Translation:

[Ayatollah So]

Low fat: high carb.
Low carb: high fat.

Please post your translations, readings between the lines, etc.

 

[Gnarfflinger]

Healthy alternative: Tastes like **** but we're trying to sell it anyway...

 

[RoddyVR]

low fat milk: we took regular milk, diluted it with water.
fatfree milk: colored water.

part of this complete breakfast (cereal): anything at all could replace this cereal and this would still be a "complete breakfast", it would just be a healthier one with less sugar and preservatives if you took away the cereal.

 

[Tomoyo]

100% better: compared to that crappy thing we had before.

 

[MrRats]

Chunky:Has nuts
Extra Chunky:See above

 

[ybbor]

with natural and artificial flavors: .0001% of the real thing, 99.9999% artificial
only 1 minute to make: you frustrated with this product

 

[kulade]

99% fat free: Not fat free but better for you than the kind with flavor.
Kills 99% of all germs: don't sue us if you catch a cold.

 

[Arminius]

New and Improved: We think we fixed our product so as to avoid use-related rashes.

 

[YNCS]

I have seen a dog food labeled "improved taste." How do they know?

 

[WillJ]

FDA inspected - but not FDA approved.

Not sold in stores! - This is a piece of crap.

 

[North King]

For a limited time only: We'll keep on selling it and selling it until we run out, then we'll make more.

 

[Knowze Gungk]

Here's an age old one.

She has a great personallity:
She may be fat & ugly, but at least I'm getting sex.

 

[Syterion]

The Check is in the Mail: I'll be across the border tomorrow.

 

[Gnarfflinger]

I did not have sex with that woman: Damned right I did, but that's none of your business. AS your President, I order you to get a life!

 

[Rout]

99% fat free - Yeah cuz sugar isnt a fat.
80% fat free - Yuck thats 20% pure F. A. T.

 

[Jawz II]

X-treme = same crap as everyone elses product, were just hoping some dumb kid with a skateboard will buy our crap, hoping it will make him cool

she is around 18 = she is 15 (i havent used this one since i turned 21)

applejuice = sugarwater + 1% apple juice

any other juice = sugarwater + 1% apple juice

(apple juice is the cheapest one to make)

 

[The Omega]

Now, no more carbs!: There never were any carbs in it, you idiot!

 

[Perfection]

This reminds me of a Clorox commercial with a Clorox bottle touting that it kills germs, and that other brands of bleach don't make that claim.

 

[The Person]

About time somebody said how good this is.

The truth hurts!

 

[thetrooper]

I have seen a dog food labeled "improved taste." How do they know?

They hired the famous talking dogs of course.