Memoirs of a Failed Hero
I am John Masters, the High Roller, and I am quite literally the worst hero to exist, ever. Anyone who I try to get close to, anyone who I try to save; it doesn't matter at all. I just doom them to a painful and/or premature life as I try to fuffil my selfish desires. I am a horrible person, and a threat to the very peace I swore to uphold.
It all started last Friday, after school. I took the girl of my dreams, Jin Lun, to go see the premiere of Red Storm Rising. It was at first a perfect date in every way. I bought her everything she wanted, I picked out the best seats, and, despite her initial disdain to the premise, she absolutely loved the movie. They really got everything in the book, including the emotions of hopelessness and futility the book as a whole seemed to promote. I remember one part, she mistook my hand for a piece of popcorn, and tried to eat it. It was adorable, and I treasure that moment forever.
However, when the film ended, my life went downhill permanently. We discussed the film in the lobby, and we agreed it was great, but the true-to-the-book ending wasn't exactly the happiest. She then proposed that we could create our own happy ending for our night, and then I felt like I was in heaven. We were in the zone, and nothing could ever separate us. That is, however, before I tried kissing her.
For some reason I still do not understand, her entire attitude flipped faster than a second. As I leaned in, she started to fight me, leading up to the hardest headbutt I have ever felt. It is Tuesday and the bruise hasn't even started healing yet. Jin then inessentially called me a pervert and walked out on me. And just like that, my love was over. Nothing I could do or change about it. I would be lying if I said I didn't cry myself to sleep that night.
I tried forgetting about it over a weekend, and at first glance, it worked. As long as I pretended it never happened, there was no constant reminder of my broken heart. Of course, the illusion broke on Monday when I finally had to see her again. It was just as awful as I thought it was going to be. She was breaking down, I was breaking down, and the whole classroom was just filled to the brim with our collective melancholy. However, Jin had the luxury of her friends comforting her; I didn't. To top it all off, though, four kids were kidnapped, and they taunted us to go find them. Like if they knew we were supes.
Monday melted to Tuesday, and the pain grew only worse. Again, people sympathized with her, while I was left to be alone in corner. However, at that point I started to be glad about that. Having to explain what happened really hits you in the gut, as you have to explain every single thing that went wrong. Of course, then my luck, Jackie comes down and sits with me. Jin starts bawling more, probably because she thinks I'm trying to replace her even though it was never my intention to, and I in fact try to shoo her away. However, even when I screeched loud enough that the entire cafeteria heard me, she still stood there like if she was some therapist. Eventually I caved and told her everything, but as generic and quickly as possible. I don't think I even referenced Jin by name. Eventually, lunch ended, and I was quick getting out of there.
After school, for some strange reason even I don't know why, I decided to suit up as High Roller. I guess I must had figured that crime fighting could distract me. However, I realized life was different from comic books, and you couldn't escape your crappy life just by changing a costume. I ended up sitting on some park bench, watching the other heroes save the students as I slowly died from the inside. However, I had some unexpected help in the form of Sentinel. After that Batman impostor dropped the bomb that he knew my real life name, he convinced me, for a short bit, to forget my life and become High Roller once more.
At first I was kicking *** just as usual. Villains trembled from my razor cards, and I really felt like I could make a difference for once. I went to a room, and found these two weird girls. They refused to open their eyes, and they spoke in some weird monotone voice. Those girls, I swear, were on some sort of hive mind. I eventually started to get mentally bombarded, but I don't know from what. Eventually, a boy shows up carrying military-grade weapons, and introduced themselves under some number and letter gibberish. However, I recognized him as being Signan. The girls collapsed, the boys congratulated on me having an "impenetrable mind", and preceded to draw a knife with the intent of killing the two girls.
I, of course, decided to stop this by grabbing his arm. He disliked this intensely, but I wasn't going to let him kill these two girls for no reason. The other heroes with me agreed, and we eventually started fighting him when he wouldn't stop. It was an intense fight, one where I even started coughing up blood. Everyone was physically outmatched, and he had far better weapons than any of us. When some heroes came to back us up, Oswald came to help this freak, acting in some sort of weird hive mind-like thing not unlike the girls we were defending.
Eventually, I realized one of the girls was for all practical reasons dead. She was technically alive, but so mind damaged she was going to die before any proper treatment could be gotten for her. I decided to make a deal with those creepy boys. They could have the "dead" girl if they left the living one alone. They agreed, and we walked out with her, thinking the mission was a success. 3/4 students were found, and we even had this mystery girl no one even knew. It was a win-win. The Cardinal Rose and I gave her our number, and told her we would be there if she ever needed help if those psychos came hunting for her. She refused me escorting her home, saying she could deal with it herself. The two of us walked away, and our minds were at peace. But then I heard a firing of a sniper rifle. I didn't bother looking behind me; I knew exactly who killed who and why.
I let both of those girls die, and it was completely my fault. Had I insisted to protect her on her way home, I could had saved her. If I didn't make the deal, I probably could had saved the other. And don't get me started on Jin. I'm an absolute failure in every sense of the word. If I never tried "improving" the world, the world would be improved. Therefore, I'm done. I shouldn't be a hero, and therefore I won't be. Sentinel, Cardinal Rose, those are the heroes Doumedesville need. Not failures like me.
Ugh, its Tuesday night and this bruise is still as bright as it was on Friday.