Random Rants 4: Keep Complaining

[Squarg]

I hate it when I'm sick its sooo boring to stay out of school all day with nothing to do.

 

[LucyDuke]

Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew.

Bakery pizza =

Sauce with huge chunks of slimy cold tomato =

Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew.

This ruins lunch.

 

[The Yankee]

Bakery pizza?

 

[LucyDuke]

Argh! Damned foreigners never know what bakery pizza is! YOU'RE MISSING OUT, BUDDY!

http://www.quahog.org/cuisine/#pizza

 

[The Yankee]

So...square/Sicilian pizza. Yep, we've got that! Probably different though, since these all seem to be bakeries rather than straight-up pizzerias. You'll just have to UPS a slice down here.

 

[Leonel]

I've seen bakery pizza in the 'atmospheric' bakeries in Hong Kong. They're tiny though.

 

[LucyDuke]

Rant #3... No, it's not Sicilian pizza. It's bakery pizza. It's Rhode Island food. It's delicious. It's special. Your freaky New York pizza is not the same thing!

Here. I have never been able to find a photograph of it on the internets, so I took one! This is a picture of my lunch! Except I'm not eating it, because I found out in the first strip that Crugnale's uses the goddamn nasty chunky tomato sauce. One of the guys I work with just ate it. He said it was yummy. If it didn't have nasty slimy tomato chunks I would agree.

Spoiler :

 

[The Yankee]

It looks like a couple of Sicilian slices to me, but given the bag, I'll concede it's gotta be different somewhere! But you New England types are just strange.

(Could be worse, it could be that pizzeria here in Brooklyn that everyone says is the best but the slices are now $4 a pop.)

But this is why you need to use UPS or Acela to bring me some. All I've got is Papa John's pizza since they're the only ones that would take a card around here. Meh......

 

[LucyDuke]

It looks like a couple of Sicilian slices to me, but given the bag, I'll concede it's gotta be different somewhere! But you New England types are just strange.

(Could be worse, it could be that pizzeria here in Brooklyn that everyone says is the best but the slices are now $4 a pop.)

http://images.google.com/images?q=sicilian+pizza

Sicilian's got cheese and stuff? Bakery pizza with cheese or stuff ain't bakery pizza. These'll go for anything from 3/$1 to $2, depending more on where you buy it than what it's made of. It's cheapest at the bakery, and relatively expensive at kwik-e-marts. The most variation is in the sauce. Some of the sauces are really pasty and don't have nasty slimy chunks of cold tomato (the good ones), some of 'em have chunks or more spice. They're basically the same, though. We don't put up with weird changes to our pizza strips.

I bet you foreigners think coffee milk is coffee with milk in it, too, dontcha?

 

[The Yankee]

No cheese...you're not living on the EXTREME!!!

I wouldn't doubt that one of the 293467192347913847293847298347 pizzerias here would have something like this.

 

[Rossiya]

This is rather spammish. Cut out the spam, guys. We are here to rant, not to talk about Italian cuisine. The mods would NOT like this.

 

[The Yankee]

Speaking of pizza, ever since Domino's came out with their "Brooklyn" style pizza, I've been wanting to wage a crusade against them.

link

‘Brooklyn Style Pizza’ Meets the Real Deal

By KIM SEVERSON
Published: November 8, 2006

IT took no small amount of courage to walk into one of the great Brooklyn pizzerias with a Domino’s Brooklyn Style Pizza in our hands.

Domino’s, which began selling Brooklyn Style pies at its 5,100 United States stores last week, designed the pizza to mimic what most New Yorkers get when they go for a slice. The crust is stretched thinner than that of a standard Domino’s pizza, and the cornmeal cooked into the crust gives it certain crispness. The pieces of pepperoni and wads of sausage the company suggests as toppings are freakishly large.

...

The slices are so big you can fold them, which, it seems, is the Brooklyn-y part.

Tony Muia, who runs A Slice of Brooklyn Pizza Tour, said the first problem with the Domino’s pie is that it’s cut into six slices instead of eight.

And he doesn’t like the cornmeal. “O.K., so you put cornmeal on the bottom of your pizza. So what?” he said. “You go back to Naples, there’s flour on the board.”

Still, any time Brooklyn gets a nod, that’s not a bad thing. “But anyone in the Midwest who thinks this is real Brooklyn is getting fooled,” he said.

That’s the basic message from Mrs. Ciminieri at Totonno’s, who was finally persuaded to taste a Domino’s slice in the name of research.

“In Utah, they’re going to love it because they use ketchup and American cheese on their pizzas,” she said. “It tastes like any other pizza you get at the corner slice joint. They used the same tomatoes, the same processed cheese, the same preservatives.”

Domino’s uses its standard sauce and a blend of mozzarella and provolone on the Brooklyn Style Pizza. At most slice stores in Brooklyn, you won’t find cornmeal on the crust, and the cheese is usually a blend of shredded part skim and whole milk mozzarella. The typical sauce is usually not as sweet as Domino’s, but it doesn’t compare with Totonno’s.

Totonno’s uses unadulterated tomato sauce and thin slices of fresh mozzarella hand-pulled with just a little salt in it, and a dusting of pecorino-Romano cheese.

The Domino’s pizza has an oddly sweet crust that somehow manages to blend the characteristics of cotton and rubber.

Totonno’s dough is made fresh the day it’s baked and is never refrigerated. The result is crust that blisters nicely in the coal-fired oven. It has an airy chew, and it cracks a little when you fold the slice.

I can't stand seeing their commercials about "Brawklyn sty-ul pizz-uh" running in Brooklyn! It makes me outraged at this poor substitute!

Then again, the other thing that also grinds my gears is how the Brooklyn Borough President has the time to have outrage over anything Brooklyn.

That kind of imagery just grinds at Marty Markowitz, the Brooklyn borough president.

“It’s a multinational right-wing company, mass marketing the Brooklyn attitude with obsolete ethnic stereotypes, not to mention flimsy crusts,” he said through a spokesman.

Mr. Markowitz has yet to taste the Domino’s pizza. But that didn’t stop him from offering an opinion: “To our sophisticated palates, Domino’s is about as Brooklyn as Sara Lee Cheesecake is Junior’s.”

The right-wing reference is to Domino’s founder, Thomas S. Monaghan, who sold the company in 1998. He has supported the anti-abortion organization Operation Rescue and earlier this year announced his intention to build a town called Ave Maria in Florida based on strict Roman Catholic principles.

I want his job. $160,000 a year to be head cheerleader.

Domino's is on the left, Totonni's on the right.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

That’s the basic message from Mrs. Ciminieri at Totonno’s, who was finally persuaded to taste a Domino’s slice in the name of research.

“In Utah, they’re going to love it because they use ketchup and American cheese on their pizzas,” she said. “It tastes like any other pizza you get at the corner slice joint. They used the same tomatoes, the same processed cheese, the same preservatives.”

Those wacky Utahns!

(I assume she is actually an expert in American pizza styles and not just looking down on other people for not being from New York City.)

 

[The Yankee]

Probably the latter. We seem to get really touchy about pizza. Which is fine...to a sane, rational extent.

 

[Love]

I hate wednesdays

 

[D'Artagnan59]

Mine:

Gym today was bullcrap (when I'm listening to Feuer Frei by Rammstein while furiously typing, you know that I'm going to be furious).

So, here's the story: Me, two of my friends(Friend A and Friend B), and Friend A's friend that I decided to make an acquaintance with (Friend E) formed a team. After it, we decided to go to another basket. Seeing my friends and I go over to the basket, Friends C and D come and we play a 3-on-3 match (the rules are 4-on-4, but we decided that there were enough players). We see three people just standing. As soon as the gym teacher comes over, she calls all of us over and starts lecturing us on participation. As soon as this happens, Friend B asks us if our 3-on-3 match was why we were called out here. She said it was alright. We were called over because of it.

And after we're dismissed, she picks our teams for us and supervises us playing like we all were doing nothing, but only the three girls were talking. After, we get another chewing-out.

Now, what I'm more concerned about is my grade. Some of the grade is based on participation. One false move, it's a B for you. Goodbye High Honors.

In fact, I'm protesting it. If my grade's dropped, then I write a polite but brusque email saying that I want my grade up to its normal level (no mistakes, so an A) and a formal apology. That's my minimum for now. If it isn't met, then hello school board. If THESE aren't met, then I go to the local paper and write an editorial in the newspaper. If you reply and it goes to the editorial step, then I'll reference some of your opinions in that editorial.

Feel free to state your opinion.

 

[LucyDuke]

Mine:

Gym today was bullcrap

...

If THESE aren't met, then I go to the local paper and write an editorial in the newspaper. If you reply and it goes to the editorial step, then I'll reference some of your opinions in that editorial.

Feel free to state your opinion.

Is the local paper really going to give a crap about some kid getting a B in gym class, and what internet people thought about it?

 

[D'Artagnan59]

Maybe.

Maybe it's completely ridiculous. Maybe not.

It's about getting punished for no reason/collective punishment, not "BAWWW!!! I CN'AT GET A A!!!!" (intentional misspelling)

 

[Ansar]

Online courses have never-ending homework .

 

[Arwon]

Man, there sure are a lot of cranky mean-spirited bastards on the internets.