Quotes from random CFC People at random times

Status
Not open for further replies.
Bluemofia

Bluemofia

F=ma
Joined
Dec 8, 2003
Messages
7,979
Location
Dimension called Elsewhere
Ah, share the quotes from fellow CFC members that are of notable interest.

To begin:
Perfection said:
Nah, the mods love me. They just don't know how to show it in a healthy and constructive manner.
Click to expand...
 
Not sure if these are notable, but I found them amusing at the time.



(This one isn't in the Dark Blue theme because it was right after a big forum upgrade and Dark Blue wasn't available at the time. ;) It's the first quote from here I ever saved.....and my personal favorite. :lol:



 
In response to: you cant, unless its some religon of ironduck

ironduck
It is! And we are very happy to bless marriages, in fact it's one of our main areas of interests.

The ceremony tune goes something like..

We will we will
Bless you!
We will we will
Bless you!

Ducky you're a duck, make a big noise
Playin' in the pond, gonna be a big duck some day
You got mud on yer' face
It's a big duck race
Struttin' your feathers all over the place!

We will we will
Bless you! Bless you!
Click to expand...
 
Simon Darkshade said:
If you are really keen, my associates in the Union Corse can arrange your kidnap for Friday morning at 1132 hours. You don't need to pack, but a light lunch may be useful. Dress is formal evening wear, tails, tophat, etc, etc.

You will seized from the street from behind by four burly thugs cunningly disguised as leprous gibbon salesmen on their way to a conference in Lisbon and drugged out of your senses, courtesy of a very large and sharp syringe. Thus incapacitated, you will be placed in a hessian bag, castrated for good measure, and thrown roughly in the back of a van. Using backroads and smugglers roots, you will be driven to a disused nunnery in Holland where the snatch squad will hand you over to the next team.

They will conduct a thorough desensitizing psychological brainwashing process, so that you have no more perception of reality than the Italian cricket team. This will include repeated screenings of Flipper and North. You will also be castrated for good measure. The team will be cunningly disguised as Tunisian ornithologists with pronounced stutters and a penchant for nude tennis.

After 6 months of lying low at St. Flodders, you will be sealed into a coffin with the corpse of the team leader, who will kill himself when the job is done. The coffin will be placed into the back of militarily adapted hearse, and driven by a circuituous root to a mortuary. From there, you will be unpacked and put on the Orient Express, cunningly disguised as ladies luggage. You will also be castrated for good measure. You will be thrown off at Vienna, where a pair of Siamese twins will take you to Salzburg, partially by horse and cart and concealed beneath a shipment of carrots.

There, a burly Italian mountaineer looking suspiciously like Franco Nero will carry you over the border and into Venice, where you will be locked in a luxuriant hotel room overlooking the stunning views of the beach and Dirk Borgarde perving on the little boys. Some two days later, a man will knock upon your door, and then open it, claiming to be able to sell you a lifetimes supply of coconuts. Ignore him. The concierge will come up to your room, and put you in your taxi to the airport. On the way, the driver will castrate you for good measure.

Via Rome, you will fly to New York, kept in a cage with two rather amorous monkeys. You will be picked up by a traffic cop, a construction worker, an Indian and a sailor, which should be an interesting experience. A short taxi ride to a hazy flophouse in New Jersey later, you will be greeted by a crowded room of CB radio enthusiasts, and castrated for good measure. A man in the corner will approach you for a match. You will see right away he is not ordinary. He'll say 'Are you looking for something easy to catch?' Ignore him.

Later that night, you will be whisked away in a motorcycle sidecar to an abandoned airfield where you will be flown by seaplane to a waiting submarine in the mid Atlantic. Upon coming aboard, you will be castrated for good measure. Your quarters will be with the petty officers, who despite their name can be quite magnanimous. Except for Bruce, he's a real b1tch. The sub will creep along at a slow rate to avoid detection, and eventually surface off the coast of Devil's Island.

From there, you will relayed to Guyana by highspeed Zodiac, where you may meet with me via videolink in the shady backroom of a knocking shop in the bustling slums of Georgetown. You will of course be blindfolded during said videoconference. And my voice will be supplied by Daniel Radcliffe. And following the experience, you will again be brainwashed so that you have no memory of it, or the other experiences you have had; you will be conditioned to think that you have only spent two weeks in Paris, swimming in the Seine and thinking dirty thoughts about M. Eiffel's tower. Not that they could do any good, seeing that as a parting gesture, you will be castrated for good measure.

:ack: :evil:
Click to expand...
http://forums.civfanatics.com/showpost.php?p=1383150&postcount=94
 
http://forums.civfanatics.com/showpost.php?p=2981619&postcount=18

Bozo Erectus said:
Once I was in a warm, comfortable place. Then suddenly the walls started buckling around me and I realised I had to escape. I crawled down a tunnel till I saw a light, and I made my towards it. As I emerged on the other side, I gasped at the bright light and coldness of the air. I was so shocked I couldnt breathe. Then a giant ugly ogre grabbed me by the ankles and smacked me hard on the butt until I started crying. Definitely the strangest thing Ive ever done.
Click to expand...
 
WillJ said:
But then again, if the Earth will soon go back to slowing down its rotation, does that mean eventually it won't rotate at all and half of Earth will be in perpetual darkness while the other half is in perpetual light, and global water and air currents will litterally dissapear, and the moon will slowly come closer to us, strenthening tides, causing floods in low-lying lands, causing residents to evacuate, forcing them into temporary homes and hotels, raising the demand for car batteries, improving the stocks of such large battery-selling corporations as Energizer and Duracell, giving them such a profit that they'll become rich enough to invest grants into neurological research, eventually learning how to control our minds, making us want to buy more batteries, further worsening the situation by making the companies even wealthier, all the while the moon is slowly heading towards us, and will crash in about half a million years, but before that it'll simply appear huge, which women all over the globe will find sexy, which will cause them to engage in more sex with men, which includes pre-marital sex, meaning more bastard children will be born, further leading to the gradual decline of Western civilization, which will lead Republicans to desperately call for a return to a family-oriented society, further alienating the homosexual community, who are already outraged about frequently being called a "community," after all, it's not like they all live together and know each other, although many do because in most places they're not allowed to marry, so instead of "settling down" they tend to "get around the block," which can spread AIDS, not that I'm suggesting gay people are the cause of the current HIV epidemic, because I don't want to gay-bash, but anyway, the spread of AIDS will cause many people to die, which means less people to put research into anti-moon-coming-closer-to-earth-control devices, which will worsen the moon situation, leading to more batteries, improvement in the hotel industry, severe floods, more bastard children, and an increasing level of AIDS cases, all somehow contributing to worsening the moon situation, oh, and the slowing of the earth's rotation will mean days will be shorter, which will greatly affect work schedules, leading to disgruntled workers, making them want to start a revolution against their oppressors, so then we have that whole communist fiasco all over again, which will lead to the end of the Internet, because "red tyrants" don't want anti-government thoughts quickly spreading from computer to computer, so I won't be able to talk here about the moon and it's effects anymore, and eventually the moon will crash into us and we'll all suffer a horrible death?
Click to expand...

http://forums.civfanatics.com/showpost.php?p=1475270&postcount=3

And most likely the longest sentence in CFC history.
 
stratego said:
In the futrue, there'll be professional toothbrushers. They'll be like intermediate dentists, where you can go to on a weekly or even daily basis, and they'll clean your teeth and floss for you. There won't be any deep cleaning, just basic cleaning, but that'll prevent the teeth from going bad (which would cost a lot to fix). What do you think of this claim? Do you think something like this would become popular in the future?
Click to expand...
http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=94804

stratego said:
With the color coded terror alert, people don't really pay attention to it. And you won't be able to know that it changed if you're asleep. That's why I propose the smell coded terror alert.

Low-Level alerts would smell like fresh baked cookies
Medium Low would smell like microwaved pizza
Medium would smell like burnt toast
Medium high would smell like sour garbage
High would smell like skunk

That way when the alert is at medium high or high people can't just ignore it.
Click to expand...
http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=107390
 
This is certainly too user specific.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

D
Hi gang - it's been awhile 😊
Replies
3
Views
341
raider980
raider980
leif erikson
  • Locked
  • Sticky
Civ VII Forums Notice Board
Replies
0
Views
5K
leif erikson
leif erikson
T
Feature Request – Tech/Civic Selection at Game Setup for More Immersive Gameplay
Replies
1
Views
341
<Nexus>
<Nexus>
Trav'ling Canuck
A thank you to the community as the release of Civ 7 nears
2 3
Replies
40
Views
3K
Thenewwwguy
Thenewwwguy
Laurana Kanan
  • Sticky
Guidelines for Reporting Bugs at Civfanatics
Replies
0
Views
2K
Laurana Kanan
Laurana Kanan
Back
Top Bottom