The end of my era

[ControlFreak]

{I chose to post this here as I think most of my posts were with the GOTM community.}

Hi, my name is ControlFreak, and I am a Civoholic.

As many of you know, I have a wife and three little children. I also have an addiction to Civilization, something that my wife does not support. Over the past few months, I have been slowly carving out civ-time by "staying at work late" to satisfy my addiciton. My situation has now resulted in something akin to an affair with another woman. I didn't realize this until I got caught.

I have decided that I am mostly incapable of imposing limits on my gaming and foruming. As such, I am chosing to stop posting to the forum and to stop playing civ at all, at least for now. If, in the distant future, I can come to terms with my obsessive nature and can find a way to read, play and post without hiding it from my wife and kids then I may return.

So it is with great sadness and remorse that I must bid you all a fond farewell.

Before I go, I'd like to send a special thanks to HotRod, Lkendter, cracker, Thawk, Speaker and the EG1 team, The Star-Spangled Slaughter team, LK and HOT series players I've played with, Nad, and the Chamber of Secrets team. The list is too long to include everyone but if I missed you, please don't hold it against me. Eveyone at CFC that I've met and played with have been wonderful people, making my departure very sad indeed.

Until I return, keep up the good work, crush the AI and have fun doing it. Just be sure you still live the rest of your life.

ControlFreak

 

[Karasu]

CF, even if you may not read anything here for some time (if at all), thank you for posting here and sharing some -ehr... a lot of your time with us.

I do understand what you mean, and what you wrote gives me something to think about.
I share your sadness and your concerns, as well as your addiction: I am sure there will come the time for me too to slow down, or even stop, my 'civving' and my 'foruming'.

Until that time comes, hey, let me play... just one more turn...

 

[Gingerbread Man]

Well, I guess its rehab for you. Civ is causing problems in many people's lives here, I am no exception either. Maybe you can organise a deal, if you go no Civ and no CFC for a month, you get your precious Civ3 cd back for a two days a week, or something, as long as you do such-and-such first. Though, if that were to happen, I would be eating sludge just to get one more turn...

 

[LKendter]

Sorry to see you go.

As much as I hate always working out of town, it does have it pluses. The big ones are the fact no complaints with playing Civ along with my other gaming hobbies.

 

[Aggie]

I thorougly enjoyed participating in SG's with you. From what you decribe, I can understand your decision and it sounds like a wise one.

Good luck to you

 

[jack merchant]

It has been a pleasure playing with you, ControlFreak, and we'll be sorry to see you go. But wife & children must of course come first .

Good luck with all your future endeavours !

 

[Yndy]

I fully understand you CF and it has been a pleasure reading your post. Often I have looked at your signature and thought (Am I a Civoholic as well?) I do not dare to answer that question.

I can only be glad that I got my spouse to understand my Civving habits. Still when I tend to forget that there are other things in life, she gently reminds me of that.

In addition, most of my forum time is due to the fact that my work allows it and that my firm has unlimited and somewhat unrestricted Internet access. I am concerned that I might change my employer due to career advancement and that my internet access will be slashed significantly.

Anyway I hope I can control my addiction, as my forum time is on a slightly decreasing slope just like my total civ playing time.

 

[TedJackson]

As a fellow sufferer I wish you well CF.

I hope that once you've got things firmly under control you'll pop in and see us from time to time.


Ted
p.s. a big thanks for setting up the GotM 23 SG

 

[rabies]

CF - I understand all too well...Ihave had to dramatically cut back my civ time myself. Good luck..and get well in 'rehab'.

 

[Justus II]

CF- Great to hear you post, I have had to put myself on "probation" from time to time, due to my family/work/military concerns, so I understand. Put First things First. Good luck!

 

[OneFastWarrior]

Sorry to see you go CF, I really enjoyed reading posts you have made. I completely understand as I pretty much did nothing all summer long except play civ,(friends, Family and Girlfriend of 6 years were all getting a little annoyed with me) and now I just have been playing a couple SG's and just some gotm, to see what the games are like even though I have no intention of finishing them on time. Good luck to you, and hope to see ya here sometime in the future.

 

[AlanH]

CF. I feel your pain, but it's only a game, and even a game this good is nowhere near as important as those precious relationships. Thanks for getting the Sg23 intiative going, I know we are going to miss your support and assistance with it.

So long for now, and good luck in rehab.

Best regards,

Alan

 

[Offa]

This is pretty sad. It seems that many of us have young families, which makes it socially difficult to indulge our Civ addictions. I (and my wife) certainly felt very disturbed by GOTM 20 taking 80 hours, and I am determined not to take anything like that long again. Thus I won't play any game with a large map, even though it can be a very interesting challenge . Similarly I would like to avoid games with a lot of islands.

I am certainly addicted to Civ by any reasonable criteria, and I suspect that most players who manage to finish GOTM regularly are also addicts. It is however a pretty benign addiction, the cost being measured almost purely in time "wasted" and sleep lost. The time wasting can undoubtably become a cause of lost opportunities and quality family time and this is my main problem.


I haven't played GOTM this month (or any other Civ) but still seem to "waste" as much time as ever playing with the computer. At least I have been getting to bed before 1am. The addiction is still there and I am looking forward to the next GOTM.

I am pretty sure that if it wasn't for GOTM I would hardly play Civ at all. The communal spirit resulting from coping with the same position as other fools like me is what spurs me on. In addition, the superb standard of play of some players makes me want to continue to improve.

If only the game was quicker...

 

[Megalou]

I will miss your nimble-quick and enjoyable posts. Give the discs to someone who deserves to be your successor. 'Cause I assume you will put some distance between the CDs and yourself. I did this with the vanilla Civ3 disc and when I demanded it back the "keeper" answered something like: "OK... You didn't say something about not giving it to you no matter what you say, did you now?"

Take care,

The fake Ulysses,
Megalou

 

[LordKestrel]

Best of luck. I've had problems with game addiction in the past (xcom), and it took a long time to get over it. Getting on good terms with your wife and family is the right thing to do.

 

[ControlFreak]

Thank you to all the well wishers.

The first day of "withdrawal" was very difficult but I seem to be doing OK.

(Just subscribed to this thread and PM's, nothing else!)

 

[dojoboy]

Originally posted by ControlFreak
Over the past few months, I have been slowly carving out civ-time by "staying at work late" to satisfy my addiciton. My situation has now resulted in something akin to an affair with another woman. I didn't realize this until I got caught.

She is a beautiful woman, isn't she? There have definitely been times for me CF that Civ3 consumed my every thought and action. I too am married w/ children, which a number of times has caused my wife to remark, "I hate that game." Being obsessive-complusive by nature, I have a difficult time letting something go. Fortunately, time has made Civ3 a part of my leisure time rather than my focus. Lets see, since I got Civ3 (mac version released Jan. 7, 2001) I've been at it constantly. These days, certain Civ3 games consume me, while I chip away at others.

My sons (5 & 2) are future gamers themselves, so my interests are compatible with their's, but my wife still would prefer a family walk on occassion. My 5 y/o sits in my lap and helps while I play lesser intense turns. Actually, in general, Civ3 offers males an outlet (similar to athletics) that isn't available during this day and time, and I don't think many wives can really relate. Again, fortunately my sons have helped my wife see and understand how males work, in general now. There are days that she laments the absence of other females in the house, which I try to remember and do things that don't include the standard male fare.

CF, you're not alone. Remember, there is a way to have your cake and eat it too.

 

[samildanach]

Good Luck CF. I find snapping the offending CD helps to draw a line under a particular game. Also deleting the game and all saves which might tempt you to go out and buy a replacement CD is helpful. Remember conquests is coming out soon so I would advise not coming to this site at all for any reason even to check this thread.

 

[civ_steve]

Civ-diction is a problem we all have to face. Making all those excuses (Just one more turn ... I'm checking the email ... gotta e-pay all those bills ...), the embarrassment of waking up with your face on the keyboard, not being recognized by family members. One day ... you hit rock-bottom! We know your story and feel your pain, ControlFreak!!

My 3 step plan: get a faster computer (check), limit # of games played (just GOTM and some Medal Play - check), and plan your game to accomplish just what you need for victory (check). Kind of tough for Domination and Conquest games, but most other victories can be done quickly by limiting warfare early on and keeping the peace for most of the game.

Have fun with your RL; we'll keep the AI at bay.

 

[Naboo]

Add me to the list; I am a Civ-a-holic.

"I hate that game" has become a familiar refrain around here too. I think my civving time will be greatly reduced for some time. I've enjoyed reading the exploits of you all.