So, this inconsiderate jerk at work...

[Fugitive Sisyphus]

You should put Iocane powder into the soft drinks. It should work unless the thief is from Australia.

 

[Syterion]

I didn't look at the thread so this has probably been said... but you should poison it.

 

[Leonel]

In the event of a future murder investigation, I'm not suggesting poisoning it.

BUT I SURE AM THINKING IT LOUDLY!

 

[Catharsis]

I recommend you get your hands on some of Peter Logan's Exploding Paste.

 

[LucyDuke]

I remember there was a Dilbert comic strip recently where Alice has the exact same problem as you do. I'll see if I can find it...

Guess what is laminated and taped to the fridge.

http://pag.csail.mit.edu/~adonovan/dilbert/show.php?day=18&month=03&year=2007

Couple of ideas.

One. Put out a tip jar and only charge .40 for a can of pop. You will still make a profit even at that.

Two. Put a lock on the fridge.

Three. Tell people that you rubbed your genitalia on one of the cans, thus instigating soda can roulette.

Four. Consider providing free soda to your co-workers as building up positive Karma for your next life.

Five. Stop drinking pop.

1. Like I've said, I don't mind sharing. I just want to be asked, so I can keep track and not find an empty case. 2. Not an option for a communal fridge. 3. Some of these dudes might be turned on by that. They don't get (out) much. 4. I do, frequently, though since I don't buy into reincarnation the motivation isn't exactly as you suggest. 5. The most failsafe option.

Whoever it is could just be assuming that since it's an entire case of pop, that it has been put there for the enjoyment of all.

Yeah, we've been through this a few times though. When somebody wants to put something there for the enjoyment of all, they clearly mark it. Unmarked means not free for the taking.

Just buy a marker and write your name in the cans of soda.

If I'm going to go to the trouble, I want something more insidious.

It's likely either the office narcissist or the office psychopath. They're about 3% of the population, and not all of them are serial killers, some of them are corporate sharks and dent fixers.

If they're willing to take your soda, that's not all they're willing to take. Protect yourself emotionally. Work with your friends to neutralize the thief and guard each others backs.

All in humor of course....
Put a sign on the cans with a pair of eyes on them that says
"If you take my soda, I'll know."
or
put this on the fridge door.
Thought of the day: In some countries, they chop your hand off for stealing... so you have to drink with the same hand you wipe your booty with...
or a sign that says
You feel lucky? Maybe I got you on tape stealing my soda, butt ream or maybe I didn't....you make the call. $5 or tapes.

I've heard people 'round here say you give good advice. They're right.

This is the kind of thing the internet was invented for.

Denatonium Benzoate. Readily available from any number of chemical suppliers. (just google it) It's colorless, odorless, and completely non-toxic. It dissolves readily in water but will evaporate to leave an invisible layer of salt on a surface.

And trust me, you WILL know who stole that can. It'll be the guy screaming obscenities as he runs frantically to the nearest water fountain scraping his tongue with his fingernails. Just be careful to warn the people asking you away. You will not want a misfire with this stuff.

See, this is precisely what I was looking for.

 

[Bugfatty300]

Maybe this is worth a try.

Of course knowing me, I'd just poke a hole in the side, drink it and then put it back just to spite the person.

But with the drink in the picture I would just poke a hole and then drain it into the bathroom sink.

 

[Xanikk999]

I get the feeling this is a common problem at lots of work places.

Last week when i was working at home depot one day, this person complained that some random person ate thier lunch out of the fridge!

Now if thats rude i dont know what is! Very gross also.

 

[Bozo Erectus]

Any ideas?

Dont say a word to anybody about it. Next week buy another six pack, except shake the whole six pack for a good twenty minutes or so, then put it in the fridge.

The one with sticky hair will be the culprit...

 

[Fugitive Sisyphus]

Guess what is laminated and taped to the fridge.

http://pag.csail.mit.edu/~adonovan/dilbert/show.php?day=18&month=03&year=2007

That's the one.

 

[shortguy]

I had this problem at my apartment. I started just putting the sodas in one at a time, so that there'd always be one cold one but no extras. That worked pretty well.

 

[Volum]

Thats just rude, i could never just take something out of a fridge if i wasnt 100% it was for everyone or knowing it was okay.

But i sometimes take a beer from my dad tough, but if he tries to count them he falls asleep so i'm safe.

 

[stormbind]

This is the kind of thing the internet was invented for.

Denatonium Benzoate. Readily available from any number of chemical suppliers. (just google it) It's colorless, odorless, and completely non-toxic. It dissolves readily in water but will evaporate to leave an invisible layer of salt on a surface.

And trust me, you WILL know who stole that can. It'll be the guy screaming obscenities as he runs frantically to the nearest water fountain scraping his tongue with his fingernails. Just be careful to warn the people asking you away. You will not want a misfire with this stuff.

So that's what it was!!

Erm, so anyway... some fool I know believes that people will not steal from a bottle of coke because they will wonder if the owner spat in it.

People drink my stuff too. There is apparently an unwritten rule around communal fridges: whatever is left, belongs to everyone.

 

[Furiey]

More easily obtainable would be something to stop you biting your fingernails. That normally paints on and dries clear and is designed to taste disgusting.

 

[jimbob27]

This is the kind of thing the internet was invented for.

Denatonium Benzoate. Readily available from any number of chemical suppliers. (just google it) It's colorless, odorless, and completely non-toxic. It dissolves readily in water but will evaporate to leave an invisible layer of salt on a surface.

And trust me, you WILL know who stole that can. It'll be the guy screaming obscenities as he runs frantically to the nearest water fountain scraping his tongue with his fingernails. Just be careful to warn the people asking you away. You will not want a misfire with this stuff.

This was going to be my suggestion. Just go to the chemist, and buy some of that nasty tasting nail varnish. The stuff that's supposed to stop you from biting them. Just coat the top of the can in that, and let the fireworks fly!

The other suggestion would be to get a lighter, and hold it to the bottom of the can for a few second, until the finish on the can starts to burn. The inside of the can is coated in some sort of finish, that stops the coke reacting with the metal. If you burn the bottom of the can, the finish on the inside will come off, and mix with the drink, making it taste like crap.

 

[Whomp]

You science types are evil. I love it.

 

[Kool Keith]

Wait...this is an idea to stop people drinking her cans?


What you do is aquire LSD, and keep a watchout for the person seeing pink elephants.

I used to have recurring dreams that someone at my work spiked my pop with acid. Good times.

However, there were never any pink elephants involved.