School Excuses

[Lord Draegon]

This is going to be long
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
3. Dear School: Excuses
Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
10. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
11. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
12. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
13. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.
14. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
15. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
16. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
17. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
18. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
19. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
20. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
21. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
22. Please excuse Bob from school from Sep. 1 - Nov. 1, he had to attend a religious sacrificial giving ceremony on Indian grounds .
23. My brother used this in real life..."the only reason that I do bad in school is because I'm near and far sighted."
24. Please excuse my son from school yesterday, he has gangrene and cock itch.
25. Please excuse Jackie for not having her homework she was a little under the weatherman, and there was a big flurry in Central America.
26. I didn't come to school yesterday because I was feeling like I was going to be sick, but thankfully I wasn't!
27. Please excuse my daughter for being late. Her broom won't start so I had to send it back to Salem for repairs!
28. I'm sorry but my baby sitter flushed my homework down the toilet.
29. I'm sorry Tyler can't go to school today because his hormones are raging.
30. I'm sorry I can't come to school today because I have toemonia!
31. A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death. One smart ass, male student said, " What about extreme sexual exhaustion? ", and the whole classroom burst into laughter. After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said, " Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write."
32. My son Michael won't be in school today, he caught his thing in his zipper this morning while dressing and is in lot of pain!
33. In my school district and a few around us we have a senior skip day. The seniors get to take a day off without being truant. But our new principal decided to change some rules this year and made senior skip day a truancy. All we had to do to make it excused was bring a note from a parent or doctor or something. So my mom wrote, "Please excuse my son from being absent, it was senior skip day," and they accepted it as excused."
34. Please Excuse Eric from school on May 5th thru May 19th, he was waiting in line for the new Star Wars film, you will be happy to know he got tickets for next September, when he will be missing another week of school while he waits for the perfect seat.
35. My mom called my school this morning and told them that my face was very sunburned and swollen so I couldn't go to school today or tomorrow, which is true and they accepted it as an excused absence.
36. Actually used - by me, the teacher.!! I am sorry your exams are not all marked. The cat got jealous as I was marking instead of petting him and after I went to bed he attacked the test papers. Those of you missing entire sections will be credited full marks. If I can see your answer through the tooth mark holes, I'll mark what you wrote down.
37. Again - this actually happened to me - the teacher! Sorry your books are being returned late - my briefcase was run over in the middle of the Fraser Highway after it fell from the roof of my car. I apologize for the tire tracks on some of your pages. The tire tracks will not detract from your marks for neatness.
38. Please excuse Casey from school. It was Take Your Daughter to work day. I don't have a job, so I made her stay home and do housework.
39. Please excuse my daughter from school yesterday and P.E. forever. She had a very bad asthma attach running in P.E. because the coach made her run too much. Please excuse her from P.E. even though the doctor says she needs it.
40. For school if you have a worksheet or something here is one thing you can say: I was doing my homework like a good little girl (or boy) and my dad wanted to check it, I gave him the paper and he forgot that he had it, he got a call from his boss saying that he had to pack now because he was going out of town, well he was so much in a hurry that he packed my homework in his suitcase, he won't be back for another 3 weeks...does that mean that I can get an extension?
41. When my husband and I first started dating, we got this great idea to have a bunch of us to go on a picnic on this beautiful spring day. I would have him write the excuse for me and have him sign my stepfathers name as I had never turned in an excuse from him and they did not know his handwriting. After our wonderful day with our friends picnicking he wrote the note, without looking at it, I put it in my purse to turn it in the following morning, which I did first thing I got to homeroom. After a few minutes the teacher called me up to her desk. She asked me, "Who wrote this excuse?" "My stepfather" I replied. "And how was he feeling when he wrote this?" "OK, I guess." not knowing what she was getting to. She handed me the note to read. The note my boyfriend had written said, Please excuse Sharon for being absent as she was feeling good yesterday. The excuse was accepted because they thought I wasn't stupid enough to hand in an excuse like that if it wasn't real.
42. For School: Tell your mom this.. Mom, My stomach hurts. I had diarrhea all night. Now I feel like I am going to barf. Next day, school time: I wasn't sick yesterday Mom, can you tell the school I was home taking care of you when you were sick?
43. Oh, sorry [teachers name], the cafeteria food made me delirious.
44. My locker is jammed and I can't get my homework out of it. I actually used this one.
45. This was actually used- Dear Coach, (students name) could not make it to the game at (time of game) because the battery in my car was dead because my headlights were left on and I needed a jump from the neighbor. Please excuse (name), it was my fault.
46. A student does not hand in a paper on time. The next day she calls me in my office and says: "I was going to hand the paper in on time, but yesterday my roommate's horse died, and I had to stay up all night with her."
47. As a college instructor for 15 years, I thought I had heard them all until.... a student told me he could not take an exam one day because he had a vasectomy yesterday and he could not think.
48. Al was not in school yesterday because he was didn't feel like going.
49. Please excuse Ryan's absents he has smoked too much weed over the last few days and is extremely tired.
50. My youngest daughter couldn't turn in her homework because her younger step-brother had stolen it, filled it in and turned it in to his teacher to prove how smart he was.
51. True story: My daughter couldn't turn in her homework because her dad had used it to start a fire in the wood stove.
52. Actually received at a high school attendance office: "Johnny was late today because of a shallow gene pool."
53. I was late for class because the bell rang before I got here!!
54. I won't be in class because my dog chipped my tooth.
55. I was absent because I got my head caught in the power window of the car.
56. My friend actually used this homework excuse: "I didn't do my homework because of my eyes.....I couldn't see any reason to do it."
57. I once told a teacher that my dog ate part of my homework. I was able to provide proof since I handed in what was left of the paper (for some reason my dog decided to eat a corner of my paper).
58. My sister had an incredibly difficult paper due in an intense class. She also happened to be house sitting for my aunt. The morning of her paper's due date, she toiled away endlessly. After she'd typed everything (remember pre word processor?) she sorted all the papers on the floor. Along came my aunt's ill Dalmatian, Love, who ambled past, fell over and went into full- blown seizure--blasting diarrhea all over the floor and *all over the paperwork!* That was her actual excuse. She offered the instructor the soiled paperwork.
59. My dog has mistaken my homework for that GOSH DAMN newspaper.
60. I actually was late for a college class for this reason. I had to drop my daughter off at the babysitters (my sister), who lives on a no outlet road. While I was there a tractor trailer came back that road hauling a new house trailer to be put on a lot. While trying to back in the lot, the rig got stuck! The trailer was blocking the only road in or out of my sisters house! I felt like a redneck explaining that to my professor, but I did make it to another class of his later that day.
61. One day, after a rough night of studying for exams, I had forgotten to do my homework for Chemistry. When the teacher came around to see if we had the homework done, I told him this excuse: "I don't have my homework because our family just got a new paper shredder, and I just had to test it out, and I accidentally shredded my homework." It worked! I got off, scott-free!
62. I was late for school 5 days in a row when I was seven. My excuses were a flat tire four days in a row, and on the final day, all the clocks in the house stopped at once, and I was unable to tell the time.
63. As a University professor I hear too many excuses, but this I used myself. I'm sorry, my cat ate your homework. My blind cat likes to chew things such as hair, string, and especially staples including the paper around them. One night when I finished grading a paper, I put it on the floor until I finished all the grading. When I looked down at the stack of papers, my cat had chewed all the stapled corners into a big, icky, soggy mess. I didn't make the students take their papers back.
64. I was unable to hand in a final paper in a college course because I was proofreading it while holding my infant son who is prone to eating paper ... he ate my final.
65. I am a principal and received this excuse about a student who was 2 hours late for school. Please excuse Henry for being late for school. He was stuck in the bathroom without any toilet paper.
66. Oh well э had a good excuse for not attending the class but э forgot so please excuse me for forgetting my excuse for not attending the class!
67. My husband wrote an excuse for my son that read: Please excuse my son for being absent from school yesterday as he was home sick with the flue.
68. I used to write my children excuses stating that they were absent because they had things like the black plague, bubonic plague, schoolitis or had to go to historic district to study history for a authentic history presentation. Teachers loved them but made kids mad at me. I did call school with real excuses but children didn't know.
69. I have written countless notes for my kids for being absent from school over the years, but the two I remember best are as follows: "Please excuse ______ for not turning in his homework. We just got a new puppy and he ate the homework. _____ is re-doing the work and will turn it in tomorrow" (puppy really did eat the homework) And then: "Please excuse ______ for being absent yesterday. He didn't feel like going" (true note. I was fed up with my son trying to get out of school and making up excuses for him.....so they got the truth as to his absence)"
70. I really used this excuse at school: "I was late because when I woke up there was a bat flying across the ceiling of my bedroom, so I ran out of my and waited until it flew away!" They didn't believe me.
71. One of my community college students was repeatedly late for class with a different excuse on each occasion. I vowed that one more violation would result in administrative withdrawal from the course. When the student appeared 1 1/2 hours delinquent for lab, I asked what it was this time, the student replied, "My mother died on the train this morning on the way to school, so I had to go to the hospital with her." I asked nothing more. 2. While in high school, friends and I would often have coffee at Perkins Pancake House through first period, arriving at school about an hour late. One day we decided to rub engine oil on our hands and clothing for a convincing effect, reporting to the Principal's office that we needed to go home for a fresh change of clothes before attending class. On our way back to school several hours later, we in fact did suffer an automotive breakdown which caused us to report a second time to the Principal who refused to believe our explanation and suspended us for two days.
72. True as it happened to me while at University. Could not make the test today as I woke up to find my wedding ring had been thrown out accidentally while cleaning up my desk. Had to go to the dump to look for it as I was unable to catch the garbage truck on its rounds. BTW, I found the ring!
73. I am sorry I didn't finished my homework but we visited my Grandfather this weekend and his house is so old and dirty. Anyway I brought my homework with me and when I finished it I left it down on the floor. Unfortunately rats and strange insects really ate my homework paper and it was well destroyed. You understand I have to write it over from the beginning.
74. I could not make it to school today because my sister went into labor as she was driving me to school. Enclosed is a picture of my new baby niece Alexa. (They believed me because the picture I gave them was of her just coming out of the birth canal. I didn't mean to give them that one but they believed me.
75. Teacher: Why do you not have your homework? Student: My dog ate the disk my homework was on.
76. Teacher: Why don't you have your home work? You: I'm leading a protest on tree abuse, what did the trees ever do to you?
77. I could not turn in my homework because I was finishing it on the way to school and while passing a big truck it blew out the window.
78. Please excuse Mindy for being absent yesterday because she went to the doctors with me .They did accept it as excused.
79. My Grandma wrote this excuse for my uncle when he was a sophomore in High School: Please excuse Ricky from school yesterday. He had spilled gasoline on his stomach and was afraid he would explode.
80. Home-work excuses:
1) My sister ate it... (I don't really recommend you to use it.)
2) I got mugged on the way to school and they took my Bag with the homework in it. (It actually works!)
3) I Forgot to take my dog for a walk and he just [Pissed] on my Homework.
4) My Snake Died and I just wasn't in the mood for thinking.
5) My baby brother threw up on my home work.
Use these incase you are late to school.
1) I got stuck in the elevator.
2) My Alarm clock didn't work.
3) I had to piss and it just took too long.
4) My mom forgot to wake me up.
5) Didn't You feel The Earthquake?
81. Please excuse my sister/daughter from school. We told her that her mother is her grandma, her sister is her mother and daddy is still daddy this weekend and she hasn't come out of the bedroom since.
82. My 16 year old stepson got detention the other day. When my husband asked his teacher what the problem was, he was told that his son swore under his breath in the hallway. My husband said he didn't think that was such a big deal that he should get detention for it. The teacher agreed, and said the detention wasn't so much for the swearing, as it was for his excuse...which was "I only said Jesus Christ because I saw him standing there outside the window."
83. Once, we had a mouse in our house, and it managed to bite a small hole through the bottom of my backpack and then eat the edges of my chemistry work. In chemistry the next day, my teacher noticed it and kidded, "Did you get hungry?" I laughed, but then she continued, "But, really, do you have a dog or something?" I've used this for not having done French homework - it works: "Mon chien mange` mon travaille." (I can't do the accents on the pc though). It can be used for various other languages as well, ex: Spanish - "Mi perro comio` mi tarea."
84. During my senior year in high school, I took to skipping my first few classes (sometimes days). I set a record by skipping my 2nd period class (Independent Living) for 15 straight school days. In my school, you needed a note from the office to get admitted back into class after being gone. To get a note from the office, to back into class, you have to provide the office with a note from your parents. Being male, and not having good penmanship, I typically relied on my girlfriend to write my notes. On one particular day, my note read "Please excuse Robert from school yesterday, he had a obstetrician appointment". What it was suppose to say was "Please excuse Robert from school yesterday, he had an optician appointment". A number of months later, I was called back into the office to explain my abundance of absences. Laid before me, was all the notes that had been forged, with varying styles of handwriting. Of particular interest to the counselor, was the obstetrician note. Needless to say, I found myself making up some of those missed days of class over the next few Saturdays. The moral of the story: Don't let your girlfriend write your notes for you.

 

[Lord Draegon]

85. Please excuse Dan Druff from school today. He is having a bad case of Lice.
86. As an attendance clerk at our high school I hear a lot of them but my all time favorite goes like this: Why are you late? Well, I was out trying to save the world from the mad monkeys. Really? what do you mean? Well, the mad monkeys were chasing us all over the place so we stopped and tried to kill the little *!!#*!! This is for real. Needless to say, it went unexcused but you have to love the creativity! Especially the way the two told it, they both got into it and spun a tale that had us all laughing.
87. This is an excuse I had to use because it This is a genuine excuse for being late for a late morning college class. Sorry I am late. I couldn't get to class sooner because I didn't have anything acceptable to ware to class. Someone used all the working driers in the apartment building. It took too long to blow dry something. they don't want anyone leaving stuff in the machines besides so I couldn't just leave.
88. I actually used this once, and believe it or not, it is not entirely fabricated: I told my biology teacher that my futon bed broke this morning while I was sitting up to turn off my alarm clock. The supports busted and the whole thing caved in and trapped me inside. Lucky for me my phone was still on the bed so I could call my mom to come home from work and rescue me.
89. Someone I know actually used this excuse: I couldn't do my homework because it got dark outside.
90. "I didn't hear the bell" I actually used this one once for being late for Visual Arts.
91. My medical transportation didn't show up on it's scheduled time > (fake) crying & saying while I get kicked out of school for this 'cause I really want to go! < which's is an entire falsehood on my part but it's believable when I talked to them. :>)
92. True Story: In 8th grade one morning my dad left for work long before I woke up and when I did there was about 3 feet of snow on the ground! I decided that it was too harsh of weather conditions to walk 3 1/2 blocks to my bus stop- so I just stayed home. When the attendance secretary called me at home around 9:30 I explained the whole situation to her and told her that the only way I was coming to school is if she was going to come pick me up. All she said was "this is the first and last time your going to do this!"
93. I used this as an excuse when I didn't come to school for 24 days- "I was walking past the stairs and this really fat girl rolled down them and hit me. I broke my 2 rigs, my legs, and fractured my wrist." The teacher laughed and gave me an A.
94. Little Johnny was late again, teacher ask why? Little Johnny said: "It was a sign down the road." Teacher ask: "What has a sign got to do with it?" Little Johnny replied: "It said, school ahead go slow."
95. As a teacher in the local high school, I had once received a note from a boy in my 10th grade homeroom. It read: Please excuse John X. from school this afternoon, he has an appointment with his gynecologist. Mrs. X. (John's mother)
96. This was used by a lady in my Philosophy class. She came to class, said she wouldn't be in that day because after she had parked her car, and was opening her door, another car came by and ripped her car door off. (after investigation, it was discovered to be true)
97. Tell everyone around you about the large car accident (*wink-*wink) on the road, it cleared up only as we got to school.
98. Please excuse John for not being in school yesterday. He had diarrhea - the ****s.
99. Overheard in a school office - girl " I don't have an excuse for being late, but here is the phone number of the man whose mailbox I hit...."
100. Sorry, my daughter Heather was not in school yesterday because we had to put our dog asleep. he was very old....
101. This actually happened!! One of my classmates was late for school one day. His excuse was that he was stuck behind a slow-driving semi. The funny part: He had the semi driver write him a note that said he was going slow.
102. About a week ago I had to write an excuse for my son not having his homework. I wrote it on the outside of an envelope so I could put the leftover pieces inside, it said, "The dog ate my son's homework. Since I know this is a time-honored excuse, I put the leftover pieces inside. He did complete it though."
103. Sorry I was late but I have to pass farms on my way to school and there was a herd of cows crossing the road! This was used successfully by me on several occasions.
104. Excuses for homework - I bumped into Shania Twain last night and she thought my essay would be a really good song, so she took it, and will be returning it soon.
105. School Excuse for no homework, I actually used this, and it worked, Sorry, my dad was mad at me because I exploded a pen on him, so he wouldn't let me use his computer, and mine doesn't have a printer.
106. Last year, we had a huge ice storm and all the schools in the state except for the city were closed. When my son went back to school several days later, I had written this excuse for him: Dear Teacher, Please excuse my son from being absent from school Friday. Some stupid school superintendent wouldn't close the schools due to the ice storm and even though we live across the street from the school, I wasn't about to send him out and have him break his neck falling on the HUGE sheet of ice on the ground. I wasn't about to go out with him to help him to school and fall and break my neck either!
107. Sorry I was late to school. When I got up this morning, my medulla oblongata just felt really funny.
108. According to the art of Feung Shui, my desk was creating a negative energy space...so I ditched it. - My lawyer is advising me to respond "no comment" regarding the ware bouts of my alleged homework at this time. - My little sister used my Encarta CD as a teething ring.
109. When my daughter was in kindergarten, her father (my ex-husband) was in a relationship with a woman who lived several hundred kilometers up the NSW coast. One day I had to send a letter to her school that went " Sorry my daughter was not at school all of last week, but her father picked her up for an access visit and did not return her for six days. If you want to know where she was, you'll have to ask HIM as I still don't know." This actually did happen to me, but I can't believe more single parents don't think to use this when they're desperate for and excuse.
110. My favorite school excuse goes something like this (true story) Student: Honestly this time I have a good reason for not turning in my essay!! Teacher: I'm not surprised. Student: Yesterday I had to go sandbagging as a service project to help protect some of the homes by the foothills from the mudslides. We finished around 8PM but HAD to stay to be interviewed by 6 different television crews. Do you know how LONG it takes to do 6 different interviews in one night. Of course I taped the interviews for your convenience, and I'd appreciate it if you could accept it as my essay. Most importantly this excuse worked for all my classes. I even got extra credit on top of the essays/reports.
111. I must go to the MOST, outrageously strict nursing school in the United States. I came to school one Monday morning with a black patch on my eye. I was 35 minutes late. As I sat down, everyone in class started asking me why I was wearing the patch and why I was late ( I had never been late to this class before). I explained that I had this extremely unsightly sty, that had caused my entire left eye to swell shut. I had to lift the patch to prove that I wasn't faking! Then I was told I would have to make up the 35 minutes I was late!! After seeing the doctor that afternoon, I brought a note from the doctor ordering bed-rest and alerting my instructor to the possibility of me having a systemic infection that would require a short hospital stay for I.V. antibiotics. She said, "If you go over your allotted hours, you'll be dropped from the program. The instructor even knew my Dr. as she had taught there also!!!
112. I will not be able to attend my Keyskills class this week because of the Duke of Edinburgh. What she meant was the Duke of Edinburgh Awards scheme, which among other things, include weekends in the Lake District walking up mountains.
113. This one was actually used by a (not so intelligent) boy in my class who didn't really feel like having P.E. "Frank's leg is hurting friggin bad. From Mum." It did not work.
114. If you are in a Band. Well sales are down and we have been under a lot of pressure and been real stressed so I just couldn't think about the homework.
115. Ok, this actually works, or at least it did for me. I sat in class one day, not doing any work. When my teacher asked me why I hadn't done anything I told him, "I'm on strike, which disables me to do ANY work that I don't want too." He told me that he strongly recommended that I go off strike for the next day. I have been on strike in that class everyday since, except for when we do fun activities and take tests, then I have fun and don't get bad grades.
116. One time, as my professor returned our tests, we noticed that the tests were water damaged. The professor explained, "I apologize. You see, I have a two-year-old son, and he found the papers I graded, and he urinated on them."
117. Used by my mom to get me out of last period study-- (My name) will be dismissed early today. I feel study is a waste of my time and her brain!
118. I went to a college that was a attended by a lot of pre-med students. The administration was very strict about rescheduling exams and papers in the typical pre-med classes because of the extreme competition among the students. My advisor freshman year was Chairman of the Biology department and told us the most creative excuse he ever heard from getting out of a biology exam was a girl who admitted that she was having an abortion a few days before the exam, and that she could not wait to have the abortion because she was too many months along. She told the professor that her doctor advised that she would be bleeding too badly to take the exam. She got her exam postponed.
119. One time in primary school my mate came in late and used this excuse: 'Sorry I'm late Miss, a van crashed through my house!' I went down to his house to see if he was lying, but he was telling the truth. There was a van half way inside his house, sat in his living room!
120. I was a Senior at a High School in rural Alaska where dog mushing is a common sport and my father was then active in. I had stayed up late one night watching TV, instead of studying for my final in Social Studies. The next morning I just could not wake up (my parents were out of town), so I made my way into school sometime that afternoon. At the end of the day I pulled my teacher aside and asked if I could take the test the next day to give me time to study. Of course, he said "No", that I must take it now or never. I being a student who took pride in her grades freaked out! So this is what blurted out: "But you have to give me tonight to study! I couldn't yesterday because...because my dad's dogs have lice and all their hair was starting to fall out in clumps, so we had to de-lice them last night in our tub one at a time... and he has almost 60 dogs so it took all night!.....I didn't get any sleep...." He looked at me with an arched eyebrow which spoke 'Do you really expect me to believe that?'.....I said "You can call him! It's true!" He either appreciated my earnestness or imagination, because he honored my request, and I got an A- on the test
121. In Britain, if you forget your PE kit, you must do it in your pants. So I told my teacher I wasn't wearing any and I got off with it.
122. A true story. Every year in my grade school the eighth grade put on a play of the Stations of the Cross. Well, when I was in seventh grade, on the day of the play, one of the eighth graders comes walking into school at about 1:00 in the afternoon. Book bag on shoulder, coffee in hand, he says straight to the teacher "My mom forgot to wake me up so I just woke up a half hour ago and rode my bike to school" On any other day, he would have at least gotten in some trouble, but the play was in 15 minutes so the teacher simply told him to finish his coffee and get into costume. It worked once, though I wouldn't suggest using this one, for the simple reason that it's, well, stupid.
123. This excuse came on a regular basis from a rather large young lady: Please excuse Angele....she had to go to the hospital for testes.
124. I dreaded waking up to go to school. Before my mother would wake up I would put a glass of water in the bathroom and hide it so that she may not see it. I would go into her room and tell her that I wasn't feeling good. After a few minutes, I would run into the bathroom, take the glass of water and I would make believe that I was vomiting. I would dump the water into the toilet to sound as if I were really vomiting. It always worked and up until this day, my mom still doesn't know! But hey, guessed who got to stay home?!?!
125. This was from one of our moms. Please excuse Brian yesterday, he had a bad cold to take to school.
126. School excuse for getting out of class said by a student. It worked, too! "My pants are too tight!"
127. I'm sorry I don't have my homework, but my niece was sick all over it, I've got the notes...
128. While attending Night school one of my co-students needed to leave early. He approached the tutor and said "my wife is going to have a baby so I need to cut class and leave early" The tutor agreed and the student left. The next night at another class I asked how his wife was after giving birth he replied "she isn't pregnant yet but is going to have a baby."
129. One I had like that was when I was starting a fire early one morning (we had a wood stove) and I tossed my homework in to start the fire. Actually happened...the first time. I tried it again a week later when I just forgot about the homework and got busted for it!
130. High school PE... swimming classes... male coach... all us girls always seemed to be there at the wrong time of the month - you'd think the coach would've caught on after 6 weeks in a row LMAO.
131. Early homework excuse.... "Homework? I was suppose to bring it back to school? I thought it stayed at home."
Later homework excuse.... "Homework? my locker partner grabbed my stuff by mistake... I'm sure I'll have it to you tomorrow."
132. I once had this teacher in the 5th and 6th grade (small country school where they combined classes). She was a bit on the heavy side. This one day she caught me spacing off, looking out the window, or maybe I was staring at the love of my young life, Tina.
Anyway, she called on me to answer some question or other and I missed it. She jumped my case about paying attention, which sort of irked me. About that time the bell rang for recess. I go out to the hallway where my friends were giving me a hard time about the incident and I say, "Mrs. Carroll is a fat pig!" Little did I know that the petite woman was RIGHT behind me and less than pleased to hear my opinion. When she called my parents about it I naturally lied. I said that it only _sounded_ like 'fat pig'. When they asked me what I actually did say, I thought a moment and said with a serious look on my face, "I believe what I said was, "Mrs. Carroll wears a hat big." Needless to say, no one believed me. Story of my life....! :-|
133. When I was in high school I was late for school that day. When asked why, I said my alarm clock started running backwards and the alarm did not go off. The principal didn't buy it, but I swear it's true! I think that electric clock was haunted or something. It would run fine and then all of a sudden start going backwards. The second hand would go backwards....weird! (true story)
134. Two true stories: Back in first grade we were one day doing a math test. I was never very fond of math back then, so I decided to give the teacher a hard time about me doing my work. I went on a math strike that day, by tearing my paper in half and pouting at my desk. The teacher tried to get me to do my work by saying if I did not do the work I would have to come back to the room after lunch and work on it during recess. Me, being the stubborn child I was, announced that I just wouldn't go to lunch and therefore would not have to do my work. Since I refused to budge from my desk when the other children went off to eat, the teacher had to call my Mom to come to the school and make me do my work! I never tried a work strike again, considering my mother grounded me when I got home from school that day.


2nd story: In 3rd grade I decided yet again not to do my work, but this time it was home work. My excuse for not doing it?? I told my teacher that I had either left it at home or something spilled on it and the paper was ruined, and I told my mom that we had no home work due to we had "field days" and other fun kid activities that the school planned for us during our class periods, so no homework was issued. This went on for about 2 weeks until my teacher finally got off his butt and called my mom to find out where my missing work was. I am amazed that both teacher and Mom fell for my lies for so long.
135. Telephone call to School: I didn't come to school today because as I was walking through the doorway of my house, I fell over and swallowed a fly, this led to stomach pains and inflammation of my left testicle, the doctor said that I wouldn't be unable to talk for the next year.
136. I can vouch for number 121. I tried to use the excuse of I'd forgotten my PE kit to get out of games but had to do it in my briefs. In front of the girls. The excuse didn't work.
137. Late for school: My dad left the coffee pot on and it caught on fire. The fire department came and put the fire out.
138. While working a Jr. High School as the Associate Principal, I called a student into the office for having skipped the previous afternoon classes. When asked for a reason, he looked me in the eyes and said: "Mr. H........Wednesdays at Tower Plaza you can see the double feature for 1/2 price. How did you expect me to pass up a bargain like that!" Because of his honesty, I just sent him back to class and cautioned him not to miss school again---even if it was a good deal.
139. I once missed school because I was locked in my house. All the doors to my house had deadbolt locks that could only be opened using the key. The previous day I was in my mom's car and had put my keys in the glove box. Needless to say, when I went to leave for school the next morning, I couldn't. Eventually, my mom sent someone from her office with the keys to let me out.
140. Student to teacher: "Teacher will you get mad at me for something I didn't do?" Teacher: "No." Student: "Promise?" Teacher: "Yes." Student: "Ok, I didn't do my homework."
141. My stepson had a problem with doing his homework in grade six, he had received a s tern warning about this and had promised that it would never happen again. Just a few days later he was found to have neglected his homework again, when confronted with his lack of home work he replied with out missing a beat that on his way home he had been walking through the gym and had slipped on some sweat and hit his head on the floor so he had forgotten to do his homework. The teacher was so impressed with his creativity that he telephoned us to tell us about it.
142. I was studying nicely when a heard of rampaging bees ran me over, and bit me...
143. I'm sorry I didn't turn in my homework because my turtle had a bad case of rabies and he started chasing me around my room, then I hid in my closet and it seems as if he had devoured my binder full of homework!

 

[Lord Draegon]

144. I taught class one semester in which one student had an attendance problem. When she came to class, her hair was a different color, green, orange, purple, quite a variety. Still, I had the impression her family was wealthy and influential. One day, she missed an important test. Her family was politically active and friends with the governor. Family pressure forced her to attend the inauguration, a two hour drive from campus. She attended, dressed in her finest clothing and sporting color corrected hair. Driving back, she hit a deer that had lurched across the road, and wrecked her car. She was uninjured, but stuck in the middle of nowhere. Finally a farmer pulling a large trailer of cattle gave her a ride to town. The truck was foul, outside and inside with cattle "residue," dirty straw, cattle feed, used chewing tobacco, and we don't want to know what else. Back in town, as she descended from the truck, she slipped into a slimy, greasy, greenish colored puddle of mud, face down. She was covered head to toe, front to back with unspeakable filth. Upon getting to her dorm, her roommate helped her remove her once elegant clothes and drop them in the garbage chute. She proceeded directly to the common bathroom to shower. Returning to her room, her roommate had locked the door and left. Of course, she had no key with her. Covering herself with paper towels, she went to the lobby for assistance. Did I mention this is a 17 floor, coed dorm? In the lobby, the University president, surrounded by VIPs, was presenting a plaque honoring a generous donor, and renaming the dorm after her--the governor's sister. The student probably could have made it to class in time, but by then she was a basket case. The campus newspaper covering the ceremony at the dorm, featured her in a front page story. It was complete with a photo of her (smartly dressed) standing beside the governor that morning, and another of her (nude) standing near the governor's sister. With that corroboration, I let her take the test on another day.
145. True Story: I once took an 8:00-8:50 AM college German class and had to be to work at a nearby job at 9:00 AM. However, twice I had been called in to work two hours early causing me to miss my classes, coincidentally both on test days. The morning of the third test I was relieved to know I wouldn't miss it. I left my house with German vocabulary words going through my mind, locked the door, then realized I had left my purse and car keys in the house. The only way to get into my house was to push in a basement window, but I forgot that my husband had recently moved his miter saw in front of the window. The window hit the saw, broke, and cut my finger. I was able to climb in and retrieve my purse and keys, but had to wrap a towel tightly around my profusely bleeding finger. Driving one-handed, I realized I needed stitches but worried that my professor would never believe I had a legitimate excuse a third time, so I first stopped at the college, entered the classroom where the students were silently working on their tests, walked up to the professor, unwrapped the towel and showed her my bleeding finger. She excused me to get the needed stitches. (Fortunately I was able to take all three tests.)
146. My sister's English teacher from two years ago used the following excuse for not returning the exams: She had graded the tests and placed them on her windowsill. A storm started, and a tornado came and blew away the tests. It's a true story, too, because her house, and half of the town, got blown away too. It had been the first tornado in over 30 years.
147. My friend and I had been late for school the whole term and we made a bet with our teacher that we would be on time the next day. To do this I said that I would pick her up. Well morning came and I was already to leave when my car wouldn't start. God Damn It, finally I got my dad out of bed to jump start it and by this time we were half an hour late.... I eventually made it to my friends house and we remembered that we hadn't wrote notes for being late so she wrote on her note, please excuse me from being late to school as I was having Netta troubles. I wrote please excuse me from being late to school as my car had a hissie fit and I had Mel troubles. When I was trying to explain to her that we were late because my car was having a hissie fit.... We got away with the excuses but still lost the bet with our teacher ~!~
148. (True story) One time in Eighth grade, right after my mom bought a cockatoo, I was trying to do my homework at the kitchen table. My mom had brought the bird out and put it on the table. Rose (the bird) came over to me and chewed the end of my pen up, then she hopped on my homework and pooped on it. In the process of trying to clean it up she managed to eat the edge of it off, and poop again. Luckily I was a teachers pet and after attempting to turn in my homework he told me that he would just give me a 100%.
149. I am an English teacher who often has more paperwork than I can fit in my backpack. On one such occasion, I brought work home in a cardboard box. It took several days to get to the bottom of the pile of papers. When I reached in for the last batch I detected a foreign yet familiar odor and noticed that the writing on the papers was running. It could only be the work of my cat Goober, who has a thing for sitting in and occasionally anointing cardboard boxes. Knowing the kids would think I was joking when I told them, I took the offending pages back to school. The kids laughed themselves silly when I told them what had happened, but they were happy to know I would have to give them all full credit. One skeptic still doubted me, so I invited him up to see for himself. One big whiff made a believer out of him. Now, if I could only get Goober to go on their interminable research papers! (-:
150. Tell a teacher: I'm late to class because on the way here there was a fight and they thought it was me.
151. 1st get a can of cream corn and empty it into a Ziploc bag and put some blue, red and yellow ,mostly yellow, food coloring in the bag. Close the bag and mix it up. Put it in your backpack and after about 15 minutes in school go to the nurse and say uhnnnnnnnnn. I don't feel to goooooddd.... uhn.... then hopefully she will lead you to that small sick room place. You know what I'm talking about. After she leaves wait 3 minutes and when she's distracted, say bloffffppppppand at the same time and dump the stuff on the floor in front of you and !!QUICKLY!! discard the bag, and I forgot to say, only put 1/2 the bag in the Ziploc. It should work every time. (hehehe)
152. I don't wanna go to school.
153. This actually happened in my first year as a teacher: I was running late for work one winter morning and when I got in my car, the emergency brake wouldn't move. It had frozen in place. My principal didn't believe me until I started crying, then she suggested that I get in under the car with a blow dryer to thaw it out. When I explained to her that I didn't quite have an extension cord that long, she finally decided to get me a sub for the day... I lived too far away for anyone to come pick me up.
154. Real excuse that worked used by me! Teacher: Where is your homework? Me: Lets just say I ran out of toilet paper.
155. I did my homework on the computer, but my dad thought I was messing around so he deleted it as a joke.
156. I was late for school today because I had a dream last night I was wearing a fish suit on the way to school, only when I woke up it wasn't a dream so I had to go home to change.
157. *True Story* My college roommate and I had a class together and we were only allowed to miss one day or we would flunk. One day we didn't go because we were sick (not!). Then towards the end of the semester I was in a bad car accident and was really hurt and unable to go to class. That morning, my roommate was going to explain to our professor what happened and while she was getting ready for class, she was cleaning her ears with a Q-Tip and poked it too far into her ear and had to go the the emergency room because her ear was bleeding. Just when our professor thought he had heard it all!!
158. Teacher: Robert, where's your homework? Robert: I was jumped by Jehovah witnesses who ran off with my homework. What? I SWEAR! The teacher gave him full credit for the assignment for thinking up something so stupid.
159. I don't have the original excuse anymore, but in Dec. '99, one of the parents in my class sent in a note stating that her son would miss a week of school due to the family attending a millennium survival workshop, "just in case".
160. TEACHER: Why are you late? YOU: Because the bell rang before I got here. (This is an old school excuse so don't think you wont get detention but its good for a laugh.)
161. I was late because last night I fell asleep in my nice bed and when I woke up I was in another house.
162. A friend of mine a few years back actually used this, unsuccessfully I might add. "I was late into school today because I was accosted by several heavily armed dwarves who felt vengeful about their lack of stature". He got two detentions, one for being late and the other for lying to the Teacher.
163. Strolling into English class 15 minutes late, my teacher pulled out a pink tardy slip, not even asking for my excuse. I suppose he was tired of hearing them since I was at least 5 minutes every day because I had to walk through a busy intersection of halls. So I quickly explained to him that when I was in the middle of that particular intersection the back of my earring fell out, and since it was a new piercing I couldn't just take the earring out. So I had to run around and find someone else who could let me borrow an earring back, and then I had to find someone else with sanitizer so I could make sure I wasn't going to give myself an infection. He jes' kinda looked at me and told me to go sit down, later placing the tardy card on my desk for me to sign. I guess he just doesn't like me, even though I had someone come in and say that I had borrowed their earring back.
164. I'm very sorry teacher, but I was in my bathroom and lost track of time and then I said to myself oh darn it I should've done this in the school bathroom!
165. This excuse was actually given to me by one of my students. "I don't have my homework because I put it down on the kitchen counter and my mother never cleans the house so my homework got lost on the counter and nobody can find it." Mother later corroborated excuse.
166. When I was in fifth grade, I had a puppy that liked to chew on everything. She ate half of my spelling book. My teacher didn't believe me so I pulled out the book. This is true.
167. Well my homework was on the outside of my binder when I was putting my binder in my backpack, it must have slipped out.
168. I don't have my book report in because last night when I was finishing it up, I spilled coffee on it and when the coffee dried there was still sugar on it, so the cockroaches ate it!!
169. One day I arrived at my 8am class to find the door to the classroom closed and my professor standing outside in the hall. He told us that class was cancelled because there was a bat flying around the classroom. Apparently the bat had been in the classroom before but it had been hanging in the corner not bothering anybody. On this particular day it was flying around the classroom so the University decided to call animal control so they wouldn't get sued since bats carry rabies.
170. One time during P.E., I got grouped with a REAL lazy person in my class called Paddy. We were going running and he was so lazy that he walked the whole time. I told the teacher to make him run and here's his excuse... ''I went to the doctors because my legs hurt whenever I run. She can't find out what's wrong with them. She thinks its something long beginning with l...'' I couldn't resist and said, ''Is it laziness?'' Any way the teacher actually took the excuse, but the lazy fat kid heard the lunch bell and took off like a shot, running! (true story)
171. The excuses kids give when they are late for school can be amazing. One kid told his teacher, "I was late because there are eight kids in my family, and my mother set the alarm for seven."
172. Dear Mrs. Teacher, please excuse Harry for not being at school for 2 weeks because he had all his hair cut off his head.
173. If you have forgotten your home-work [ or haven't done it! ] simply say that your dad must have picked it up with his paperwork and you will bring it ASAP!
174. I was so proud of myself for thinking this up! I had a BIG project due that required several papers that I hadn't completed yet. All of which were saved on a disk. My teacher told the class that if we didn't turn these papers in on time, it would lower our grades drastically. The last thing I needed was a lower grade so I took a perfectly good floppy disk, slapped a label on it, then crushed it and ripped the little disk inside. I took it to school the next day to prove that my work was "lost" and she bought it. I got an extension AND a good grade!!!
175. It's the truth! I swear! I have a great story for you. I had taken some of my students' homework papers home to grade over the weekend. While the papers were sitting on my coffee table, my 2 year old Airedale/ Ridgeback mix sneaked up beside me and grabbed an entire stack. Before I could chase him down, he had torn them to shreds. Imagine my embarrassment when I had to tell my students that my dog ate their homework!
176. Sorry Miss, I was doing my homework, and suddenly my mum got caught up in a chip pan fire and I had to smother her with my homework so that she wouldn't die.
177. I am a junior at a vocational high school. A couple of months ago I fell down the stairs. My mom told the secretary at the school that I fell down the stairs and broke my butt so now there's a big crack in it...and the secretary wrote that on my "admit to class" pass.
178. On Friday the 13th - I don't have my homework here because handing in homework on Friday the 13th is considered bad luck.
179. When I was in the Third grade I had a teacher and a Para-pro (teachers assistant). I was actually able to tell the teacher that I had given the Para-pro my homework; at the same time telling the Para-pro I had given my work to the teacher. They thought they had lost my work for about a month and a half.
180. Teacher I was not here yesterday because I had to bury my dog, it died yesterday.
181. I got my homework stuck up my ass, if you don't believe me you can check if you want?
182. Bob will not be in school for the next week or so because he has got anal infestations and I'm afraid he'll spread them.
183. My homework must have dropped on the road as I was leaving home, sorry teacher.
184. I've done my homework, only I did it on the computer, and our printer's run out of ink, and I've lost all my floppy discs, so I couldn't print it of in the computer room either. (This usually only works if you are a girl with a charming smile, telling a male teacher)
185. I just didn't do it lady so leave me alone. (This was sooooooooo funny when I said it she didn't give me homework for a month)
186. Sorry Teacher I didn't go to school yesterday because the retiling you gave me as made my testicles grow to the point that they wont fit in my pants. ~ Bart Simpson
187. Excuse me, teacher. Although I know the subject of my final project since 3 months now, I could not turn it in on time, because I am not able to type so fast.
188. My dog ate my homework!
189. One day, a friend of mine and I were late for school, as usual, and we knew that the normal "alarm clock not going off" excuse would not work. It only works so many times, you know, so we came up with something a little different...
We said that I left the headlights on my car on all night, and when we got up the next morning, my batteries were dead. Well, my friend then said that her car was in the shop, so we couldn't take it, and both our parents had already left for work. So, we said that my parents, who both worked close, were unable to leave work, and that the only person we could reach was her mother, who was at least 45 miles away. We then said that when she arrived at my house, we had NO jumper cables, so we had to go buy some so she could boost my battery and we could get to school. I think the Vice Principle bought it only because it was so outrageous.
190. This one is from Scotland and worked on more than one occasion: - I was revising on the toilet for my exam and I picked up what I thought was toilet paper and.......!
191. My homework slipped behind my locker in that little crack in the back of it and I tried to get it out but it cut my finger. ( Bite your finger really hard, Or if you have a recent cut on finger show them that and say "See!" )
192. I don't know if this qualifies, but my son said he wanted to show me a magic trick. Asked me to sign the top a a sheet of paper. He folded it and unfolded it and said something like Abracadabra your name. I laughed it off. That afternoon my sons sixth grade teacher said she wanted to talk to me about a forgery. I went to see her and she showed me the paper now covered with I shall not etc. I told the teacher I signed it, but, when I signed it the paper was blank. Guess who got busted?
193. My wife used to live in Alaska and claimed that in the spring she often missed school due to a moose cow and calf that would hang out in front of her house. She could not walk to the bus stop because cow moose are very protective of their young.
194. When you go to school and your teacher asks you where is your homework and you say I didn't do it. Then your teacher starts yelling at you, this is what you say to her: why are you yelling at me for something I didn't do!!!
195. Excuses for being late to school: I'd been shopping with my friends during lunch where one of my friends had purchased handcuffs. On the way back to school my friends ambushed me and handcuffed me to a fence forcing me to be late for my History class. I eventually made it to class & related my story in front of my class where upon I was not believed & told to sit down. I believe my teachers exact words when I asked if she believed me were "I Believe you believe it".... *****! hehe
196. I didn't hand in my 3000 word essay because I spilled my senakot and had to wipe it up and I picked up what I thought was kitchen roll.
197. Sorry, while I was on my way to school I met an old man who thought he was my grandfather and kept trying to talk to me.
198. Sorry, I was taking a short cut through the market and a stall holder accused me of stealing a blue sweatshirt. He wouldn't let me go until he'd searched my bag. (this actually worked, I was about 30 minutes late for the lesson)
199. This actually happened in my Advanced Corporate Finance class in college. We had turned in extensive term projects that took the professor at least 2 weeks to grade. Instead of passing them back in class, he told us to come to his office where they would be sitting in a cardboard box outside his door. I went with a friend of mine to retrieve our project but there was no box sitting outside the door. Since class was only once a week, I returned a few days later to see if the box was there. NO BOX, I spoke with other students and they said there was no box when they went . At the next class session, the Professor said that he had to apologize to us for not being able to give out projects back. He had set the box outside his door as promised and the evening cleaning crew at the University thought it was trash and threw it away. The professor said he dug in to University dumpster but could not find them. He wrote our grades on a piece of paper and mailed them to us. TRUE STORY

 

[Lord Draegon]

200. I was rather late for school one day as I had gotten up precisely 15 minutes before I needed to be there. I live 20 minutes away even if I drive like a bat out of hell. When I got to school I told them, "I am late for religious reasons. I have recently converted to Hinduism and there was a cow in the road." They bought it but I think that the attendance lady suspected.
201. My cat killed my dog which ate my homework, then flushed him down the toilet.
202. Excuse me for not doing my homework, its cause you ASKED me to do it, you didn't TELL me to do it so I thought it was optional.
203. I didn't come to school today because my dog was depressed......... he told me if I left he would hang his self by his under pants.
204. Here's an excuse that only someone who ran out of excuses would use:
My son (daughter), (student name) could not attend school yesterday because he/she is grounded to their room for not taking out the trash for a month. Not only this, but the trash has piled so high that I cannot get out of my back door. (Student Name) will be able to attend school again as soon as he cleans up the trans and serves his punishment. Expect to see him back in school within a month of the date of this note. Thank You
(Parent Name)
205. I am very sorry Jimmy could not attend school today. I had SPECIFICALLY pointed out that the pills were for me and for me only, but he went ahead because I was "hogging the candy."
206. My cat threw up on my homework!
207. "It was raining yesterday afternoon and my homework got torn up in the rain."
208. If you feel like bludging a day of school, I often find that, if you've got an electric blanket on your bed, if you lie with your head tightly under the pillow for about ten minutes you give yourself a realistic temperature and then all that remains is delirious and coughing symptoms to be faked.
209. When I couldn't be bothered to do an essay that was due the next day, I told my English teacher that my printer had run out of ink, hence the essay which was all completed on the computer couldn't be printed until we got another cartridge ( If you're a perfectionist liar like me, I actually wrote about eight lines of the essay and used Word art in Microsoft Word to color each line a lighter shade of gray to the last one, then printed that on my printer, which incidentally had loads of ink and handed it in with the excuse) PS: Any plausible excuse at all seems to work if you say it with a despondent face.
210. My homework was done, and I didn't want to forget it, so I put it in my backpack. Turns out, my mom washed it.
211. My neighbor actually wrote this to her daughter's high school, which after reading it, sure seems like a good reason to not go to school.
Trista was having bad crapping on Wednesday the 14th. Thank You, Darlene Deem.
212. I actually e-mailed this to my teachers. I had been making statements of having "troubles" right before sending this in. I'm really sorry I'm absent! I've been trying to sort my life out, since my family is really dysfunctional. I'm telling you this because my psychiatrist thinks it will help me get over my problems. I've admitted that my life is messed up but telling others is a "step closer to recovery". I'll try to make all my work up ASAP, though my counselor tells me to take a break. I've started a Diary though. Because it is supposed to help me. It actually works too! Anyway, against my doctors recommendation I will be in school tomorrow!
213. I was late to class because it was foggy this morning and I couldn't find my way to school.
214. This happened to a friend of mine, and he managed to use this excuse too: While I was walking to school, my shoes fell apart. I went back home to see if I had any more. I didn't and my mom wouldn't let me leave the house without any shoes.
215. THIS REALLY WORKS! (but only if it is raining in the morning) Say that you missed your train/tram/bus, and since you didn't want to be late for school, you ran in the rain. Of course, you say, the downside is that you had to use your bag to cover your head, (not having an umbrella with you) which resulted in everything in it being drenched. Including your homework. Show the teacher the 'homework' (which can be anything really) that is completely sodden. You should probably soak the paper in the sink before leaving your house, since, unless your state is in the midst of a flash flood, there is no way your homework will be as soaked as you need it to be. Strangely, no teacher has ever asked me HOW my paper got so wet, and I've used this excuse around twenty times on various teachers!
216. I really wanted to get my homework done, but my mother said I need to get more rest at night.
217. To get out of PE one lesson, I told the teacher I'd forgotten my kit. I'll have to try and think up another excuse next time, as I ended up doing PE in my bra and knickers!
218. I used this and it really works, but you have to do this after a stormy night. Mr./Mrs. (teachers name) last night was a real bad night for me to finish my project. You know it was real stormy and rainy. Well, my power was cut off by the storm I guess, while I was finishing up my project. I was just sitting at my chair typing and the next you know my power went off. I didn't have a chance to save my project or anything, so I'm asking if I can have an extra day to finish it up? Trust me on this it works like a charm.
219. School excuse for not having homework: I made my homework paper into a paper airplane, and it got hijacked. This was a true excuse used in my junior high school science class. The teacher said if you can come up with an excuse he's never heard before, he won't count it against you for not having your homework!
220. (Stupid School Excursion\ Camp\ Homework excuse) My dog exploded therefore blasting poop all over the place including the study which is where I left my permission slip\homework last night. (Don't use this too often.)
221. I am a full time college student and mother of two. One day I missed speech class, on a test day. To be allowed to make the test up, I had to have a great excuse. When asked by my professor why I was absent, I told him my daughter started her menstrual cycle, and was too upset to go to school. He told me that he didn't want to talk about it anymore, but not to use that excuse anymore the rest of the semester... He never asked for any documentation.
222. (This only works if it is a long-term project) Tell your teacher that, being the industrious student you are, you finished your project days ago. But because you didn't have the stress of worrying about it getting done, you forgot about it and that it's sitting in your living room. My friend used it. It worked!
Or, if you have a long-term project, tell the teacher that you have been stressed out about getting this project done and you're so stressed out that you've become forgetful lately, and that you'd forgotten what the date was and didn't think the due date was until tomorrow. You have to really act confused. You know, say things like: "The 24th? Are you sure? I could've sworn today was the 23rd!"
223. I actually gave this to my teacher: "I didn't do my homework last night because my Mom's brother's only sister's son died." (that's me). He believed me and gave me an extension.
224. My baby sister/brother drooled on my homework.
225. This is a list of excuses I made up for my friends... I don't advise anyone to actually use these, because I wouldn't expect any teacher in his or her right mind to accept any of these excuses, but hey, they're good for laughs.
1. The person I normally walk with to your class was absent and I got lost on the way here.
2. My pet goat ate my homework (which, by the way, is more believable than a dog eating it, because goats actually enjoy eating paper).
3. My dog ate my feet! (dogs are carnivores, they'd much rather eat a good pair of feet than a piece of loose leaf paper with calculus scribbled on it).
4. I hit my head on my locker and passed out for (insert # of minutes late here).
5. I wanted to make an entrance.
6. The janitor tried to eat my homework and struggle ensued. I did get the homework back, but I'm a bit late, sorry.
7. I just couldn't bear to leave math class last period... I just love math so much!!
8. I really really had to pee, but when I got to the bathroom there was a line. Then there was no toilet paper and then the toilet overflowed... sorry!
9. I was scared to run in the hallways for fear of falling off of these platform sandals and breaking my ankle (this really happened to one of my friends... she's still in a cast today!)
10. It was the aliens!! They told me to be late!! I swear!!! (Would I lie to you?)
226. Second semester freshman year I managed to attend fifteen classes combined between five courses for the entire semester. The way in which I did this would surely send me to hell if I weren't Jewish (no hell) This was a two step process. First, I told one of my teachers that a friend of mine from home had gotten into a car accident and I had to go home and see him. Two weeks and no classes later, I was writing an e-mail to the same professor to explain my absences. I wrote that my friend had sadly passed away and that I had to attend the funeral in... and this was the kicker... Hungary. Why Hungary? Why not? No death certificate necessary as well as two more weeks without class. I passed this info on to all my other teachers and it worked for three weeks. Then they started asking questions so I had to tell them I was taking his death pretty hard. Bam! Two more weeks without classes. At the end of the semester I had missed most of my classes and all of my midterms so I went to see the school psychologist to tell him I was more or less having a nervous break down. A few more phone calls to my teachers (who were more than sympathetic) and I finished the semester with two B's, two B+'s, and one F (the heartless bastard). What's more, I actually had a friend at school who was from Hungary and was also a slacker. Around finals, he hadn't turned in his final or his midterm for a class we were in together. He told me he was going to tell the teacher a friend of his in Hungary had died. Thank God he talked to me first and we managed to straighten things out. We decided that he had a friend in Turkey that had died. He got a B+, too.
227. You see... I was doing my work in the car and I left it in there. Then suddenly the car caught on fire while we were in the store and the paper was inside. (I tried this on my L. Arts teacher and it didn't work).
228. Sorry I'm late but I let my brother do my makeup, big mistake!
229. I'm late because there was no more toast and I had to make cereal and it worked. Though three days later a loaf of bread was delivered to my class for me.
230. Once, I slept through one of my philosophy classes at college. Since my father is a physician, I told them that I had eaten at a bad Mexican restaurant the night before and I thought that I had gotten food poisoning and subsequently, diarrhea. My father believed me and wrote a note saying why (not really) I was absent. Since my dad is my Primary Care Physician, the teacher HAD to let me make up the test. (true story)
231. If your a woman and your late to class just say, "Sorry, I was having women problems!" This especially works if your teacher is a Guy, since most guys don't want to get into it.
232. Tell a teacher and start off with, "I had a busy day". Then tell her your day and rattle on soon your teacher will give you an extra day to do the work if you stop talking.
233. I couldn't do my homework because mum said my hemorrhoids are acting up.
234. I couldn't do my homework because I was too constipated.
235. I used this one in high school once: We were on our way here when we saw a bag on the side of the road. When we opened it up it was filled with puppies, so we took them all to the animal shelter.
236. My father actually wrote this and gave it to one of my teachers. (name) was absent yesterday because her head got stuck in a lions mouth. We had to tranquilize the lion and (name) had to under go surgery. Luckily there was no damage to (name) or the lion.
237. An actual note for being away that the mother of one of my friends (it was for being away on the day of the school's swimming carnival): "[STUDENT] was away yesterday because she had more constructive things to do."
238. This actually worked. My English teacher gave us homework and I didn't do mine. Well, she asked me why didn't I do my homework, and I couldn't just say that I didn't want to do the freaking homework, so I said "I'm not a homework kinda person". She laughed and I didn't do the homework for the entire year. I have an A... he he he!
239. For the typically good student who just needs a little 'break' from homework - simply tell your teacher that your mom/dad grabbed your notebook by mistake and left their work notebook for you. Works best if your notebook is plain black or burgundy.
240. When a teacher asks you why you aren't paying attention, you simply say "This attention guy never gave me a bill!"
241. Can Joe please be excused from completing his religious studies homework, he thought it did not apply to him as he has sold his soul to the devil. This one I did myself, my teacher was not too pleased, oh well!
242. I had an oral presentation due and I completely forgot about it. I told my teacher that I had dropped my note cards in a puddle on the way to school and the ink ran all over the place. I then presented her with several note cards that I had written nonsense on and then wetted in the sink. She gave me a two day extension.
243. When asked why my friend Sarah was not wearing her regulation school shoes she showed the teacher a note which read, "Please excuse Sarah for being out of uniform as a dingo ate her school shoes."
244. Well, my teacher asked someone in my class why they didn't have their homework. The person replied, "You're the teacher, shouldn't you know the answer to your own questions?" He got a detention, but maybe it'll work on other teachers. Good luck!!!
245. One day I was late to class and the teacher asked why I was late. I simply told him that I was late because the bell rang before I got there. It got me out of a detention so I was happy.
246. Please excuse Evan for school today. He leaves his clothes all over the floor and his fish tank busted and all of his clothes got wet.
247. This happened to me once. I had my math worksheet on a coffee table. I had finished it and left it there to go out to eat. When I came back, my dog had gotten to it and ripped it to pieces! So instead of having no homework I put it back together and typed a copy on my computer. The next day I turned in both pages, one in whole form and the other in an envelope.
248. My son/daughter could not attend school today because we have decided to ship him off to Switzerland for military school for a a couple of days but don't worry he will come back as a perfect gentle men.
Sincerely, (your parents name)
249. In eighth grade, I had didn't wish to do this huge science packet on soil science, extremely boring stuff, so I just filled in a few of the pages with gibberish, rubbed old, melted Halloween candy all over the top page, ripped most of it up, and persuaded my rabbit, who truly does enjoy eating paper, to nibble some of the corners. I presented this to my teacher the next day, while I cried a bit, and was rewarded for my efforts with a 100.

 

[Lord Draegon]

250. If you haven't done your homework and you are relatively good at acting, try this. It works like a charm. When your teacher asks the class for the homework smile and look through your bag as though you are bringing it out. About a minute in, start to look really worried and turn to your friend. When the teacher comes over to you keep going through your bag and look up with puppy dog eyes and announce you must have dropped some things out of your bag. It also helps if you say there was a twenty in your notebook because the teacher is bound to be more understanding if she thinks you've lost a large sum of cash.
251. A man came to me and said, "homework or your life!" I couldn't possibly give him my life so I gave him my homework.
252. My dog died and so I am having trouble with my homework so I didn't get it done cause I was grieving over my dead dog Max.
253. This is an excuse my father wrote for me in high school. I had a tendency to wake up horribly late or not at all. "Please excuse autumn for being late today, she was having an emotional breakdown."
254. I told the teacher for two weeks in a row, "I was late to class because I could not find your class!" It worked!
255. I was going to give you my homework but my mom already graded it!
256. Sorry I'm late but my bus was hi-jacked by Turkish rebels--- My teacher didn't believe me but it made her laugh so she wasn't annoyed!
257. A friend of mine had a note from her mum that stated "please believe whatever **** tells you" signed and dated. Apparently she was in a hurry that morning.
258. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bus.
259. I was late to school because a bus ran me down.
260. I'm sorry teacher I did my homework but the funniest thing happen! Taylor ate it! She got a little hungry when she was copying me.
261. True story: My duck ate my paper and the teacher believed me!
262. This is a Monday excuse... If late for class tell the teacher you went fishing, if he/she asks why you didn't go fishing on the weekend say, "everyone else goes fishing on the weekend and you can't catch any fish."
263. If you own a hamster or other small animal then you use this excuse: I'm sorry I haven't got my homework but I let my hamster run over my desk as a did it and he pissed on it as I was doing it and I didn't think you would what the paper. I tried and it worked!
264. My Biology homework was abducted by aliens, as they are studying Human Biology. But they decided it wasn't graphic enough. Unfortunately it was thrown in the bin with the remains of the body they dissected after reading it...
265. I couldn't hand in my homework because my best friend used it to catch dog **** from my dog so it wouldn't get on the carpet.
266. No Homework - my dog ate my homework and my rabid mum ate the dog ( in the case of a rare ginny )
267. I am methodically testing all the homework excuses that I can find on the internet and actually bringing my homework would defeat the purpose.
268. My six year old son told his teacher that he was late because his mother couldn't drive fast because the old lady in front of her wouldn't get out of her way. The next time he was late he told her that the power went out and we could not get our garage door to open so we had to call a cab. He is the MASTER at only six.
269. I actually used this one when I walked into class ten minutes late: A pack of wild dogs got into the school and started chasing me, so I had to take a lap around the school to shack them. Don't worry though I'm alright. The teacher laughed and then gave me detention.
270. This is true: Me and this guy were on our second day of high school, which had totally different classes than the first. We didn't know much but we knew which classes were where. Our teacher told us to go to our lockers, but we weren't aloud to our lockers unless it's the beginning or end of the day, so naturally we thought school was over. We packed up our stuff and left, neither of us had a watch so we had no idea. We ended up missing our first math class, staying after school and having to see our vice principal. She never understood how we didn't know the time. He hated being wrong, so his excuse was, "the teacher's should know what their talking about." Yo u should have seen her face.
271. Also true: My little bro is always complaining that he doesn't want to go to school. Well once because of it I missed the bus, ended up walking, was late and got detention it was my second week second day!! My excuse was the truth they thought it was preposterous and said, "take an earlier bus!" (I already get up at 6:45).
272. An excuse I heard from one of my friends was in grade 3. He said , "I wasn't at school yesterday because I was half way (he walks) and I realized I forgot my pants and had to turn back." (everyone laughed and he was excused!!!)
273. This will probably work if you have several buildings on campus that requires you to cross the busy student parking lot, and if you have a free period later that day, and then a class after the free period. Teacher, sorry I was absent on (day). A reckless student ran over my foot, so I had to go to the emergency room during my free period. It took longer than I expected so I was not able to make it to your class that day. (Present the shoe that got run over and has tire indent marks on it) That ACTUALLY happened to me a couple of weeks ago. After I got back to school from being in the ER, I was still wearing the shoes that had tire marks on it. My Applied Biology/Chemistry class was supposed to go to the school greenhouse, which is a good 3 minutes from where my class is. When she said, "OK, kids, let's go to the greenhouse!" I said, "No way ~ My foot got ran over this morning and the doc advised me not to do too much walking and to take it easy!" and then I showed her my shoe. She let me get off with not going to the greenhouse and said, "I hope you get well soon." So I didn't have to do anything and I was waiting in the hallway for my next class. :-D
274. Actual excuse given in a science class, It wasn't accepted. The atomic structure of my essay became unstable, so it disintegrated.
275. If you turn up to school late, you have to sign a book in the office. One day I turned up about an hour late, and I was waiting for the office lady to give me a note to go to class, so I started reading the late book and saw that one student had put speed limit in the "reason for lateness" column. (*I thought it was a classic)
276. Lora will not be at school today as she is at a very important rally demanding better pay and conditions for her 'hard working' teachers!
277. This happened to my friend a few weeks ago (it is in his AIM profile) Prof. Cormican: "Where were you in class today?" Me: "There were extenuating circumstances, I couldn't make it" ::: pause ::: Prof: "Who was she?"
278. This is a note my dad wrote to my teacher so I didn't have to hand in my English homework. I never thought he was that stupid! "Elizabeth cannot hand in her English as she forgot it."
279. Once I didn't want to do an assignment, so I told my teacher that It was against my ethic morals and therefore couldn't do it. She laughed and gave me detention.
280. Given a piece of coursework by my teacher in September I didn't do it. About 2 months after the due date I had to go to parents evening where my dad who did not know of the lateness of my work would find out. When the teacher asked about the work I asked, "didn't you find it? I left it on your desk they day after it was due!" My teacher is now searching the school for a piece of non existent coursework.
281. A kid kept telling the football coach that someone died and that was why he missed practice. First his grandmother, then it was a great uncle. About the third time in a month he came in and said: "Coach, I am sorry I missed practice yesterday, but my 2nd cousin..."
Coach said, "Son you need to quit this **** before you end up an orphan."
282. In 7th grade I was a teacher's pet. Then one day I forgot 3 assignments, so I told him I left them in the printer and forgot to pick them up cause my essay was SO good and long that I had to walk away while it printed. He bought it!!
283. Just say I was up really late last night trying to finish my essay on the computer and my sister was chasing my cat around the house and she ran bye the computer and stepped on the cord I didn't get a chance to save it and my parents said I should just go to bed and my teacher would understand. Then look at your teacher with big eyes and ask for an extension. I tried this in science and it worked.
284. This will always work. Sorry I'm late (teacher name) but I was walking to school and I read the sign Slow School Zone.
285. What? Homework? What Is Homework?
286. My mom was lighting a cig when i was doin my homework!
287. Me and my friend were often late to our math lesson after lunch and our teacher was a bit a strict one, so I always made sure I had an excuse ready to give if he asked. The excuse was - well, I desperately had to pee and the line in the girls toilets was really long. I just had to wait coz I couldn't hold on any longer! Nevertheless me and my friend never got asked for an excuse coz we were teachers pets =D
288. Please excuse Jason from school today as he has misplaced his trousers.
289. Please excuse my daughter from school today she has to catch up on her homework you have given her!
290. I didn't go to class yesterday because I got lost.
291. In our PE classes we are required to wear our hair up. One day this gurl in my class had refused to put her hair up. When the PE teacher asked her about it she replied: "I'm not allowed to put my hair up, I have strep throat and my doc says I have to sweat it out."
292. Hi my mum is an art teacher she heard this one once:- Miss at the weekend I went to my nans in Yorkshire and we stayed in a caravan. I left my work in there and yesterday she died, the caravan was sold with my work in it sorry.
293. Sorry Johnny was not at school yesterday he had diari (crossed out), diaher (crossed out), diree (crossed out), oh just forget it, He had the ****S!
294. One time I was late for class and I said; I had to go to the bathroom and to top it off I placed a piece of toilet paper on my shoe and to make it stick I put peanut butter on it then sprayed it with fart spray. (it worked but I got suspended for not seeing it on my shoe)
295. Sorry I am late for class. My foot got stuck in the toilet when the toilet paper was stuck I had to push it down with my foot.
296. A UFO crash-landed in front of me on my way to school this morning. It ran out of gas and they needed my homework to power their ship home. (It never worked, but the teachers always had a good laugh and would give me an extension.)
297. I actually used this in 6th grade. First we had 2 do a country report and the first 2 pages where due and the day before. I had my 7 year old brother break a floppy disc and showed my teacher and told him my brother got curious and wanted 2 see what was inside.
298. I'm Sorry I don't have my homework, but my friend isn't done copying it yet.
299. I'm sorry. You see I did all my homework and put it on the counter to put in my back pack later. Then I was supposed to make my little brother dinner, but I forgot since my favorite TV show was on. Well my little brother saw this thing on the counter that looked like a really flat pancake and ate it. So you see, my dog didn't eat my homework, my little brother did.
300. I'm sorry I don't have my homework. My family got a new paper shredder and we had to see if it was working.
301. I couldn't do my homework coz I got stuck in a mine-shaft.
302. I over slept and my mom is great at calling in fake excuses for me (does it when I'm late for work too). So anyways when she called the school she hadn't thought up an excuse yet and she didn't want to say I was sick since she called me in sick the previous week. So after about 10 seconds of blankly staring at me she said , "we went to my uncle's Emu farm and Amanda got too close to the Emu and it chewed off a chunk of her hair." So then after she hung up with my school, we had to go down and get a haircut so my story would clear!!
303. This is a TRUE story- When I was in 5th Grade, my brother was 1 year old and just teething. My mom was sleeping, so he was in my room and I was watching him. I had to go to the bathroom, so I gave him a pretzel and went to the bathroom. When I got back, he had finished the pretzel and started on my reading worksheet. I said, No!, but he wouldn't listen. I turned around to give him a blank piece of loose-leaf paper, but all he would eat was my homework. I finished the work as best I could, then I put it in a plastic bag and brought it to school. Maybe because I had the NICEST teacher, or the paper was really chewed up, but she believed me. You could also chew up the paper yourself and say your sister/brother/neighbor/cat/dog ate it!
304. Hi, when I used to go to school there was a register for the school kids to give their excuses for being late. A friend of mine (Mossey) once wrote in this very register that, "on his way to school 6 baby ducks started to follow him as he walked across a field and he was unable to loose them so he had to have them follow him home and call a vet to take care of them." He still insists to this day (8 years later) that his excuse was genuine.
305. Celia was absent from school yesterday as she was mourning the death of the recently deceased hamster.
306. I did not bring my gym clothes today because last night my grandmother asked me to come over and keep her company. Unexceptionally my Nonna asked me to sleep over and I did. The next day I went in the closet to look for my gym clothes and they weren't there because it was not my closet.
307. I'm sorry Mr. / Mrs. __________ I really had to go to the bathroom and I would hate having to interrupt your lesson to leave such a great class and go then.
308. I was eating dinner when World War 3 broke out in my kitchen. The soldiers were everywhere and when I dropped my homework I lost it. I didn't have time to search for it because we had to go in a bomb shelter for the night.
309. If any of you are Chinese: Sorry it's Chinese new year and we partied all night long and then when I came back it was already 1:00!!!!!! so I had no chance to do it!!!!!
310. I cant take gym because I'm too fat to swim laps.
311. I didn't have a pencil.
312. Well, my best friend used this and it actually worked with her college English professor. She said that she was working on her paper and then got up to go to the bathroom. In the bathroom she lost one of her contacts and even though the entire floor of her dorm helped her search, they still couldn't find it. She didn't have glasses or extra contacts so she couldn't see to finish her homework. She also couldn't drive so she had to call her mom who lived two states away to come get her and take her to the eye doctor. This not only got her an extension on the paper but excused from class too! By the way, none of her story is true except for the fact that she wears contacts.
313. This homework excuse works real good. Teacher- Where is your homework? you- Well I was really hungry & it was the first thing I saw so I ate it.
314. If you don't wanna go to school, do this: If you have a heating pad turn it on and put on your forehead for about 15 minutes, that gives you a fever, then tell your mom/dad you have cramps and a fever. If they ask to feel your stomach cramp it up and then you don't have to go to school because you have a fever from the heating pad!!!! : )
315. Teacher: Why are you late? You: I had a nose bleed so had to wait till it cleared up. This works every time! I've used it lots of times! Can work for if your late for lunch, break, in the morning, anytime!
316. *TRUE STORY* Okay there was this one time when I was really really tired and I just couldn't get out of bed to go to school. I hadn't finished my homework from the nite before and I dint want to go to school AT ALL!! So I called up one of my friends and told her to act like my mom and say that I was too sick to go to school. Well she did but she didn't say I was sick. She said that my period was too heavy and I had yeast infection. I was so mad. They next day when I went to school all the teachers were looking at me like I was crazy!
317. For homework: Tell the teacher that you finished it in class yesterday and turned it in early and so the teacher would think that they lost it.
318. Never mind the dog eating my homework, the homework ate my dog! If you really want me to turn it in, I can go to the hospital and see if the paper passed the dog yet.
319. True Story. I was in grammar school, but the school didn't have any buses, and the parents had to drop the kids off at school. One day, my Mom and I were about to leave for school. I opened the door, and our cat, Smoker, came in. The only problem was that he had caught a rabbit! It was a full-grown adult rabbit, but he wouldn't let go of it or come out from under the kitchen table. With a broom and a towel and a little luck, we managed to catch them both and put them outside. I made Mom go inside school with me to tell the Principal what happened because I didn't think they'd believe me.
320. I was up so late last night I left my homework on the porch and when it rained it got messed up. But I promise I did it.
321. This guy I know had a HUGE homework assignment and he forgot till 4:00 a.m. 3 hours before school was going to be in session, he hurried to his sister's room to find some paper and the computer and he pulled some paper out and started writing. The next day after his teacher read it he said to the kid are you ok because your project was on Tampons the kid said no I wear them. Needless to say he got a 2 week extension.
322. For homework (will probably work if you are REALLY brainy): I am taking a philosophy doctorate, and my thesis is that all excuses for not doing homework on the internet are highly unreliable. To test this, I have to try them all. QED, it would defeat the object of my thesis if I were to actually complete the homework. I shall credit you when I publish my paper on the said thesis. I haven't tried it yet.... Another excuse for not doing the homework; My home is being redecorated and the paint fumes confused me, thus not enabling me to do my homework. My Math teacher once blamed getting a really easy sum wrong on paint fumes, if it worked for her I don't see why it shouldn't work for anyone else....

 

[Lord Draegon]

323. My cat died and I was too sad to go to school.
324. My homework got ripped in me bag!
325. This really worked, I had this big social studies project due, which you had to find a article out of the newspaper and have a stapled written paragraph on how it was related to your amendment. I didn't do it, so I just wrote the paragraphs and wrote fake summaries on the amendments. Then I put some glue on the page to look like there was something glued there. Then when she asked were are the newspaper articles that the paragraphs were on, I looked shocked and said, "they were there last night, they must have fallen off today." She let it go, and I got an A+.
326. One time my teacher asked why I didn't have my homework and I said because I didn't do it and he gave me an extra day to do it! But the second time I tried it it didn't work I got a Zero on the assignment.
327. Homework (this is true) - I don't have my homework miss because my dad, not realizing what it was, scribbled a naughty word on it when he was on the phone to his boss.
328. My Friend used this in the seventh grade. Sorry Tim was absent but he was thinking of Erika Crisp and he passed out... you know why. Used and it worked. Its mine I THOUGHT IT UP FOR HIM. Its also 1 week old.
329. This really happened. "I'm sorry but I didn't turn in my homework because my ******** brother used it to blow his nose." (I'm serious, he's 15 too, ugh)
330. I don't have my home work because my fish tank broke and soaked my room and my homework.
331. I don't have my home work because I left it on top of my moms car and we drove off and lost all of it.
332. I don't have my home work because my brother cleared the table and threw it away with a stack of magazines.
333. I don't have my home work because my bother and I accidentally switched note-books and he has my stuff.
334. I don't have my home-work because my brother got mad at me and tore it from under me and ripped it up and spit and it before returning it.
335. I don't have my home work because my Mom cut herself and I had to get some thing for her and the closest thing to her was my work so I tossed it to her and by the time I got the towel the work was ruined.
336. I don't have my home work because my dad accidentally took it with his folders for his work and he keeps then there so I won't get them back for a day or so.
337. I don't have my home-work because my best friend and I got in a fight and she stole my book-bag and other things.
338. Please excuse me but the power went out and we had to see so I lit a candle then it fell on my homework. (burn up your homework halfway and do the top half)
339. I am late to school because of that darn daylight savings time change.
340. I couldn't do my homework because I looked at the sun too long while I was thinking and couldn't see till I woke up.
341. Once I had some course work to hand in but I hadn't done it so I told the teacher that it was on my home computer and some on had got a magnet really close to it and it had wiped the hard drive, not only did she believe me but I got another month to do it and some help!
342. Teacher: Are you chewing gum? You: (as you pretend to cough and when you cough you drop the gum into your hand) No I am not chewing on anything Teacher: Oh well then what's in your mouth? You: My teeth And after the teacher is done asking you about your gum, next time she turns her back toward you ,you hurry up and put the gum back in your mouth.
343. True Story: I ask my students to have their parents write a note, explaining why they were missing their homework. But one kid told me that he had given his dad an invisible ink pen. He had not realized that his dad wrote the note invisibly. His story checked out false.
344. My homework ate my dog and it had to be put to sleep.
345. "Sorry I'm late, and oh yeah, I don't have my homework either!" I am a teacher so I answered, " Why don't you have your homework and why are you late?" He replied, " Well ya know how our homework was to follow all directions that we see for the next 24 hours..... " I replied "Yes....." "Well," he said, this morning I was having orange juice and I was stuck staring at the box thingy for hours because the box said concentrate, and I like didn't want to break your rule of not following the directions, and my mom wouldn't let me bring the orange juice thingy to school, so that is why I didn't have my homework!" I rolled my eyes as the student sat down. The funny thing is, that almost all orange juice boxes say "from CONCENTRATE!"
346. After being absent from college for four weeks a guy I know was called up before the dean guy. When he was asked why he missed so much college he said that his girlfriend had gotten pregnant and he had to get a job to support them. He didn't even have a girlfriend, they believed him. He missed the next month and was called up again. This time he said that his girlfriend had a miscarriage and he was too upset to go to college. It had to work.... genius!
347. I called Miss Cleo and she said I would be sick today so I didn't do the homework.
348. You: (While your mom is on the phone in deep conversation) Oh yeah Mom here's my report card (full of F's and D's)!! Can you sign it? Mom: Sure honey... (Without looking at your horrible grades)
349. Please excuse Megan K. from class today, she was sick and she barfed. Not only did she barf... but she pooped all over her barf! Then the dog came along, thought that Megan K. was trying to communicate with the dog and the dog pooped all over Megan K.
350. Dear Gym Teacher, My son cannot participate in today's class for he strained his back after carrying me over a puddle.
351. Best Homework excuses:
Write one side leaving it ending in the middle of a sentence, then oh dam I've left the other part at home.
My printer ran out of ink.
My computer crashed!
My disk wont open.
I've forgotten it, can I bring it tomorrow? A week later: I think I've lost it miss!
I left it in my shirt and my mum put it in the washing machine.
352. One time I was late for lunch and I said that the bell I didn't hear the bell go of so she let me go. One thing it was at the beginning of the 2nd part of my half block and there isn't any bell.
353. My parents are divorced so we are going to a class every night for changing families. So I wasn't able to finish my homework.
354. Well I didn't do my homework because my little sister who was just born slobbered all over it and the I couldn't make it out. Then she must have crawled out of bed and ate my pencil because in the morning when I went to try and make it out again it was gone.
355. I'm, in third year of high school but in first year a guy in my friend's class was half an hour late for the first class one day. He walked into class announcing: "Sorry I'm late; my clothes wouldn't match!" He got away with it as well.
Last year this same guy and a group of his friends thought it would be great if they all bleached their hair. This lead to a series of disasters. The guy I mentioned left the bleach on too long so all his hair fell out. He used this as an excuse so all the teachers let him wear a baseball cap in class for a few weeks which is usually not allowed!
A couple of weeks ago I had to go to the loo in between classes to adjust my thong and get something out of my hair (NO IDEA how it got there!) making me late for my class. I said that I went to the loo 'coz I didn't feel well and had friends asking me how I was for the rest of the lesson....hehe!!
356. Teacher: "Where have you been? You've missed a whole period!" Female student: "You mean I'm pregnant?!"
357. Please excuse Bobby from school for the entire week. He has contracted a venereal disease and might spread it around.
358. This works all the time in Israel: "Someone left a bag on a street bench so the police blocked-out the entire block because they think it might have an explosive charge in it, and my bus had to take a serious detour through some really slow traffic." ...And half the times it's true.
359. Teacher: Why where you late? Student: I ran outa bus tickets. My bro actually used this one and it worked!
360. One day I was really fed up with some problems to the point that I didn't go to school. The next day I was still upset, but I still showed up to classes. One of my teachers asked me why I was absent the previous day. Since I was still in a bad mood, I told him in a deep threatening voice, "I was was absent because of personal reasons I don't want to discuss." There was a silence, then he shook my hand and said, "Marry the girl." It caught me by surprise. I ended up smiling the rest of the day.
361. Skipping a test: Walk in half an hour late and use the old "My mom didn't leave me any change for the bus ticket and I had to walk" excuse. Then - "You mean I don't have any time left to do the test??? And after I studied so hard! That's so unfair!". I'm gonna try this out tomorrow. Wish me luck...
362. Sorry I didn't come to school yesterday. You (the teacher) were sick yesterday.
363. I was late for school because when I was running I tripped over a sprinkler.
364. A boy in my class at secondary school was late for school every day. He decided he was bored of the everyday excuses and so wrote in the late book; ' I was late because I had a dream that my alarm clock had turned into a chicken'. He was also known to have written 'well it was either get to school on time with no coursework or get to school late with coursework'.
365. In my school in Britain the teachers don't believe most of the excuses you tell them, so it was hardly surprising that my teacher didn't believe this excuse that my friend told her... "While I was printing of my homework the dog ate the printer miss." "You don't have a dog," the teacher replied. "Well, I ate the printer miss." "Why?" "Lack of food miss!"
366. My Brother actually used this once, "I was late for school today because my brother replaced my milk in my cereal to Crazy Glue and my mouth stuck together and we needed to melt the glue." They actually accepted it because it was such a Creative excuse.
367. (Actually used in my grade 11 creative writing class) Me: I was sitting there proofreading my essay at my computer when a throng of rabid turtles came and abducted both my computer and my printer. Teacher: I would think that you would have been able to catch up to a bunch of turtles. Me: You'd think so, but I was never very good at running, and these were some very fast turtles. (At this point my teacher burst out laughing and ended up giving me an extension, claiming that I was probably the most imaginative student that he had ever taught).
368. I did finish my homework but I left it at home and my hamster got it.
369. TRUE STORY --> (high school) One day, I had hockey practice in the morning for my school team, so I had to bring most of my equipment and my hockey stick to school. My locker is very small, and I didn't want to carry around my equipment with me all day, so my last choice was to keep it in one of my teacher's classroom for the day. (let's call this teacher Mr. X) My homeroom teacher (Mr. Z.) was very strict about being late in his class. I was waiting outside of Mr. X's classroom for 10 minutes, waiting for him to arrive. At 8:30 (the time I'm supposed to be in Mr. Z's class) he finally arrived. I asked him if I could keep my equipment in his room, and he said yes. By this time, it was 8:35 and I had to be in assembly. I told Mr. Z in assembly that I was late because I was waiting for Mr. X to show up so I could ask him if I could leave my equipment in his room. He didn't believe me, so I told him to ask Mr. X about it. He did, and Mr. X told him exactly what happened. Mr. Z still didn't like the idea of my being late for class, even though I had proof for why I was late, so he told me that either I could get a late slip (resulting in a detention) or pay $1 which would go to charity. Not wanting to have to be stuck in detention, I paid the dollar!
370. Well I was late to school today because it was really hot making the molecules on the road stretch making the journey to school longer.
371. Teacher: Where is your homework? You: Miss! I was walking along and aliens landed in front of me and took my homework, I got it back, I had to beat them with a handy screwdriver! Teacher: So where is your homework? You: Steve took it... Teacher: Where's Steve? You: On the moon.... the aliens took Steve.
372. Sorry But I won't be able to come to school today because well u see my dog died and then my cat then my little brother flushed my fish down the toilet and the bird was eaten by the cat before it died and well u get the story. So we'll be out buying new pets.
373. You say that your screaming caterpillar ate your homework. It worked for me.
374. I didn't do my science home work one time, and I told my science teacher that I didn't get a chance to do my home work because my grandpa had a stroke. She actually believed me and felt sorry for me. And told me to hand it in when ever I had the chance. Then I went back and told her I lied and she was hysterically laughing. It might not sound funny but it was to me.
375. I was walking to school and I walked past a bank when a robber came out and tried to shot me, but he missed and shot my book bag. My book bag caught on fire because the bullet hit my flammable perfume.
376. (I actually used this one) I was about to do my homework but then the dog peed everywhere in the car so the paper I was gonna do my homework with was the paper I had to clean it up with.
377. My homework ate my dog!
378. An excuse for not having your homework (this has worked for me on more than one occasion... sometimes it's been true, sometimes I just haven't felt like coming up with a better excuse): "My mother cleaned my room yesterday, without my permission, while I wasn't home, and she threw out all my papers that weren't on my desk and now I can't find anything in there!"
379. One time at college I didn't fancy going to class so to get out of it I said that I had to go and pick my brother up from school as he had broke his arm, the funny thing is we live about 2 minutes from the school, my brother was too old for school and I couldn't even drive, plus my teacher knew this and saw me having a driving lesson the day before and she didn't even question it. I'm actually off work at the moment lying saying I have diarrhea and most of it is blood.
380. My bird was out and I was doing my homework and she stole my paper and flew out the window.
381. I didn't do my homework because I didn't feel like it.
382. Please excuse my daughter from school yesterday. She was in traffic and had to use the bathroom real bad. She pooped in her panties bathroom and had to come home and change.
383. "Jonny, this is the 8th time that you didn't do your homework this week!" "I know, you see the problem is I tried to go onto WordPad but that didn't work so a sign came up that said connect to AOL... and you know I started chatting and stuff and then a hacker came onto my account and well the whole computer shut down, and I can't write because when the computer shut down it went on fire and it exploded and it burned my fingers so now I have no fingers... so therefore I cant write or do tests."
384. Mom I can't go to school. I have to go to the bathroom instead.
385. I was in my dorm and thought for some reason my class was at 2 pm (when it was really at 1). I remembered at 1:45, and rushed to class as fast as I could. To make matters worse, there was an exam that day! I explained the situation to my professor, and he said, "I don't usually allow students to make up exams" but let me take it later that day!
386. Mom: Where's your homework? You: (in a sad voice) Oh mommy it was horrible! Some mean ol kids raided my back pack and took my stuff! Look!
387. The guy I like actually used this excuse when he came in late. He lives about 5 or 6 miles from our school. He said he'd ridden his skateboard to school and he was about an hour late! It was hilarious!
388. This is good school excuse. I told the people in the office I stopped to help an old lady change a flat tire and she hit me in the head with a tire iron. It helps if you recently hit your head and have a knot you can use as proof. They thought it was so original they just told me to go to class.
389. Here's a good school excuse, say that when you took a shower that morning the doorknob came off in your hand and your parents had already left the house. I had the people at school call my dad and he confirmed that when he came back home he had to break down the door so I could get out.

 

[Lord Draegon]

390. When I was a kid I forgot to do a homework assignment and when asked by the teacher the next day I told her I was dead last night and could not do my homework.
391. This is one have used about ten times. When you forget an essay say that you were working on the essay and someone (parent, sibling, friend) walked past with a drink in their hand and they tripped and got the computer wet and it exploded. This works every time.
392. Reason for not having assignment: I dropped the disk in the toilet. A TRUE STORY!
393. My grandma died...again.
394. My laptop ate my homework.
395. I got hungry and ate my home work.
396. Sorry teach, I wasn't here for the last 6 months because my mom said that I had to go to china to give my uncle some American food to live off of. Can you believe this is a true story my teach actually bought it hint hint - she was Chinese!!!
397. Put tape over your 2 writing fingers the day you have a big test and say you jammed your fingers playing basketball and can't write.
398. My daughter couldn't go to school yesterday because my mother died and we had to cremate her. My daughter was too upset.
399. Sorry, but I don't have my homework because when I was working last night my bird was out flying around and crapped on it.
400. After my friend and I had skipped a science class her fathers note read : Please excuse Kate from Mr. Smiths third period science class as she was "puking in the bathroom" Tom Moore P.S. Ya I didn't believe it either!
401. My desk fell apart and all my homework was crushed this morning!
402. Teacher: Why are you so late? You: Well, thing is, my toaster's really old-fashioned and it takes AGES to heat up!
403. Paint your nose green and shout out silly phrases, have a friend say you have a green nose sickness. That is how you get out of p.e.
404. I was walking to school when the aliens came down and abducted me, they fed information into my brain which made my brain bigger and bigger until it exploded and it weighed more than 4 solar masses thus forming a black hole I got sucked into it and I traveled faster than the speed of light causing me to create my own friction on myself which superheated me and turned me into plasma I exploded into another dimension and by the time I got back from the other dimension I was late for school. Tell the teacher this and they'll be to confused to give you detention.
405. On the day that my chemistry term paper was due, I realized that I had left the 50 page report sitting in my printer tray at home. When my teacher asked me where it was, I responded, "Oh, that? Its not important. But if you must know, It died two days ago." The next day, when I brought it in , I said, "Miracles can happen! My paper rose again on the third day! Praise the Lord!" -- I received full credit.
406. My daughter will not be in class today because she cracked her head and went to the hospital her brain will be removed and switched so please excuse her I advise you not to give her homework for about two months, thank you. This one was actually used by a 11 year old girl .
407. I didn't do my math homework because the batteries in my calculator ran out!
408. For being late: Teacher: Why are you late?? You: Well you see my family and I just bought a dog.. and this morning when I woke up my dog was lying on the floor... dead! (go in to details how he had died and the exact place and stuff like that) the teacher gave me detention for 2 months for lying to her later the teacher had called my mom to see if it was true.. and it was! She was sooo embarrassed she let me go for detention and now she believes what ever I say! (true story)
409. My sister fused the house with her hair dryer and my alarm clock was reset.
410. I did my homework but I woke up late and I forgot it by my computer.
411. For school/homework excuses: When I was in 9nth grade geometry honors, the teacher didn't really check our homework. Sometimes she would glance over it to make sure we did all of it, but usually you could get away with stuff. I did the following on many occasions: I hate proofs, especially two column proofs, but I don't particularly like paragraph proofs either. Anyway, if the teacher doesn't really grade your homework you can usually write a paragraph proof that goes something like "I have no idea how to prove this. I'm completely stumped." One time, I put "I really don't feel like proving this right now." The teacher looked directly at it, circled it, and gave me full credit on the homework.
412. Here's how my Spanish teacher checked homework: He handed out calendars for each month. Every day we had homework, he would walk around to see that we had it, then stamp that day on the calendar. I guess one day he was feeling rushed or lazy, but the girl that sat next to me hadn't done her homework, but she happened to have a sheet of old homework layin' around, so the teach just walked by and stamped without looking at it.
413. Teacher asks you why you haven't got any books. You say, "I left them in school and the school was set on fire by people." (this really happened to me. My school was set on fire by vandals and loads of stuff was destroyed)
414. Sorry I was late for school, but my mom would not let me out of the house until I flossed my cat.
415. (This is true) In my 9th grade English class, we had to do this big long essay about respect and common courtesy and behavior, because we were loud that day. Well that Jesse came over and took it out of my printer and said that if I wouldn't let him watch TV. that he would eat it. I didn't believe him, he ate half of it.. When I told that to my English teacher, he told me I was crazy and to go sit down. (I did not get to make it up :|)
416. In 7th grade, This girl was late for 3rd period P.E., and when she finally showed up for class her excuse was " I forgot I had class."
417. Please excuse Gordy from school today, he left his brain on the subway.
418. Once our homework for P.E. was to bring a tennis ball to school (to play tennis), but my dog chewed it up. Therefore I could use the excuse "My dog Ate My Homework!"
419. True: I did my homework on the toilet and my father used it for toilet paper.
420. Please excuse my son TJ from P.E. today. Saturday he was outside playing football and he lost his foot. We have been searching all over for it but we still haven't found it.
421. When I was in grade 6, I was usually late getting back to school after lunch, and usually I got a detention for it. So one day I was late again and as usual my teacher asked me why I was late, not thinking I told him that our furnace broke and the toothpaste was frozen so I had to go next door and wait for it to thaw. Well he laughed so hard he told me if I could keep coming up with excuses as good as that I won't get another detention, and he was right!!!
422. This one time when I was in class, this dude didn't have his homework. As always, Mrs. Jones asked, "Teaky, why don't you have your homework?", He said, "Well last night when I had gotten done with the assignment, I had laid it down beside me. My baby sister came over to me. When I looked up, she had it all in her mouth and was all eaten and chewin' it". Then this other time Teaky didn't have his homework again, and this other dude named Niko was like, "Hey Teaky, did your sister eat it again?!!" The whole class bust out laughing!!!!!
423. If you don't want to do your homework, present a load of random letters in the Windings font to your teacher and say that you are sorry that your PC is broken and that is all it will print out!
424. This 1 really works! The night before you have school the next day you go to your parents and say, "Mommy/Daddy (in your sick voice) I have a stomach ache. Then at 10 pm to 3 o'clock am, flush the toilet then get back in bed. 5 minutes later flush the toilet again. Do it one more time and then go into your parents room and say" Mommy/Daddy (in your sick voice) I have diarrhea for the 4th time. They will end up letting you stay home from school. I did that on 1/6/03.
425. My dog keeps mistaking my homework for the neighbors cat... by the way my cat is blind.
426. My son was off school today because I told him to clean his room. It was very messy and took him all day.
427. I didn't do my work because you said it was optional.
428. Please excuse Jim today he is constipated and he is stuck on the potty.
429. For Art if you must draw something: Sorry I left for the bathroom and my cousin who is not right in the mind put it in his mouth and swallowed it. I couldn't do it again because we were just about to leave the farm where I had drawn it and my inspiration left me.
430. This was used by a kid in the 5th grade: Please excuse Shadi for ****ting on the floor, he couldn't reach the toilet.
431. I'm late all the time/ miss school frequently because I am anemic. I am pale from this, not from being up all night partying. This is why I yawn, this is why I am tired. It is not because I drank too much and slept too little.
432. Any excuse in the world, however crazy, will work at school if you are a female, smiling sweetly at a male teacher; trust me, I have used the maddest excuses on my male teachers for three years and never got a detention. I have done everything, including 'Aliens landed on Earth, took me hostage, stole everything I had including my carefully done paper, then released me just in time for school, returning everything except the paper'. I tried that one a female teacher once for a dare, and she gave me an A for Imagination.
433. I was absent from school last week because I was bitten by a snake and died, but luckily I was reincarnated this morning.
434. (True) My mom made chicken wings, its my sisters favorite, she was so excited she ate 2 at the same time and she started chocking on them. We took her to the hospital. I tried doing the homework but I was so worried about her I couldn't do it. (try crying)
435. so I'm 12 and I stole 42 pens from a teacher and all I did was say my friend did it. (teachers never bust squealers)
436. I've used this one so many times... tell them that you will print it after class and hand it in before the day is done. Then go to the them the next day and say, "I came to your office but you weren't there." It works 8 out of 10 times. The other 2 out of 10 doesn't work cause they say they were there all day.
437. Limp around all day then when you get to P.E., have a friend pass by and say oh yeah he/she has been limping around all day. Then make up a story on how you hurt yourself! Worked for me!!!
438. One time I was late for P.E. (about 15 min. late) so our class was already done stretching and when we showed up my teacher was about to give us extended study when I finally said that we were late because we were getting help with Math from our teacher and she didn't have any more late passes.
439. I USED THIS REALLY: I couldn't come to school today, my bus driver had to much Viagra and ran off the road.
440. "I couldn't practice my tuba because the cows wouldn't give milk."
441. You: There really is no excuse for missing my homework. Teacher: Your really usually filled with them. You: Well I didn't have time to check the excuse website last nite, sorry!
442. Please excuse my son from school as he is suffering from a hangover!
443. I don't have my book bag today because last night my hamster got out of the cage and died in my book bag!
444. Absolutely true story!! Once in grade 3 I had to use this excuse: Sorry I was late Ms./Mr./Mrs. (teacher) I was handcuffed to a tree and I couldn't reach the safety switch. I ts true my friends and I were playing a game and one of my friends brought handcuffs to school (metal ones not the crappy plastic ones) and when the bell rang they just left me there and my hands were too far apart to reach the switch.
445. I have poop that won't come out so I can't go to school.
446. True story (my older brother used it): I am unable to turn in my homework because my little brother tore it up. (I really did, I was really pissed of at him, but it was a long time ago so I forgot why).
447. Teacher: Where is your homework? Student: Still in my pen Miss.
448. My brother was caught selling cigarettes at school that he had taken from his dad. His excuse was that by selling them his father was smoking less and less likely to die!!
449. My homeroom is a mobile classroom, you know, cheap walls, stuck in the middle of our school parking lot. This was because we had an overabundance of students and did not have enough rooms. Anyway, it is the science lab so we did not have desks, rather, cubby holes against the wall. We were instructed that when we left, we were not allowed to come back for anything. So, the convenient excuse for all students in my class was "I left it in my cubby,". Well, one day, a student notorious for not handing in work told our Math teacher "I left it in my cubby." This must have been the 34th time he used that excuse in this class. Without faltering, the teacher snapped back "Go get it!!!!!" "But I'm not allowed," said the student. My teacher wrote him a signed note to give to our homeroom teacher, and marched him over to the mobile classroom. Upon searching his cubby while both teachers looked on, he said "hmmmm, I know its in here...." Twenty minutes later all the papers were on the floor and both teachers were pawing through it. He eventually admitted he never did it. He got three detentions , one for lying to a teacher, one for continuing the charade for 30 minutes, and one for disrupting both classes.
450. I didn't do my homework because my cat peed on it.
451. One day me and a friend were late to general music class, we were late because we were talking about the NFL playoffs from that weekend and lost track of time completely, so we got to class and our teacher ask for a pass, we didn't have one, so we went to the office and asked for a pass, they asked why we were late and that question totally caught us off guard, we simply replied that we were talking to our science teacher about our assignment. And it worked like a charm!!
452. Excuse for not coming to class or work: (true story of a friend of mine)... I can't come in today. My upstairs neighbor's cat is stuck in the ceiling of my bathroom and we can't get him out. (Followed by, we tried to get to the cat by standing on the sink but that fell down and now there is a cascade of water down the wall.)
453. Actual excuse I had for not being in class... In college I had physics on M, W, F. One Wednesday, I slept in past my morning physics class thinking it was Tuesday and I didn't have class until the afternoon.
454. Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Me: Dunno. At this point the teacher just turned around and carried on with class without saying a word.
455. This is the funniest thing that I ever did. I had to read a passage which started 'One of the main reasons...' Instead I sat silently in my seat. My teacher thinking that I didn't understand read the first word, 'one' I then replied 'of' and waited until she said 'the' again I said the next word 'main' This actually worked for the full sentence until my very pissed off teacher made me leave the class.
456. I actually used this around Christmas time: I was about an hour late to 1st period and I came in and said that my mom had blown a fuse with the Christmas lights which made my alarm clock turn off and I didn't wake up for school on time... -------------------------------------------- I was in drama and had a line test (had to memorize all my lines) and my excuse for not knowing all them was that I was sick (and I actually was sick a week earlier, but I'm such a good actress that my sickness carried into the following week), so I told him I was sick and that I was on medication that made me drowsy so I was sleeping all the time and didn't have time to study my lines........ my theory is, if I can fool a DRAMA teacher with those lines, they GOTTA work! )
457. This excuse is best for the last two trimesters/semesters. "I have to go to court every Friday." That way the teacher thinks that you are trying to straiten up, and will give you a little leeway.
458. One day I was late for school and I forgot I had an exam that morning, my teacher wouldn't let me sit my exam so I told him my bus got bogged and we had to wait for another bus to pick us up, he felt bad and let em sit the exam the next day.
459. This kid in my math class actually did this: We always stapled all of our homework to a little slip every Monday (the day we turned it all in) and so one time when he didn't do his homework, he stapled his biology notes to it and made up some scores for his assignment. The teacher didn't even notice, and he got an A. He has done that ever since. I wonder if he
ever even does his homework anymore?
460. In my English class, everyone dislikes our teacher, so one day, we decided that someone was going to go to the bathroom, call the school from a cell phone, and ask to talk to their "second cousin" (our teacher). One day we did it, but the kid forgot his name, so we are going to try it very soon! Then the office would call the teacher up to take a phone call, while we did whatever we wanted.
461. Well, my cat had diarrhea and **** all over my homework.
462. I had lice yesterday and it took 2 days to get rid of.
463. This morning my pet jumped out of the window and I had to chase it, but when I caught it school was already over. [my stupid teacher believed it]
464. I teach and received this excuse from a student who returned to school late after lunch: I was at home helping my little brother polish his models, sorry! Won all-time top honors with me after 18 years of teaching.
465. I am sorry I wasn't in school yesterday, my brother wouldn't wake up so I had to stay home and keep trying to wake him up.
466. When your teacher asks why you couldn't finish your homework, tell him/her that the power went off because of a mix up paying the bill and with no lights or computers you couldn't see to do it.
467. Excuses for getting out of P.E.:
1: I am sorry. My child suffers from acute schizophrenia and entering the changing rooms could permanently change his/her personality.
2: ____ has currently got a case of Icantbebothereditus and cannot undertake in P.E. today. Any form of exercise could be fatal. If exercise should occur, consult a GP immediately.
3: (only works if you are a girl and have a male P.E. teacher) ____________ is pregnant. If you make her do P.E., I'll tell the Head it's yours.
4: Please excuse ________ from P.E. as he/she is radioactive. Need I say more?
5: If you make me do P.E., I'll sue the school for harassment.
468. For getting out of detention 4 missing home work:
1. Rip a page out of your book, crumple it and then put it in your pocket.
2. Tell your teacher that it ripped out of your book.
3. Do the home work when you get the chance and then hand it in.
469. When you are asleep in school and the teacher wakes you up, quickly cross your hands like you are playing and quickly say, "And thank you for my teacher. Amen" This really works!
470. One morning I was in a really big rush and I grabbed my newly-washed PE kit from the laundry basket. When I took it out my bag the changing room was filled with a horrible smell. My excuse for why I couldn't wear my PE kit was: "My cat likes to sit in our laundry basket, and when I took my PE kit from it this morning I didn't notice that...er...it used the laundry basket as a toilet!" The teacher burst out laughing and let me off. PHEW!

 

[Lord Draegon]

471. Yesterday my mom made chicken wings for dinner and when dad was eating them he chocked on one and it was stuck in his throat. So we rushed to the hospital and I tried to do my homework at the hospital but with all the noise in the halls I just couldn't. I'm sorry.
472. Ok... My friend told me about this happening... A group of people decided to skip school for whatever reason. They went to a restaurant that was near the school and asked the waitress to call them out sick. She did it and the school believed her...
473. Last Week I was studying and my friend's dog bit me and sent me to the ER.
474. This an excuse that works every time with my teachers. Miss: Where's you're homework? You: I can't get it there's a spider in my locker and I have a phobia of spiders. I'll give it to you whenever the spider moves away. ^_^
475. Instructor: Why weren't you at dance practice? You: You know it isn't safe to ride a bike at night.
476. This one works, I used it! I don't have my homework Mrs./Mr.______ because my pen exploded in my backpack destroying my homework.
477. I was late to school because a cow was laying in the middle of the road blocking traffic.
478. One time I did not wanted to go to school I put all my clean cloths on my dirty cloths basket that way my mom would not make to go to school . And it worked!
479. It's against my religion to do homework on a day ending in "y".
480. Teacher: Are you chewing gum??? You: Um no, I just have a sore jaw.
481. You: Sorry I got a bad report card Mom, its probably because the stress that has been going around, Its common u know. Mom: Then why don't you stop spending time with your friends? You: That's the only thing that helps me unwind, being with friends also helps with my social abilities.
482. This is one someone I know actually got to use: "I haven't been in school the last two weeks because you ran me over!"
483. I did my homework, really I did It's just that I was followed by spies on the way to school, and I had to eat it to stop it falling into enemy hands!
484. MOM: What are you doing outside when your homework isn't done? KID: I think I need
a hearing aid I thought you said to go outside when your homework isn't done.
485. I was late for class one day because as I was taking a bite out of a chocolate cupcake in the hand of my friend whose locker is next to mine another friend of mine walked up and smeared it all over my face and it got in my hair, on my clothes, shoes, in my locker, my friend's locker next to mine, on my face and all down my friend's shirt. The friend who shoved the cupcake in my face ran merely off to class as the bell rang and I and the owner of the cupcake stood speechless staring at each other. We went to class with the cupcake still on us
and the teacher allowed us to be late and to go wash the cupcake off as our fellow classmates laughed hysterically at us.
486. Please excuse my sorry ass son from P.E. today. Last night while he was jacking off to Britney Spears, he hurt his arm.
487. My friend actually used this he stuck his un-finished homework in his mouth ripped it up (or chewed it) and said his dog ate it my other friend and I started cracking up!
488. Please excuse my daughter for being late on Tuesday. A pigeon flew into her open window and flew around her room messing up everything and we had to chase it out of the house.
489. This is an excuse I used to get out of a English final (I am Mexican and was taking a English as second language class)- "Professor, no puedo tomar el examen porque te oro." ("Teacher, I cannot take the exam because I hate you.") The teacher did not understand Spanish and never made me take the exam. Que suerte! I would not try this unless you are assured that the teacher knows no Spanish.
490. I couldn't turn in my homework because I was thinking to hard to actually do it that I couldn't think to turn it in.
491. It flew out the bus window!
492. When I was in middle school, I was in the journalism class, along with several other geniuses who either forgot to do or lost their homework. I never managed to find a good excuse, but one of my fellow journalists would infallibly use the excuse, "Oh, I had yearbook/newspaper work to do." It turns out that he not only got off the hook, but became a teacher favorite for this excuse. Go figure.
493. One day I was late for school and it had been raining and I was late so I used the excuse that I fell in a puddle and had to change. (this works only if it has been raining)
494. When asked why he was late, a boy in my class said "but I'm not late... I'm early for tomorrow!"
495. Once at the elementary school I went to, a girl was asked to go to the office to get a manila folder. When she got there she asked for a 'Vanilla folder'! After a few minutes of the staff asking her if the teacher didn't want a strawberry or chocolate folder, she got what she was sent for... needless to say she was extremely embarrassed.
496. A kid in my math class did this once. He didn't do his homework that night so he squirted water in his backpack all over old homework. He told the teacher that his water bottle exploded and she said don't worry about it and he could make it up later. She really thought that his water bottle exploded!
497. This really happened please excuse my daughter as she stabbed herself with a craft knife in her left ankle when cutting cardboard.
498. Mom: Why has your gerbil got a piece of your report? You: Well, see I was about to give it to you, um, but I got distracted by the ur, dog, and he ran at me and I was so shocked my hand flew back and the gerbil um, stuck his head out of the cage and ate it. Yea, that's what happened.
499. I apologies for (your name) 's lateness to school today it was my fault, I needed his/her help to strap on our dog's prosthetic leg. Sometimes when the dog is not feeling too corporative I have trouble attaching it to the little stump that she has left. It wont happen again. Thank you sincerely (parents name).
500. I can't come to school today my dog ran away and he walks me to school.
501. Once, in second form at High School, I told my math teacher that I hadn't done my homework because I had to fly to Stockholm to collect my Nobel Prize for Literature.
502. This is for if you forgot my home work. You erase the work you've writhen in you agenda, you erase it and writhe it for the next week and say to your teacher I did not do it it's for next week I got the proof here look in my agenda. Real story I tried it before really works.
503. This really happened last week. I m in 7th grade and I was just getting dressed after gym. A kid stole another kids towel and he kept denying it. I was called in as a witness. It took 45 minutes as the 2 teachers argued with the thief. Then the teachers asked us to make a statement. I wrote down my statement and I purposely stalled to talk to my friends in the hallway buz I new I had a test in my LA class. Well my excuse for the class was that I had spent 20 minutes deciding to remain anonymous for the statement. SHE BELIEVED ME!
504. One day, I got home from school, and I realized I had forgotten my keys! I knocked on the door, and no one answered. So, I knocked again, and no one answered still! I sat on the porch, and I did my homework since there was nothing else to do until my mother got home from work. About a half an hour later, I decided to go to the back door, and try a trick I can do to open the door, and it was then when I discovered that the back door was open, and my mom was home! How clumsy can one person get!
505. This is a true story!: My teacher asked us to bring in a atlas, I didn't I told my teacher our bookcase had been plastered into the wall, naturally he didn't believe me so he phoned home and it was true! The builders had used wet plaster and it has dripped over the bookcase and it had been covered!
506. When a teacher asks why you are late, just reply with the question, "Or is it possible that everyone else is early?"
507. I was once late for school because I got such a fright when my alarm went off that I hit my head on the wall next to bed and knocked myself out. I woke up an hour later with a sore head and a lump the size of an egg.
508. I had left my D&T homework too late and decided to rush it the night before it was due. We had to visit our auntie as we hadn't seen her for ages. Well, during the three hour stay, our car was stolen - with my homework in it! My mum ended up writing a note to the teacher saying what had happened. He let me off due to the fact that it was the best excuse he had heard. He didn't believe me, but it actually happened.
509. Well, I had to drive all the way to school in our old truck, and the heating stopped working, and we got cold, and my daddy couldn't concentrate so we ran off the road into a ditch. Then we had to call a tow truck but we didn't have a phone so we had to hitchhike, and by the time we got to a phone, school was starting! So we called a tow truck, and it towed the car out of the ditch. Then we drove all the way here. And I forgot my homework in the car, because I was so upset that I had almost died. And I'm sorry about being late. (This actually happened to us... and I just did my homework the next day).
510. Actually happened... I showed up at school the next day with my whole foot in a cast-like thing, with 6 stitches for the outside of my toe, and 3 or 4 for the inside! The cut went all the way to the bone, severing the tendon.
P.S. Yes, it was probably the "stupidest" wound I've ever accidentally inflicted upon myself. (It was back in 1997, I was 17, and hadn't had the sword very long at that time) However, I do still have the sword, but it stays in the sheath 99.5% of the time, and I DON'T take it out if I'm barefoot. ;-)
511. I tried doing my homework I swear but then it got to hard so I asked my parents for help and they tried it but it was just so hard that they took it to work to get some help.
512. An excuse for math teachers; (my own math teacher said that he would accept this excuse. In the last lesson before I left) I had just finished my homework, when I decided to try to divide something by zero. This resulted in my book catching fire.
513. I got In School Suspension because someone threaten me to do it in front of the teacher or else they would beat me up.
514. True story. I live in Tucson, Arizona and have a cousin who is an excellent swimmer so she often competes in Phoenix. One weekend I was finishing my S.S. report while riding in her car. When she dropped me off at home I left my report and notebook in the front seat of her car. When I realized on Monday morning that I was missing them it was too late, she had gone to Phoenix for the week and, seeing as how ALL of my info was in her car, I got an extension.
515. In social studies I had a power point presentation due that I had not completed. Since the unfinished presentation was on the disk in my back pack and my home computer I simply snapped the disk and case and gave them to him with the explanation of "really, I thought that a case was enough to protect my disc on the bus". It worked too and I got an extension.
516. I can't come into school today because it's against my religious principles.
517. Sorry I was late for school miss, I squirted the toothpaste too much and spent all morning getting it back in the tube.
518. A tornado came and destroys my house with my homework in it.
519. Sorry I didn’t come to school the past few days because I got hit at the head then I suffered amnesia and my relatives were trying to help me remember.
520. When asked why I was late for class I responded, the bell rang before I got here.
521. Sorry I have not got my homework because my baby sister got sick all over my work.
522. I'm sorry I was late for school today but my mom lost her car... but this morning she found it.
523. If you have to run for football, like us we had to jump and roll also in this long ass conditioning period and I pretended that I landed on my head wrong and my neck hurt, I didn't have to run after that but the trainer did have a nice long look at my neck to make sure I was alright.
524. I used this excuse a lot when I'm late for school: "I'm not Late I'm just early for tomorrow!!"
525. The reason I don't have my big, important project, which I put off for the last night goes like this: Last night when I was finishing up my homework, my dog came over and threw-up on my homework and then ate it. When I was trying to get him to barf it back up, 12 shiny leprechauns came crashing through my wall on magical unicorns. Then they stole my dog and tried to get away over a beautiful rainbow, but I grabbed my dog's leg just in time. Unfortunately then, the leprechauns sprinkled some magic pixie dust and then a giant alien mother ship took the leprechauns and unicorns along with my dog and took them off to Neverland, where they can fly freely with peter pan and the lost-boys forever.
526. "My dog has a digging addiction and buried my homework."
527. Sorry I can't go to school today I have to much homework.
528. I once got out of taking a German test by telling the teacher that I got Poison Ivy on un show able parts of my body, and I took too much Benadryl, causing me to be dreary and unable to think straight. I did get out of the test but I had to sit there quietly acting somewhat high with watery eyes for the entire period.
529. Please excuse Karen from PE today as she is having difficulty adapting to the use of her new mechanical toe which she received due to an unfortunate pogo stick accident.
530. My friend actually did this to get out of gym class after planning it all out with people at lunch: Right after changing in the locker rooms she came out limping and trying to act like she was crying which the whole time she was laughing, Teacher: "Nicci, what's wrong?" Since she was trying to cry Cheryl answered, "Nicci was putting on her pants tripped over her book bag and fell over the bench and hurt her knee." He believed it and sent her to the office with Sara not thinking that the nurse was there they went on their way but when they saw the nurse Nicci stopped and since she wasn't that good of an actor and she needed to be in pain she told Sara to kick her in her knee not really believing that Sara would do it she did with Nicci really crying. The nurse even believed her and she got out of gym for two days!
531. My friend Lynn wanted to get out of gym really bad and with her best friend Anna not
in gym because the day before she hurt her shoulder in gym class, Lynn took Anna's doctors note cut of the part with the date and what's wrong kept the part with the signature and the note saying do not return to PE class until further notice. So she copied it and printed it out making it look like a real doctors excuse and it worked, until the end of the quarter the teacher said so further must be long and she said ya it might not be for another month: This is a true story but I wouldn't recommend trying it you could get in a lot of trouble for it!!! Thanx!!!
532. At my school the teachers don't let you leave class to go to the washroom so here
is an excuse I've used: "I really gotta go to the washroom and if you don’t let me go I will have to pee my pants and then they will be all wet so I will have to wear yours *pause* Ya, um, Bye!”
533. What not to say to your teacher when you don't have your homework:
Well Mr./Mrs. (teachers name) the reason I don't have my big important project done that was due today goes something like this..... Last night when I was about to start my huge project, that I put off for the last night, my nice puppy came up to me and said, "Hey look over there you fat lazy human-its a distraction." So I turned around, but I saw nothing. When I turned back around to start my project I saw that my dog had barfed on my homework and then eaten it. While I was trying to get my dog to barf it back up Big Foot came crashing through my bedroom wall and picked up my dog in his hairy hands and quickly ran away to the world of Big Feet to eat my dog. Seeing that my dog was about to die I hopped on my 4-wheeler to watch the show. Then when we were on the outskirts of town an amazing thing happened- Godzilla came out of a lake and burned Bigfoot to a crisp using his bad flaming breath. But Godzilla didn't get the chance to eat my dog either because 15 magical dust bunnies came riding in on constipated sea horses and ate Godzilla from head to toe. Once the cannibalistic dust bunnies were done eating they gave me my dog back. On my way home from this painful ordeal I was stopped in my tracks by 6 aliens with lasers, they ordered me on their ship. On the ship they did all sorts of experiments on me and my dog, then they let me go. But by the time I got home it was 9:30 and I had to go to bed. In the morning when I woke up I couldn't do the project because I was constipated and I was taking a crap all morning. That, Mr./Mrs. (Teachers Name) is why I don't have my big important project.
534. A friend of mine is going to college. A fifteen page paper was coming due in which she had not had time to work on. Her instructor said the papers could be faxed to her on or before the due date. Which was just before Christmas. My friend faxed fifteen blank pages having a written confirmation giving her Christmas break to finish the assignment and insisting that the fax machine must not have worked. BRILLIANT HUH!
535. This one is risky, but AWESOME if done right. It got me out of my senior project in my high school economics class. We had to make a company profile. I hadn't done a damn thing by the time it was due. I turned in a binder to the teacher with nothing but a cover page. Then, I immediately asked her if she could go pick up something I had printed from the teacher's lounge. She left my binder sitting on her desk. I took it back. The next day, she told me she'd lost my company profile... she's looked everywhere for it but couldn't find it. She gave me a 100%.
536. A rabid squirrel bit me and I broke out in hives.
537. To Whom it may concern: Please excuse my daughter Kim Marie for being sick yesterday, she caught one of my bad flue, colds, and allergies. She may have to go to a different class during MATH, and SCIENCE. The doctor said that to much NUMBERS and to much SCIENCE STUFF may break my daughter's brain from to much education. THANK YOU
538. This one was written by an adult and it worked. The note went... To whom it may concern: Our digital camera is broken so David was not able to take photos of the process of preparation of his 'Flan'.
539. I remember I forgot to do my math homework, so when my teacher asked for it, I told her "was to busy watching TV." She said that wasn't very good, so I said, "What should I do when I'm chugging soda?" My teacher said I should go to bed an hour early, and I said "So should I go to bed at 3?" She thought I was being fresh, so I added "It would be a dull party if it ended at 2." She sent me to the dean's office for being "fresh." So the dean said "Did you have a party last night?" I said no, and my dean asked if I stayed up until 4, I said no, and then he asked if I had been forcing myself awake with soda, and I said "No, and I'll bet you my teacher said I didn't do my homework either."
540. Sorry that Jack missed school he was very ill after his aunt kissed him on the cheek.
541. One of my friends had a day off school, his parents are teachers but wrote this note for him: Please excuse my son from school as he had the ****s with it.

 

[Lord Draegon]

542. My friend Pat is a diabetic. One semester he decided to go on a three day beer binge with about two weeks left in the semester. Needless to say, he became very ill with a blood sugar problem and was unable to attend class for the remainder of the semester. On the night of the last day of classes, Pat and I were going into my dorm room while a professor of his happened to be having a beer with my neighbors across the hall. They had their door open. The professor saw Pat and asked him where he had been for the past two weeks. Pat decided to be completely honest with him and said that he went on a binge and got very sick. The professor said, "You went on a binge?" Pat said, "Yes." The professor said, "And you're diabetic?" Pat said, "Yes." The professor said, "You friggin' IDIOT!" and let him go.
543. One day I woke up real early and got ready for school when I was finished it was about 4:00 and I had 2 hours to go but I fell asleep and when I woke up it was 7:59 and my mom came through the door she heard me and said I'll take you to school when I got to school and in the classroom my teach said why are you late my boyfriend covers for me and says oh her house was locked when she got home and she was outside all night and her parents both have night shift and I nod my head little did she know that really happened to me.
544. Well for this one class you need your book everyday and we have homework in it everyday... just tell the teacher you took the book home to do the homework but you forgot it there, then they can't possibly get mad at you.
545. I never really liked math so since I lived on a cliff in the mountains, one day when I went to school and my teacher asked for my homework, I told him this: I was sitting out on the porch last night, doing my homework, and the biggest tarantula I ever saw came crawling out from under the porch, so as I went and got my step dad, a wind must have came and blew my homework right off the cliff. My teacher was amazed but I didn't get detention.
546. Use this if you get caught cheating on a test. I had this really old Social Studies Teacher in 6th grade. We had to take this Vocab Quiz, and I didn't study at all. So the class started the quiz. So then when my friend finishes he gives me a sheet of paper that had all the answers on it. So halfway through the test the teacher stairs right at me. I tried to look unsuspicious, so I just sat there. Then the teacher said, "I want you to sit over here". Then she grabs my papers out of my hands and sees that I cheated. My parents had to sign that I cheated on. She stapled the papers together. So then when I got home I very carefully took apart the staple. Then I gave her a sheet with 10 words that she had to sign. She was a little concerned, but not that much. Then I stapled the pieces of paper back together. It looked as if I didn't even touch the paper. Next day in the class I handed it to her and still got a good grade!! Man, these teachers really underestimate us.
547. Use this excuse if your late. I had a really bad headache this morning when I woke up so I decided not to go to school. Then the pain went away so I decided to come. My brother used this excuse and it worked.
548. A friend of mine showed up late for class and when the teacher asked where he was he
said, "I was at a restaurant and they were backed up and our order was late so by the time we got our order lunch was already over so we quickly ate it and rushed back." And when the teacher asked him for the excuse he handed her the receipt.
549. I didn't get my homework done because my dad had me picking all the tomatoes from the garden because it was supposed to frost.
550. I didn't get my homework done because I had to pick dandelions till dark so that my dad could make wine.
551. Sorry I'm late, teacher but I took another bus to school and I ended up in an another school.
552. I actually used this excuse, at my previous school. PE Excuse :- Teacher: Where's your note? Pupil: I just gave it to you? Teacher: No you didn't! Pupil: Yes I did, I think you have been hit in the head with too many balls! Teacher: (Feeling
embarrassed) Just accepts this!
553. If u have forgotten your homework the best way of getting out of it is to say... sorry (sir/miss) but my cleaners thought it was rubbish and threw it away. I have tried it and it does work.
554. I didn't come to school yesterday because my alarm is plugged in the outlet and my cat unplugged the cord so my alarm didn't go off.
555. Tell your teacher: I left my work on the window sill and the window was open. I stupidly forgot that it was raining and when I came to get my work, it was soaked! Now it's drying on the radiator at home. Try it, it really works!
556. True Story: I forgot my homework in my printer (I kept telling myself to get it, up until I had to leave), and I told me English teacher this and she said too bad! It was so harsh!... like she's never forgotten anything before.
557. Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: I lost my pen.
558. If your teacher is a boring teacher (all of them are) then this is the excuse for you!!!!! Teacher: Why aren't you doing your work? Student: Because my writing arm hurts and I have a head ache. Teacher: Then go to the front office to lye down. Student in their mind ,mission accomplished.
559. Please excuse my friend and I from school we have hip hop fever.
560. My friend once didn't do his homework and when he came to school he said that he was sick all day. The next day he didn't come to school. I had faked a note for him. I was only about 11. It said Brian didn't make it to school yesterday because halfway to school he forgot his pants. Please let him go. I signed my name instead of his mothers name. Me and him got detention for a week.
561. This was used by myself and another friend. It's half true. Our homework was due, and we didn't even start it, so our excuse was that my friends dad was in hospital (True) and my friend had spent lots of time in their with her dad, and I, myself could not do my part because my friend had the sheets and she wasn't home much so we couldn't work on it. It worked and we got a week extension.
562. To get out of PE: Simply cut your shoestring slightly and tear it the rest of the way and claim that you shoestring broke and you cant tie your shoe. I tried this and it actually worked.
563. Well this one actually worked for me... I was supposed to write a paper for history class and I hadn't done it.... so I took a blank disk and chewed on it for a bit and then I cracked it open and played with that thing inside so it looked like it had been chewed... I took that disk to my teacher and through my tears I told her that my sister's dog had puppies and they were teething and apparently one bit through the disk that somehow ended up on the floor... and I got an extension.
564. My friend actually used this! Every week we had a practice worksheet and he did not do his. As the teacher was collecting them he told her that he did not understand the material ( which was adding and subtracting) and that he couldn't get there early enough to ask her for help and she believed him.
565. I was in a goat pen with my uniform and the goats ate it.
566. So one day I had an oral examination from physics. I didn't know a thing so this is what I did: I told my teacher that my neighbor (the old guy next door had a
heart attack) so me and my dad had to drive him to the hospital. We spent whole morning with him because he has no family and felt very lonely. It really worked. I even was excused from those two last hours of physics because I told teacher id like to visit him in a hospital. Just make a sad face and tell that he was like a grandfather to you and what do you know he may even die on the day of the math test. (I'm so cruel)
567. One time I didn't do my homework and I told the teacher that I left it in my textbook. So she said bring it in tomorrow. It really does work!!
568. I have tried this and it actually works!! Tell your teacher: It was my cousins birthday and I was trying to do my homework. When I went up to get a drink my little 5 year old cousin grabbed some textas and thought she would help out. I came back in and my homework was a colorful blob.
569. For not doing homework: First you have to understand this one only works if the homework you were suppose to do is not going to be graded but they wanted you to do it anyway. Oh and this got me a week of detention. TEACHER: Why didn't you do your homework? STUDENT: Do you teach me and not get paid? TEACHER: No?!. STUDENT: Then I'm not going to do homework and not get a grade! This one actually got a laugh from my classmates and they agreed, until the teacher gave me the detention. Then they all shut up.
570. Years ago, the family went to Florida for school spring break. We ran into bad weather driving back, and decided to stop early and check into a motel. Of course, that meant we missed school on Monday. My mother had no problem with that. She wrote notes for each of us that on Monday we were in no state to attend school. I've always wanted to use that excuse at work since I live in New Hampshire and work in Massachusetts. ;-)
571. This really was a true excuse from a boy in my class who didn't do his homework!! Teacher: Josh where's your homework? Josh: I forgot is because my little sister chocked on a 5 cent piece and was coughing up blood so we had to go to the hospital. Well at lunchtime me and some friends went up to his little sister and asked her if this happened and boy did Josh get into trouble.
572. "Please excuse Nolan for being late to class this morning. He and I had quite a few problems that we needed to work out. If he does this again....... please excuse his being absent from school."
573. Teacher: And why were you late? Me: Because I was outside doing homework for this class.
574. One day I told my teacher I was late for class because a dog chased me through the halls and every time I tried to run to class he'd block the door so I couldn't pass.
575. I learned a great excuse if you're ever late, you simply tell the teacher. "On the way to school our car broke down, and this is why I hate the community, because nobody helps other people!" It worked for me.
576. This works very well and is often true in college, I'm late because I was at a bar got kicked out wound up in Detox and they just let me out.
577. Excuse for missing class: "I'm sorry I missed class yesterday... My fish had just died and I cried my eyes out for it... I was really sad and that's why I wasn't able to show up for school..." If you really act it out... it will work )
578. Sorrow I forgot my homework, but my dog pissed on it and it's still in the dryer.
579. I left my homework on top of the fish tank, and then my fish ate the work and my cat ate the fish and my dog ate the cat. The dog had to go to the vets with indigestion, so now I have nothing to show for my homework. I'm so sorry.
580. This may sound a little like some of the others but this is true and it works. I skipped school for 2 weeks and phoned up to avoid letting my parents find out, my excuse was that I was suffering from food poisoning and had the ****s, I also said that my parents were on holiday so it was impossible for me to leave the house and get some medication, a week later I decided to go food shopping and saw my teacher in there when she asked me why I was there I explained that I had managed to take the medication but I managed to knock myself out for 2 days by falling down the stairs and because my parents were away no one could help me, she believed me and told the school to let me of PE for as long as I needed.
581. Well, one day, me and my mom were having an argument about me not completing my homework on time (regular teenager stuff) and I came up with a good excuse, which made her angry, because she wasn't right. So on her way out of my room, (since the door was closed and right behind her) she slammed straight into the door, face first. I was practically crying with laughter. What's even funnier, is that she stood there for about one minute. She then turned around and asked me what was so funny. This made me laugh harder. I think she failed to realize she had just walked into a door!
582. Mom I cant go to school today because I'm still recovering from the shock of almost drowning in the bath tub last night.
583. As a teacher, the best I've heard was: "The police discovered grandma's crop so we had to go to court yesterday."
584. I left my homework assignment on the bus, there's no way they can disprove it... works a charm!
585. This really happened to a friend when I was younger. A bully named John was hitting my friend and the teacher caught him and he said he was making sexist jokes about me and he deserved to be punched.

 

[The Person]

This is going to be long

Thanks for the warning. Here's another one:

Lord Draegon wasn't at school yesterday because he was busy posting 9 posts of excuses.

 

[Stylesjl]

Had to save the world from evil space monsters, can you excuse me?

 

[Pentium]

585? That is perfection.
All of them were written by (parents of) your students? I'd be glad if my teachers were Civers.

 

[Betrayed]

And the next question is.... Who the **** has enough time to read them all?

anyway

 

[Lord Draegon]

585? That is perfection.
All of them were written by (parents of) your students? I'd be glad if my teachers were Civers.

Um.. im not a teacher I just found them and put them here.
900th post only 100 more to go

 

[Dabomb18359]

Dude some of those are great but others are just more of a waste of time aside from reading all those posts.

 

[YNCS]

I gave up reading them after the first 50.

 

[SilverTip]

head..... hurts. I read the firs 4 and I gave up lol!

 

[Nobody]

once during my last year me and my freind were late for form class, and the reason why was my freind had new shoes and he didnt want to walk on the grass and get them muddy, when the teacher asked all i said was "david got some new shoes" and he laughed

 

[AL_DA_GREAT]

Man that was a lot.

 

[Stylesjl]

Please excuse me from being late, i had to read through a very long list of excuses i could use to excuse myself from being late