The Oracle

[General_W]

Dear People of the World…

Epsilon Team would like to formally announce that we have completed work on remarkable structure we’re calling, "The Oracle." ​

All World leaders are cordially invited to the dedication ceremony.
As for directions to the Eternal City of Epsilon Eridani…

Well… er… we’re north of some trees, and south of some water. But that’s not really helpful, because we’re also south of some other trees, and north of this other spot of water…

Well – anyway… we’ll save a seat for you!

Oracle under construction:


Artists Conception of the finished grounds:


Any questions about the future may be submitted in writing to Foreign Minister General_W, who will then (For a small fee) ask the questions of the Oracle. Then for a minor response fee, typing fee, and letter mailing fee (as well as any applicable hazardous delivery fees) – will be happy to give you the Oracle’s answer.

Spoiler Sample Answers from the Oracle :

twistlok: There are barbarians everywhere! How can I prevent our troops from getting hurt?
Oracle: Use line of sight and defensive bonuses to keep the barbarians away. Some forest hills give 75% defense and +1 visibility, but that's nothing compared to our capital. It has 60% defense, +4 line of sight, plus up to 3 levels of city garrison! Not to mention the terrain bonuses. So keep all troops in the capital for the ultimate in self-defense.
You owe the Oracle the secret of Hereditary Rule.

lost_civantares: Where are all the happiness resources?
Oracle: There are happiness resources all around you. Rice can be brewed to create sake. Horses can be used for many sports. Hemp is useful for more than just bowstrings. Be creative!
You owe the Oracle some rolling paper and a bowstring.

Memphus: At last, I have tricked the citizens into giving me absolue power! MUAHAHAHAHA! But how can I prevent usurpers from deposing me?
Oracle: Every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. With that in mind, allow me to present... Peter's Evil Overlord List.
You owe the Oracle a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.

DaveMcW: Will I win the 18 player pitboss game?
Oracle: If you can prevent anyone from launching a spaceship, you will win in 2050 AD.
You owe the Oracle a spy unit and 100,000

 

[BCLG100]

Aloha would like to congratulate Team epsilon on building this maginficent wonder, word being passed around is that the 'Oracle' gives the people that build it a scientific advancment of some sort, we were wondering whether this was true and just how you advanced following this build?

 

[robboo]

I want you to ask the Oracle...

"how much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

And "how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?"

 

[General_W]

Aloha would like to congratulate Team epsilon on building this maginficent wonder, word being passed around is that the 'Oracle' gives the people that build it a scientific advancment of some sort, we were wondering whether this was true and just how you advanced following this build?

Oracle: It is easy to determine how advanced Epsilon Team is. Simply compare their cities to this reference screenshot.

You owe the Oracle a postcard of an Aloha city.

how much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Oracle:A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood, silly.
You owe the Oracle a more interesting question.

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

Oracle: It depends.
If you're a wise old owl: 3
If you're a child: a mean of 89.2, normally distributed with a standard deviation of 23.1
If you're a porn star: infinity
If you're Madonna: 1
If you're a zen master: you are one with the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop
If you're Marv Albert: none, I bit it right away, but I thought that's what it wanted
If you're OJ Simpson: I licked it because I loved it
If you're Bill Clinton: I ate a Tootsie Pop, but I didn't lick
If you're a nearly all-knowing super computer: 42

You owe the Oracle a normal lollipop



Please put all applicable fees into reserve. You may pay your debts as soon as someone invents a way to effect a monetary transaction…

 

[Mauer]

Please put all applicable fees into reserve. You may pay your debts as soon as someone invents a way to effect a monetary transaction…

I believe at this point in time that bovine trading is acceptable. Or any other sort of hoofed animal.

 

[Robi D]

Dear oracle,

We are also north of some trees and south of some water, is it possible that we are on the same spot but in parallel dimensions?

I have sent a banana and this interesting warm, green glowing rock as payment in advance

 

[Emp. Killyouall]

Dear Oracle,

We found... Sirian's Great Library. It was buried under some saltpeper and some rubber. Is this a bug?

PS I sent the saltpeper and rubber as payment.

 

[Robi D]

Whats going on, the Oracle's been up and running a day and its already broken down

They just don't make things they way they use to in the good old days

 

[General_W]

We are also north of some trees and south of some water, is it possible that we are on the same spot but in parallel dimensions?

By 'parallel dimension' I assume you are using the layman's term for the multiverse hypothesis of M-Theory. Of course, In M-theory our universe and others are created by collisions between membranes in an 11-dimensional space. Unlike the universes in the "quantum multiverse", these universes can have completely different laws of physics—anything may be possible. Which is basically the answer to your question. Anything is possible.​

We found... Sirian's Great Library. It was buried under some saltpeper and some rubber. Is this a bug?

Really? I wondered where I left that! It's certainly NOT a bug. It's a Library! Goodness.​

Whats going on…

Look – "broken" is an awfully strong word. If you must know, I was lost in an existential quandary where time had lost all meaning induced by pondering the ramifications of your first question. Be careful with those questions brother…​

 

[Memphus]

Whats going on, the Oracle's been up and running a day and its already broken down

They just don't make things they way they use to in the good old days

To further the point that the Oracle has already made it should have read:

Whats going on, the Oracle's been up and running a day then takes a break to Grant Epsilon Team the Futuristic knowledge of...

They just don't make things they way they use to in the good old days , but since this was the first wonder this is how they made them in the good old days