Today I rule most of the world, but it wasnt always that way. I used to be merely a tribal elder within the small group of nomads who eventually became Germany. It is true that I gave these nomads invaluable advice as to where to start their first permanent settlement, but after that point I mostly just got in the way.
Build settlers, I said. And Why arent you building those settlers faster? I harassed the cities governors as they went about their duties. I can do it better. No look, if you time it right you can build a warrior and a band of settlers in only the time it takes to build the latter. Dont roll your eyes at me! I thought I was doing much better than any other tribal leader could have been, but I was wrong. Very wrong.
While I was micromanaging production, road construction, and city placement the entire puny little German nation was being built into a tight little area of coasts and highlands. A mountain range marked our eastern border and the sea marked our western border. In the north our dominion ended in a hilly grassland, far more productive than all of our lands except for the fertile floodplains by Hamburg and Bremen, and in the south our control of the land ended at a vast and lifeless desert. Across the mountains lay Japan, a land of fertile valleys and violent natives, and to the south lay Babylon, a nation also well equipped with the weapons of war. To the north was the kingdom of France, a land notable primarily for its rich fields and for its large supply of a strange four-legged animal that the rest of the world seemed to enjoy to domesticate and ride around on. Unfortunately, there was not a horse in all of Germany, so it looked like we would not get the opportunity to try this.
Finding my tribe in this grim situation, the first thing I did was speak to Joan, the ruler of the French. Your cities are so much more productive than mine, I exclaimed. While all that my tribal councils do is roll some goat bones around in a cup and throw them out on the floor so that we can look at them and somehow try to divine what to do, you have advisors and trained military leaders. Plus everyone here seems to think that you are inspired by your god.
We call it divine right monarchy, she replied, and it works a lot better than your ancient despotism. We also have this thing called currency.
Oh, I exclaimed so that explains that little display on my monitor that says 150 Gold (+ 2 per turn). I always thought it was some kind of message from the gods about those goat bones. Can you teach me this concept of monarchy? Thats right, not only were we weak militarily, we were scientifically backwards!
After I had traded some technology with Joan and later with Xerxes (the Japanese were a crude, obnoxious, and warlike people, and all they did was threaten me), I started a nice little revolution and made sure that I was put into a position of king over all of Germany. My wisemen had long since informed me that the chunks of red-gray metal in the mountains north of Heidelburg could be used to make weapons, so now I called Germanys best smiths together and told them Start making these chunks of iron into sharpened metal bars. If youre feeling really industrious, you can even put points on them! Yes, I was going to make my nation into a military power if it had nothing else to recommend it. And I did this not a moment too soon.
You are trespassing on German soil, I informed the commander of a small group of Japanese spearmen who were in the process of escorting a band of settlers past Bremen.
He spat into the dust at my feet. Japan is a mighty nation, unlike yours, and we go where we want! We have horses and Germany is known to have nothing. You cannot make us leave. He sneered down at me from the height that the good nutrition of living in a country that had figured out how to catch fish provided him with.
If you dont get out of here, we will fight you! I exclaimed.
Oh this ought to be good, the Japanese spearman smirked.
And so we were at war with Japan. Fortunately for all of their horses and good nutrition, the Japanese lacked one crucial ingredient that all advanced armies needed: iron. Unfortunately, they had the ear of Xerxes and of the Indian ruler. Within a few turns I was at war with the known world except for France.
My troops seized Edo in the opening days of the war, but then there was no moving forward. Enemy horsemen controlled the land in all direction and archers came in huge numbers to wear down my swordsmen. Persian swordsmen rampaged up and down the front, attacking cities repeatedly and in large numbers. Were it not for the discovery of a type of weapon that the wisemen call a pike, it is entirely possible that Germanys existence would have ended then and there. As it was we held, but barely.
When the Indian army showed up, I knew it was the end. Before this point, all that I had known of India was that it lay somewhere beyond Japan, but know I knew that it had both iron and horses and that it had thousands of men-at-arms. I called Gandhi to the negotiation table, hoping that he would be a kindly old pacifist. Unfortunately he was a warmongering lunatic and I had to empty my treasury to his fiendish empire to get him to leave.
Now I called Xerxes. How about a peace treaty, I inquired, trying not to let my desperate willingness to do just about anything to end the war show.
OK, he replied. Wow, I didnt even have to offer him anything. That sure made my day.
Now it was time to extract my revenge on Japan. Without iron or allies, the Japanese archer died left and right. My glorious swordsmen advanced steadily, often killing two, three, four, or even five enemy units for each German force that fell. Japans military was destroyed. I prepared for my glorious victory celebration. I would stomp those fools into the dirt!
Unfortunately, nothing seemed to go my way for long. French forces began pouring across Germanys northern border. Spearmen stormed my mountain iron mines and destroyed them utterly. My troops in Japan had been outmaneuvered by horsemen and began dying in much larger numbers as I tried to withdraw them. Now I had lost my chance to go forward on this front and it looked like I might not manage to get my army back to Germany. Finally, I turned the army back on Osaka, Japans supply of gems, and stripped the Persian border bare of troops to defend against France.
Soon I contacted the Japanese ruler and requested peace. I made him give me his world map and a pittance of gold, but I was not pleased with the measly tribute I had extracted. I would deal first with the traitor Joan, but I vowed I would return to Japan and finish what I had begun.
Now with Germanys full attention diverted to France, enough swordsmen were available to not only blunt the enemy offensive but to attack. Our supply of iron had not yet been restored, as construction in the inhospitable mountains around Hiedelburg took time, but soon this didnt matter. The capture of Tours provided another iron supply, and Gandi showed his more peaceful side, trading me horses for some luxuries. Equipped with heavily armored mounted warriors called knights, German forces seized three more cities, including Orleans. Then, the French discovered gunpowder and I had to stop and make peace, not wanting to give them a golden age for defeating one of my units with a musketeer.
Another continent was discovered across the great ocean to the west. No German explorer located it, for the constant and mostly unproductive wars up to this point had drained all resources that could otherwise have been spent on exploration, but various quantities of gold were traded with Germanys neighbors until contact had been gained with all of the foreign powers and then the English agreed to trade maps with us. On the other continent was China, in the south where there were resources, cropland, and mineral-rich hills aplenty. In the north lay the nation of England, a land with some resources, but as we later discovered, no oil and really not enough room to permit a great power to exit. Right between them in a stretch of worthless jungle, lay Zululand. It really looked like China got the only worthwhile starting position of the three of them.
When Germanys scientists uncovered this technique of gunpowder production, it turned out that our entire nations only supply of saltpeter was right outside of Orleans. What luck that I had taken it. Otherwise it would have been like the horses all over again (Orleans also had a supply of horses thankfully. Now I wouldnt have to depend on the Indians for imports). The world lapsed into peace and it appeared that perhaps my fighting days were done. Once musketeers were obsolete, I briefly talked the Persians, Japanese, and Indians into killing off France for me and sat back, planning my diplomatic victory. Fortunately, this need for diplomacy and peace was soon to change.