Quotes 'n' Jokes I

[amirsan]

These are funny quotes and short jokes. Number them I have two to start with. There could be cracks and offensive jokes I guess as long as they are not directed to anyone.

1. Your momma is like the village bycicle; everyone gets a ride.

2. Your girl is like a door knob, everyone gets a turn.

3. Freakin fat women is like a go cart, its good until your friends find out.


ANy others?

 

[Strider]

4) Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
When did you first notice this problem?
What problem?

5)Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework.

6) Yo mamma so ugly when she was born, your mother said, "What a treasure!" and your father said, "Yea lets go bury it".

7) You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.

8) I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.

9) Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he/she isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

 

[Perfection]

Originally posted by Strider
6) Yo mamma so ugly when she was born, your mother said, "What a treasure!" and your father said, "Yea lets go bury it".

What a smart mother!

 

[WillJ]

Originally posted by Strider
5)Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework.

I'll be sure to try that.