Wedding speeches...

[GinandTonic]

So I have to make a giving the bride away speech for my cousin, and I'm in need of a few pointers.

To give a little background -

I'm 32, coz is 24ish and getting hitched to her university b/f. Her parents divorced and dad living out of the country. Her dad is frankly barking. Relations between my dad, her dad and their younger brother broke down after their mother died, where in so far as anyone was my dad was the good guy. Looks after the bride a sight more than her father does from Germany etc. Bride invites all three brothers (duh) on condition they can behave in the same room etc. Refuses my dads offer to stay away to keep the peace.

Her dad and other uncle have chosen to come to the ceremony but not the other bits of the do. So someone has to the speech at the meal. In the absense of her dad and with her mum being just unsuited to public speaking this is a problem. Under the circs it really should be my dad, but that would be something of a slap in the face to her old man which is why it falls to me.

If it has any bearing the b/f is Indian. Born in the UK to two doctors, brought up mostly in India. So all jokes have to be complehensible to both cultures.

So does anyone have any ideas WTH I'm going for here? What sort of tone I should go for? What, in short, does a cousin of the bride speech consist of? Can I posibly get away with just not mentioning the break with tradition? How do the Indian side of the wedding fit into all this? If I give a speech but am not the best man do I still get laid with one of the bridesmaids?

People who have spoken at weddings help me!!

 

[warpus]

Most people, when writing these, just steal a buncha wedding-speech jokes off the internet, and go from there. You could probably find indian-related jokes out there.. Seriously, 95% of the speeches I've heard at weddings had generic jokes.

I made mine a bit different.. and risky.. and luckily it was well accepted. I shouldn't really be giving you advice though, as I generally hate giving speeches.

 

[GoodGame]

Something to the effect of: Your cuz is a wonderful person and her b/f is a wonderful person. They'll have wonderful times together. I wouldn't worry about making jokes, since it's not a roast. Just try to get some pleasant conversation going (introduce everyone to each other) and be sure everyone is stuffed full of mignon and wine.

EDIT: Keep it brief, personalized, customized to the subjects.

P

 

[mrt144]

So I have to make a giving the bride away speech for my cousin, and I'm in need of a few pointers.

To give a little background -

I'm 32, coz is 24ish and getting hitched to her university b/f. Her parents divorced and dad living out of the country. Her dad is frankly barking. Relations between my dad, her dad and their younger brother broke down after their mother died, where in so far as anyone was my dad was the good guy. Looks after the bride a sight more than her father does from Germany etc. Bride invites all three brothers (duh) on condition they can behave in the same room etc. Refuses my dads offer to stay away to keep the peace.

Her dad and other uncle have chosen to come to the ceremony but not the other bits of the do. So someone has to the speech at the meal. In the absense of her dad and with her mum being just unsuited to public speaking this is a problem. Under the circs it really should be my dad, but that would be something of a slap in the face to her old man which is why it falls to me.

If it has any bearing the b/f is Indian. Born in the UK to two doctors, brought up mostly in India. So all jokes have to be complehensible to both cultures.

So does anyone have any ideas WTH I'm going for here? What sort of tone I should go for? What, in short, does a cousin of the bride speech consist of? Can I posibly get away with just not mentioning the break with tradition? How do the Indian side of the wedding fit into all this? If I give a speech but am not the best man do I still get laid with one of the bridesmaids?

People who have spoken at weddings help me!!

Is it a Hindu Wedding?

 

[GinandTonic]

Is it a Hindu Wedding?

Godless wedding. The UK leg would prob have been CoE if granny was still alive. As to what his family are lapsed in, Hindu as far as it goes. Talked with him about religion a fair bit but Christain, Hindu and Muslim are all "they" not we. Happy couple both doing their phd's, indian parents both MD's so really educated past the point of it having much relivance.

 

[illram]

Every wedding I've been to the "dad" speech is sentimental and not really of the joking type. The jokes are in the best man's speech. Situation sounds like a lot of baggage and drama so it sounds like you should take the high road and just try to be nice and thoughtful, possibly with some lighthearted humor so long as you are sure it would go over well with everyone. Maybe a cute anecdote about your cousin that you know everyone will enjoy, followed up with something showing why you think she will have a good marriage with the boyfriend (another anecdote possibly) and the rest of the speech about how awesome she is/what a great life she will have, yada yada.

Generally can't go wrong with a nice, either sentimental/funny/lighthearted and relevant personal story involving the bride and possibly the groom, if you have one.

Internet wedding jokes? People use those? Jesus.

 

[mrt144]

Godless wedding. The UK leg would prob have been CoE if granny was still alive. As to what his family are lapsed in, Hindu as far as it goes. Talked with him about religion a fair bit but Christain, Hindu and Muslim are all "they" not we. Happy couple both doing their phd's, indian parents both MD's so really educated past the point of it having much relivance.

Just wondering because my boss had a Hindu wedding and they're several day events and not the somber affairs we have in the west

 

[GinandTonic]

Just wondering because my boss had a Hindu wedding and they're several day events and not the somber affairs we have in the west

Yeah I think the Indian leg is a bit more full-on, but I cant go as skint, moving house and working. Besides my old man can do the head of the family thing over there and it can be passed off to his brother as the locals being old-school.

Every wedding I've been to the "dad" speech is sentimental and not really of the joking type. The jokes are in the best man's speech. Situation sounds like a lot of baggage and drama so it sounds like you should take the high road and just try to be nice and thoughtful, possibly with some lighthearted humor so long as you are sure it would go over well with everyone.

This is the crux of the thing. What is a cousine of the bride speech? Cant go the mawkish oedipal papa path (or electral, or whatever) or just crib from Hugh Grant's best man speech. Need to find the right mid-tone for the thing.

 

[illram]

There really isn't a prototypical "cousin of the bride" speech, but on the other hand I don't think anyone will expect some sort of fatherly wisdom speech thing from you. Without really knowing you but just judging from the age thing my guess is, if you want to "categorize" the speech think of it as an older brother giving a speech at his younger sister's wedding.

With that in mind, if I was in the position of speaking at my younger cousin's wedding, I would probably do something along the lines of what I mentioned earlier if I wanted to be safe. Anecdotal, cute story, why you love her or think she's great, why the marriage will be great or why the day was so special to you, yada yada. Can't go wrong with a theme about why your cousin is so great, why she is so special, etc. etc... that's kind of your job in this scenario I guess. Obviously don't veer into any weird territory there.

Trying to be a comedian at a wedding can either work out great or totally bomb, it depends on the kind of person you are and your audience, so you would be the best judge of that. But really I don't think you can go wrong with some sort of anecdote and then follow up with something meaningful about why you think her marriage will be a happy one. People will appreciate kind meaningful words and sincerity.

Have you asked your cousin what she expects/wants? How long you should speak?

 

[Shadylookin]

I would do a generic and bland speech congratulating them and wishing them well. Jokes are for the best man not the father-of-the-bride fill in.

In fact all the weddings I've been to(admittedly few) only the best man gave a speech at the reception. I think you should convince the father to suck it up and go to his daughter's wedding reception and let him do the speech.

 

[Masada]

I recommend that you learn to speak very quickly on an incomprehensible theme with the intention of mystifying everyone for rest of the duration of the ceremony.