Could anyone here give me some advice on how to conquer the world?

[Kublai-Khan]

Originally posted by Perfection
NAW thats to hard, just build a mind controller and there you are

You dont want any glory, Dont you?

 

[Perfection]

Originally posted by Kublai-Khan


You dont want any glory, Dont you?

I think there is glory with marches of millions of people chanting your name who worship you as their god, don't you?

 

[Zarn]

hmmmm... maybe the world needs a dictator to prevent these people from spamming. No, but that's not right. Hey, one of my lightsabers turned red. What's the deal with that?

 

[Perfection]

Originally posted by Zarn
hmmmm... maybe the world needs a dictator to prevent these people from spamming. No, but that's not right. Hey, one of my lightsabers turned red. What's the deal with that?

Well Its a good thing I don't spam.

 

[Wild Weasel]

I would have thought you would have all realised by now it hinges on the rather simple matter of building your own temporal displacement vortex - in simple terms a time machine.

In fact, to prove my point, I'm going back now to 2485 BC to make that one subtle change that will ensure my perpetual domination of the world. Toodle-pip.

 

[Cloudyvortex]

NAW thats to hard, just build a mind controller and there you are

You want to borrow mine? I need to hide and can't take it with me. It's here in Midland, TX. You'll know it when you see it. Just get it before the U.S. government does. It only works on the feeble minded beings that are 90% of the population. But the 10% that aren't effected could be a major headache.

It not good enough to really conquer the world, but, if you're sick and evil enough, it can do wonders for your love, er, lust life.

 

[ComradeDavo]

Originally posted by Kublai-Khan
1-I have to affiliate myself to one of the new center-left political parties from Argentina, and I have to become an active member.
2-The next 7 years I have to finish the university, I have to become a lawyer and start studying economy, hopefully in 7 years I will be better at german and english too.
3-All those qualifications will give me high credibility in front of the people, they will see me as someone very well educated and prepared + my humble origins, I have to be charismatic.
4-The next 10 years I will have to develop my position in the political world starting from the bottom.
5-I am elected as the mayor of the city of Buenos Aires, the next 4 years I administrate the city very well, the high superavit in the city allows me to give credits to the technological companies, the people agrees and sees me as someone honest who wants to develop the city of Buenos Aires.
5-I am reelected, I continue with my great administration and high aproval ratings, the Olimpic games are celebrated in Buenos Aires, that gives me quite a lot of promotion and I become a minor international celebrity.
6-I am chosen as the new president of Argentina, In the provinces of the country I claim that I have always been a peronist deep down, people love me, I talk crap about yanqui imperialism.
7-I am President of Argentina, great administration ,government plans to help developing software and hardware industries.
I start what I call "japanization of Argentina", improve ties with -Brazil, our principal partner.
8-I am reelected, I modify the constitution to allow new reelections.Everything fine! Argentinas gnp per capita reaches a first world category, I start what I call (the second wave of immigration, because Argentina is a country made of immigrants) millions of eastern europeans, many ex-soviet scientists come to Argentina.
9-Reelected agains, Argentina, Brazil, Paraguay, and Uruguay, the "Mercosur countries" choose creating a mercosur parlament like the eu.Everything great in Argentina, I am a damn good ruler!
10-I start writing books about the Hilgemberg (my surname
)doctrine, I propose a new deal between the government and the people, it somehow resembles fascism but dont tell anyone .
I am known as a great intelectual in the world, the situation in Europe has worsened this decades, and the working classes agree with my ideas, new political parties are created in the world
with my ideas and in some countries they are quite successfull.
11-I am chosen as president of the Mercosur parlament, Everything fine, I am regarded as the person who took Argentina out of the third world and took it to the first world.Brazil-Argentina integration continues.
12-The same, but it has been decided to create a super mercosur army that will include the army of the 4 countries.
13-A friend of mine through my influence is chosen as the president of the army.
14-I control the media in the mercosur, I manipulate the people and I make them choose bad politicians, and I move influences to ruin the economy secretly.
15-People get angry with the politicians, everybody wants me, they say that I am the only one who can solve their problems, all the people in Brazil, Argentina, Uruguay, Paraguay wants me to solve their problems.
16-With my friend, leader of the mercosur army I organize a military coup. I derrocate the governments of Brazil, Argentina, Uruguay and Paraguay.People love me.
And I become the only ruler of the mercosur!!
17-Prosperity returns and Peru, Bolivia, Venezuela and Colombia join mercosur.
18-I incitate war with England for the Falkland/Malvinas islands.
I kick their ass, now we are all overdeveloped countries and you are against a whole continent.
I take the islands.
We invade Chile because of their colaboration with the evil Britons.
19-We have a major naval war with Britain in the pacific, we are victorious.And we accuse the Oceanic League of colaboration with the Britons, we invade New Zealand,Australia and the pacific Islands, we destroy the oceanic league and throw its evil Leader Dark Shade to the dogs, he deserves a bad way of dying.
20-Aussies and Kiwis hated Dark Shade because he was very evil, they see me as a liberator, and, the Hilgembergian party with my doctrine was very strong there, so, I had a very big popularity there in wide sectors of the population.Peace is settled
with england.All the antartica is mercosur and southern states property.
21-I control most of the southern hemisphere!!!
I use my influence, governments fall to the hilgembergian movement in Africa and Central America (excpet Mexico because it is in the nafta treaty), my social model is considered as fair and good, communist countries like Cuba, China and North Korea perform changes in their governments inspires in my doctrine.
The american wont do anything because I have my missils prepared, they also have their nukes directed towards me.
22-Hilgembergian partie continue to grow in impoverished europe, they win in Germnay and I give a very emotive speech in german, My popularity in europe is going through the roofs!
23-Germany is attacked because it fell to the hilgembergian movement, and it was a big loss.The UN declared the war.
We give military assitence.The "MASC", Mercosur and southern countries, retire from the ONU because our positions is not being considered.A lot of countries do the same.
24-The other governments in europe fell to the movement, people simply love me , war is unsustainable, a feeling of happyness invades people, they see the triumph of the movement in the world as inevitable!
All western europe but switzerland and england fall to the movement.The MASC countries gave assistance to europe to help them recovering.
25-Mexico retreats from Nafta and joins us, now we have a cold war against the americans and sharing the same continent and even a common frontier.
26-America gets isolated, its economy crumbles, the working masses adopt my ideology! and my revolution triumphs.! without a single nuke being used!
27-We invade switzerland.England surrenders.
28-the movement wins the elections in Russia and China, (Now, we have the MASC,super power, that includes Latin America and Oceanic continent, and independent countries ruled by the movement, USA, Germany, Russia, etc , etc, but I am considered as the great father of the movement).
29-Once the movement becomes so powerful in so many different countries we dont have a big problem conquering the rest of the (non-movement) world.
30-I am chosen as the president of the international hilgembergian party, I am not the direct ruler of the world, but
lets say that I am very powerful!!!!!

Thw whole world is in control of the movement!!

I am impressed

 

[Perfection]

Originally posted by Cloudyvortex
You want to borrow mine? I need to hide and can't take it with me. It's here in Midland, TX. You'll know it when you see it. Just get it before the U.S. government does. It only works on the feeble minded beings that are 90% of the population. But the 10% that aren't effected could be a major headache.

I'm flattered but I already own a TV set.

 

[Ozz]

Buy the right 2 lab mice from Acme Labs.

 

[Perfection]

Originally posted by Ozz
Buy the right 2 lab mice from Acme Labs.

No that won't work, but if you throw in Dogbert too the world is yours

 

[Obssesed Nuker]

Originally posted by Simon Darkshade


No, I cannot nap with you, snooze with you, or sleep with you whatsoever! Not even a little - I want to keep my head a frying pan free zone for at least a few days.

I meant Non-Agression pact SHEESH :/

 

[Simon Darkshade]

Originally posted by Obssesed Nuker
I meant Non-Agression pact SHEESH :/

Oh. OK. If you insist. Here is my autograph: X

 

[Perfection]

Create nanobots that turn human brain cells into mindless drones for your new collective than you can control the whole world from your desktop computer.

 

[Zarn]

Darkshade sir, I disabled all the nukes owned by Obssesed Nuker. He is completely powerless.

 

[Perfection]

Originally posted by Zarn
Darkshade sir, I disabled all the nukes owned by Obssesed Nuker. He is completely powerless.

I got a message from darkshade heres what he wants you to do with them.

Told to Perfection by Simon Darkshade
Tell zarn to enable all nukes and give them to your new superior perfection

NOW GIMMIE THOSE NUKES NOW!

 

[Zarn]

I don't believe you. God is still my superior.

 

[Pliny The Elder]

Play as the Egyptians.

 

[Cloudyvortex]

God is still my superior.

Yeah, but when was the last time he gave an order.

BTW, I have convinced the FBI that I'm outside the country and the CIA that I'm inside the country. These failures should frighten most (if a 19 year-old mad peasant-scientist who can't get through the first stage of Metal Gear Solid can outmanuovre our elites, anyone can) Americans. But, at any rate, I have returned.

Ah, your groanings and swearings are music to my ears.