Quotes

Thalassicus

Thalassicus

Bytes and Nibblers
Joined
Nov 9, 2005
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Any successful entertainment has action, humor, drama, and so on. It's challenging to have humor in an abstract gods-eye game like Civilization. However! Diplomacy gives us flexibility. I'd like help adding humor to it. :)

I've added amusing quotes by historical persons to diplomacy text in recent weeks, including:

  • Polite greeting between friends:
    "There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full."
    ~ Henry Kissinger
    .
  • Hostile war greeting:
    "The reports of my death were greatly exaggerated."
    ~ Mark Twain
    .
  • Near-death war greeting:
    "I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter."
    ~ Winston Churchill
    .
  • Trade offer:
    "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others."
    ~ Groucho Marx
    .
  • Peace offer while at war:
    "I would never die for my beliefs, because I might be wrong."
    ~ Bertrand Russell
I need help finding more great lines with google searches and quote sites. I would especially like to find quotes to replace these frequently-repeated diplomacy lines:

  • Alliance too soon: I'm sorry, but we haven't known one another for long enough...
  • Denouncement: "It's time I told the world of your sins."
  • Covets land: Your habit of claiming every bit of land...
  • Culture bombed: If you are trying to provoke a war, you're doing a fine job.
  • AI attacks CS nice: I've been informed that my empire has commenced an attack...
  • AI attacks CS hostile: Oops, it seems I've attacked one of your little friends. Care to do something about it?
  • Human attacks CS: Your wanton aggression against {} will not go unpunished...
  • Human kills CS: It seems your word is worth nothing, as your conquest of {@1_MinorCivName} shows...
The game randomly picks from the available choices with multiple possible lines. Sources are not required. Quotes can be from unknown/anonymous sources like "As I said before, I never repeat myself."
 
These could be useful:

We are no longer going to ask for the land, but we are going to take it without negotiating.
-Robert Mugabe

I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.
-Plutarch

I'm a traitor, but I don't consider myself a traitor.
-Aldrich Ames

Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.
-Aristotle

If we had more time for discussion we should probably have made a great many more mistakes.
-Leon Trotsky

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
-Groucho Marx

I'd rather betray the world than let the world betray me.
-Cao Cao

If they want peace, nations should avoid the pin-pricks that precede cannon shots.
-Napoleon Bonaparte

I would remind you that extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice! And let me remind you also that moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.
-Barry Goldwater

What did our nation ever do to provoke these madly vicious enemies? What is seen as injustice in one place is seen as just requital in the other.
-Mary Douglas

I wish you no harm, but it would have been much better if you had never lived.
 
I've enjoyed these additions, and like the new suggestions. My least favorite original one is (more or less) "That deal is fair." Could attitude affect the answer? If not, how about something snappier, like "Done" or "Deal"? Or variations like "We will draw up the agreement."
 
The green flashes look like some sort of subliminal messaging. :crazyeye:

@Txurce
There are four categories of responses to a deal proposal:

  • Accepted generous offer
    Your offer is generous, and I accept.
    I graciously accept.
    I must accept.
  • Accepted acceptable offer
    That deal will work.
    That will do.
    Very well.
  • Rejected unacceptable offer
    I'm afraid I must ask for more in exchange.
    I'm sorry, but that offer is not in my favor.
    That offer is not good enough.
  • Rejected insulting offer
    If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong. (new)
    I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good, either. (new)
    I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this isn't it. Make me a real offer. (new)
 
Thalassicus said:
@Txurce
There are four types of responses to a deal proposal:

  • Generous
  • Acceptable
  • Unacceptable
  • Insulting
Click to expand...

Generous: I will never match such generosity. You have bought yourself our good will.

Acceptable: Done. We have a deal. Let's set a date for the signing ceremony.

Unacceptable (flat and insulting): You'll have to do better than that. Uh uh. No... nein... nyet... How can you offer those terms with a straight face? If you're trying to be amusing, you're failing miserably.

Insulting (after a bad deal for the human): I can hold my nose long enough to sign this. When you learn how to sign your name, we have a deal. That will do - don't let the door hit you on your way out.
 
Insulting: "What part of 'No' don't you understand?"
 
@whoward
That works great for a "repeat" response too, messages which display after 2 rejected proposals. I forgot to list this category because it's in a different place in the file. I'd found two lines to use far, needed a third, and that fits perfectly:

  • As I said before, I never repeat myself. The answer is still no.
  • I like long walks, especially when taken by people who propose ridiculous deals like you.
  • What part of 'No' don't you understand?
After ~5 rejections the other leader starts responding with "..." silence.
 
Here's some other categories of repetitive dialogue we could replace with new humorous & famous quotes:

  • Allied friend
    (Ahhh, I've noticed that you've become friends with {1_CivName}. Glad to hear of it. I'm already on good terms with them myself.)
  • Allied enemy
    (I recommend that you not get too close with {1_CivName}. If so... we might have problems getting along.)
  • Denounced friend
    (I'll have you know that {1_CivName} and I have worked together in the past, and I have the utmost respect for them. Just so you're aware.)
  • Denounced enemy
    (Glad to hear there are others in the world which share my disgust with {1_CivName}. They are clearly not to be trusted.)
 
Thalassicus said:
Here's some other categories of repetitive dialogue we could replace with new humorous lines:

  • Allied friend
    (Ahhh, I've noticed that you've become friends with {1_CivName}. Glad to hear of it. I'm already on good terms with them myself.)
  • Allied enemy
    (I recommend that you not get too close with {1_CivName}. If so... we might have problems getting along.)
  • Denounced friend
    (I'll have you know that {1_CivName} and I have worked together in the past, and I have the utmost respect for them. Just so you're aware.)
  • Denounced enemy
    (Glad to hear there are others in the world which share my disgust with {1_CivName}. They are clearly not to be trusted.)
Click to expand...

Allied friend: Any friend of ... is a friend of mine. Now that you have embraced ..., may we dream of a menage a trois? You, me, and ... - the possibilities are endless.

Allied enemy: We have a saying - the friend of my enemy risks becoming my enemy. Anyone who sleeps with ... wakes up with crabs. You won't make many friends befriending .... Enjoy the state dinner with ... - just count the silverware after they leave.

Denounced friend: Anyone who denounces ... is dead to me. How could you lie so brazenly about ... - have you no decency? Only a lice-ridden barbarian would denounce august .... When you spit in the face of ..., you are spitting into the winds of war.

Denounced enemy: The day is coming when ... is swept into the dustbin of history. Today we slap ....'s face - next year we dance on its grave. I am relieved that someone else is willing to stand up for the honor of defenseless sheep.
 
Just a thought.. but I think you should add one of Gandhi's most famous quotes.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Edit: Actually.. just looked it up. I don't think that's what he actually said but something more along the lines of..

“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. We need not wait to see what others do.”

):
 
Gonna have to agree.

For those of us who know the show (Mainly Brits and Aussies), it's the equivalent of seeing a leader say, when offended by a deal, 'Whachu talkin' bout Willis?'
 
albie_123 said:
Gonna have to agree.

For those of us who know the show (Mainly Brits and Aussies), it's the equivalent of seeing a leader say, when offended by a deal, 'Whachu talkin' bout Willis?'
Click to expand...

Nice analogy. I don't mind having some whimsical and funny quotes to give the leaders some character, but if we're going to use a pop culture reference then it should be something universally appreciated. A very few sources will qualify for that.
 
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