I play the game in "story mode". By this, I mean that I mentally recode the story of my civ as the game goes on. I generally only play huge maps Witt he max number of civs and the course of the game is usually dictated by the map/proximity of other civs. I usually try to play "peacefully" and only go to war when it is "justified" (peaceful and justified are quoted on purpose, since those definitions can some times be very flexible). So, my starting queue can vary from game to game. However, it generally involves pumping out settlers in the early going with just enough military to help quell civil unrest and prevent barbarians from raiding my towns.
After that, it depends. If I selected the smallest % of land mass, then usually I get a little bottled up and someone will plop a city in land my people had allocated for themselves and a justifiable war over crucial land space becomes inevitable. If I chose the largest % of land mass, then odds are better that I just continue to expand to a point that I am "satisfied" and At the same time I start building a lot of infrastructure (I am a builder at heart).