Could anyone here give me some advice on how to conquer the world?

I MUST STOP THE CANADIANS FROM TAKING OVER THE WORLD!

Missiles Locked!
10 SECONDS TILL FIRING
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1
FIRE!

KAAAAAAABBBBBOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!

Canada has been destroyed!

(btw If the U.S was losing too the Canadians we would fire nukes anyways)

Darkshade want a alliance as the Canadians are no threat too us now ;)
 
ON, despite political differences, the US and Canada are allies.

BTW people, why would anyone want to hurt Darkshade?
 
Build a supercollider to create massive amounts of antimatter, Go to mars with an escape pod filled with people you like and anything you want. Release the antimatter so the earth explodes. Go into suspended animation for a few million years, By then earth will have coalesed back together and cooled you can land their and claim it for yourself
 
BTW people, why would anyone want to hurt Darkshade?

1) He wants to hurt us. (That alone is incentive enough, but I shall continue.)
2) It would be a horrific challange.
3) It would be horrific fun. (But, then again, I know the risks and am to stupid to be afraid.)
4) Those us who survive will be hailed as heroes the world over.
5) The vast majority that do not will be countered as martyrs of the greatest holy war of all time.

A quick physics lesson for not-so-Perfection:
Antimatter annihilates matter, it doesn't just blow it up. There won't be anything of Earth left to coelesce, not even space dust.
 
You have it all wrong. Darkshade is already in check by me and several others. There is already balance between the two sides.
 
Step 1. Rig the lottery so you win millions
Step 2. Let it accrue for 10-20 years.
Step 3. Purchase a bottled water company
Step 4. Secretly put a small amount of narcotics in the water, just enough to give everyone a little high making your company #1.
Step 5. Phase out the drugs and purchase all competing brands forming a monopoly
Step 6. Poison the water supplies of all cities.
Step 7. Force everyone into servitude in exchange for clean water
Step 8. Kill resisters
Step 9. PARTY [party]
 
Tsk. More little children thinking they can contend with the Prince of fricken' Darkness and Shadow. :lol:
Before ye can even try to embark on your hopeless quest, you will be confined to St. Eucalinth of Spong's Hospital for the Incurably Deranged.:cool:

Zarn, you do not hold me in check; we work for the same boss, despite the different stationary. I don't need to tempt you to come over to the Dark side because you are already there. And don't know it. :mwaha:

"1) He wants to hurt us. (That alone is incentive enough, but I shall continue.)
2) It would be a horrific challange.
3) It would be horrific fun. (But, then again, I know the risks and am to stupid to be afraid.)
4) Those us who survive will be hailed as heroes the world over.
5) The vast majority that do not will be countered as martyrs of the greatest holy war of all time"

1.) No, not particularly. A shopowner does not go around destroying his own stock. Unless you are on The List for reasons of politics, religion, fashion, whim, or saying nasty stuff about EJW.
2.) That isn't even the beginning of it.
3.) No, it would not. Do you really want to be strapped to a chair with your eyelids removed, and be forced to watch North for 60 straight years? :evil:
4.) No, those of you who survive will be hailed as a taxi. And then you'll get a little tap on your shoulder from possibly the real me, rather vexed at your senseless destruction of one of my clones, and will hear from my lawyers - Cooper, Elsworthy, Balrog and Spong.
5.) No, I don't think that anyone would notice or care. :p

"Darkshade want a alliance as the Canadians are no threat too us now "

I told you boy, I cannot "ally" with you; the court order forbids it. And Mrs. Darkshade would not approve. :evil: :p :lol:
 
Originally posted by Obssesed Nuker
Okay how bout a NAP?

No, I cannot nap with you, snooze with you, or sleep with you whatsoever! Not even a little - I want to keep my head a frying pan free zone for at least a few days. :ack:
 
:hmm: This mere peasant's call to arms has actually gotten the Beast's attention. Perhaps I should be grateful for so much.

Nevertheless the Creature doth have one fear. The frying pan! He that is Fear has an odd phobia.

But I too live in the Great Backwater, and I know that there are not as many homicidal, frying pan wielding femme fetales as one would think. I would cruise the state, yelling out "Hey! Who wants some Darkshade?" whenever I see a woman with a frying pan.

Once I got a bite, I whould disable her with a tranq dart. A lesser man might use live ammo because I only need her DNA (see where I'm gong with this :D ), but I won't kill her even though she has incredibly bad taste in halflings.

With my recently finishing cloning bays, I shall make Darkshade's Mrs. legion. (Any man's nightmare, I assure you.) I shall send these, my "Becka Troopers", to South Australia (A buddy scouted Evil Headquarters. How he got out alive is beyond me.) where they shall assault his citidel.

Hopefully, the sight of thousands of love struck, pan heaving Texans will so disturb his evilness so much that Comrade Davo's elite Red Force commandos and my gen' eng'ed teratoids can slay the source of all evil and suffering in the world, and a golden age shall occure.

'Tis folly, as he may soon gloat, but a mad peasant-scientist can dream. :(
 
Originally posted by Simon Darkshade

Zarn, you do not hold me in check; we work for the same boss, despite the different stationary. I don't need to tempt you to come over to the Dark side because you are already there. And don't know it. :mwaha:

I don't think you were suppose to tell me that.
 
Originally posted by Cloudyvortex
:hmm: This mere peasant's call to arms has actually gotten the Beast's attention. Perhaps I should be grateful for so much.

Nevertheless the Creature doth have one fear. The frying pan! He that is Fear has an odd phobia.

But I too live in the Great Backwater, and I know that there are not as many homicidal, frying pan wielding femme fetales as one would think. I would cruise the state, yelling out "Hey! Who wants some Darkshade?" whenever I see a woman with a frying pan.

Once I got a bite, I whould disable her with a tranq dart. A lesser man might use live ammo because I only need her DNA (see where I'm gong with this :D ), but I won't kill her even though she has incredibly bad taste in halflings.

With my recently finishing cloning bays, I shall make Darkshade's Mrs. legion. (Any man's nightmare, I assure you.) I shall send these, my "Becka Troopers", to South Australia (A buddy scouted Evil Headquarters. How he got out alive is beyond me.) where they shall assault his citidel.

Hopefully, the sight of thousands of love struck, pan heaving Texans will so disturb his evilness so much that Comrade Davo's elite Red Force commandos and my gen' eng'ed teratoids can slay the source of all evil and suffering in the world, and a golden age shall occure.

'Tis folly, as he may soon gloat, but a mad peasant-scientist can dream. :(

Thank you for calling. Do come again. The frying pan does not frighten one, nor vex one. It is a minor inconvenience, to say the most. I actually quite like many types of fried goods and kitchen appliances. Your jabberwocky hath no strength, calloo, callay. :p

Bad taste in halflings? Tranq dart? Love struck?!? (It is after all, nothing but a marriage of convenience in exchange for financial payment. I am a trophy husband ;))
You better go into hiding now before Becka sees that! :lol:
'Tis more than folly - 'tis reminiscent of several threads that got jacked onto that topic a while back, despite one's requests that they do not.
So enough with the "I'm the deadly challenge to Darkshade" thing - it never leads to anything good.
 
Originally posted by Simon Darkshade
So enough with the "I'm the deadly challenge to Darkshade" thing - it never leads to anything good.
Yeah we all get our but kicked by AoA :lol:
 
Originally posted by Perfection
Yeah we all get our but kicked by AoA :lol:

No, you do. One does not engage in this member comparing... :rolleyes:
 
'So enough with the "I'm the deadly challenge to Darkshade" thing - it never leads to anything good.'

we'll shut up with that when you end this 'I am the prince off darkness' thing.
 
Okay back on topic lets see how to take over the world.

Lets see,

(Note: This on only works for non-foriegn born American Citizens)

Step 1. Climb up political ladder
Step 2. Run for president
Step 3. Bribe the members of the electoral college
Step 4. Gear up military spending
Step 5. Use all super secret spy programs to incite a nuke war between all other major powers.
Step 6. Wait out the carnage
Step 7. Nuke cleveland and blame it on another country.
Step 8. Declare marshall law and use your military to take over the world
Step 9. Relax knowing that you are in total control of the bombed out shell that used to be known as earth
 
'So enough with the "I'm the deadly challenge to Darkshade" thing - it never leads to anything good.

I never said I or anyone else was a deadly challenge, Mr. Darkshade. On the contrary, you have the advantage.

Nor do I fear Mrs. Darkshade. Getting hit on the head by a frying pan merely stuns and irritates me. Besides, I have my teratoids.

Speaking of my pretties, the whole issue of attacking Evil Headquarters has been made a moot point thanks to them and Homeland Security. Apparently, the FBI is watching our every post and is threatening to tell the whole world about my creations unless I work for the military. Working at Area 51 intrigues me, but I doubt they will let me continue posting here at CFC. Those of you cheering can stop, for I have found a new hiding spot where my teratoids can be safe and I can continue my work.

And I wouldn't hold Mod in any but the highest reverence. I am but a neusance, but He can smite you with lighting and blast you with fire. No one messes with the AoA our Mod blasphemer. :p

Meanwhile back at the ranch, Perfection, your's is the best idea I've seen yet. :goodjob:
 
Originally posted by Cloudyvortex
Meanwhile back at the ranch, Perfection, your's is the best idea I've seen yet. :goodjob:
Which one?
 
1-I have to affiliate myself to one of the new center-left political parties from Argentina, and I have to become an active member.
2-The next 7 years I have to finish the university, I have to become a lawyer and start studying economy, hopefully in 7 years I will be better at german and english too.
3-All those qualifications will give me high credibility in front of the people, they will see me as someone very well educated and prepared + my humble origins, I have to be charismatic.
4-The next 10 years I will have to develop my position in the political world starting from the bottom.
5-I am elected as the mayor of the city of Buenos Aires, the next 4 years I administrate the city very well, the high superavit in the city allows me to give credits to the technological companies, the people agrees and sees me as someone honest who wants to develop the city of Buenos Aires.
5-I am reelected, I continue with my great administration and high aproval ratings, the Olimpic games are celebrated in Buenos Aires, that gives me quite a lot of promotion and I become a minor international celebrity.
6-I am chosen as the new president of Argentina, In the provinces of the country I claim that I have always been a peronist deep down, people love me, I talk crap about yanqui imperialism.
7-I am President of Argentina, great administration ,government plans to help developing software and hardware industries.
I start what I call "japanization of Argentina", improve ties with -Brazil, our principal partner.
8-I am reelected, I modify the constitution to allow new reelections.Everything fine! Argentinas gnp per capita reaches a first world category, I start what I call (the second wave of immigration, because Argentina is a country made of immigrants) millions of eastern europeans, many ex-soviet scientists come to Argentina.
9-Reelected agains, Argentina, Brazil, Paraguay, and Uruguay, the "Mercosur countries" choose creating a mercosur parlament like the eu.Everything great in Argentina, I am a damn good ruler!
10-I start writing books about the Hilgemberg (my surname
:p )doctrine, I propose a new deal between the government and the people, it somehow resembles fascism but dont tell anyone:p .
I am known as a great intelectual in the world, the situation in Europe has worsened this decades, and the working classes agree with my ideas, new political parties are created in the world
with my ideas and in some countries they are quite successfull.
11-I am chosen as president of the Mercosur parlament, Everything fine, I am regarded as the person who took Argentina out of the third world and took it to the first world.Brazil-Argentina integration continues.
12-The same, but it has been decided to create a super mercosur army that will include the army of the 4 countries.
13-A friend of mine through my influence is chosen as the president of the army.
14-I control the media in the mercosur, I manipulate the people and I make them choose bad politicians, and I move influences to ruin the economy secretly.
15-People get angry with the politicians, everybody wants me, they say that I am the only one who can solve their problems, all the people in Brazil, Argentina, Uruguay, Paraguay wants me to solve their problems.
16-With my friend, leader of the mercosur army I organize a military coup. I derrocate the governments of Brazil, Argentina, Uruguay and Paraguay.People love me.
And I become the only ruler of the mercosur!!
17-Prosperity returns and Peru, Bolivia, Venezuela and Colombia join mercosur.
18-I incitate war with England for the Falkland/Malvinas islands.
I kick their ass, now we are all overdeveloped countries and you are against a whole continent.
I take the islands.
We invade Chile because of their colaboration with the evil Britons.
19-We have a major naval war with Britain in the pacific, we are victorious.And we accuse the Oceanic League of colaboration with the Britons, we invade New Zealand,Australia and the pacific Islands, we destroy the oceanic league and throw its evil Leader Dark Shade to the dogs, he deserves a bad way of dying.:mad: ;)
20-Aussies and Kiwis hated Dark Shade because he was very evil, they see me as a liberator, and, the Hilgembergian party with my doctrine was very strong there, so, I had a very big popularity there in wide sectors of the population.Peace is settled
with england.All the antartica is mercosur and southern states property.
21-I control most of the southern hemisphere!!!
I use my influence,:scan: governments fall to the hilgembergian movement in Africa and Central America (excpet Mexico because it is in the nafta treaty), my social model is considered as fair and good, communist countries like Cuba, China and North Korea perform changes in their governments inspires in my doctrine.
The american wont do anything because I have my missils prepared, they also have their nukes directed towards me.
22-Hilgembergian partie continue to grow in impoverished europe, they win in Germnay and I give a very emotive speech in german, My popularity in europe is going through the roofs!
23-Germany is attacked because it fell to the hilgembergian movement, and it was a big loss.The UN declared the war.
We give military assitence.The "MASC", Mercosur and southern countries, retire from the ONU because our positions is not being considered.A lot of countries do the same.
24-The other governments in europe fell to the movement, people simply love me:goodjob: , war is unsustainable, a feeling of happyness invades people, they see the triumph of the movement in the world as inevitable!
All western europe but switzerland and england fall to the movement.The MASC countries gave assistance to europe to help them recovering.
25-Mexico retreats from Nafta and joins us, now we have a cold war against the americans and sharing the same continent and even a common frontier.:eek:
26-America gets isolated, its economy crumbles, the working masses adopt my ideology! and my revolution triumphs.! without a single nuke being used!
27-We invade switzerland.England surrenders.
28-the movement wins the elections in Russia and China, (Now, we have the MASC,super power, that includes Latin America and Oceanic continent, and independent countries ruled by the movement, USA, Germany, Russia, etc , etc, but I am considered as the great father of the movement).
29-Once the movement becomes so powerful in so many different countries we dont have a big problem conquering the rest of the (non-movement) world.
30-I am chosen as the president of the international hilgembergian party, I am not the direct ruler of the world, but
lets say that I am very powerful!!!!!

Thw whole world is in control of the movement!!

:goodjob:
 
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