolds. Restarting is just . . .

Playing now ~

and, in the spirit of beating wives and eating children (we're like a new Fox reality show now):
A Modest Proposal

 

[pholkhero]

My wife told me about a friend of hers. She's called the "funsucker"

you can call me the wonder sucker.

Oracle feel a few turns in. I stopped at 700 bc or so. Restarting is looking better . . . but would it bode ill for our RP series?

ahh, f- it...i don't know.

Oh yeah, Knux Smif died (w/Com I, Shock AND Wood I in a forest), and our monk. What's wrong with me??

Should i be called the CivSucker

 

[pholkhero]

I restarted a map. I decided to leave the decision to restart up to the gods ~ here's teh rolled start:

thoughts?

 

[pholkhero]

ahh ****, no raging barbs, though!

edit: f-in Wordinistas

 

[Rex Tyrannus]

Maybe better?

Honestly, I was playing around with practice runs for the tech order and found that I pretty much needed a start that allows the city to grow quickly and use a lot of tiles with one gold.

I abandoned all production until after Budhism and Hinduism were founded, then switched to a balanced research/production plan.

The real trick was getting the fast growth. You can't see it here, but there are two flood plains in the fat cross.

 

[pholkhero]

ya know what...upon further reflection, I decided that it is strictly outside the boundaries of knuckleheadedness to restart. I'm playing from where we left off in the original game and heading write to righting.

**cue patriotic music**The very ideals of the Founding Fathers of this great Empire of Knuckleheads require us to do our duty, in respect for the sacrifices of those who have gone before us, and protected our very rights as Knuckleheads. NO! We must fight ON! We must not let the bastards drag us down, for in the end, the victory of the Knuckleheads will show all the true vaules of our virtues!**/end patriotic music**

 

[Rex Tyrannus]

A tear comes to Homer's eye as he watches the Australian toilet flow in the correct, American direction: "Sweet land of liberty...of thee I sing".

Rock on brother! Now let's go get our asses kicked with the best of 'em!

Edit: Oh, and if we ever want to try this again, say WHEN we lose, I'm pretty sure I've figured out the key to the correct starting strategy.

 

[pholkhero]

okay, here's a quite brief summary: tried for code after a brief detour to pottery; he had no extra commerce whatsoever and CoL was about 35 turns...we lost by about 9. The good news: it was Mao so the Hindu bloc is broken up. Taoism dropped, but i think it was gandhi b/c no one converted. FDR and Monty are Buddhist, Nap is Hindu but now has 2 buddhist cities, w/another missionary on the way. I have 2 archer pairs in the north and south, stationed near Barb cities to intercept any dangers. Our unique warriors are dead, passing the baton to the future heroes.

My plan now: Use FDR for research, sell it Nappy and Monty for wars on the heathens. Cultivate good relations w/all and spread the relgion and we just might have a chance.

We're currently almost done w/alpha so we can get the fights started.

More to follow later tonight.