A fundamental interpersonal error

[Narz]

..that exists more than ever nowadays with custom news feeds/virtual peer groups is the idea that those who don't think like you are at best odd/misinformed and at worst hopelessly stupid/deliberately malicious.

In short, "why can't everyone think like me?!?"

Mostly in 'real life' interactions I don't have this annoyance as much, I enjoy people's differences unless I strongly dislike the person. Online however you're not really seeing the whole person so it's much easier to characterize them with others of their group and continue a battle that that individual has nothing to do with (although they may jump in swinging, feeling the same way about you).

I find this issue (wondering why they cant see things like I do) IRL most often with women I'm dating. I kinda want the best of both worlds with women, a lover and a friend I can be totally honest with. However not everything in brain should be spoken ("she's hot", for instance) and it creates a bit of sadness that I have to compartimentalize, probably I just need more close friends.

For those older than me, who haven't spent half their lives online, I'm curious if you think people are more in their own self-built bubbles of belief/opinion more nowadays than in decades past.

 

[Commodore]

I think it is a little more prevalent now, but it might just seem that way because social media and the internet in general allows us to peer into random people's lives more than ever before.

I also think a big reason people react in such a negative way to those who disagree with them is the rise of identity politics. When you internalize your opinions to the point that they begin to define who you are as a person, it makes you less tolerant to those who disagree with you because at that point you no longer see the disagreement as merely a difference of ideas, but rather as an attack on you are as a person. So I'd say people in general just need to learn how to separate their ideas, beliefs, and opinions from their identity. Or at least realize that someone disagreeing with them does not mean they are attacking one's personal identity.

And before someone tries to accuse me of it, no I'm not calling out any one segment of the political spectrum on this. This whole identity politics crap is starting to run rampant through every demographic in society.

 

[Borachio]

Sure. I can understand it.

I don't think it's anything new, though.

People have naturally always tried to persuade others to their line of thinking, get others to indulge in the same hobbies, drink the same drinks, and take the same drugs.

It's how we validate our own opinions and what we do, I think. And the corollary of that is that those who disagree either are just different (and they really are) or are actually attacking what we are.

If you can just shrug and say "well that's just a difference of opinion", then I'd say you don't really have a firm grip on that opinion. Which may, of course, be a good thing.