Watcha Writin'?

[Valka D'Ur]

Last night, I was thinking about Pizza Delivery Guy, my unfinished near-future thriller about a residential burglar who disguises himself as a pizza delivery guy.

Once the corona shutdown is lifted, will we even have pizza delivery guys or will they have been replaced by drones?

We still have pizza delivery guys here, so why wouldn't we have them later?

 

[Zkribbler]

We still have pizza delivery guys here, so why wouldn't we have them later?

Because drones work for free and their cost/mile is minuscule. The covid-19 lockdown will put fleet of them in the air.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Because drones work for free and their cost/mile is minuscule. The covid-19 lockdown will put fleet of them in the air.

And how is a drone supposed to deliver a pizza to an apartment?

 

[Zkribbler]

Deliver it to your balcony.

Plan B: Hover outside the main door and robocall you to come out and get it.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Deliver it to your balcony.

Plan B: Hover outside the main door and robocall you to come out and get it.

Balcony delivery by drone...now that's a service. Requires mapping balconies to apartment numbers though.

Meanwhile, I am writing a book, slated for twelve chapters plus intro and epilogue. I committed to a chapter a week of first draft, and have thus far hit deadline three weeks in a row. I want to put this down in writing, but in a place where it is not as "official" as it would be elsewhere...

I need to get off the deadline crutch. Truth is, the first week I actually wrote the chapter in three days, the second week it was two, and yesterday it was...well, yesterday. While a chapter a week might have sounded like an ambitious pace, really I have no idea what my throughput capacity is and I'm curious to find out. So I am thinking I will shift to a see how fast I can do this test philosophy rather than the current I am deadline driven and I do not miss philosophy.

 

[Zkribbler]

Meanwhile, I am writing a book...

...slated for twelve chapters plus intro and epilogue.

Danger, Will Robinson, danger!

A decade ago I saw the results of a poll asking literary agents for the WORST way to begin a novel. 7 out of the 22 respondents opined that its with a preface. That's 1/3. There was no explanation, I believe it's because potential readers pick up a book wish to read it. A preface is a stumbling block, preventing the reader from getting to the story.

At the time I was working on my first novel...which began with a preface. I exorcised the preface and moved it to later in the story as a flashback.

[Two other worst ways to begin a novel are (1) waking up in the morning, and (2) with a description of the weather.]

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Danger, Will Robinson, danger!

A decade ago I saw the results of a poll asking literary agents for the WORST way to begin a novel. 7 out of the 22 respondents opined that its with a preface. That's 1/3. There was no explanation, I believe it's because potential readers pick up a book wish to read it. A preface is a stumbling block, preventing the reader from getting to the story.

At the time I was working on my first novel...which began with a preface. I exorcised the preface and moved it to later in the story as a flashback.

[Two other worst ways to begin a novel are (1) waking up in the morning, and (2) with a description of the weather.]

Well, the key is what goes in the intro. The proposed structure has two of the main events exposited briefly in the introduction as a hook.

It isn't a novel, by the way, so dunno about applicability in the first place. I will say this about starting a novel though...weather isn't always a bad start. There was a Dean Koontz novel (one of many) that I enjoyed (as I usually do) and the first sentence was "Hard spikes of rain nailed the night sky to the wet city streets." I loved that sentence.

 

[Zkribbler]

...the first sentence was "Hard spikes of rain nailed the night sky to the wet city streets."

This isn't writing; this is typing.

This sentence tells the reader nothing about the characters, the conflict, the setting, the theme, or the style. At most it implies a little about the story's mood because the night is raining. Most sinful of all, this sentence does nothing to push the reader to read the second sentence.
You laud this opening, but I submit the following sentences must have done something to resuscitate this weak beginning.

A similar line from one of my stories reads: "Through a sweltering night filled with tropical rain, Detective-Lieutenant Lucrezia Virago flew on her broomstick"
Yes, my story too has heavy night rain, but I go on to introduce a witch flying on her broomstick, and moreover indicate she's a police detective.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

This isn't writing; this is typing.

This sentence tells the reader nothing about the characters, the conflict, the setting, the theme, or the style. At most it implies a little about the story's mood because the night is raining. Most sinful of all, this sentence does nothing to push the reader to read the second sentence.
You laud this opening, but I submit the following sentences must have done something to resuscitate this weak beginning.

A similar line from one of my stories reads: "Through a sweltering night filled with tropical rain, Detective-Lieutenant Lucrezia Virago flew on her broomstick"
Yes, my story too has heavy night rain, but I go on to introduce a witch flying on her broomstick, and moreover indicate she's a police detective.

Sweltering is a blah word. Tropical is a blah word. I get it, we're set somewhere within thirty degrees of the equator. I'll bet there's a jungle involved, and maybe I read on if someone wants to take the bet so we can resolve that. Police witch on a broomstick...meh. If I didn't already know this was a fantasy/cop story I'm kinda pissed to find out, and if I already knew then this told me nothing.

Yes, hard spikes of rain, on a practical level just tells me it's raining, but it does set a mood, even more so when they are nailing the sky. And the wet city streets provides a setting. If I ask you for the setting in three words, which three are really more informative; "in a city" or "in the tropics"? The tropics is a big place, with possible settings from the heart of the jungle to the teeming slums of Mumbai and everything in between, so you've "promised" that I will be getting multiple blah words and precious little information...a promise I hope you don't keep. Koontz has given mood and setting in one very punchy sentence. I'm in. Sold. Me and the teeming millions. It may not be literature, but it's a living.

 

[Zkribbler]

Sweltering is a blah word. Tropical is a blah word. I get it, we're set somewhere within thirty degrees of the equator. I'll bet there's a jungle involved,

Nope. This is a noir-type murder mystery, so the city is the equivalent of this world's Los Angeles, and the heavy rain is a "Pineapple Express" up from "Hawaii."

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Nope. This is a noir-type murder mystery, so the city is the equivalent of this world's Los Angeles, and the heavy rain is a "Pineapple Express" up from "Hawaii."

So what little information it conveyed turns out to be misleading...and that makes it better?

 

[Zkribbler]

So what little information it conveyed turns out to be misleading...and that makes it better?

What makes it better is that it impels the reader to read the second sentence, which is the most important function of a first sentence. It also introduces the main character and implies a police investigation.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

What makes it better is that it impels the reader to read the second sentence, which is the most important sentence of a first sentence. It also introduces the main character and implies a police investigation.

Like I said, I expect I already knew it was a fantasy police drama of some sort. I get what you are trying to do, but sweltering and tropical are just blah, and apparently not even informative. I keep reading because I never quit, not because you have created a vivid image that hooks me in.

 

[Zkribbler]

Remember last December when I almost forgot to submit my story to the Writers of the Future Contest?

I've just been informed that my "Ali Baba and the 8th Ring of Alexander the Great" has won an Honorable Mention. This does not mean money nor publication, but I do get a certificate.

It begins:

“Is this the end of Ali Baba and his forty thieves?” sighed the legendary bandit as he paced the Devil Wind’s quarterdeck. His sleek ship was cutting swiftly through the night sea as they headed for the crusaders’ fortress-city of Acre.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Remember last December when I almost forgot to submit my story to the Writers of the Future Contest?

I've just been informed that my "Ali Baba and the 8th Ring of Alexander the Great" has won an Honorable Mention. This does not mean money nor publication, but I do get a certificate.

It begins:

I like that one way better than the other one. Not as much as hard spikes of rain, but it has some pizzazz. Bandits and quarterdecks are always interesting.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Deliver it to your balcony.

That won't work. My balcony door is stuck.

Plan B: Hover outside the main door and robocall you to come out and get it.

Not gonna happen. When I pay for delivery, I expect delivery to my home. I don't live outside.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Balcony delivery by drone...now that's a service. Requires mapping balconies to apartment numbers though.

Meanwhile, I am writing a book, slated for twelve chapters plus intro and epilogue. I committed to a chapter a week of first draft, and have thus far hit deadline three weeks in a row. I want to put this down in writing, but in a place where it is not as "official" as it would be elsewhere...

I need to get off the deadline crutch. Truth is, the first week I actually wrote the chapter in three days, the second week it was two, and yesterday it was...well, yesterday. While a chapter a week might have sounded like an ambitious pace, really I have no idea what my throughput capacity is and I'm curious to find out. So I am thinking I will shift to a see how fast I can do this test philosophy rather than the current I am deadline driven and I do not miss philosophy.

On the one hand, this was an epic fail. I had about a third of the chapter written by Tuesday, and wrote the rest on the last day, barely.

On the other hand, I did make my fourth deadline in a row, even if only by six minutes.

 

[Zkribbler]

I have been distracted by a game on Steam: Crossroads Inn, which bills itself as a tavern sim and a RPG. The player begins by building a tavern and then slowing expands the business into an international trading empire. It sounds like a good premise for a story. On Day 1: 600 words.

 

[Zkribbler]

I have just signed up for a free, intermediate writing workshop offered by Writers of the Future. Judges are Orson Scott Card, David Farland, and Tim Powers. https://www.writersofthefuture.com/register/online-workshop/
Who's with me?

Here's their pitch.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to attend the annual Writers of the Future Workshop? How about a front-row seat with judges Orson Scott Card, David Farland, and Tim Powers? How about attending while in the comfort of your home?

And what if it was free?

Well, I am extremely excited to announce the launch of L. Ron Hubbard's Writers of the Future Online Workshop!

This workshop will take you through the process of coming up with story ideas, doing research, outlining, plotting, steps to writing your story, writing description, dialogue, and narration, adding suspense, formulating the beginning, middle, and end of your story, and controlling your productivity.

SciFi Magazine calls it ‟an extension of L. Ron Hubbard's Writers of the Future (WOTF) Contest, the world's preeminent competition for up-and-coming genre authors.”

It is available for you now for free. Copy the following link https://www.writersofthefuture.com/register/online-workshop/

That will take you right to the contest registration page!

 

[Zkribbler]

Day 2: 650 words total
Not much new written today, but at last I have a title [Underneath the Unicorn Moon], my main character has tried on a dozen names, the harbor has had three names, the tavern two. A smattering of support characters have shown up. When my antagonist sailed by with a masthead of a black, snarling sea serpent, this induced an idea for my main character's masthead: a golden unicorn. This in turn inspired the story's title and inspired a pantheon of astrological symbols: eaglet, cat, locust, salmon, dragon, dog, doppelganger, viper, monkey, unicorn, crow, vulture.