- The camps spawn on turn1 and can get very close to the capitals. There is no way to produce enough units so early and not enough time to clear the fog enough to know where they are, so it's purely about luck.
- If the camps spawn horsed barbs and your city is on flat landscape, good luck, they'll kill all your slingers within seconds. Once again, it's about luck.
- As mentioned, you either change your way of playing primarily for handling the barbs or turn it off. There is no middle ground.
I disagree with these 3 points.
This doesn't sound like luck to me, it sounds more like you have picked a way you are going to play and when it doesn't work then it's the game's fault.
It's not luck because you KNOW that barbarians are probably going to be nearby, you KNOW that you are going to be dealing with them and you ac accordingly. If you choose to go monument opening then you are deliberately running the risk of getting attacked. You know the risk, you have acted accordingly and it didn't work out. That's not luck to me.
Same with flat terrain. Sure you might not get a perfect run, but that doesn't mean all is lost. Deal with it as best as possible, make choices based on that and go.
It's not a matter of changing your way, it is playing the way it is intended. It is different to older versions as you need units earlier. That's like saying you have to change the way you play because I don't want to build cities, I just want my capitol to do it alone. Why can't just use my capitol?? It's not fair!!!
Barbarians are supposed to be annoying. They are supposed to challenge you. It's a risk/reward decision of do I make more units or do I go for that building. Lots of people want to go for the building (it was the same issue that many people learning to play Deity in Civ5 had), whereas units early is very important.
It also makes sense to me as a representation/abstraction of history. I see the barbarians as representing the smaller neighbours Civilizations faced early on. For example they are the equivalent of the Etruscans, Iberians and early Gauls for Rome. While the other Civs are the big boys like Persia, Carthage and Egypt.
Also historically, military was vital for early civilizations and was around well before more cultural pursuits.