The Christian Bible a good book?

[floppa21]

The Bible is full of murder, deceit, incest, hatred, vengeance(not just the Lord's), insults to females, intolerances, homosexuality, and imagine this, CONTRADICTIONS!!!! Need some examples?

ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE.

 

[Mikoyan]

Well, the bible isn't nearly as good as "A Clockwork Orange"! 'Nuff Said!

 

[stormerne]

But it's amazing how Christians are rather selective on their biblical quotes. For example, some will quote Leviticus to bolster their personal prejudices, at the same time conveniently ignoring most of the other things that Leviticus tells them to do!

I rather prefer other 'holy books' from around the world - the Adi Granth, the Gita, for example - and the 'esteemed writings' of others - like the Eddas.

 

[floppa21]

Stormerne, you're a handy guy with links. How bout sendin some my way? Along the lines of what you're talkin about, gods and beliefs and whatnot. I'm always interested in reading about religions and belief systems and things associated with them, but Christianity is just my favorite to pick on since it seems more ridiculous than a few, yet is so popular...

Oh, and I am also VERY selective when I quote from the Bible as you will see...

 

[Master of Ceremonies]

Originally posted by floppa21
ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE.

James 4:2, 3 "You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures."

 

[floppa21]

Lot's NAMELESS wife looks back and God turns her into a pillar of salt. Gen. 19:26

Abandon your family for Jesus, and He will give you a big reward. Matt. 19:29, Mark 10:29

Jesus won't even let his followers bury their dead parents or say farewell to their families before abandoning them. Luke 9:59-62

Jesus says that married people cannot go to Heaven. Luke 20:34-35

There's just a few of many examples of the wonderful moral and family values in the Bible.

 

[floppa21]

The rivers of Egypt (identified as the Nile in NIV, NASB, and RSV) shall dry up. This has never ocurred. Ezekiel 30:12

Jesus falsely prophesies that the end of the world will come within his listeners' lifetimes. Mark 9:1, 13:30

 

[floppa21]

God promised to bring Jacob safely back from Egypt(Gen. 46:3-4) but God doesn't keep his promise and Jacob dies in Egypt. Gen. 49:27

Happiness is smashing your children with rocks. Psalms 137:9

This passage tells you what to do if you get your "seed of copulation" on yourself, your clothes, or your partner... lol: How many times has this happened to you?) Thank goodness we got the Bible! Lev. 15:16-18, 32

"My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him." Nuff said eh? SofS 5:4

Big peepees in the Bible too! Ezekiel 23:20

So maybe I was a little too hard on the Bible, it is quite entertaining, if you can find the right verses...

 

[Dogberry_Old]

Originally posted by floppa21
The Bible is full of murder, deceit, incest, hatred, vengeance(not just the Lord's), insults to females, intolerances, homosexuality, and imagine this, CONTRADICTIONS!!!!

Actually I think that it is a very good book for these very reasons. If I remember correctly .. it was organised in stages between 700 BC - 400 AD. Of course every time it undergoes a translation or revsion it is organised a little more. The antecedents go back much further than 700 BC tho.

If you compare it to the other Ancient Works that have survived such as Homer & the Epic of Gilgamesh ..it positively reeks of gritty realism.. you can almost smell the rock, dust & sheep dung. This is true even when when El Shaddah ( sp ? ) is on stage. The only other work that might be its equal in this respect is the Story of Sinuhe which unfortunately has reached us only in a fragmentary condition.

The fact that it can be used for both malign & benign purposes only proves its greatness. Overall a very good reflection of the human condition esp. here in the West.

Dog

 

[duke o' york]

From a literary standpoint, the Bible is full of the most Godawful guff imaginable. Even if you have not read any of it, you will remember from the Simpsons that Reverend Lovejoy is fond of the biblical passages detailing the family history of some of the characters. These really do appear in the Bible.... and how! Who the hell thought that these boring lists would contribute anything to the book ought to have been made to write them out in eight hundred foot high letters in the desert while people who could actually write got on with the important job of making the Jewish history readable. No history book would bother including this kind of stuff. Even if you are prepared to treat the plot of the Bible as a fantasy, the style is far from engaging and reading the whole thing is on a par with the self-flagellation that was so popular amongst medieval fanatics.

 

[scorch]

k guys, be prepared for some major ****.
Im sending my brother in......
nah, hes hardout christian, he will be very interested to see this aye....
should get some mean arguements going.

 

[DaEezT]

The Christian Bible a good book?

In one word: No [punch]

 

[duke o' york]

Since you're the founder of the OTCC and your brother is a fundamentalist Christain, then things must get quite interesting at your house scorch.
What is your brother called? I mean his log-on, and will he identify himself as your brother if he can stand the shame ?
Why should we be scared of him? Did he write the Bible and can defend his terrible opus? Or has he just studied it too much and been sent mad by the disregard for literary style?

 

[scorch]

thats classic that you asked that man.

hes not registered here, but i send him both of these threads, so im gonna see if he will.

WEll, life at home.
hes 18, im 15, my parents split up about 1.5 yrs ago, and my brother has tried to replace my dad.
nah, hes not that bad.. but yeah, **** used to be bad, now we just don't really annoy each other. But however, i definatly am the black sheep, my mum comfirmed that, when she bought me a tshirt for me on my Bday, that says 'im the black sheep', but yheah.
as i have said before, im ****ing tired, so i'll talk later.

 

[floppa21]

So Scorch's brother will love me, Master of Ceremonies already loves me(in a Christian way) but is ignoring me... Sigh...

 

[Leowind]

Originally posted by duke o' york
From a literary standpoint, the Bible is full of the most Godawful guff imaginable. Even if you have not read any of it, you will remember from the Simpsons that Reverend Lovejoy is fond of the biblical passages detailing the family history of some of the characters. These really do appear in the Bible.... and how! Who the hell thought that these boring lists would contribute anything to the book ought to have been made to write them out in eight hundred foot high letters in the desert while people who could actually write got on with the important job of making the Jewish history readable. No history book would bother including this kind of stuff. Even if you are prepared to treat the plot of the Bible as a fantasy, the style is far from engaging and reading the whole thing is on a par with the self-flagellation that was so popular amongst medieval fanatics.

Yeah, the Simpsons is a legitamate source to consider when dealing with interepretations of the Bible As for the geneological lists, Family history and lineage was extremely important for the Jews, so these lists proving they are true Hebrews and can trace their lineage were very important to them. Not to us, and they are boring as hell to read, but they weren't written to be entertaining, but to contain the history of a people. (can't think of a good modern life analogy. If I do, I'll edit it in)

 

[CornMaster]

....that was a pretty funny book!!!

Oh...it wasn't a comidic outlook on life?

Oh...

It's a nice story...but holy book....I think not.

But then again....I'm not religious.

 

[floppa21]

Where ya go MoC? Are my previous posts in this thread too lame, you have no reply? Or are you still lookin them all up in your Bible? Sheesh, I feel like an abandoned kid...

 

[FearlessLeader2]

Originally posted by floppa21
Lot's NAMELESS wife looks back and God turns her into a pillar of salt. Gen. 19:26

Besides the obvious 'Which proves exactly what?' question, nice job of ignoring how God would have spared both cities if Lot could have found just ONE decent man within their walls.

Originally posted by floppa21
Abandon your family for Jesus, and He will give you a big reward. Matt. 19:29, Mark 10:29

Very nice job of deliberately misinterpreting the context. Jesus is quoted speaking to those who have already done so and are wondering what will become of themselves now that they have nothing. These people gave up all their earthly possessions to their families to follow Jesus. These people were hurt by their actions, whether it be financially, emotionally, or both. You are deliberately twisting the intent to suit yourself. Again, nice job.

Originally posted by floppa21
Jesus won't even let his followers bury their dead parents or say farewell to their families before abandoning them. Luke 9:59-62

Again a fine job of missing the point. The point of these passages is to remind the listener that all earthly concerns are secondary to the spiritual. I can see how someone with no spirituality would not understand this, but ridiculing something you don't comprehend does not make you seem wise in the comparision.

Originally posted by floppa21
Jesus says that married people cannot go to Heaven. Luke 20:34-35

Wrong and wrong again! Your record is impressive. Jesus says that in the world to follow this one, no one will marry, nor be given in marriage, because our new situation will make marriage obsolete.

Originally posted by floppa21
There's just a few of many examples of the wonderful moral and family values in the Bible.

Yes, those are just four examples of how someone with an axe to grind can deliberately misinterpret to mislead.

 

[FearlessLeader2]

Originally posted by floppa21
The rivers of Egypt (identified as the Nile in NIV, NASB, and RSV) shall dry up. This has never ocurred. Ezekiel 30:12

Let's read that passage, shall we?
And I will make the Nile canals dry ground and will sell the land into the hand of bad men, and I will cause the land and its fullness to be desolated by the hand of strangers. I myself, Jehovah, have spoken."
So, let's see. The land around the Nile will dry up, including the irrigation canals. Were you aware that there is this big thing full of sand over in that area that's called, oh let me think...the Sahara Desert? That it has been spreading at a phenomenal pace? That the Nile, which used to flood regularly and thereby replenish the soil, hasn't done so in decades?
And who is ruling that land now, and has been for centuries? The Egyptians? No, no wait, they were Romans, Carthaginians, Phoenicians, Greeks, hmmm, none of them from Egypt. Say, help me out here...what is it one calls a person in a foreign land? Could it be, a stranger? And what kind of people are running the place today? Peaceful, kindly, friendly folk, like the Canadians? Or bloodthirsty Muslim extremists?

Originally posted by floppa21
Jesus falsely prophesies that the end of the world will come within his listeners' lifetimes. Mark 9:1, 13:30

Okay, let's read along again, shall we?
Furthermore, he went on to say to them: "Truly I say to you, there are some of those standing here that will not taste death at all until first they see the kingdom of god already come in power."
Without belabouring the obvious, once again you've obviously misinterpreted the Bible. That or you're holding it upside down...or something. Are you sure you have a Bible in your hands, and not a Denny's placemat? (Just checking, mind you.) Let's see what the next verse says:
Accordingly, six days later Jesus took Peter and James and John along, and brought them up into a lofty mountain to themselves alone. And he was transfigured before them.
So, rather than a false prophecy, it was one that took a whole six days to come to pass.

NEXT!