Seen in another forum (I think):
"What's with all these ads for laser hair removal? If I had laser hair I would want to keep it."
"What's with all these ads for laser hair removal? If I had laser hair I would want to keep it."
random quotes
- Thread starter kristopherb
- Start date
SuperBeaverInc.
Groucho
"My plan to promote Dog River is working. An American tourist came here accidentally." - Mayor Fitzy Fitzergerald, mayor of Dog River on the show Corner Gas.
"I think animal testing is a terrible idea. Oh yes, they get all nervous and give silly answers." --a vox pop on A Bit Of Fry And Laurie.
"Is God an Englishman? Well, that's a tricky one. Theologians are pretty much undecided, but I think it's universally accepted that He isn't Welsh." --another.
"Is God an Englishman? Well, that's a tricky one. Theologians are pretty much undecided, but I think it's universally accepted that He isn't Welsh." --another.
Bartleby
Remembers laughter
It was also my very first sig when I joined here.
edit:
QUOTATION, n.
The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. The words erroneously repeated.
--Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
PrinceOfLeigh
Wigan, England
Muhammad Ali: Last night I hit the light in the bedroom and was in the bed before the room went dark.
Muhammad Ali: Rivers, ponds, lakes and streams - they all have different names, but they all contain water. Just as religions do - they all contain truths.
Muhammad Ali: Rivers, ponds, lakes and streams - they all have different names, but they all contain water. Just as religions do - they all contain truths.
SuperBeaverInc.
Groucho
Emma: You're going to the doctor.
Oscar: Over my dead body!
Emma: That'd speed things up.
Oscar: Over my dead body!
Emma: That'd speed things up.
Swedishguy
Deity
Tourists don't eat yellow snow.
SuperBeaverInc.
Groucho
Karen: How stupid are you? You can't just fire your gun off willy-nilly!
Davis: It wasn't willy-nilly, it was at crows
Davis: It wasn't willy-nilly, it was at crows
SuperBeaverInc.
Groucho
Brent: Want me to fill it up?
Man: Sure. You know I've never driven across Saskatchewan before.
Brent: Well, you still haven't really. About halfway to go yet.
Man: Sure is flat.
Brent: How do you mean?
Man: You know, flat. Nothing to see.
Brent: What do you mean, like topographically? Hey Hank, this guy says Saskatchewan is flat.
Hank: How do you mean?
Brent: Topographically I guess. He says there's nothin' to see.
Hank: There's lots to see. There's nothin' to block your view.
Brent: There's lots to see. Nothin' to block your view. Like the mountains back there. They're uh... Well, what the hell? I could've sworn there was a big mountain range back there. Juttin' up into the sky all purple and majestic. I must be thinkin' of a postcard I saw or somethin'. Hey, it is kinda flat, thanks for pointin' that out.
Man: You guys always this sarcastic?
Brent: There's nothin' else to do.
Man: Sure. You know I've never driven across Saskatchewan before.
Brent: Well, you still haven't really. About halfway to go yet.
Man: Sure is flat.
Brent: How do you mean?
Man: You know, flat. Nothing to see.
Brent: What do you mean, like topographically? Hey Hank, this guy says Saskatchewan is flat.
Hank: How do you mean?
Brent: Topographically I guess. He says there's nothin' to see.
Hank: There's lots to see. There's nothin' to block your view.
Brent: There's lots to see. Nothin' to block your view. Like the mountains back there. They're uh... Well, what the hell? I could've sworn there was a big mountain range back there. Juttin' up into the sky all purple and majestic. I must be thinkin' of a postcard I saw or somethin'. Hey, it is kinda flat, thanks for pointin' that out.
Man: You guys always this sarcastic?
Brent: There's nothin' else to do.
Swedishguy
Deity
''A big step for man, but a small step for me!''
Or was it the other way around?
Or was it the other way around?
PrinceOfLeigh
Wigan, England
"Celebacy is a hands on Job" - Ghost: Enter The Matrix
Sophie 378
Avvie by ybbor
Babbler: When you have a castle in the sky, no shift in the ground can bother you."
In response to "are you afraid of getting old?"
Quasar1011: No. I'm more afraid of waking up with a moose in my bed.
In response to "are you afraid of getting old?"
Quasar1011: No. I'm more afraid of waking up with a moose in my bed.
SuperBeaverInc.
Groucho
Hank: Hey, Davis just gave me a parking ticket.
Wanda: Yeah, he gave me on too, and I'm parked in the parking lot.
Hank: Yeah, well I wasn't even parked. I was stopped at a stop sign, he came running out from behind a bush.
Wanda: Yeah, he gave me on too, and I'm parked in the parking lot.
Hank: Yeah, well I wasn't even parked. I was stopped at a stop sign, he came running out from behind a bush.
PrinceOfLeigh
Wigan, England
Jimmy Carr: When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in Mexico last summer, I was listening to Michael Bolton.
Jimmy Carr: My Girlfriend asked me if I'd been having sex behind her back. Yes! Who did you think it was? Check next time.
Jimmy Carr: My Girlfriend asked me if I'd been having sex behind her back. Yes! Who did you think it was? Check next time.
Swedishguy
Deity
''I used to be a mad veterinarian, but then I found out the big money was world-conquering evil plots, hehe!''
-Otis Ganglion
-Otis Ganglion
SuperBeaverInc.
Groucho
Man pulls into a gas station
Brent: Morning, want me to fill it up?
Marvin: Do you work here?
Brent: It'd be a pretty weird hobby.
Brent: Morning, want me to fill it up?
Marvin: Do you work here?
Brent: It'd be a pretty weird hobby.
Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
"Keeping us up here eats away at families. Marriages suffer. The Democrats could care less about families, that's what this says!"
"An invisible assailant OR did I just interview the wrong person? You, the VIEWER, decide!!"
"I like Mr. Gorbachev - we can do business together."
"The more time passes, the more I am sorry about it. We did not learn enough from the mission to justify the death of the dog."
Jack Kingston, on the new 5-day-a-week congress schedule
"An invisible assailant OR did I just interview the wrong person? You, the VIEWER, decide!!"
Mike the T.V.
"I like Mr. Gorbachev - we can do business together."
Margaret Thatcher
"The more time passes, the more I am sorry about it. We did not learn enough from the mission to justify the death of the dog."
Oleg Gazenko, on Laika and Sputnik 2
PrinceOfLeigh
Wigan, England
Ricky Gervais: “Pol Pot - he rounded up anybody he thought was intellectual and had them executed. And how he told someone was intellectual or not was whether they wore glasses. If they're that clever, take them off when they see him coming!”
Ricky Gervais: "I suppose I grew up wishing I was an American Jew for the comedy and the one-liners. Or actress who does a Holocaust movie because, as she explains, it's a surefire way to finally win an Oscar."
Ricky Gervais: "I suppose I grew up wishing I was an American Jew for the comedy and the one-liners. Or actress who does a Holocaust movie because, as she explains, it's a surefire way to finally win an Oscar."
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