Random Rants

[hossam]

1] Last time I checked remaining a virgin until marriage was a good thing..but that is just my opinion.

2] If you start doing physical activities your sleeping schedule will most likely go back to normal and if you aren't eating properly you'll at least start eating the right amount of meals each day which will eventually progress into eating 3 healthy meals a day if you aren't already doing so. Main point here: Physical activity will get your life back on track...or at least your physical life.

yes virginity is a good thing ,i hope you realize im guy?, but my pants is about to explode.

 

[Tabasco Sauce]

I hate the MTA. It is a state sponsored monopoly that helps the big wigs and hurts the people. It provides crappy service in comparison to the rest of the nation and the cost for a fare is ridiculous. Yankee, you know what I mean ;-)

 

[Firstlady]

yes virginity is a good thing ,i hope you realize im guy?, but my pants is about to explode.

I assume all the players on here are guys unless I'm given reason to believe otherwise, so I do realize you are a guy. Then you better get a new pair of pants. Exploding pants can be potentially painful.

 

[MadScotsMan]

random rant page? Yippie! I lost my civ disc when mom decided that the computer area was too dirty. I have nothing to do but sit here and wait for Perfection to say something to my last post. And I'm out of cigarettes and weed and dont feel like wasting my money so I bought some gas for the car instead! Waa boo hoo me self pity time wo0t

 

[Prince_Imrahil]

Ok, well, I really don't have any friends that I divulge personal things to (because why bother them with my problems) so I have no where else to turn, and I've been ranting to myself all this time and it doesn't seem to work, I guess everyone does need to vent sometimes. I do not expect anyone to read this, its going to be uber long and pointless and probably emo, (no its not about a girl though) but I just have to get it out. Sorry for taking up the space.


I just don't know how to vent, to express my feelings, to say what I mean... but only concerning one matter, my family. And its the fact that its towards them that I can't do these things that is troubling me. Because basically I have alienated myself from them, and its my fault, not theirs. Basically there are MANY things about my family that is just screwed up, and not in that comical dysfunctional television family way, but actually messed up for a lot of reasons.

My problem is two-fold... I resent many things about most of the people in my family, their attitudes, outlooks, ignorance on certain things, naivety to how messed up things are, petty squabbles over petty matters that make things worse, inablity to communicate with eachother (ooh hey thats my problem too!) the single parent doing a poor job of parenting (yes yes hes a single parent and all trying to make ends meet for a bunch of kids but, some of his decisions are just stupid, he is unaware of many problems of his kids, or ignorant about them (schooling, dental hygiene, education, other stuff, etc etc) and doesnt know how to deal with/communicate with a few of the older kids in their ignorant rebellious teen years

(the thing is its not just rebeling for the sake of doing so, its doing things they feel they ought to be doing without parental interference (nothing stupid like drugs etc just the going out, buying certain things, joining certain things thing) and also because they disapprove of said parents performance or whatever and thus tend to get confrontational in a mouthy but never helpful manner which just causes more problems, though both the kids and the parent feel that they have the best intentions for the family as a whole in mind....

lots of disrespect towards said parent, and the younger kids also notice this disrespect and resent the older kids for having it, though they too tend to be unhappy with their not so fortunate lot in life, and thus also feel helpless/hopeless... lots of fights and arguments because their resentment towards the older rebelling kids who disrespect the parent makes them tend to not respect the older kids and view them as trying to boss them around/be controlling/mistreating them because the older kids also are bad at the sibling thing, doing a lot yelling/ordering around their younger siblings and a whole lot of not treating anyone with respect pretty much going out.

(the olders still in the house are no older than 18, the youngers 5 and up.... yes yes theres six kids total in this messed up family, so much for the parents planning on how they were going about this whole family thing... gees if you want to have a bunch of kids try to get your act together first, and hell what about staying together too and working through your problems, now you go and force the product of your overactive unproctected ill-planned sex drive to deal with your problems)

...sigh and there's some of my resentment right there but the thing is I dont completely feel that way about my family, I realize how hard the single parent(my dad) has it and that its not all his fault and that he actually is trying his best to make it through all this, but I dunno, is it that I feel that hes trying in all the wrong ways? and I'm no help, I don't know what the right ways are, the other kids are no help.... but mostly I know its that I resent myself...

because here I am, the second oldest, living with the oldest of the kids, leaving those younger ones in that mess I just kinda sorta described, doing alright for myself because I have a job that can allow me to support and take of Myself.... I dont make enough to help out back home even though the parents efforts to make ends meet are just barely making them meet, and the older sis here doesnt either, but I also resent her because she doesnt seem to think or realize that things are as bad as they are, and also ran off on her own out here because she didnt agree with certain things about the parent

(petty arguments about her thinking she knew better in this and that about raising the kids, which while well-intentioned were just naive ideas) and now I too am living with her, because they always went on about me getting a job to help out, and so I did, and did my best to help out at first, but i was working so far away that commuting to work was hell and sometimes i wasnt able to be picked up by the parent because it was too much of a hassle for him, which led me to having to on a few occasions just sleep out under the stars and work the next day, which led me to just being fed up, but also promoted even furhter away, which caused me to move out to follow that bigger paycheque and guess what, allow Myself to live just fine on my own...

while the family I just pretty much have completely abandoned to their ongoing struggle... the parent still working as much as he can to put food on their table while other things go down the drain.... but the worst thing is that he and nobody knows that I feel this way/see things like this and he tries to keep in touch/stay connected keep me a part of the family so to speak by visiting when he can/taking me out to dinner/movie father son stuff whatever but however I have a problem communicating with him (or even my sis who I live with or my siblings back at home) about Anything at all!

It's because I have all this on my mind when I'm around them and yet I can't get it out, talk about, say anything becasue I don't know what to say about it, and i cant talk about anything else when all that is on my mind, even just shoot the breeze, talk casual be happy and normal and just talk nonsense... instead im always just silent/brooding non-commital and hardly say anything, mostly just short and simple relies or comments or whatever...

my family tries and wants to have conversation with me about normal things like their day, current events, whatever but it never happens, and I realize that its My fault, that Im the one preventing us from communicating, because I cant communicate with them about these small matters when these issues are always in my mind when im with them, and I realize I dont know how to bring up, talk about or what to say about these issues... because it'd make them uncomfortable perhaps, or they wouldnt get it, itd get heated and we'd all get angry for failing to see the others point of view and nothing would come of it, but more problems, but really because I dont know how or what to say, and so thus I'm always resentful/angry/brooding whenever i'm around/with my family and all its doing is alienating me from them, which i know my dad doesnt want, my siblings neither, and i'd prefer if we were a closer knit family but i dont know how to overcome my problem. I also hate the fact that I could easily and happily live by myself without them, away from them, alienated from them, enjoying my life on my own, leaving them to struggle on their own without me....

I can do that but I dont want to, and yet I'm unable to bring myself to open up/communicate with them. I dont even know what it is i want to communicate to them about! I'm just in a messed up way and its been like this for a good few years now and ive always kept it to myself, but after yet another day out with my dad I just needed to get it out, even though here is not where it should be coming out. Again I apologize for all this but thats pretty much the only signifigant thing i have to rant about, its the rant of my life. A novel i know and not what you cared to read about if amazingly you just read all that, sorry for the trouble.

 

[GenMarshall]

Logic and Reasoning, TOO dang hard!

 

[Firstlady]

I hate living in the space between child and adult. I hate being a teenager, and more specifically a teenage girl.

The mood swings, body changing...good grief someone please spare me the six or more years of "misery". I'm sure it really isn't that bad and that this whole thing is probably ridiculous and for all I know I'm just having another mood swing but seriously..when does the madness end? When do you begin to grow out of this stage?

I've got one year left before I go to college and move out on my own and I feel like I'm nowhere near ready. I can't drive, I've never had a job, and I'll be REALLY lucky to get into college with my crappy SAT scores, average GPA, and lack of any extra curricular activies that make me stand out. I feel like I have nothing going for me.

And being the girlfriend of a perfect at everything genius just doesn't help. He's the: eagle scout, boys state, good at everything he does, high SAT scoring, drum major, first chair saxophone, guitarist, really good singer, too smart for his own freaking good person. Most of the time his perfectness at absolutely everything he does doesn't bother me too much but now that it feels like it is constantly being shoved in my face all the time I want to scream. But I'll be completely over it by tomorrow. And within the next week or two it'll be back.

Why does it matter if he's better than me at everything? Why does it bother me so much? Why can't I be like everyone else and love him and be happy for him anyway and think he's amazing? I just can't do it. I hate him for being so much better than I'll ever be...which makes me the bad person because I don't know how much longer I can take it.

Alright, I'm finished ranting about random stupid things now.

 

[Prince_Imrahil]

@Illusionist

Heh, sounds like that rant you had awhile back that we talked about! Guess it comes and goes, eh?

 

[Gr3yL3gion]

I hate that I have feelings, I shouldn't have any feelings for anyone.

 

[The Yankee]

You would think, as a registered Democrat, that I would have an easier time tolerating lactose. But tonight, for some reason, I have become a very intolerant person. Which explains why I'm haunting OT at 4 AM.

Now back to your regularly-scheduled meal. Enjoy!

 

[The Yankee]

I hate the MTA. It is a state sponsored monopoly that helps the big wigs and hurts the people. It provides crappy service in comparison to the rest of the nation and the cost for a fare is ridiculous. Yankee, you know what I mean ;-)

The cost for a fare could be worse (though the express bus fare hikes from $3 to $5 in only a few years really hurt my wallet)...but I agree that the current state of affairs, though much better than it was in 1990, is the result of the state government shafting us and the deals and corrupt bigwigs placed in the MTA.

Don't even get me started about that strike....

I hate Roger Toussaint. I hate Peter Kalikow (thankfully, he's no longer in charge).

 

[Firstlady]

@Illusionist

Heh, sounds like that rant you had awhile back that we talked about! Guess it comes and goes, eh?

Pretty much.

 

[The Yankee]

\
I've got one year left before I go to college and move out on my own and I feel like I'm nowhere near ready. I can't drive, I've never had a job, and I'll be REALLY lucky to get into college with my crappy SAT scores, average GPA, and lack of any extra curricular activies that make me stand out. I feel like I have nothing going for me.

I've got no clue about all the other stuff since I'm a) not a teenage girl and b) not with a perfect boyfriend, but cheer up and know that you can still do pretty well in a college even with those setbacks. You may have to go to a community college first then into a four-year program, but it's a chance to actually learn and think independently. Trust me, it does wonders and the grades fall into place as well.

 

[Firstlady]

I've got no clue about all the other stuff since I'm a) not a teenage girl and b) not with a perfect boyfriend, but cheer up and know that you can still do pretty well in a college even with those setbacks. You may have to go to a community college first then into a four-year program, but it's a chance to actually learn and think independently. Trust me, it does wonders and the grades fall into place as well.

Grades aren't really the problem. For the most part I now get straight A's...but I didn't try in math my freshman year and got C's so it lowered my GPA. Now I'm at the point where getting straight A's barely raises my GPA anymore. The only thing I've never been able to do is get high marks on any standardized test....which is pretty important for college.

Community college...it's just not exactly what I want. I know it would probably be the smart thing to do seeing as my dad suggested it as well but a lot of teachers have told me it's like going backwards.

 

[The Yankee]

At least in community college, you can get most of those basic courses out of the way. I'm sure someone here that's actually gone to community can better shine a light on it, but I've known several people that went that route because of poor SAT/ACT scores.

Take my own profile for instance. My high school average was the equivalent of about a 2.2 GPA on the 4.0 scale, I had a 29 composite on the ACT, and a 1270 on the old style SAT. The standardized test scores gave me a leg up on all the others looking for those last seats into college, perhaps.

However, since the classes at my college are far better in quality and I'm more interested in them, my current GPA is 3.64. Even though I've had a couple of weak classes dragging it down a little (calculus and accounting).

I don't know you, but from the posts I've read from you so far, you seem quite capable of managing the same thing, if not better. It just may take a path different than one you imagined. For me, that meant a fifth year at college since circumstances meant I had to push back some courses, which pushed back others, and so on. And loans...endless loans...

For you, it may be getting the Associate's first, doing very well there, and launching yourself into a college. But it's all possible.

 

[GenMarshall]

You're not the only one who is going through the low GPA blues. I have a low GPA in college with no prospects of going into Grad School.

 

[The Yankee]

You're not the only one who is going through the low GPA blues. I have a low GPA in college with no prospects of going into Grad School.

Your chances of getting into graduate school would likely increase a lot more once you have some years of work under your belt and you do well on whatever standardized test may be required/preferred.

There's still my MBA/Graduate School thread somewhere on OT if you want to pitch some questions to the crowd.

Edit: Aha!

 

[Chieftess]

One way to raise your GPA is to stop posting and start studying.
(Unless you take courses at 1am-5am in the morning, you should be sleeping those hours)

 

[Atlas14]

Grades aren't really the problem. For the most part I now get straight A's...but I didn't try in math my freshman year and got C's so it lowered my GPA. Now I'm at the point where getting straight A's barely raises my GPA anymore. The only thing I've never been able to do is get high marks on any standardized test....which is pretty important for college.

Community college...it's just not exactly what I want. I know it would probably be the smart thing to do seeing as my dad suggested it as well but a lot of teachers have told me it's like going backwards.

Community college could be a smart, economical option depending on what you are attempting to major in. Any science/math degree I would not reccommend going there. Also it depends what kind of school you're trying to get into. Liberal arts or not liberal arts? If liberal arts, CC wouldn't be bad to get basic level bs classes out of the way at an affordable cost. However, be aware that certain courses may not transfer to your college of choice, make sure that they do before you take them.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

There is nothing shameful about community college, after all. You save some money that way, and you will probably end up doing better anyways.

And he likes you, doesn't he? He is probably thinking the same thing (or if he is so smart, at least says he is . . .)