100 Of The Funniest Thing To Put On Your Answering Machine Theard

(Soothing voice) "You have reached the Pizza Talk information center. Please ask any technical questions regarding Pizza. Previous help includes: 'Put it in the oven, you moron', and 'Set it to 10000 degrees till it burns your house down', and even, 'Fold the pizza in half'. To ask your question, leave a message after our fire alarm goes off. (in background) Hey! get that pizza away from me! *slap* OW! *Fire alarm* BEEP.
 
"Wake up Neo, they're after you. You can get away but you need to do exactly what I say. Now, leave a message after the tone, and stay low." *Beep*
 
" *children yelling in background* Sorry, but (name) can't come to the *I WANT MY MOMMIE!* phone right now *child screaches* please leave your message after the "DEAR GOD! SAVE ME! I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE! THE LITTLE DEMONS ARE KILLING ME!!!" *insert sounds of children fighting and beating you up*"

Or something like that.


"Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Leave your message after the beep to wish happy birthday to!
Happy Birthday dear (your name) ! *BEEP* "
 
Put Starship Tropers in your VCR/DVD player and turn the volume waaaaay up. Then, when it gets to one of the battle scenes, record this message:

"Hello, this is the residence of <Insert Name Here>. No one can come to the phone right now because there's some sort of bug problem and we're having our house fumigated. Leave a message, and we might get back to you after all the nerve gas settles."
 
"This answering machine has been hacked by Al-Qaeda. The number you are phoning belongs to a person on our terror list, and everybody who's phoning it are automatically added to it. We will spare you if you swear to convert to Islam after the beep." *beep*

More PWers... About time we stopped being geeks all the time... ;)
 
Put in Home Alone 2: The movie, and set it to the scene where the toolchest falls down the stairs. Then record this:

"Hey, this is <Name> and I can't come to the... hey, what's that sound-AAARGH! <SMASH> *Marv says, 'That was the sound of a toolchest... falling down the stairs.'" *BEEP*
 
The Person said:
"Sorry, I'm busy playing Civ. I'll play only one more turn and then I'll call you back, OK?" *beep*
Click to expand...

I can't believe it took someone so long to say that!
 
Hi!
This is Mary and John's answering machine. We are sorry that we can't come to the phone right now as we are doing somehting we both really enjoy. Mary likes it slowly up and down, John prefers a more vigourous pace and is experimenting with the sideways movement. But please leave a message, we'll get back to you as soon as we're done cleaning our teeth.
 
Mathilda said:
Hi!
This is Mary and John's answering machine. We are sorry that we can't come to the phone right now as we are doing somehting we both really enjoy. Mary likes it slowly up and down, John prefers a more vigourous pace and is experimenting with the sideways movement. But please leave a message, we'll get back to you as soon as we're done cleaning our teeth.
Click to expand...

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Now that's a good one!

:lol:
 
Congratulations, you have just made the world's billionth phone call and have won a million dollars! To claim simply memorise this passnumbe... *beep*

Hi, I'm not in right now so please leave your message after the beep. *moo*
 
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