FriendlyFire
Codex WMDicanious
Post weird but true stories thread.
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True Stories
- Thread starter FriendlyFire
- Start date
Yuri2356
Test Screening
How so? He fakes being superstitious and gets 3-day weekends! 
Kind of backfired though....
And maby he wasn't faking...
Kind of backfired though....
And maby he wasn't faking...
The Person
Deity +2
We'll he could've been stung outside the house, too. And if he's so superstitious it's his own faul, since staying at home equals just as much risk as going outside.
DoubleT
Prince
No where is safe lol
Well its too bad that people are govern by things like that...
Well its too bad that people are govern by things like that...
Jawz II
Oh Dear
heres some stuff i found awhile ago, i saved it on my harddrive cause i wanted to email it to my friend, i dont remember where i found them or even if theyre true, but some are pretty funny
enjoy!
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat
cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted
a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting
negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for
himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger.
The chef's claim was approved.
A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for
his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his
vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably,
he shot her.
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar,
a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients
he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo
had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver
went to a nearby bus-stop and offered everyone waiting there a
free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital,
telling > > the staff that the patients were very excitable and
prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering
from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When
asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he
was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a
moving train before he was hit.
enjoy!
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat
cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted
a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting
negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for
himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger.
The chef's claim was approved.
A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for
his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his
vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably,
he shot her.
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar,
a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients
he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo
had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver
went to a nearby bus-stop and offered everyone waiting there a
free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital,
telling > > the staff that the patients were very excitable and
prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering
from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When
asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he
was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a
moving train before he was hit.
bob rulz
Prince
Those last two were especially funny. What idiots! Lord Draegon
Awoken
(1 August 1999, California) 22-year-old Myner broke into a Los Angeles home at 3AM on Sunday, only to be confronted by the homeowner, an armed police officer, who fired when he saw the glint of a weapon in the intruder's hand. Myner realized he was in trouble and attempted to flee the scene, but succeeded only in stumbling painfully into a bed of cactus, where he lost his knife. After freeing himself from the prickly plants, he headed over the fence, a decorative wrought-iron barrier that speared him cruelly in the groin as he hurtled over to the sidewalk. Despite these blunders, he managed to escape, but was apprehended later that morning when he sought treatment for his injuries at the Anaheim Memorial Hospital. Sgt. Joe Vargas summed up his adventures by saying, "It wasn't a good night."
February 1998) ATM's have become a popular target for thieves. The law of averages demands that some attempts end unsuccessfully.
Our hero started out like most: He knew that in order to win the prize, he needed to get at the back of the machine. He pried it away from the wall with difficulty. As soon as he had enough clearance, he wriggled behind and started working on removing the rear panel.
At this point, the watchful reader will have noticed a few problems with his logic.
1. He has completely ignored the video camera.
2. A silent alarm is triggered if the machine is moved.
Furthermore, the ATM in question is three minutes away from a police station. As the sirens neared, our novice criminal decided to hide. When the police arrived, they saw that the machine had been tampered with, and assumed that the thief had fled. They secured the area and called in a forensics team.
The forensics team was dusting for fingerprints when a very loud ACHOOO! from behind the ATM.
In summary, the klutzy crook was videotaped, left fingerprints, and he hid behind the ATM.
(January 2001) Two men were taken to a Liverpool hospital on Saturday night after trying to burgle the house of pro soccer player Duncan Ferguson. Some years ago Ferguson, who earned the nicknames Drunken Ferguson and Duncan Disorderly, served 6 months in jail for grievous bodily injury to an opponent. This 64" kamikaze centre forward is arguably the most violent player in British pro football. The police must have arrived quickly as only one of the would-be burglars required hospitalization.
(1997, Canada) A woman in Canada called the police with a complaint that she had been burnt in a drug deal. She claimed that a man had sold her a rock of crack cocaine, but when she brought it home, it "looked like baking powder." The police dispatched a narcotics agent to her house, who tested the rock and verified that, despite its appearance, it was indeed cocaine. The woman was promptly arrested for drug possession. The RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) are encouraging anyone who thinks they may have been fooled into buying fake drugs to come forward.
(12 Jan 2001, West Virginia) A Charleston bank robbers alibi for the crime placed him in hot water when he claimed to be buying heroin in another state at the time of the robbery. He gave them a hotel receipt and police searched the room to find 84 packets of heroin. Police decline to comment on Donalds fate.
February 1998) ATM's have become a popular target for thieves. The law of averages demands that some attempts end unsuccessfully.
Our hero started out like most: He knew that in order to win the prize, he needed to get at the back of the machine. He pried it away from the wall with difficulty. As soon as he had enough clearance, he wriggled behind and started working on removing the rear panel.
At this point, the watchful reader will have noticed a few problems with his logic.
1. He has completely ignored the video camera.
2. A silent alarm is triggered if the machine is moved.
Furthermore, the ATM in question is three minutes away from a police station. As the sirens neared, our novice criminal decided to hide. When the police arrived, they saw that the machine had been tampered with, and assumed that the thief had fled. They secured the area and called in a forensics team.
The forensics team was dusting for fingerprints when a very loud ACHOOO! from behind the ATM.
In summary, the klutzy crook was videotaped, left fingerprints, and he hid behind the ATM.
(January 2001) Two men were taken to a Liverpool hospital on Saturday night after trying to burgle the house of pro soccer player Duncan Ferguson. Some years ago Ferguson, who earned the nicknames Drunken Ferguson and Duncan Disorderly, served 6 months in jail for grievous bodily injury to an opponent. This 64" kamikaze centre forward is arguably the most violent player in British pro football. The police must have arrived quickly as only one of the would-be burglars required hospitalization.
(1997, Canada) A woman in Canada called the police with a complaint that she had been burnt in a drug deal. She claimed that a man had sold her a rock of crack cocaine, but when she brought it home, it "looked like baking powder." The police dispatched a narcotics agent to her house, who tested the rock and verified that, despite its appearance, it was indeed cocaine. The woman was promptly arrested for drug possession. The RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) are encouraging anyone who thinks they may have been fooled into buying fake drugs to come forward.
(12 Jan 2001, West Virginia) A Charleston bank robbers alibi for the crime placed him in hot water when he claimed to be buying heroin in another state at the time of the robbery. He gave them a hotel receipt and police searched the room to find 84 packets of heroin. Police decline to comment on Donalds fate.
The Omega
Completely Insane
Those last two peopel are idiot! 
