Then another new planet shows up, except it is already colonized by a hostile race weilding plasma rifles. The human race tries to colonize it, but the aliens very quickly kill all that landed.
But it turns out that was actually the real Republic of Mars, who didn't kil me, the only human left, because they think I'm a god named Mzzizzlplzzl. I legally changed my name to Mzzizzlplizzl.
But then it turns out that I'm actually Mzzizzlplizzl, the god of the Martians, so I'm immortal. Mzzizzlplizzl happens to be Mississippi in Martian, so the Republic takes over Mississippi, Arkansas, and Louisiana, and the Interplanet Republic of Mars sets up its Earth headquarters at New Orleans.
Then the fledgling nation was hit by Hurricane Katrina II (D'Artagnan59, for the first time in history, did NOT survive). Horsemen from Wisconsin swept in and looted the ruins, then died because global warming had made that latitude unlivable for humans. The Empire of Wisconsin never fully recovered, and was conquered by Ohio-Michigan a decade later. Farther east, Lutzj's Principality of Connecticut came to rule over much of New England.
But I'm immortal, and New Orleans always rebuilds itself after it's destroyed. And Mars is still intact. Then, the IGTM (Intergalactic Theocracy of Mars) expands to conquer Georgiabama, Florida, Southern Carolina, Oklahoma, and Texas.
So we forced them to Mars and razed it to the ground, killing Chris Crocker in the process. The earth rejoiced and Mexico and America decided to join us.
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