The Birth Of Cool

[Stuck_as_a_Mac]

Sir SaaM the Sensible talks with his trusted advisor, Mr. Oinkkums
SStS: How much damage have my son and his friends done to my poor city?
Mr. Oinkkums: Not much sir, in fact, their Giant Peanut and Mouth has pushed the factory ahead of schedule, and I hear that they may be asking Domestic for a rush job on it
SStS: Domestic supporting a rush on a 5spt city? Like that'll ever happen.
Oinkkums: Stranger things have happened..Like this province being in your family for over 1000 years now...
SStS: Oinkkums! Take that back!
Oink: Sorry, Wesley...
SStS: I told you to never call me by my first name!
Oink: Alright, Alright... Weirdo... no wonder your kid's taken over the city by means of art...
SStS: Im standing right here, Oink. I can read the size one. Anyway, round up the troops , call my friends in Vanir and bring the TV... We've got a city to reclaim
Well, It looks like Wesley Don't call me that! Sir SaaM the Sensible... and Mr. Oinkkums have a plan.. What does this mean for Sir SaaM the Reedy and Angry Piano Pig? Stay tuned

A note: youre all welcome to join in, as long as you stay within the tech rules and dont do anything to stupid (like sieging a city using Jazz... )

 

[Grandmaster]

It was early in the morning when Grandmaster, Prince of Vanir, received the call from Sir SaaM the Sensible in Penguin. His forces were being mobilized to retake the city from the Dadaist rebels, and he was imploring Vanir for support. The Prince could refuse his good friend.

GM: I will send support immediately. I have just the right unit, too. Sierra Force, the crack Vanirian anti-artist special forces. They're trained to deal with even the most dangerous artists and musicians, and have just received a secondary training course on dealing specifically with the Dadaists. They can hide amongst the rebels (they are uniformed in berets, paint-stained coveralls, and have goatees), and can move quickly into the theatre. I will have them deplyed to Penguin ASAP. Is there an open field near the city? Yes? Good. I will airdrop my men immediately. Goodbye.

With a word, the order goes to Sierra Force. They suit up, ready their bongos, saxophones, and paintbrushes, and board the air transports. There are 16 operaters in 2 planes, plus support personal who maintain radio contact and supply them with their specialized anti-artists equipment. Within 20 minutes, multi-colored parachutes were floating men down about 1 mile outside Penguin. They entered the city to infiltrate the strange underworld of the Dadaist subversives.

 

[Cyc]

* Cyc wakes up in the Town Park across from the main square. He notices there are two sun-bleached blonde cuties nestled under each arm, sound asleep. Content, he checks the sky to see if some revolutionary is still able to make pigs fly.

Hmm. No pigs, but what are those...Looks like paint-stained parachutes...A bunch of them too...

Ah, well. Too much excitement for me..."Wake up girls, time to go. Elections are probably over and it looks like the revolution might be too." Realizing that he has Gubernatorial duties to attend to, Cyc quickly heads for the Train Station and books passage to Oil Springs. What a weekend!

 

[Stuck_as_a_Mac]

Sir SaaM the Reedy senses something
My father! And hippie troops! They have arrived!! We cannot let them reclaim the city. I fought long and hard to take this from my father, even though I would have just revieved it from succession!
Sir SaaM the Reedy calls up to the top of the Peanut
Open.... THE MOUTH!!!
The giant mouth opens. Out of it comes... A giant tomato hurler.
Attack! Get the decorated Panzer out! Go, go go!!

Its odd controling both side of the story. And GM- I said stay within tech rules. We dont have flight or advanced flight. Please call off your imaginary warriors.

 

[Grandmaster]

SaaM: Flight is within one tech, making it legal. Come on, give me some leniency, how about if I just fly in the forces instead of paradropping them. That is legal, I believe. And the tech rule applies to game-based units, and to be frank I somehow doubt that beatnick counterterrorist airborne units fit ANYWHERE in the game.

 

[Stuck_as_a_Mac]

Okay... okay... The paratroopers can stay.

 

[Grandmaster]

 

[Zarn]

Grandmaster: You have attacked a member of the Jedi Council. Remove your forces immediately or face hostilities from the Council.

 

[Grandmaster]

I have launcher no attack. I am moving peacekeeping forces in support of the legitimate ruler of Penguin, Sir SaaM the Sensible. My men are not even armed with firearms; only saxophones and paintbrushes. I will help put down the rebellion without violence by appealing to the Dadaists' sense of artisticness. They won't be able to resist working on the Giant Urinal Statue my boys are erecting outside of Penguin. And once they have exited the city to work on the project, we will hose them down with paints and neutralize them with loud jazz music. It is no concern of the Council. However, should the Council choose to fight, I will authorize the use of far more "effective" force in the form of Vanirian regulars who will be utilizing heavy equipment. Do not overstep your bounds, Zarn... this is an affair between legitimate Cupertanian and Vanirian forces, and illegitimate rebels.

 

[Stuck_as_a_Mac]

Zarn, it was I, Sir SaaM the Sensible who asked for and authorized the Attack. I am a Jedi, as is my son. Consider this a Jedi Duel and file it under those guidelines.

 

[Grandmaster]

Aha! Step off Zarn.

 

[Zarn]

Allright, I have seen your backpacks and Stuck's approval. You have full support from the Jedi Council (That is if the other master don't over ride me). May the Force be with you.

 

[Grandmaster]

The Sierra Force operaters had disappeared into the mob of Dadaists. As night fell over the city, several slipped out in paint-stained ninja suits and set up a tent outside the city. When morning broke, the tent was down, and in the middle of the clearing stood.... a GIANT URINAL. That's right, a statue of a giant urinal, towering 15 feet tall and its white porceline shining brightly. The Sierra Force operaters withdrew, leaving their creation in the open for all to see. Meanwhile, high above the statue, a modified Vanirian bomber carrying powerful cameras and radio equipment, kept a silent vigile, always watching the statue.

 

[Stuck_as_a_Mac]

Morning breaks. The dadaists are amazed by the new statue. They praize it, a pure work of Dada. Whoever built this must have been a dada scholar, of course making them a total moron. Whoever it was, this Urinal is a work of art! And out from it, spring vibrant, multiple colored... urinal streams... It is beautiful
Reedy: Let this be known as... Der uRInAL
Meanwhile...
SStS: A giant urinal! Are you sure your forces havent been comprimesed?
Grandmaster: No, Im positive. This is all part of the plan....

Okay... what kind of plan involves a urinal?

 

[Grandmaster]

A very clever and comically relieving one...

 

[Grandmaster]

As the Dadaists stand in awe of the statue, the Sierra Force operaters step out from the crowd. They knod to eachother and start playing smoothe jazz really loudly on their saxophones. The corwd turns and stands transfixed. They continue to play, and an operater gets up on the giant urinal.

Operater: People! Listen carefully! You are now in the custody of the Confederation of Vanir! You will put down any artistic items you are carrying, and remove your berets. Any failure to comply will result in the initiation of aerial bongo bombardment. Aircraft are overhead as we speak, ready to start playing annoy and repetitive bongo rythms! Surrender now, or be subjected to terrible bongo warfare. Do you understand?

Sir SaaM the Reedy steps forward. Nobody knows what he'll do, now that the Vanirians have him trapped....

 

[Zarn]

Grandmaster, you may have my hammer and chisel. Make good use of it.

 

[Grandmaster]

 

[Stuck_as_a_Mac]

Sir SaaM the Reedy, Seeing as he is outnumbered and out bongoed (bongoed? This has got to be the most absurd civil war ever...) realizes he has only one chance to survive the saxaphone wielding madmen.
RELEASE... THE SPEAKER!!!
Out of the giant peanut comes.. a speaker (grandmaster: radio is one tech away too ) A giant speaker, bigger then the tomato toting mouth. Sir SaaM the Reedy is thrown a microphone. From the chain around his neck, he pulls off a Hard Density Oboe Reed
BEGIN.... PETER AND THE WOLF!!
Yes, the weapon known as bad music starts playing. Reminding all that the Oboe was the duck, Sir SaaM grabs his oboe, thrusts the reed into it, and plays one long, continuous note.
DEREREREREREEEEEEDADAFFAFSDDAGHASDFGDHSDAFSGHJKSGFHJKGHJDSFGHJKJ
It is nothing like anyone has ever heard before. It shatters the glasses, breaks windows and makes the Vaniran troops run in terror.
"Thats why I use Medium Soft.." The valiant Oboist says with a smirk.
The city is still theres, but for how long. Sir SaaM sends his most level headed advisor to go work out peace with Vanir, his other son, Sir SaaM the Mellow.

 

[Stuck_as_a_Mac]

Yes, Ive introduced yet another character. We have:
Sir SaaM the Reedy. Dadaist leader, current captor of Penguin.
Sir "Wesley" SaaM the Sensible. Father of "Reedy". Wants his city back.
Sir SaaM the Mellow. Unhip scientist son of "Reedy". More interested in books then jazz. Most likely will take over after Sensible if Sensible resumes control.
Other Characters:
Angry Piano Pig: Pure Dada son of Reedy
Mr. Oinkkums: Advisor of Sensible