ASNES- My Return to Our Roots

As the Great and powerful Minnestronian army assembled on the field of battle, preparing to march on the Great Lakes Barbarians, Chief Camp'ell delivered a rousing speech.

"My people! We are the great Minnestron! We shall not be defeated by these barbarians! We are strong! We will fight to the last if necessary, but I tell you it will not be necessary!! We are superior to these barbarians! We have the Great Soup god on or side! Now, CHARGE!!!!!! For council! For country! For delicious Minnestrone Soup!!!!"

With these words, the Minnestronians charged across the land and slaughtered many of the Great Lakes Barbarians. Those left alive were taken as slaves to toil away at great stone monuments to soup, and to farm for the Minnestronians.
 
Are the sacrifices prepared?

Yes milord, they are ready.

Good, bring them in.

Several young maidens were brought in. The Guardian smiled. Yes, these foreign beatuies would appease Amon.

"Oh Great Amon" said the Guardian, "We wish for your favor. In an effort to please you and your magical dice, we sacrifice these 21 virgins to you. We hope that they are to your liking."

And with that, the beatufil heathen bodies fell, one by one, their blood flowing to please his mind, their bodies to serve him in a way he so chooses
 
To:Capi'Latsu
From:Siam

We have yet to recieve your tribute to our emperor. You have 1 turn to deliver 1 jack to the capitol of Siam, Balls. Think of how much more money you will have to spend, if you insult the Emperor by not sending a token of our friendship.

To: Siam
From: Capi'latsu


You are wealthy, and your harvests plentiful. You need not this tribute, yet we can understand that a man's heart is always full of greed. But let us have you rid this in you, and for this 1 jack offer let us offer each other a mutual protection in an alliance, to strengthen neighborly bonds, so that no troubles may befall upon us, in present or the future from any unseen foe.
 
To:Capi'Latsu
From:Siam

It is the duty of a master to protect his servants. Of course I will enter a protection pact with you.
 
To: Sumer
From: Russia


Very well. War will continue.

Spoiler :
Russia/Crezth
Despotism
Age:Stone
Color: Maroon
Economy:Stable 2/0(-1 upkeep)
Army:5(Stone age)1(Bear Cavalry)
Navy:1(Stone age)
Sciences:0
Culture:2


ORDERS-

Spend 1 Jack on 1 Science (see story below).

Continue to press the assault on Sumer in the Caucasus region. Use 4 standard armies to do this (it's getting too warm for the bears) and try to seize all of the Caucasus. Then, push as far south as possible at this juncture.

Meanwhile, have 1 standard army and 1 bear cavalry push in the north against the Finnish barbarians.

------------------------------

General Grigori stood at the forefront of his mighty army. The Russians had broken into the Caucasus and now stood poised to drive the Sumerians south into their heartland. The Russian armies, though technologically inferior, were strong of spirit. In this initial push the Russians fought alongside the bears but the thick fur coat did not predispose them to continue fighting in the warmer climates. The Russians found that, as they pushed south, they had to dress lighter. A casualty of this was the lesser armor they wore, but at the same time they were enabled a greater freedom of movement and comfort level.

Now, Grigori looked on and saw the Sumerian lands ahead. He would conquer this part of Sumer for the glory of Russia and the great ruler Petrov III, and Russia would stand tall and proud in its far-reaching domain.

Suddenly a Commissar approached him, holding a strange-looking tool. "General Grigori, the men have found this amidst the ruins of a Sumerian barracks we sacked..." he said, "They appear to be weapons of some sort."

Grigori examined the object brought before him - it looked like an axe-handle, but unlike any axe-handle the Russians had made. The niches were not designed for weapons of stone, but for weapons of some other material.

"Ve vill need to study zis," said Grigori, "Zend it back to Moskow, zey vill know vat to do."
 
Sultan Osman IV looked over conquered Ur, former capital of the diminishing Sumerian Empire and smiled. The city was still smoldering, the population of the city had been sold into slavery... He himself had picked up a very cute 15 year old virgin who he intended to have as a victory prize once the Sumerian King's head lay between his feet. Her fate however was not something of which to be despised for she would return to Mecca with him, and the Sultan's harem.

The city defenders were being sacraficed ritually... The hearts would be eaten by Arabian leaders, the eyes by the missile troops and their livers would be delivered ritually to the friends in Egypt, as a token of our friendship and bond with them.

Indeed the people of the Confederacy would be heartened by the very fact that Arabia had conquered a new province - Ku'wait.

Spoiler Arabian Orders Super Secret, Do not open unless Amon! :
Arabian Orders

Purchases

Spend one jack on building a road to newly conquered Ur, which we will rename Ku'wait. Ku'wait it to, at the head of the mouth of the Tigris-Euphetes system is to be a trade centre to the east.

Spend one jack on another army.

The one army in Africa along with colonisits is to continue expanding into Africa with a particular attention of capturing the headlands of the Nile River.

One more army is from Arabia proper being conquering land on our northern border with Sumeria where there is no land being captured so far....... Defend if necessary.

The other two armies are to continue to advance into Sumeria... With particular attention to grab the Persian Gulf coastline.

OH AND IF YOU READ THIS DARTANGUAN, YOU ARE A DOUCHE!
 
lets see

continue wonder

invest 2 jack in economy by building up my infrastructure

Contiue expanding towards California
 
Sumeria/D'artagnan
Federal Tribal Absolute Monarchy
Age:Bronze
Color: Light Blue
Economy:Growing 3/0 (1 of 3 invested)(-1 upkeep)(-1 from losses)
Army:2(Bronze age)3(Vulture)
Navy:2(Bronze age)
Science:3
Culture:3
Wonders:Sumerian Irigation system(+Economy)[COMPLETE!]Ziggurat(+Culture)[Completed]

1 Jack on 1 Vulture.

secret
Spoiler :
2 Armies sweep the Anatolian coast. The Navy follows, supplying them.

1 Vulture defends against the Arab armies. If the Vultures win, then take back Ur and rename it Ur.

3 Vultures defend the Levant and destroy all Egyptian armies.

/secret

New Project:

Coinage: +Economy.
 
Harappan Orders​

Stats
Spoiler :
Harrapa/Ninja Dude
Oligarchy
Age:Bronze
Color: Violet
Economy:Grown 3/1(-1 upkeep)
Army:3(Bronze age)/1(War Elephant)
Navy:1(Bronze Age)
Sciences:2
Culture:2
UU:War Elephants: The great beasts are able to carry many supplies and men to their destination. However, their true usefulness is on the battle field, where their size and power strikes fear into the enemy.(2 jack per division)
Wonders:Throne of Ivory(+2 economy)[4/6]


Spending:
-2 jack invested in science.
-1 jack spent to make another fleet.
The banked point will pay upkeep.

Military:
-The two armies and the elephant division will continue to sweep through India. Being much better equipped and powerful, these armies should be able to crush any significant opposition they meet.
-Cities and villages will be offered the chance to surrender before being attacked. While this eliminates the chance of a suprise attacked, those that surrender peacefully will end up discouraging others from fighting Harappa.
 
Spoiler stats :
Germanica/conehead234
Absolute Monarchy
Age:Bronze
Color: Green
Economy:Stable 3/0 (-1 upkeep)
Army:4(Bronze age)
Navy:1(Stone age)/1(Bronze age)
Sciences:0
Culture:6
Wonder:German beer(+Culture)[COMPLETED!]German Eco powerangers (+1 economy)[2/3]

Spoiler orders :

Spoiler orders, super dupper secret, only for Amon :

If you read this Crezth, you suck
Finish Wonder

1 jack to pay upkeep

2 jack into building 2 armies

2 armies and 2 navies are to invade Russia along the Baltic coast

2 armies are to invade Russia into poland

Use my superior technology to push the Russians back, poison food and leave it for the bear cavalry if needed.

Recruit the barbarians SE of me to invade Russia, offer them Ukraine.

2 armies are to be on Roman Border Patrol

 
Kingdom of Egypt / Shadowbound
Theocratic Monarchy
Age:Bronze
Color: Pink
Economy:Growing 4/0(-1 upkeep)
Army:8(Bronze age)
Navy:2(Bronze age)
Sciences:0
Culture:2
Wonders:Pyramids(+culture)[Completed]Great Library of Alexandria(2 sciences per jack)[1/14]

[secret]

Spoiler :
Spending Orders

2 jack on 2 armies

1 jack on economy

Military Orders

The army advancing into the Caucausus will temporarily redeploy to defend Anatolia. It will be joined by one of the newly recruited armies, and they will repel the Sumerians from Trebizond before driving back into the Caucausus.

3 armies will continue down the Tigris and Euphrates. Focus is to destroy the Sumerians between us and the Towel-heads.

The 4 armies marching from the Levant will continue to push eastwards into Sumer. The territory captured will be a useful buffer zone for the protection of Egypt and the Levant, both during the war and after.

The last army will continue to expand down the Nile, into Nubia.

Domestic Orders

Economic integration of the Levantine Coast will begin.


[/secret]
 
Guys... You aren't supposed to use orders that you aren't "supposed" to see against a player. Let's be good observers of the "Honor system", please.
 
Guys... You aren't supposed to use orders that you aren't "supposed" to see against a player. Let's be good observers of the "Honor system", please.

I can read most of them, can't I? Unless, they're near me, like Alderia, Carthage, and Germanica, I can't make much of a impact, so why not. Funny to see the very conflicting orders. Will edit in orders later.

Spoiler ROMAN STATS :

Rome/Matt0088
Federal Tribal Absolute Monarchy
Age:Stone
Color: Gold
Economy:Growing 3(Should be 4)/0
Army:3(Stone age)/1(or 2, depending on # of jack neeeded for bronze age upgrade)(Bronze age)
Navy:1(Stone age)
Sciences:3(This didn't change even though I invested in it, no clue what it should be though)
Culture:0
Wonders:Forges of Rome(+Economy+Army+Navy)[2(Should be 4)/6]

[SUPER DUPER SECRET]
Spoiler ROMAN ORDERS :
This is assuming that all bolded corrections in the above stats are, well, correct.

Domestic Orders:
1. Spend as much as needed to upgrade all stone age armies into bronze age armies, use whatever jack is left to create more armies. This includes using the jack Carthage is sending us.
2. Give the southern half of Sardinia and the western half Sicily to Carthage.
3. Create a MPP with Carthage and a NAP with Egypt.
4. Start trade with Carthage.

Military Orders: This is assuming that I'll end up with 7 armies.
1. Have all but one army attack Germanica.
2. Have four armies attack from France and push back all german forces to the Rhine using overwhelming numbers. Then have them fortify the Rhine river as much as possible.
3. Have two armies attack from northeastern Italy and drive any german forces to the Danube using overwhelming numbers. Then have them fortify the Danube river as much as possible.
4. Have the other army protect Rome from unforeseen threats, if there are any.

[SUPER DUPER SECRET]
 
From the Kingdom of Egypt
To Rome

We wish for a pact of non-aggression.
 
You can read orders, but you're not to use them against one another. Like orders in spoilers or that have around them. We can all act IC, I would hope.
 
You can't seriously tell me you would have attacked Germanica if you didn't read their orders, Matt.

I'm authorizing Conehead to change his orders, if he wants.
 
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