Time Travel Humour

[Pariah]

I came up with a bunch of jokes about time travel a couple of years ago - most of them fell a bit short of eliciting laughs. Here are a sample:

Q) Why did the time traveller cross the road?
A) To count the chicken before it hatched.

Q) Why did the time traveller quit smoking?
A) He felt guilty about dropping a cigarette end at a London bakery in 1666!

Q) Why did the time traveller take his ghetto blaster back to the Cretaceous Period?
A) So he could "walk the dinosaur!"

Q) Why did the time-travelling pervert never celebrate Father's Day?
A) Because he was his own father.

Can anyone think of any more? Preferably clever rather than profane.

 

[CivCube]

Q) How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A) Simple, my lad! It is exactly zhwoom to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A) Simple, my lad! It is exactly zhwoom to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A) Simple, my lad! It is exactly....

Q) What happens if you mess around with time travel?
A) You get a hilarious movie trilogy starring an upstart sitcom actor.

Q) No, really! What happens?
A) If you did know time travel, there wouldn't be any point in asking, now would it?

Q) What happens if you put a Norwegian in a time machine?
A) You get a world in which lutefisk is the answer for everything.

Time travel doesn't really apply well for jokes, I'm afraid.

 

[Pariah]

I beg to differ, your jokes are pretty good!

 

[CivCube]

Thanks.

Here's another:

Q) What would happen if a megalomaniac took hold of a time machine?
A) Nothing! Now get back to your station and work!

 

[Pariah]

Q) What did the time traveller say about life in the Ordovician Period?
A) "I've never been there. Period!"

Did you hear about the "Back to the Future" fan club? Their next meeting it 6 years ago tomorrow!

Check the current general discussion thread on Christianity and a Convert's Perspective. Before long, someone will realise that Jesus was only crucified because the crowd at Golgotha was full of time travellers, who knew they were "supposed" to demand the release of Barabus instead of Jesus.