Aphex_Twin
Evergreen
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2002
- Messages
- 7,474
ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
BILL CLINTON: The chicken did NOT cross the road. Not a single time. Never. (It was a boulevard.)
BILL GATES: I have just released Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
BUDDHA: Asking the question denies your own chicken nature.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurities.
HILLARY CLINTON: It was a vast right-wing conspiracy against my husband.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
JERRY SEINFELD: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, what the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?
KARL MARX: It was an historical inevitability.
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken "crossed" the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
PLATO: For the greater good.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road...it transcended it.
RICHARD NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road, I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
BILL CLINTON: The chicken did NOT cross the road. Not a single time. Never. (It was a boulevard.)
BILL GATES: I have just released Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
BUDDHA: Asking the question denies your own chicken nature.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurities.
HILLARY CLINTON: It was a vast right-wing conspiracy against my husband.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
JERRY SEINFELD: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, what the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?
KARL MARX: It was an historical inevitability.
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken "crossed" the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
PLATO: For the greater good.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road...it transcended it.
RICHARD NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road, I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
I've seen it lots of times, but its still funny. Let me try to add some more:
jk cgannon just making it real life. 
