500 ways you know your computer sucks

[Dionysius]

415:your computer comes with an airbag for banging your head against when it crashes.

416:the airbag pops.

 

[Hadrean]

417: the airbag contains a highly flammable gas.

 

[MooManof_]

418.

(Genuine error message - I have had this several times)

 

[MooManof_]

419. It gets so depressed it starts telling the truth:

 

[Vind2]

420: Your cellphone is faster.

421: You have a Mac

 

[Perfection]

422: To run the calculations you have to turn a crank

 

[salty mud]

423: An archeologist specializes in your computer parts.

 

[Truronian]

424. Your Recycle Bin seems to have become the home to family of wrens.

 

[MooManof_]

424. Your Recycle Bin seems to have become the home to family of wrens.

425. You delete random crap so often that your recycle bin has 'go-faster' stripes.

 

[Dionysius]

426: you move the mouse an inch, CPU usage goes to 100%

 

[Genocidicbunny]

426: you move the mouse an inch, CPU usage goes to 100%

that actuallyu happens to me sometimes, but only after prolonged periods of non-use
427. Pressing any key on the keyboard results in a BSOD and your computer literaly exploding in your face

 

[TheBladeRoden]

428. A turn in late-game Civ IV takes the equivalent amount of time in real life to complete.

429. A turn in late-game Civ I takes the equivalent amount of time in real life to complete.

430. The first turn in Civ I takes the equivalent amount of time in real life to complete.

 

[sepamu92]

430. The first turn in Civ I takes the equivalent amount of time in real life to complete.

431. The first turn in Civ I in fact takes longer than the equivalent amount of time in real life to complete.

 

[Hadrean]

432. Civ I does not even work

 

[Truronian]

433. Your eagerly awaiting Pong's expansion pack.

 

[puglover]

434. Every game you own has a victory screen that proudly declares You're Winner!

435. Clippy in Microsoft Word has a strangely evil grin before he sadisticly destroys your hard drive.

 

[MooManof_]

433. Your eagerly awaiting Pong's expansion pack.

436. You're eagerly awaiting Pong

 

[DvD-IT]

437. You're eagerly awaiting that your computer actually manages to load Pong without any problem.

 

[Dionysius]

438: even notepad causes crashes.

 

[ggganz]

439. Touching a key crashes it.
440. Touching any part of the computer crashes it.
441. Moving any part of your body crashes it.
442. Existing crashes it.
443. Any of the above reasons crashes it without it being on.
444. A nutrino passing thrrough it causes it to explode.