• Civilization 7 has been announced. For more info please check the forum here .

Revenge of the Nerds: An Amurite Story

By the way, I am still taking suggestions for what civ/leader I should write my next AAR about. Once I am done chronicling Dain's high school clique drama writ-large, I will tally all the suggestions I receive here and in the Industry and Isolation thread and go with whichever has been the most common and/or sounds the coolest.

Suggestions should include a civ (possibly even a specific leader, though no unrestricted leaders combinations unless you have a very, VERY compelling reason), FFH or Fall Further and a restriction or two to make it interesting. Note that I will always attempt to roleplay the civ above and beyond what the restrictions enforce; I'm nerdy like that.
 
Sheaim. I'll not cease my incessant pestering until I've seen you destroy the planet, joking about Yersinia's smell and Buboes' table manners while doing so.
 
It goes against your FF or FFH2... but here's what I think you should try.

Mod: Orbis
Civ: Lanuan
Leader: Laggs Nyr

Laggs is a dwarf (or at least, thats what his picture looks like), and a minor leader. His traits are aggressive, magic resistant, minor, and ingenious.

Map should have lots of water and lots of hills. Try to build as many cities as possible on the water (not going to say all your cities, in case you do something like pangea, but if you have the option, go next to the water even if it looses you some resources), and as much as possible near hills. For gameplay, go octopus overlords and runes of kilmorph, then spend the game switching back and forth between them. Altar of the lunnotar victory would be nice (play as overlords, get some great prophits, the people of kilmorph rise up, overthrow the overlords, and sacrifice the great prophits on the altar. Later, the people of the overlords rise up and overthrow the people of kilmorph. Laggs takes it all in stride, considering what an insane meglomaniac he is - just look at his picture and you'll see).

I've been trying to do this one as well, and if you end up on an island all to yourself you should probably start over as it will be too easy. My major problem has been in the writing of it - just can't seem to get it down without throwing the story out. Gameplay wise, the Lanuan get a pretty major advantage at sea. If you want to further restrict yourself, you can try only using the religious units (solders of kilmorph/drown), or only use melee units (not quite as OP as in FFH - archers reaaaly got a big boost, and mithril is only +3 strength instead of +4). However, I think that constantly switching back and forth between OO and RoK (at least once every 50 turns) would impose a big enough restriction.

-Colin
 
Since these are humorous tales, Perpy will feature somehow, someday I am sure, I can be patient!
 
I started this last night. FF, Perfect World 2 map, Advanced Start, No Tech Brokering, Aggresive AI, Barbarian World, Living World, Wildlands, Small size with 6 total civs (which may actually make it very difficult to win in the long run. The towers are harder to build in FF).

I'll write up a detailed report farther down the road, but I managed to catch a break by having a barbarian city right outside my borders. They sent a steady stream of single warriors after my city, which allowed my starting warrior to beef up a bit and easily hold the town until my culture absorbed the barbarian town. Adepts are actually decent fighters when you give them combat promotions (the free XP gain makes it easy to get Combat III). I had them out clearing out lairs, dealing with orcs and exploring dungeons. Luckily, I only have one neighbor, the Elohim, who dont seem to be aggressive, so my cities are very lightly defended. I just founded Ashen Veil and also have Govannon and a number of wizards. My economy sucks unfortunately, but I'm still churning out lots of research thanks to specialists, buildings, and great people. I've had particular trouble with happiness. My capitol is currently maxed at size 8, and this translates into low hammer counts, which makes things slow. Lots of fun, though!
 
Falamar as Captain Jack Sparrow. Try and shoot up Archery and grab Musketeers too; Strong Archery focus (But some Swordsmen, if you get the chance). FF or Orbis onry, since without ranged attacks this is basically begging to die. If it isn't anyway.

Oh, and nobody walks if you can help it. Cart them around in your Pyrat Navy. The sea is a harsh mistress, but 'tis the best one. Oh, and no auto-warring the women. Diplomacy them hard.
 
I would say the Sidar ... with recon units only ... and shade all non-ghost(assasin), non-hero units lv6 or higher as soon as possible.

Cannot give anyone your maps, and no open borders with anyone. Because you revere Arawn, you can't adopt another religion, and additionally you cannot use death magic because Arawn would look dislike such practices.

One possible exception is to found the Esus religion, although still could not adopt that religion.

(the Sidar respect Arawn above all else, but do not worship b/c Arawn prefers not to be worshipped ... ie Sidar do not follow any religion at all, yet would still follow closely to Arawn's wishes)
 
Grigori with no other units than your heroes... That would be a restriction.
 
yay - Go Valkrionn

I can finally run a specialist economy as the grigori now - AND get hero's...

Best modmod (add however many other mods as needed) in the FFH modding.

-Colin
 
Scene Three
The Place: The Super-Continent of Erebus
The Time: The Age of Rebirth, Year 137 to Year 197
The Cast:​
Dain the Caswallan: An archmage with ideals and a revolving bedroom door, prefers the library to the throne
Tebryn: Much to Erebus’ disappointment, he’s still alive. Much to his disappointment, so is Erebus
Capria: Ms. Militant, has not been mellowed out much from worshiping the Fellowship of Leaves
Daracaat: An arachnophile with a lot of Erebus caught in his web, recently placated into peace with Dain
Hannah: Captain of the distant Lanun, likes (in no particular order) looting, pillaging and plundering
Valledia the Even: Cunning and cut-throat, hard to keep track of despite being unable to cast Invisibility
Hemah: A mage whose sleep blurs the line between the waking world and dreams, has a late bedtime


Dain paced his bed chamber, unconsciously tracing sigils with his left hand in time to the song Tilania was singing in the shower. Occasionally her (slightly flat) notes would be at just the right frequency to interact with his cantrip and a burst of color and sound would linger in Dain’s wake. Such is the power of an archmage; when their mind wanders, so too do the local laws of creation. Dain paced (to a chaotic form of fanfare) with one thought buzzing in his mind: One city, six adepts (three battlecasters, two generalists, one summoner), the Beadels, and one node of death mana. That’s all the Amurites’ had. Daracaat was content with the price of their peace for now but eventually he would return to feed his brood. After a particularly sour note resulted in a small, purple explosion, Dain realized what he had to do (his mind is funny like that). There was no certainty that the Amurites had any way to stave off the Archosian Annexation but if anything was going to save Kylorin’s progeny it would be MAGIC. To access such power would require brilliance on the part of the Amurite researchers and Dain was a freakin' sherpa of Mount Mana. In truth, he wasn’t a particularly good ruler, nor was he an especially good lover or fighter. His only claim to leading and laying the people of Cevedes was his enormous… talent with magic. He was a nerd and it was high time he started acting like one. Let Valledia keep the empire running (such as it was), Dain was going to hit the books and hit them hard! But first, he should probably put on some pants.


Under Valledia’s guidance, the Sheaim forces were routed and pushed back all the way to Gavelhome. Though the capitol (and only) city of Tebryn’s was too heavily guarded to be conquered, every farm, hamlet and mine within Sheaim lands was razed and, in select places, scorched by a generalist. The scorch marks did only superficial damage to the landscape but Valledia was quite explicit about where they were to be created and what would happen to the hapless adept that screwed it up. From his summoning chamber, within the tallest spire of the Sheaim palace, Tebryn alone was privy to the message burnt into the very face of Erebus by a woman scorned. It wasn’t a pleasant message.


The lowest tier of magic is more useful than deadly. Spring can make the desert bloom, Haste can allow reinforcements to arrive in half the time, Loyalty can ensure your people will fight to the bitter end rather than defect but only the Death sphere allows an adept to directly harm a foe. But even skeletons, essentially highly-expendable warriors, lacked true offensive might. For almost two centuries the Amurites had only the meekest of force with which to secure their empire and that was the direct cause of their resulting decline. The second tier of magic, however, is MIGHTY. Adepts may be able to enhance a civilization but Mages can conquer one. There are very few problems in life that can’t be solved with enough summoned minions and fire.


Capria’s envoy was led by a Beadel through the labyrinthine academy, past rooms shielded by pulsating runes, others suffused with crawling shadows and still others barred by heavily iron doors with notes that read like “For the love of Oghma, do NOT open! EVER!” A section of the library had been emptied, furnished and soundproofed. Unfortunately, the sound proofing was not up to the challenges it faced on a daily basis, so the Bannorian envoy was led red-faced into the room as two women adjusted their robes and left.

“I apologize for the wait; because of my added responsibilities as head thaumaturgist, I’ve had to double up on some of my other obligations. You look flushed; I can lower the temperature if you like. I tend to keep it warm in here because the cold makes it harder to-”

“THAT WON’T be necessary, Caswallan; I don’t have long before I must tend to other duties. I come on behalf of Capria, who wishes to extend to you the opportunity to redeem yourself and your people.”

“If this is about converting to the Fellowship-”

“No, Caswallan, Capria feels that your people have been driven back because they were unable to fend off the warriors of Daracaat. Their reliance on the unwholesome and the eldritch has failed them and we wish to offer you the support you need to reform. This is not a world for philosophers; it is a world where only the righteous and the disciplined can hope to survive. Already, our axmen have reclaimed Udenarat from the spiders. If you cease courting the magic of death and destruction, train your people in honorable combat and join us in our grand crusade than you will be welcomed and, in so doing, be redeemed.”

Dain was silent for a long while. As he spoke his face grew as red as the envoy’s and the air thrummed in response to his volume, making the very room seem to grow hostile along with the Caswallan. “Tell Capria that my people are ready to join arms with the Bannor. However, tell Ms. ‘Most Likely to Cry Jihad’ that we do not need her charity, her redemption nor her condescendence. Of course you have driven back the Daracaat, they wield clubs while you have weapons of bronze. It isn’t your righteousness that garners you victory; it’s those same ‘soft headed’ philosophers that realized copper and tin, when fused, make a metal that is sharper and stronger than either! We have forces mightier than your feeble weapons; we aspire to wield the power of the Gods while you content yourselves with sharpened rocks! We go to war, you simpleton; be sure to stay out of our way once the fireballs start to fly so we don’t accidentally melt your pathetic little alloy.”


Dain was still angrily pacing (this time the sigils tended to summon brief figments of very nasty creatures) when Lirara contacted him.

“I have a message from Valledia. She wants to know ‘how we are supposed to challenge Daracaat, let alone the gods, when we can’t even create a fireball.’”

“Oh we can, we just haven’t figured out how to throw the darn things yet. Still, Tilania is making swift progress... while the rest of her associates regenerate after last month’s incident. Tell Valledia we should have the kinks worked out soon.”

The following morning, Dain awoke to find a note mysteriously placed on the pile of books that served as his nightstand. Dain had heard no one enter and all his wards were still intact. The note contained Valledia’s neat handwriting and, shortly after Dain read it, the note smoldered and ignited. The words still danced in front of Dain’s eyes, well after the note was soot; “It better be, or else you’re fired.” MAN, that woman creeped him out.


SORCERY! It may as well be called “Salvation” because that is what separated the Amurites from life and death. With specters and fireballs, with floating eyes, haste and skeletal body guards the Amurites conquered. Mother’s warriors and Mother’s webs were burned to ash by the arcane fire that issued from numerous spellstaves. Acterul was breeched and captured by fireballs and battlecasters. Agunias was captured without flame so as not to harm the Song of Autumn, an amphitheater of trees from which a primal melody issued forth. Anta was not to be captured, merely bombarded, but somehow Valledia’s messengers got Dain’s orders confused because the city was occupied and Mother’s cave was put to the torch. Two tickets to Middle Earth were found purchased by one ‘Shelob’ and ‘Gollum’; it is speculated that Mother and Daracaat fled Erebus under assumed names.


With Daracaat driven out and the FoL holy city in their grasp, the Amurites adopted the world’s dominate faith and, over the course of centuries, went on to unite the majority of Erebus through its worship. Years after the Unification of Leaves, Hemah wandered Agunias, trying to stay awake. He liked to travel the Amurite lands because a man in robes emanating arcane energy was practically commonplace there. Also, the whole empire had a “college town” mentality, making stimulants common and nights active. Such things helped Hemah fight off slumber; things got weird when he slept. However, the archmage, soothed by the incense from the nearby Temple of Leaves, laid his head down on the table he was sitting at and had a most peculiar dream. In it Agunias was the site of something new and strange; a religious faction calling themselves the OO vied with the Fellowship for worship. It all made sense to Hemah, in the way that dreams can no matter how bizarre they truly are, and so it made sense to all the others in Hemah’s dream... Of course we should listen to the mad priests about their sleeping god. Of course we can hear the eldritch whispers of the ocean despite Agunias being many days from the shore. Of course the Amurites embraced this faith, despite the prevalence of so many others.

!!!VRREEEEEAAAP!!!*​
*The sound of Existence being Retconned

Hemah awoke to the smell of the incense being burnt in the side-by-side temples of the OO and the FoL. Nearby, a crowd was gathering as a group of cultists began calling the faithful to the Dance of the Tide. It was odd; his dream was already slipping from his memory but he faintly remembered it being about Agunias... but with less of a cephalopod-theme. Of course, the OO had always been worshiped in Agunias, it had just been done in secret until the Amurites liberated the city from the Archos. It had always been this way, but had it always been this way before he took his nap? Hemah shook his head; such speculation never went anywhere and made him sleepy. The mage got up from his seat and disappeared into the crowd of crazed dancers. As he left, a few errant wrinkles of realty were smoothed into the new shape they were newly, but had always, formed.


“There have always been wizards and archmages among the Amurites; a fact which seemed to surprise the distant (and now extinct) Lanun, the secretive Sidar and even your people, Capria. How could a nation which has had practitioners of the second and third tiers of magic since the start of the Age be driven back by a mass of primitive jocks with sticks and a spider-fetish? The answer is because a single practitioner can only call upon so much magic before the ambient supply is exhausted. Some of the greatest casters of the Age of Magic were overwhelmed by mobs of rabble and soldiers (a part the Bannor played with zealous regularity during that distant age) precisely because of the limits imposed on a single caster. It took the advances made by Othmar the Astrologer to make the first tier of magic available to the common Amurite and so we were capable of training entire squads of adepts. With the advances made in the Abruel Azburgoh Academy, we can train those adepts en masse into wizards. When a number of practitioners congregate and work in concert, they are able to draw upon exponentially more mana than is available to the solitary mage. And so, with the advent of Sorcery, the Amurites are able to bring the Pax Arcana beyond our ivory towers and across the surface of Erebus. A brilliant researcher, one Delent Payne, has brought us to the cusp of another breakthrough we are calling ‘Arcane Lore’. From there, we are confident we will soon understand how to bring the level of archmage within the grasp of those wizards with sufficient strength of will. We once were few and therefore weak, but now our casters number in the hundreds, if not thousands, and as such, we have the power and reserves to endure a prolonged engagement. We are not the casters of old, who can be set upon and burned away in some 'cleansing fire' of mob justice. It is for that reason that I urge you, Capria, to reconsider your recent declaration of war upon the Amurites. We have proven that, though we lack soldiers, we do not lack strength of arms.

Sincerely,
Dain the Caswallan”


“Dear Capria,
Don’t make your people be sent to Hell by fire a second time. This is your one and only warning to back off, b****!

Velledia the Even
P.S.: I prepared explosive runes this morning.”
...
...
BOOM!

End Scene Three
 
yay for explosive runes!
 
Brilliant Story as usual, Shatner. Especially the first part was hilarious...

But enough of this sycophancy, I also support Sidar AAR.

The Sidar Conspiracy

  • You are secretive, isolationist nation of schemers. You are not allowed to go outside of your cultural borders with the exception of hidden units, CoE units (And divided souls perhaps?)
  • For the same reason, you are not allowed to open your borders to anyone or to trade your maps to them.
  • And remember, Time is the only thing that matters to Sidar.
 
Top Bottom