1000 things not to do on a date

[PlutonianEmpire]

116) Bring her home, play civ2 multiplayer, and then wipe out her civ with 330 nuclear attacks and a dozen civ-specific superunits (I've done it to my younger sister, drives her nuts everytime )

117) Have dinner in an active nuclear missile silo.

118) Brag about your favorite planet and how you turned it into a peaceful, but powerhogging, empire on civ2.

119) Tell her that you're a secret agent from [insert civ here] and that you are on a secret mission to sneak in a nuclear bomb into [insert city name here]. (Therefore leading to your immediate and subsequent execution by the federal government )

 

[Perfection]

120) Stab the Waiter with the salad fork
121) Rape Animals (or anything for that matter)
122) Insult Perfection
123) Offer your date a booger
124) Eat Rusty Nails

 

[bigmeat]

125) yell, labba labba labba at the top of your lungs until your date goes insane
126) say she like your mommas purse
127) bring banjo to dinner table
128) say to her you are napoleon boneaparte, or any other historical figure
129) confess to any crimes (especially if they involved rape or murder)
130) throw things
565) mess up the numbering order
132) ask if she would like to come down to your mom's basement to watch you play civ
133) pretend you are a pirate
134) pretend you are a viking and she is the wench
135) pretend you're a nazi storm trooper (especially if she's jewish)
136) insult her intelligence
137) ask anyone if they would like to "rent" her
138) get up and smell her hair for a long amount of time
139) eat her hair
140) attempt to eat any part of you
141) dress up in women's clothing
142) ask her to a sexy party
143) pretend you are multiple historical figures a once (ie i am napoleon, then say and i am shaka zulu and i shall defeat you with my ray beam
144) drown puppies in front of her
145) go on for 3 hours about the duality of oompa loompas
146) tell her you need to drain out the bad blood

 

[The Omega]

147. Do this: , then when she asks what yoru doing, do this: , then this: , then finally, stare at her for a few moments while doing this:
Smilies!

 

[bigmeat]

148) ? what are you talking about

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

149 Speak in Binary
150 Even if you don't know it
151 Don't walk, skip
152 Bring your own 6-pack to a fancy restaurant
153 Bring your own 6-pack to a movie theater
154 Crucify mice on your salad fork
155 Use your spoon as a catapult and shoot things at her

 

[ybbor]

156) ask your date to pick up the bill, and you'll leave the tip
157)leave no tip at the table
158)go off to the kitchen and throw pennies at your waiter saying "here's the tip"
159)stand in front of your date while the waiter is chasing you with a frying pan
160)duck

 

[The Omega]

161. Babble incoherently the entire date. Which actually shouldn't be too long...
162. Bring 2 or more friends who are the same gender as your date along.
163. Do this: At everything your date says.

Smilies!

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

164 Constantly belch
165 Talk on your cell phone the entire date
166 Show her your collection of dust bunnies
167 Bring your pet ferret
168 Go to the aquarium and try to throw your date into the sea lion exhibit
169 Show up for a blind date blindfolded
170 "Accidentally" step on your dates toes...even if your not dancing

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

171: cower in fear every time you look at your date.

172: bring your laptop so you can play civ2 during the date

173: brag about that broken thermometer collecting dust in the center of your room.

 

[The Omega]

174. Throw stuff at someone next to you, and when they complain, apologize and say that you were trying to hit your date with it.
175. Tell your date that you woke up at 2: oo A.M. to check this thread.
Smilies!

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

176 Repeat yourself constantly
177 Repeat yourself constantly
178 Repeat yourself constantly
179 Try to get your date to enlist in the U.S. Army
180 Try to get your date to enlist in the Canadian army
181 Sign them up for the Canadian army while they aren't looking
182 Act like Towelie
183 Repeat yourself constantly
184 Bring a MP3 Player/CD Player and listen to music the entire date
185 Play it really loud so your date can hear it clearly
186 Have the only song on the MP3/CD Player the Hampsterdance

 

[ybbor]

187)ask your date what her biggest turnoffs are, do them
188)after kissing her say she's the worst censored kisser you've ever known.
189)skap her
190)slap her harder
191)find a way to slap her over the walkie-talkie

 

[Perfection]

192) Take her anywhere near Perfection (she'll be gone faster than you can say gibblewockery)

 

[bigmeat]

193) ask her if she wants to see your nazi plates
194) ask her if she wants to play naked robber
195) pretend your a robot
196) hit on the person next to (especially if its a male)
197) talk about destroy her planet and her inferior race of earth monkeys
198) bring your rifle to the table (for duck huniting)
199) sing the dawson's creek theme song continuously

 

[Perfection]

200) Be boring

 

[bob rulz]

201-Bring your laptop to your date so you can play Civ 3
202-Mention past girlfriends, especially if its their sister/cousin/best friend/mom
203-Constantly talk about how amazing Civ 4's going to be
204-Give her a copy of Civ 3 for her birthday, and then PTW for Christmas, then Conquests for her birthday, then Civ 4 for Christmas
205-Say that you are trying to ressurect the lost Persian empire and that you are the great Xerxes
206-Try to conquer the world from the ashes of the great Ottoman Empire
207-Say that you are a communist

EDIT: Oops, okay, editing now

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

208 Impersonate Dr. Phil and try to give advice to random people

 

[The Omega]

Posted by Perfection on the 1000 ways to get a date on the forums:
"12. Be Perfection."

Number 209 of 1000 things not to do on a date: Be Perfection
Smilies!

 

[Perfection]

Omega, that's a damn lie and you know it!

209 (his was invalid as it is false) Be a damn liar like The Omega