1000 things not to do on a date

[ybbor]

56. get up to go to bathroom while your date is proffesing her love for you.
57. while behind her (from going to the bathroom) surprise her by taking her food and shoving it in her face.
58. offer to get your date some punch, come back with an empty punch glass. when your date asks where her punch is, say 'right here' and punch her

 

[The Omega]

59. Bring your imaginary friend, George, to your date.
60. Talk about George the entire date.
61. Throw something at your date. When she complains, tell her it was George.
62. Eat all your date's food. After your done, act surprised, and yell at George.
63. Bring civ on your date. Explain to her how you love civ, spend all your time playing civ, and would much rahter be playing civ than talking to her.
(This is just because I need to put smilies in my post or I shall go mad.)

 

[kulade]

64. Bring your friend, George W. Bush
65. Talk about Bush the entire date.
66. Throw something at your date. When she complians, tell her it was Bush.
67. Eat all your dates food. After your done, act surprised, and yell at Bush.

(Sound an awful lot like our media )

 

[jguy100]

68. Tell her at the end of the date that her mom was better.
69. Or sister or best friend.

 

[The Omega]

70. Tell your date you post on a 1000 things not to do on a date forum.
71. Tell her that most of the posts are yours.
72. Tell her that if you don't put smilies on every unserieous thread, you will be driven mad.
Smilies! :devil2:

 

[The Omega]

73. Wonder how in the world you got a date, since you have absolutely no social life...

Smilies!

 

[Syterion]

74. Forget her name.
75. Say a different name instead, and hope it's right.
76. Explain that the reason you forgot her name was because the person you just had a date with before this date had the name you said.
77. Mess up the name a few more times, and explain this is because the previous date was more memorable(read:sexier) than her.
78. Act surprised when she's mad, then assume she is seeing more people that you are.

 

[BCLG100]

79. tell her you are a regular poster on this site
80. mid-way through the date, get up on the table and start screaming at the top of your lungs 'the babylonians are coming, there coming to get me'
81. while in a cinema, throw your popcorn at your date telling her that it is the kids behind you.
82. when being a teenager, bring 5 small children along and tell her that they are your illegitimate children.
83. bring perfection along on your date

 

[WillJ]

84. Try to impress her by juggling knives, but utterly fail and kill three innocents.

85. Talk about how you avidly support woman's rights. When she agrees, say, "Great, now pay for my meal."

86. When at a restaurant, blame everything that goes wrong on the ethnic group of the restaurant.

87. Bring a cat, and talk to your cat about your date in front of your date's face. "We think she's a control freak, don't we, schnookums? Yes, we do! Yes, we doooo!"

 

[The Omega]

88. Blame everything on your date. everything. Even if it has absoulutely nothing to do with the situation your in, blame it on him/her.
89. do this: constantly.
90. Talk the entire date about how you were able to crush the Russians on Civ.
91. Say to your date when it's not their birthday. When they tell you it's not their birthday, look confused fo a few seconds then say to the guy next to you. Repeat this until your thrown out of the resteraunt.

Smilies!

 

[ybbor]

what if you find someone is biorthday really is that day?

92. bring a squirt gun to your date. every time your date asks a question shoot her with the squirt gun (NOTE: "why are you shooting that thing at me?" is a question, and your date should be squirted for asking

93 insist on carrying out all conversation on your date via walkie talkie

94 go to the bathroom, turn on your walkie talkie and flush the toilet

95 when at the door kiss the walkie talkie goodnioght instead of your date

96 at the end of the date take the walkie talkie back exlpaining you need it for your next date in half an hour, and don't have time to buy a new one

 

[Mise]

93 insist on carrying out all conversation on your date via walkie talkie

97. Insist that your date ends every message on the walkie talkie with "over", or alternatively, "ten four".
98. Insist that your date says "roger that" instead of "yes", "negative" instead of "no" and "do you copy? I repeat, do you copy?" instead of "ok?" (followed by the manditory "over", of course).

 

[The Omega]

what if you find someone is biorthday really is that day?

99.Then you stare at them a few seconds, yell that their lieing, and then blame it on your date.

Smilies!

 

[LLXerxes]

100. Bring a computer and log onto CFC.

 

[The Omega]

101. Do like that Citi commercial: If your date asks if your ever going to get married, stutter for a few seconds, then say "ermmm.........Thank you!" and expect her to be overjoyed, like in the commercial.
Smilies! [dance] groucho

 

[WildWeazel]

102. recite from memory 1000 clues that you play civ 3 too much

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

103 Dress in German WWI uniform
104 Have a pizza delivered to the restaurant you are at while you eating dinner
105 Whenever she asks you a question, tell her "That information is classified" and act like a secret agent
106 Tell her about the time you defeated Shaka and Xerxes at the same time
107 Try to convert them to an imaginary religion

 

[The Omega]

108. Dress in a German WWII uniform.
Smilies!

 

[WildWeazel]

109 refer to yourself in the third person
110 refer to your date as precious
112 remove, study, or otherwise disturb any ring you may be wearing
112 sit perched on your chair like a frog, whispering to yourself
113 show up wearing a tattered loincloth
114 when your food is served, shriek "You ruins it!!! We wants it wriggling!!!"

EDIT: darn you, Omega!! numbers corrected

 

[amadeus]

115 - When she asks if you want to "park," don't say "no way! We're making excellent time!"