The Germans taped a small piece of dynamite on the thick wooden door set in the stone walls. They backed well away from it, waited for the blast and then ran in through the smoke. There was a burst of fire inside and then some squealing from women.
"Hold ze fire!" ordered the captain. "Ve must keep ze women for ze evening entertainment."
But it was too late. A glamorous lady lay dead on the floor in a pool of blood. Several more well-clad and curved gals were backed up and frozen in shock at the shooting. Alfeo, however, was standing proud in a full suit of Roman centurion armor and decorations. He had on obviously custom made metal armor that fit the shape of his big fat belly perfectly, and along with it was the fine centurion helmet complete with cheek plates and a big red plume decorating the top. Apparently he had spent the last while preparing for the end.
When the Germans saw Alfeo, they snorted and burst into laughter. The captain had some fun with it. "Trying to make a fashion statement or just entertaining your fantasies of being a real Roman?"
Alfeo said, "I'm prepared to die like a real Roman does. In full battle dress on the battlefield."
"What an idiot." The captain looked around the room and sneered at the all the junk food wrappers and other rubbish. In amongst the clutter on the table was a metal plate with a dusting of white powder on it. "Hmmm I can see where your bravery comes from." The captain kicked Alfeo with a jackboot into the soft belly just under where the armor ended. Alfeo fell to his knees making a sound more like a harp seal in labor than a proud centurion.
The captain looked at the fallen Roman with vulture eyes. "Oh, and you can look forward to a lot more of that in the next little while." The other German soldiers snickered together. "Before we begin that, allow me to introduce myself. I'm called Cleric the Black Snake Pliskin."
Alfeo looked up and managed a weak laugh, "Heh, that sounds like some 3rd grader with an inferiority complex trying to be tough." Cleric responded with a series of kicks, mostly hitting armor and scuffing his jackboots while Alfeo fell over onto his back. Viviana, one of Alfeo's mistresses, tried to hold back Cleric and the angry captain wound up and smacked her hard across the face spinning her around, knocking her over the back of the sofa and onto the floor.
Cleric was breathing hard after his exertions and said, "Alright then. If that's the way you want it, I'm taking you..." Cleric pointed at Viviana as she struggled off the floor. "...into the back room for some lessons in love while my boys here are gonna teach this weak fool that he's not a real centurion."
Alfeo stood up and said, "I heard the German army was professional and well ordered. I never heard nothing about raping going on. That's the way the Russians treat women." Alfeo braced himself to be kicked or beaten.
Cleric replied, "You're right. But this here brigade that took over your fort is a special one. We're the Love Brigade." Some of the German soldiers standing behind punched their fists into the air and shouted, "Ya baby!!"
"We're gonna have to raise a little hell." Cleric grinned evily and eyed the women. "Hmmm I feel something else rising..."
Cleric grabbed Viviana by the hair and started dragging her into the back room and then he stopped and looked at her red cheek which was starting to swell from the smack he had given her. "Wait. This one is bruised. I like my women healthy. Learn to take care of yourself wench!" He pushed Viviana away and pointed at another. "You! What's your name?"
"So...Sophie." her voice was quivering.
Cleric grabbed her hair and yanked her into the back room and ordered a couple of his men to accompany him as guards. While this was going on, the rest of the Germans surrounded Alfeo in preparation to beat him. The door to the back room was closed by a guard and then came the sounds of Sophie screaming, clothes ripping and some commotion. "Stop struggling! I warn you, I only get more excited when women resist me!" yelled Cleric from behind the closed door.
Alfeo didn't like what he was hearing and the cocaine he had snorted was having it's effect in full. He was super alert, moreso than he had ever been unstimulated, and so filled with energy and that he could have flown had the inclination occurred. He drew his gladius short sword, a weapon famed for its ability to slice off entire parts of a man's body with ease, and slashed at the soldier standing infront of him. The Germans were taken by surprise and seeing their comrade's head flop backwards completely severed except for the spinal cord holding it onto his torso spawned sheer terror in them. A fountain of blood jetted out from the arteries in the sliced neck.
They attacked Alfeo and the drugged Roman went into a frenzy slashing and twirling about. He felt the blade repeatedly gouging the bodies of his attackers and there was a monsoon of blood upon the floor. One of the Germans took time out to vomit his lunch onto the blood washed floor after he saw a severed arm complete with shoulder being kicked about in the struggle. Another slipped on a pile of entrails and landed violently face first onto the corner of the table with such force that his skull cracked and one eye popped out. A pack of reinforcing soldiers came rushing through the door from outside, and Alfeo instinctively pulled the pin from a grenade on one of the attackers. The man with the live grenade panicked and tried to run out before the grenade went off and took out most of those trying to enter the room. Liking the result, Alfeo pulled a few more grenade pins on his attackers inbetween slashes.
Explosions, blood and mayhem finally halted the German assault on Alfeo. The Germans pulled back to regroup and try and get their heads thinking straight. Taking advantage of the lull, Alfeo barged into the back room where Cleric was holding onto Sophie's hair while engaging in his style of brutal lovemaking. Alfeo chopped up the two guards who were hesitating whether to shoot or await orders. Cleric stopped in midstroke and stood there in shock. "I... I don't understand. My men should have beaten you to a pulp."
Alfeo was gasping hard for air in a desperate struggle to catch up on a massive oxygen deficit. His drugged body had pushed itself way further than it was naturally fit for him to endure. He closed the door to the room and then stood there with his gladius dripping in blood and managed to gasp out between breaths, "After what I am about to do to you, there will be a new definition in the dictionary for the word 'chopstick'."
Cleric looked down first at his exposed parts and then at his luger pistol still in its holster on his pants. Unfortunately his pants were down around his ankles. He started to beg in a whiny voice, "No... no, no please! I didn't mean this to happen. We were ordered to do this to break the morale of your people. I had nothing to do with it."
Alfeo wasn't convinced. "Get on your knees evil pervert."
Cleric burst into tears and stood there wailing like a baby who had pooped his diapers. Sophie detached herself from him and tried to pull together her ripped clothes. Her face was wet with tears and a couple of bruises were left from the prerape struggle. Just then, the door slammed open and a pack of German soldiers ran in. Alfeo rammed his sword into them and then sliced back and forth. Cleric behind him lunged for a submachinegun dropped by a sticken guard earlier and snatched up the weapon. While lying on the floor, he fired full auto into the melee hitting everyone. Bullets chewed men up and snapped loudly as they punctured the armor Alfeo was wearing. In his hysteria, Cleric emptied the magazine and then dropped the weapon in shock and despair. Everyone in the melee was now lying on the floor either dead or dying.
Still unnaturally stimulated by the cocaine, Alfeo pulled himself to his feet while his armor bled like a sieve. He raised two MP 44 submachineguns dropped by his attackers and shouted "Heeeeyyyyyyyyahhh!"
BRATATATATATATATAT!!! Machinegun fire from outside the room riddled the crazed Roman who somehow managed to wield both his guns and return a double burst into his enemies before falling down again. In the last few moments, he grabbed several grenades from the bodies he was lying on and tossed them at the attackers in quick succession. One of them was thrown back and landed on top of Alfeo just as it went off. The ferocious Roman was splattered and out of the fight.
In the aftermath, Cleric staggered out of the room clutching his face. "You idiots. I got sprayed with grenade fragments."
A medic ran over to him, ignoring moans from the wounded soldiers lying about on the floor. "Can you see captain?"
"Yes I can see, but I don't want these slivers I got in me to leave any scars. Women don't like scars."
And so ended the battle of Brundisium. The Italian fort defending the town had been completely invested by the Germans and the town itself was taken over without any more resistance. This piece of land had forever been a thorn in the side of the Germans since the Italians had started a town there in the wastelands of the destroyed arabs. Now it was 'reunited with the motherland'.
The German High Command looked to Tarentum in the south for the main battle to begin. With the destruction of the bulk of the Italian army there, the rest of the campaign would be little more than a mop-up operation. Cleric recovered from his light wounds and was awarded oak leaves to go with his iron cross for his bravery in the assault. His troops had gained much valuable experience in the battle, and after a period of rest and reinforcement, they were sent south to join in the big battle. The 'Love Brigade' was considered to be a crack unit to be used in the most difficult of attacks where normal infantry units would have no chance.