Best... Event ... Ever....

[Gyromancer]

About fell out of my chair last Saturday. I'm playing a game where virtually everyone adopted the order and became good. Malakim were actually the evil guys - they summoned Hyborem and then later converted to the leaves. Hyborem is somewhere out in the periphery being his usual ineffective self. I'm humming along happily, and even forgot about him for a while. The Olympics event triggers. How nice I think. Then I notice that the games were held in



Dis

So many jokes come to mind. Olympics in Hell? Just imagine the track and field events. --Shot put (with severed heads), Javelin throw (at moving targets), triple jump (across a lake of fire....)

Imagine the Germany-1936 imagery as Hyborem sits in the stands watching as the Infernal propaganda machine jabbers on about the Infernal "superman"

Just imagine how much they had to bribe/threaten the IOC to get Dis the bid...

Not sure I'm going to be able to think about Dis quite the same way again...

 

[Tyrs]

Ironic given some people's feelings towards the Olympics in China... Well, anything is possible is Erebus, but that is pretty funny

 

[westamastaflash]

I'm a big fan of the killer rabbit Event :-D

 

[Arcite36575]

Sure, if facist and communist countries can sponsor the olympics, why not demonic countries?

 

[Kael]

To their credit the 500 meter zombie hurdles event is hilarious to watch.

 

[Nikis-Knight]

Yeah, well, you try jumping over 500 tall high zombies!

 

[xienwolf]

The best part is watching the judges try to decide precisely which portions of the contestants must cross the finish line to be considered a completion of the track.

 

[Darksaber1]

They also have trouble deciding how to penalize demonic atheltes that eat the mortal contestants.

 

[CypherKnight]

The problem is that when you eat the other contestant technically you do carry him over the finish line as well. Having to share your medal with your dinner is not cool man, not cool at all.

 

[Skitters]

There are reports of scalding in the Olympic Pool

 

[frenzyslave]

electric shocks administered in the shockput event...

 

[felix86]

Eurabatres and Abashi wrestling is the best thing ever.

 

[Demus]

orcs vs demons: who's the better candidate for this year's main event: dwarf hurling?

 

[Chip56]

And this years winner in 100m lava swimming:
The one and only survivor: the amurite!
oh wait a minute... it seems somebody used magic doping in the last event.
Sorry to prove your innocent you have to jump into the lava again.

 

[thewyrm]

Certain events would be sooooo dominated by certain civs. The Hippus must OWN the equestrian events, and who the hell is going to field a gymnastics team that could even compete with the Balseraph?

In the scenario set out by the OP, if we take the humor out it actually makes a lot of sense. The parallel to the '36 games is apt. Hyborem would use the opportunity to be sure it goes off without a hitch to lull the leaders into backing off from his his other nefarious activities.

Imagine running a marathon through hell terrain.

 

[Skitters]

conversation 8 years ago

Hyborem "Mr Jacques Rogge, I would be interested in nominating Dis to hold this global festival. We agree in principal that we will allow foreign nationals unlimited access to the ether..."

JR "Hmmm....and your record on human rights?"

H "We are all embracing..."

JR "There is a pretty strong bid by the Elohim, could we interest you in the Winter Games?"

H "There may be inherent difficulties with a lack of snow here"

JR "ah yes...hmmmm well could you elaborate on the subtle differences to events you plan?"

H "Well consider. Poncing around on a horse, making it stand still, jumping over a few fences. We think it'd be much better to change those fences to burning rings of fire. And then judo and wrestling - we'd like to add spikey bits...it should make these events a little more...competitive"

JR "Hmmm....and these contracts competitors need to sign?"

H "oh that is just to merely look after them should there be any...ahem....unfortunate accidents"

JR "Okay...well it seems everything is in order....now lets see this Balseraph Lap Dancing Troupe you promised..."

 

[mahazel]

Imagine running a marathon through hell terrain.

demons have +10% bonus from hell terain... so I think I stake on one with goat head.

 

[Darksaber1]

Certain events would be sooooo dominated by certain civs. The Hippus must OWN the equestrian events, and who the hell is going to field a gymnastics team that could even compete with the Balseraph?

From the Olympic Magic Broadcasting Corporation:
Today was a great upset in the Equstrien Events, when the Sheim contestent came in first, beating out the favored winner, Tasant Tolant, the Hippus contestent, who did not finish, on acount that his Nighmare through and ate him.
Also, the Svartalfar Gymnatics team beat out the much favored Balseraph team by 3 points, as the Svartalfar were less effected by the vemon of the parellel snakes then the Balseraph Cotestent.

 

[cyther]

What sort of metals would one win at these games?

 

[thewyrm]

What sort of metals would one win at these games?

Bronze, Iron, and Mithril naturally.