Watcha Writin'?

[Zkribbler]

I posted my fanfic yesterday. I am editing the second chapter now.

(If you like Mass Effect, PM me. I'll send a link.)

I know nothing about Mass Effect, yet I was able to follow your story.
I really like the way you, instead of writing your main character did A, B, and C, you take us into MC;s feelings as MC is doing A, B, and C. This really sucks us into the story.
My favorite part is the ending of Chap 1, where you purposely paint yourself into a corner. I'm waiting for Chap 2 to see how you get out of this.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

My original draft actually had me skipping around various POVs, but it got a little confusing. So I just switched to one for the second draft.

 

[Zkribbler]

My original draft actually had me skipping around various POVs, but it got a little confusing. So I just switched to one for the second draft.

I've observed the same phenomenon. It's all quite clear when it's being written, but when reading back over it, multiple POVs turn into confusing mush. Now, when I do this, each POV goes into its own chapter with a clear indicator at the beginning of the switch.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

I probably could have kept the multiple POVs and used Scrivener to keep track (you can colour the different index cards), but I decided against it.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

gimme summa dat dank wordplay pl0x

In my experience, jumping around multiple POVs within a single chapter is always rocky sailing—it's not impossible to pull off, but it takes a deft hand to make it 'flow'. Every time I read "_x's POV" my eyes glaze over.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

I've read published novels where the author changed POVs multiple times in the same scene. I was mostly left confused.

Even worse is I once read a fanfic where they wrote the same scene twice from different POVs, even though they both essentially said the same thing. Why?

 

[Synobun]

I've read published novels where the author changed POVs multiple times in the same scene. I was mostly left confused.

Even worse is I once read a fanfic where they wrote the same scene twice from different POVs, even though they both essentially said the same thing. Why?

It is so immensely difficult to do intra-chapter POV switches well that I wholesale recommend limiting to one POV per chapter. It's possible to do well, but the people who do it well are vastly outnumbered by the people who don't, and the upside of trying it and succeeding is outweighed by the loss of quality if you try it and fail.

It requires a lot of finesse, and many storytelling approaches are incompatible with it. Even if someone can do it, it's possible the stories they write aren't even conducive to it.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

My favorite part is the ending of Chap 1, where you purposely paint yourself into a corner. I'm waiting for Chap 2 to see how you get out of this.

Nah, it wasn't really intended to be that. There's three endings of Mass Effect 3 - and the one that's described in this fic (the blue wave of energy & the geth showing up was mentioned prominently to show this) is one of the endings that always kills Shepard. So the reader would actually expect that Shepard died.

(Well, unless they read my summary. But the main hook of my fic was a Control ending where Shepard survived, so it seemed...silly to hide it, especially since it was only a surprise in the first chapter.)

 

[Valka D'Ur]

I'm guilty of multiple POVs in the same chapter (not that I actually have chapters, since I'm not even sure exactly where some of the scenes are going to end up).

The easiest part of my Kingmaker story will be what is directly based on the game, because that is all from one single character's POV. What got me going off into other characters' POVs is that I honestly wondered what they thought about the situation.

For instance, there's a scene in Kingmaker: Rise to the Throne where the POV character and another character talk about the true heir to the throne proving his lineage. That person is standing right there, listening, and this is the first time in the game he's been explicitly told that there even is a true heir, never mind that it's him. Yet he takes it all in stride and doesn't question anything at all ("Oh, you want me to go on a quest to find my ancestor's legendary crown? Okay. I mean, I've just been framed for the king's murder, captured, tortured, and had to escape by jumping out of a storm pipe into a lake a long way below while wearing armor and trying not to drown while swimming to the shore and by the way I'm the rightful king and nobody told me before two minutes ago, but that's cool, no problem").

I decided that yes, he is going to question it, and demand answers. He's going to have some serious thoughts about those answers. That necessitates getting into his head, and that means his POV.

I don't know if I can pull this off, but I plan to try. It's going to be a challenge, though.

 

[Zkribbler]

We had a conversation elsewhere whether sapient octopi, lacking fire, could form a civilization. IMHO, they could up to the technology level of engines. In my mind, this would be the equivalent of the Wild West, but lacking locomotives, fire arms, and kerosene lanterns.

I've been unable, as yet, to produce any story for this quarter's Writers of the Future contest. So I've mow begun work on a story of octosapients driving a pod of whales across the sea to save one of their cities from starvation.

Word count: 160

 

[Valka D'Ur]

You're having the whales eaten by octopi?

 

[Zkribbler]

You're having the whales eaten by octopi?

The way we eat cows (and whales for that matter.)

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Cows are domestic food animals. Whales are sentient beings. They are not the same.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

Pigs have also been reported as being very intelligent and able to recognize themselves in a mirror. Do you avoid eating pork?

After editing + posting the first two chapters, I'm a little unsatisfied with Chapter 3. It's nothing specific that I can pinpoint, just a general feeling. So I decided to shuffle it off to the old draft/cut-out scenes (sometimes I write something, but it doesn't work, but I keep it in case I can repurpose it later) and start from scratch to see if I can figure it out.

I think part of it may have been because the story was running away on me and I was just trying to keep up with it. Now that I kind of have a slightly better idea what's going on (...sort of), I can step back and sort it out.

Also: Has anyone else had the feeling of something itching in their brain about the story but not really understanding what it is? I think I've mentioned before that I'm more of a visual thinker (part of the reason I write so slowly is trying to figure out how to translate my mind-pictures to words, and that can get...tiring), so it's kind of like seeing something in the distance when I have my glasses off and it's dark.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Pigs have also been reported as being very intelligent and able to recognize themselves in a mirror. Do you avoid eating pork?

No, but this is not really the place for this argument. I think there's a thread in OT somewhere.

Also: Has anyone else had the feeling of something itching in their brain about the story but not really understanding what it is? I think I've mentioned before that I'm more of a visual thinker (part of the reason I write so slowly is trying to figure out how to translate my mind-pictures to words, and that can get...tiring), so it's kind of like seeing something in the distance when I have my glasses off and it's dark.

Try adding music to the mix of words and mind-pictures, and it's even more frustrating.

One of the things I do when I have a problem like this is tell myself to sit back and just let in whatever thoughts want to come into your mind. Don't worry about pushing them in a specific direction. Just let them find their own place in your story, if that's where they end up.

I did that a couple of days ago and ended up with 3.5 new characters (one isn't born yet), the three adults are named, I'm working on a basic background for them, and yes, one of them actually does fit in with what's already written or at least plotted; I just hadn't gotten around to naming him yet.

I wanted some consequences to happen with an ordinary noble family when part of them support the side of the traitors and the others don't, but get caught up anyway. Fast-forward and the main protagonist will have to decide at what point does the line get crossed between suspecting something is off and outright treason.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

I was able to pick out a few specific things in the chapter that was bothering me. I guess that's better than before. I'll focus on fixing those and see if it helps.

EDIT: okay, I'll stop now. It's fun writing in Wingdings though.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

I was able to pick out a few specific things in the chapter that was bothering me. I guess that's better than before. I'll focus on fixing those and see if it helps.

EDIT: okay, I'll stop now. It's fun writing in Wingdings though.

Translation, please?

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

"I was able to pick out a few specific things in the chapter that was bothering me. I guess that's better than before. I'll focus on fixing those and see if it helps."

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Thank you.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

While revising my third chapter, I accidentally managed to double the wordcount of a certain part. I thought that editing was supposed to be cutting things out.