the whole stealth destroyers not acting as escorts issue
I'd like to second that and extend it to a call for fixing seabattles in general.
The two current misconceptions:
a) stealth units don't defend, unless they're visible to the attacker
b) empty units defend, even if they're not the strongest unit in the stack
This leads to:
a) stealth vessels' usefulness being greatly reduced
b) missiles on missile cruisers threatening the missile cruisers defense cappabilities
As I wrote
here:
What's a strong ship in a convoy good for, if it won't defend it's convoy?
If I don't want my stealth ships to fight unless I use them for attacks (or they get spotted), I'll simply not put them on the convoy tile or in the convoy stack/group. Besides the power stealth brings is that the stealth unit has the element of surprise. So the enemy thinks he's attacking an unprotected transport convoy only to find himself ship to ship with a bunch of destroyers and subs.
Imo the best logic for chosing defenders in sea battles would be:
a) Strongest ship defends, be it stealth or not, loaded or empty.
b) If an empty and a loaded ship tie strength-wise, then the empty ship is chosen.