Yes, kindness is very under rated. It is the best tool a person has to to reduce unhappiness.
Yup, if everyone got a hug or two a day (real ones from the heart) and had someone to listen to them in as unconditionally accepting a way as the listener could muster, it would certainly be a much less hostile world.
Mostly true, but there is a corollary: Not everyone is capable of such self reliance and strength.
How can you know for sure? I think everyone
could be but their conditioned to be emotionally dependent, which ironically is why the got themselves in the abusive relationship mess in the first place.
Note : I'm not trying to claim to be so amazingly strong myself (I've let others walk over me in many ways, especially as a kid, in ways I am highly embarrassed about) just saying that helping someone build themselves up is usually better for them than constantly rescuing them (though obviously if someone is getting severely beated or even just brow-beaten it is the right thing to do to step in.
Mostly wrong IMNSHO. We may think that we have thought things through, but mostly people do not. We are an impulsive lot and act or react without reflection. Some people are more thoughtful and reason is applied to more decisions. For others the reasonoing process is merely the tool used to confirm/support a previously made impulsive decision. If you are saying that choosing to have an affair (pleasure now over the pain of no pleasure) is somehow a rational decision, then I think we have major disagreements of what constitutes a "reasoned" decision.
My point is not that humans are perfectly rational just that they are as rational as they are capable of (which sometimes is objectively completely irrational). People are not necessarily objectively reasonable but they do the best they can based on their beliefs about reality (and unconscious, instincts, conditioning). Our instincts are ancient and often don't fit into this modern world (where you often cannot appropriately vent your anger physically, where gluttony during hard times is no longer a smart choice, etc.).
Ah the "we are a product of our upbring and environment" explanation for human behavior. I would have to disagree that this is true. I would put genetics as the driving force behind 60-85% of who we are and what we do.
I agree that nature is the more important factor. I never stated otherwise.
For example: in women their genetic coding tells them to seek out "alpha males" for mating/pair bonding; their particular culture or society tells them what an alpha male is. But the underlying force is beyond our control.
I disgree that our instinctual forces are beyond conscious control. A woman may be attracted to alpha males but consciously choose to marry and sire (right word?) children with a wimpy beta male out of convenience or for money or she may (like countless millions of people) choose not to reproduce at all. One may not be able to choose one's sexual orientation or even, to a large degree, one's internal personality but one can certainly alter one's behavior (which is the most important thing from other people's perspectives, especially when it comes to violence and abuse obviously).
You have expanded on your previous assertion of the triumph of reason and how it is the ultimate tool of understanding:through it we can control not only ourselves, but all things.
How else can we control anything but by understanding it and harnessing our understanding to best direct it?
I just disagree with such a position.
Ok. I'm sure you have your perceived
reasons.
Can you explain why you love your girl friend?
She's sexy (cute face, nice figure, good hip to waist ration) she's intelligent, loyal, low-maintainence (not as much as I'd like but that's females for you), affectionate, sharing similar interests and very importantly she loves me too (physically, emotionally, sexually)
Why does your favorite music move you to an emotional response?
I don't know. It's beautiful. It's creative. It spurns the desire to be equally creative/passionate within me, which is an important part of human survival (uncreative types die out quicker during hard times). Also, it probably triggers my brain into thinking I'm around friends and loved ones (think about it, in ancient times the only time you'd hear music is if your friends were playing it for you). Many other reasons I'm sure. Even if my reasons don't tell the whole story there is a whole story. My inability to tell it all doesn't prove that my response to music is arbitrary or irrational.
Why is holding your cat on your lap pleasureable?
Because it makes me feel valued, love, chosen. It is good for my health and the cats' as well. Cats & man have had symbiotic relationships since "civilized" man started building granaries, perhaps before.
Why should it cause your brain to release endorphines and other chemicals?
Nurturing relationships (including with domestic animals who's loyalty is important) is evolutionarily important.
Our ability to reason simply creates the illusion of being able to explain everything.
Our ability to create myths as a substitute for understanding (not dissing myths necessarily, some are very beautiful) creates the illusion of control.
It creates a false sense of control that some people cling to. It is an organizing force for world views much like god and religion organize the world for religious people. It is one way to make sense of things for which there is no obvious purpose.
It's not a false sense of control. If you understand how something works fully & completely, by definition you can control it (control is not necessarily good or bad, it just is). Of course, nature as a whole as well as other humans are far too complicated to be fully understood or controlled and this is good and how it should be. If we could control it all, if there was no mystery life would quick become dull. It is comforting to know that the universe does operate according to laws though, even if we cannot understand them all.
Clearly Narz, we are not so far apart at all. 
