Inherited turn
Judging by pholk's last write-up, I think my first call will be to whip some screenshots. <rim_shot />
No MM. We're stagnant at pop 12 mainly because we have -4 food due to health problems. I could turn off the one engineer we're running, but Pholk seems to have a plan. Pop 12 it is!
Press enter.
IBT
Sylvester Stalone wants us to war with America.
When did Roosevelt get so angry with us that he refuses to talk? Damn. Oh well, we're not going to win the diplo by trying to make
everyone happy, are we? As weird as it sounds, Napoleon (+7) and Monte (+6) are our two best friends. Even stranger, they both like each other a lot. This is the oddest triangle diplomacy I've ever had.
So anyway, Pholk's going to kill me. Worse, he'll think I'm trying to suicide this game. I really think that our only shot at this variant is through the mutual military struggle bonus Monte will share. If we can get Nappy to join in the fun...??? Maybe they'll both grab some good population from FDickR and vote us into the winner's circle.
Let's hope our 6 or so archers can hold out, huh?
Holding my breath over the insane tech lead America has over us, I press the button...
Turn 1
A very well-timed series of screams in my headphones tells me that Washington has been sacked by the Aztecs. Woo Hoo! I tried to bring Nappy into the frey, but we don't have enough bribery. Oh well. Further checks of the trade screens show that absolutely no one is willing to trade anything to us.
Lastly, Monte's keeping America off of our backs but, from what I can tell, he doesn't have a lot of troops on American soil. Just to be safe, I'll move our lone worker out of the way.
Hit enter
IBT
Mao offers open borders and I accept.
God, I can't stop staring at that mole/wart/tumor/zit on his chin. I had that same problem with that jigsaw-puzzle piece on Gorbachev's head.
Turn 2
IBT
How bad is it that we enter the Medieval period in 1330 AD? I'm really tempted to open world builder and see if we're actually dumber than the barbarians.
Turn 3
Machinery => Feudalism for longbows.
Turn 4
Our war-zone-evacuee worker arrives on our NE rice patty and begins farming. Maybe we can trade the extra rice for a health bonus.
Turn 5
Roosey's brought some troops to within panick distance but a quick scan shows a settler with the mace. I'm guessing he's not aiming for lil ol Mecca.
IBT
An American worker scurying across our our northern territory helps me realize that Roosey's got a city up there (San Francisco). Maybe our rice patty isn't the safest place for our worker...
Turn 6
Globe Theater (no more happy issues) => Hanging Gardens. WTH, right?
Hey, here's a thought. How screwed will we be when Montezuma captures the Christian holy city? Might he actually raze it if it's really far from his territory? I doubt it.
IBT
As if on cue, Valley Girls run screaming from their Starbucks as Monte takes Los Angeles. He promptly creates the world's biggest bonfire of the vanities and the smoldering glow from what used to be LA can almost be seen from Mecca. America is still the Christian capital, so wrong city.
Turn 7
Turn 8
I see a few Americans move near us but, by the time it's actually my turn, those troops are replaced by wounded Aztec horse archers.
Turn 9
IBT
Mao offers to not crush us with chucks for 150 gold.
Gladly. That's a cheap +1 modifier, I say. This is the advantage to having nothing. The stupid demands are usually to your advantage.
Turn 10
Nothing really. Nappy still won't go to war on our account. Bummer. Anyway, that's the end. A quick scan of the demo screen shows that we're actually not last in hammers. Looks like Roosey's on the way out.
Anyhow, thoughts?
for you
that's a pretty good one!
