random quotes

"chickarita has gonnaria":shifty:
 
Aragorn: Gentlemen, we do not stop till nightfall.
Pippin: What about breakfast?
Aragorn: You've already had it.
Pippin: We've had one, yes. What about second breakfast?
Merry: I don't think he knows about second breakfast, Pip.
Pippin: What about elevenses? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them, doesn't he?
Merry: I wouldn't count on it.

--LoTR
 
"Oh wait, you're serious. Let me laugh even harder." - Bender
 
"I don't care what you use or how you use it; just sink the Bismarck!"
Sir Winston Churchill​

"Go crazy?! Don't mind-if-I-do!!"
Homer Simpson​

"We're still flying half a ship!"
Obi-Wan Kenobi​

"I have no enemies. France has enemies."
Cardinal Reichlieu​

"When in trouble,
When in doubt,
Run in circles,
Scream and shout!"
Captain Sam Starfall and Helix the robot​
 
"I don't trust that doctor. I bet I've lost more patients than he's even treated." - Dr. Zoidberg
 
"I'm starting to think some of you aren't even real people" -- Zarn
"just give croxis a pet, and you might get quoted" -- stickciv
 
"Pathetic humans! Prepare to write down the recipe!" - Morbo (Futurama)
 
Some from Pulp Fiction

Jules: The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.


Butch: Will you hand me a towel, tulip?
Fabienne: Ah, I like that. I like tulip. Tulip is much better than mongoloid.


Jules: Mmmm! Goddamn, Jimmie! This is some serious gourmet ****! Usually, me and Vince would be happy with some freeze-dried Taster's Choice, but he springs this serious GOURMET **** on us! What flavor is this?
Jimmie: Knock it off, Jules.
Jules: [pause] What?
Jimmie: I don't need you to tell me how ****ing good my coffee is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys ****. Me, I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I want to taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now? It AIN'T the coffee in my kitchen, it's the dead ****** in my garage.
Jules: Oh, Jimmie, don't even worry about that...
Jimmie: No, let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you see a sign out in front of my house that said Dead ****** Storage?
Jules: Jimmie, you know I ain't seen no...
Jimmie: Did you see a sign out in front of my house that said Dead ****** Storage?
Jules: [pause] No. I didn't.
Jimmie: You know WHY you didn't see that sign?
Jules: Why?
Jimmie: 'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead n*****s ain't my ****ing business, that's why!
 
From Apocalypse Now,

Kilgore: I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like... victory.

Kurtz: I've seen horrors... horrors that you've seen. But you have no right to call me a murderer. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that... but you have no right to judge me. It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror. Horror has a face... and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies. I remember when I was with Special Forces. Seems a thousand centuries ago. We went into a camp to inoculate the children. We left the camp after we had inoculated the children for Polio, and this old man came running after us and he was crying. He couldn't see. We went back there and they had come and hacked off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile. A pile of little arms. And I remember... I... I... I cried. I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget. And then I realized... like I was shot... like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought: My God... the genius of that. The genius. The will to do that. Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized they were stronger than we. Because they could stand that these were not monsters. These were men... trained cadres. These men who fought with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled with love... but they had the strength... the strength... to do that. If I had ten divisions of those men our troubles here would be over very quickly. You have to have men who are moral... and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to kill without feeling... without passion... without judgment... without judgment. Because it's judgment that defeats us.

Kilgore: Charlie don't surf!

And on a lighter note, American Pie II

Jim's Dad: Your opinion of his taste in video rentals is not a priority lady. Ok? It's at the bottom of the totem pole. My son is sitting here right now with his hand glued to his penis, but that doesn't mean anything to you does it? Because you dont have a penis. Or maybe you do?
 
"Oh Marge, anyone can miss Canada, all tucked away down there" - Homer Simpsons, geographic expert
 
"D'OH!! What kind of genius put a prison on an island??"
Homer Simpson, jailbird​

"Dad, what's a Muppet?"
"Well, it's not quite a mop, and it's not quite a puppet, but maaahaahaann...hahaheeheehee... So, to answer your question I don't know."
Lisa and Homer Simpson, the Henson expert​

"My bologna has a first name, it's H-O-M-E-R, my bologna has a second name it's H-O-M-E-R..."
Homer Simpson, professional shower singer​
 
"Friends! Help! A guinea pig tricked me!" Dr. Zoidberg, gullible crustacean
 
A conversation a little bit earlier in #civfanatics chat room

<Bill3000> I win
<Subi> and the prize is a night with MjM
<Bill3000> YES
<MjM> indeed
* MjM undresses
* Bill3000 takes off his pants
<Subi> oh great, #civfanatics just turned into a sex chat room
<Bill3000> haha
<Bill3000> wait
<Bill3000> MjM is underage
<Bill3000> eek
* Bill3000 runs away
<stickciv> take it to another room then
<Subi> Bill3000 is a pedophile! I better go alert the forums!
 
Jeremy Clarkson: Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It's like making a hard core adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You'd just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke's sweaty face.

Jeremy Clarkson: [about Porsche Cayman S] There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

Jeremy Clarkson: [When driving the McLaren Mercedes SLR through a tunnel] When they debate as to what the sound of the SLK engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said "Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!" They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.

Jeremy Clarkson: [while playing the video game Gran Turismo] Aston Martin DB9, that's not a racecar, that's pornography.
 
Just in from our OT reporter Masquerouge:

I must admit the idea of condensing both religious threads and teen advice ones into one is... interesting.
"God, why can't I get laid?"
 
"Duffman thrusting in the direction of the problem!" - Duffman
 
"I would prefer not to." --Bartleby the Scrivener
 
Back
Top Bottom