500 ways you know your computer sucks

[Cookie Crumbs]

445. Your computer doesn't need an excuse to crash. It just does.
446. You need two air conditioners in the room: one for the computer CPU and one for your dissipating the steam from your ears.
447. You have ghetto blasters for speakers.
448. Your disk drive is actually a toaster.

 

[Hadrean]

449. You don't have your computer anymore.

 

[salty mud]

450: It oly uses the 3 primary colours.

 

[Dionysius]

450: It oly uses the 3 primary colours.

451: it can actually only manage two.

 

[Perfection]

452: It's spring loaded!

 

[MooManof_]

453. The spring is bent.

 

[Genocidicbunny]

454.It requires 4 mules and a turning crank to power..

 

[Hadrean]

455. It requires it's own power plant.

 

[carmen510]

456. It requires all the power plants in the world, a few generators, and the energy in the core. In other words, it's unfunctionable. (And more power might mean better computers)

 

[parachute4u]

457. You can't turn it off

458. You can't turn it off, cause you are afraid it won't start-up again

 

[Hadrean]

459.You can't turn it on in the first place.

 

[plarq]

460: None of the computer conponents are fixed, in fact, the computer is built on several mouses, and the network is connected by mouse tails.

 

[Truronian]

461. Windows has to load from a CD.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

462. It's not even what most people would call a computer
463. The radiation is enough to render an entire city block uninhabitable for centuries
464. Your computer somehow converts crashes into computing power
465. Your software is actually upgraded when infected by a virus, adware, or spyware.
466. You wnoder why you even bothered to buy a computer.
467. You use your computer as a furnace.

 

[LLXerxes]

For a desktop computer-

468. Your keyboard keys have candy underneath them
469. The two speakers stick together... and aren't detachable
470. Your hard drive is half the size of the tower and still holds 3GB
471. It calls you 'Sonny'
472. WMP or iTunes will randomly delete your entire library (happened to me once!)

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

473: It didn't prevent you from posting the same joke, or a close variant thereof, on this list, simply because you didn't bother to read it all before posting.

(The irony being that Perf alrady sort of made this joke . . .)

 

[puglover]

474. Your ancient ancestors used to pray to it before everyone started calling it a "computer."

 

[Hadrean]

475. You can't view this web page.(so if you can, your computer is not all that bad)

 

[BirraImperial]

476. Your have installed This version of Windows.

 

[DvD-IT]

477: You learned by heart 1.000 different ways to make your computer crash, and you are going to start a "2.000 Ways How To Crash Your Computer" topic.

478. You cover 1.050 out of the 2.000 ways by yourself. The extra 50 being the times it crashed while creating the topic and posting.