The Reign in Spain
- Thread starter constantinople
- Start date
pole475
The Blinding Light
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I know, we banish them to that little island called Stromboli. 
what??
pole475
The Blinding Light
I think that a real place, like a volcano or something, near Italy.
pole475
The Blinding Light
That's what I meant, but still then, on our way to banish them we can do it while eating Stromboli
Daedwartin
Emperor
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2012
- Messages
- 1,785
Remember to feed them broccoli
pole475
The Blinding Light
Are you even trying, lemon flavored brussel sprouts topped with strawberry barbecue sauce.
pole475
The Blinding Light
Lets have a spam free for all!!!!!
Spoiler :
pole475
The Blinding Light
Did you even see the spoiler
pole475
The Blinding Light
SamSniped
DJ Goodboye
Great story! Reminds me of some of the older storytellers, like Dhoomstriker and Yoshi.
constantinople
not Istanbul
Chapter XVIII
King: A war where I wasn't the cause and the enemy is an actual threat? This a first...
Advisor: Okay, so the English Stack of Death has arrived in France.
King: Some SoD...All of this waiting for some chinsey raiding party!
Advisor: Yeah, BUT, our cities have been weakly defended since you've wasted all of our production on wonders and colonies.
King: WASTED!?!? I'll tell you who's wasted - Charlie Sheen! But that's another story. Anyway, the Spanish Empire, not the English "Empire" is an empire where the sun never sets. Even in an alternate universe, the English could never hold a single colony...
Advisor: Mm-hm, well we don't live in an alternate dimension, we live in the real deal! So let's kick some bloody English butt.
Advisor: It is clear the SoND (Stack of Near Death) is heading towards Burdeos. Sadly, the city is hardly defended and the British stack has a chance of taking the city, especially if more back-up arrives. We need more troops.
King: Look, Aqua-tania isn't our most valuable region, let's leave it slimly defended so we can guard our other cities.
Advisor: Everyone appears to want to join your empire, so they must have SOME faith you will win this war.
Advisor: Well, here it is, SoD-Day. The Brits have arrived near Burdeos. Let's see what happens...
King: They-they've left!
Advisor: No, they're just joining up with more troops! And look, a fleet of British carracks and galleons escorted by a fleet of privateers, I wonder who they work for...
King: That German pirate guy?
Advisor: :facepalm:
Advisor: The Swiss...who would have thought they'd be working for the British...
Advisor: Well, I've got bad news. British galleons have been harassing our trade with African nations and sunk one of our galleons. Although you may not like it, we may need to spend gold to hire more soldiers to fight for our war cause.
King: So be it.
King: Grrrr...
King: The British left Burdeos alone! A blessing - a blessing from the Lord!
Advisor: *cough* not exactly....
King: Okay, now DAT is a SoD!
Advisor: YES! Our privateers defeated the British galleon near Andalusia!
King: Send a small fleet to defend our Atlantic access near Portugal, we cannot let the British terrorize our colonial trade routes, thus destroying all current colonial projects.
King: Give me reports of my army.
Advisor: Ummm...sire, you may not be pleased...
King: TELL ME!! HOW IS OUR ARMY?
Advisor: El Ferrol is suffering bombardment. Luckily, fresh troops have arrived near the city.
Advisor: Okay, the Brits have combined into a SoD but aren't going anywhere.
Advisor: Culturally, we are doing fine. We've completed St. Basil's in honour (No u's, it's a sign of loyalty to the British!!!) of Basil the British Slayer.
Advisor: A city in North Africa has revolted and joined us.
King: Disband the city, I need more troops to occupy my cities in North Africa already.
Advisor: Also, some psychopath who claims he is Johannes Gutenberg has become a great scientist in Cordoba.
King: Great, have him join the city.
Advisor: Well, the British are "advancing" away from they're old camping spot. Either they'll pillage the country side or go directly to Leon.
King: We have to stop them!
Advisor: And just how are we going to do that?
King: I don't know! YOU'RE THE ADVISOR!!!
Advisor: Here they come, the British are nearing Burdeos. We don't have nearly enough troops to defend the city. If they control the Garonne River, they will have blocked trade with the city.
King: I'm sick of waiting! Attack the British SoD near El Ferrol with one of our cannons!
Advisor: Well, sire, we've completed two wonders. One is a small dome the size of a rock over a...rock. The other is gate named after some German city.
Advisor: Lyon has joined our empire.
King: NO! Disband the city and send the forces to Saint Flower!
Advisor: Remember when the cannon mauled the British SoD? Well we've kind of crippled them...
King: GREAT! Send in another wave to wound 'em some more!!
King: YES!!! We might win this war after all!!!
This episode of the Reign in Spain was brought to you in part by the Spanish Army. Join today to kill random British people.
JOIN TODAY!
King: A war where I wasn't the cause and the enemy is an actual threat? This a first...
Advisor: Okay, so the English Stack of Death has arrived in France.
Spoiler :
King: Some SoD...All of this waiting for some chinsey raiding party!
Advisor: Yeah, BUT, our cities have been weakly defended since you've wasted all of our production on wonders and colonies.
King: WASTED!?!? I'll tell you who's wasted - Charlie Sheen! But that's another story. Anyway, the Spanish Empire, not the English "Empire" is an empire where the sun never sets. Even in an alternate universe, the English could never hold a single colony...
Advisor: Mm-hm, well we don't live in an alternate dimension, we live in the real deal! So let's kick some bloody English butt.
Advisor: It is clear the SoND (Stack of Near Death) is heading towards Burdeos. Sadly, the city is hardly defended and the British stack has a chance of taking the city, especially if more back-up arrives. We need more troops.
King: Look, Aqua-tania isn't our most valuable region, let's leave it slimly defended so we can guard our other cities.
Advisor: Everyone appears to want to join your empire, so they must have SOME faith you will win this war.
Spoiler :
Advisor: Well, here it is, SoD-Day. The Brits have arrived near Burdeos. Let's see what happens...
Spoiler :
King: They-they've left!
Advisor: No, they're just joining up with more troops! And look, a fleet of British carracks and galleons escorted by a fleet of privateers, I wonder who they work for...
King: That German pirate guy?
Advisor: :facepalm:
Spoiler :
Advisor: The Swiss...who would have thought they'd be working for the British...
Advisor: Well, I've got bad news. British galleons have been harassing our trade with African nations and sunk one of our galleons. Although you may not like it, we may need to spend gold to hire more soldiers to fight for our war cause.
King: So be it.
Spoiler :
King: Grrrr...
King: The British left Burdeos alone! A blessing - a blessing from the Lord!
Advisor: *cough* not exactly....
Spoiler :
King: Okay, now DAT is a SoD!
Advisor: YES! Our privateers defeated the British galleon near Andalusia!
Spoiler :
King: Send a small fleet to defend our Atlantic access near Portugal, we cannot let the British terrorize our colonial trade routes, thus destroying all current colonial projects.
Spoiler :
King: Give me reports of my army.
Advisor: Ummm...sire, you may not be pleased...
King: TELL ME!! HOW IS OUR ARMY?
Spoiler :
Advisor: El Ferrol is suffering bombardment. Luckily, fresh troops have arrived near the city.
Spoiler :
Advisor: Okay, the Brits have combined into a SoD but aren't going anywhere.
Spoiler :
Advisor: Culturally, we are doing fine. We've completed St. Basil's in hono
Spoiler :
Advisor: A city in North Africa has revolted and joined us.
King: Disband the city, I need more troops to occupy my cities in North Africa already.
Spoiler :
Advisor: Also, some psychopath who claims he is Johannes Gutenberg has become a great scientist in Cordoba.
King: Great, have him join the city.
Advisor: Well, the British are "advancing" away from they're old camping spot. Either they'll pillage the country side or go directly to Leon.
King: We have to stop them!
Advisor: And just how are we going to do that?
King: I don't know! YOU'RE THE ADVISOR!!!
Spoiler :
Advisor: Here they come, the British are nearing Burdeos. We don't have nearly enough troops to defend the city. If they control the Garonne River, they will have blocked trade with the city.
Spoiler :
King: I'm sick of waiting! Attack the British SoD near El Ferrol with one of our cannons!
Spoiler :
Advisor: Well, sire, we've completed two wonders. One is a small dome the size of a rock over a...rock. The other is gate named after some German city.
Spoiler :
Advisor: Lyon has joined our empire.
King: NO! Disband the city and send the forces to Saint Flower!
Spoiler :
Advisor: Remember when the cannon mauled the British SoD? Well we've kind of crippled them...
Spoiler :
King: GREAT! Send in another wave to wound 'em some more!!
Spoiler :
King: YES!!! We might win this war after all!!!
This episode of the Reign in Spain was brought to you in part by the Spanish Army. Join today to kill random British people.
JOIN TODAY! Similar threads
