Does the amount of effort validate the end result?

[Moss]

For the last day or so I've been struggling with this. Lets say you worked extremely hard or have been through some extremely tough situations as means to reach an end. (whatever end you envision). Now lets say you have reached the end you desired, but now realize that it is utterly pointless.

After realizing that the end you have sought is utterly useless is it reasonable to neglect that end and the means you used to reach that end and start fresh? Or should what you went through and what you had to do to reach the end give you more prusuation to keep the end even though it doesn't matter if you do or don't?

This question actually deals with the fact that some members of my family and some people that I know find it completely strange and maybe somewhat unbelievable that after all the work I've gone through to get the ears I now have, that I would suddenly discard them. For some reason I can't really explain myself to them, so I was kinda wonder if maybe I had gone insane?

They say...you worked so hard why not stick with it if it doesn't really matter.
I say it's not who I am, but I have really no response to the why then would I just discard years of work and surgeries.

 

[Perfection]

Hey, your post was short enough for my attention-span!

Now, as a repsonse:

No Moss, the amount effort was not pointless, because it taught you the fallacy of your quest. Striving to be someone you aren't is often part of human nature. We've all been there, it's a vital life-experience to learn. How can you simply discard your lack of ears when it's been a part of your identity all your life? Now, some people would expect you to embrace this change seeing it as an improvement. However, to you it appears that it's much more then that, your lack of ears has lead you down a path that deeply interests you and has taught you to embrace who you truely are. It seems absurd that a percieved abnormality can be one of your greatest assets however it's true and to cover them up with those hunks of plastic covers up a part of you. So while the effort put into those artifical ears may have appeared in vain in that they weren't used for their intend purpose it was not in vian because it taught you a valuable lesson about yourself. Self-Knowledge validates the effort.

 

[Moss]

Hey, your post was short enough for my attention-span!

Now, as a repsonse:

No Moss, the amount effort was not pointless, because it taught you the fallacy of your quest. Striving to be someone you aren't is often part of human nature. We've all been there, it's a vital life-experience to learn. How can you simply discard your lack of ears when it's been a part of your identity all your life? Now, some people would expect you to embrace this change seeing it as an improvement. However, to you it appears that it's much more then that, your lack of ears has lead you down a path that deeply interests you and has taught you to embrace who you truely are. It seems absurd that a percieved abnormality can be one of your greatest assets however it's true and to cover them up with those hunks of plastic covers up a part of you. So while the effort put into those artifical ears may have appeared in vain in that they weren't used for their intend purpose it was not in vian because it taught you a valuable lesson about yourself. Self-Knowledge validates the effort.

Yes, very true. That's pretty much my thinking.

I guess I just have to say that I feel more like myself without my ears than with my ears...and unfortunatley it took me until the end to figure it out. Yet I can sense the dissapointment of my family members. I'm not the only one that went through trying times in getting to where I am/was. And they don't share the same insight as I do, and now they went through all of the worrying and taking care of me for pretty much nothing. Sure they helped me to find myself by helping me through the surgeries, but in the end they still end up feeling like they were doing it for no reason at all.

And my mother said that someone (after reading my article in the paper) said, "but his ears look so good, I just don't understand why he wouldn't want to where them, especially after all of the trouble." Maybe I just need to make it more clear that after all of the trouble I did gain something...even if it may be something they might not be able to fully understand.

 

[Fetus4188]

I've done that sort of thing on a math problem many times. I find information that have no clue how to get so I start using the formulas I know in an enormously inefficient way and eventually discover some formula I shouldn't be learning for another year and finding out that I didn't need the information in the first place.

 

[BorgeoisBuffoon]

Uh, what Perfection said.

And I had a hard life striving for it. Pointless or not, I likely accomplished or went through many tough things, and that's never something to be ashamed of.

 

[Fifty]

I agree with Perfection.

Whoever said "It's not the destination, it's the journey" was dead-on. You achieved a higher level of self-understanding and hapiness as a result of all the work you went through, and that is all that matters. Think about it, you went through all the work to attain what you thought would be a greater sense of hapiness and fufillment. In realizing that you do not actually need the ears to have hapiness and fufillment, you have actually achieved a greater level of hapiness, fufillment, and understanding than you ever would have if you simply never went through all the trouble in the first place.

As a bonus, the satisfaction of having a goal, sticking to it, and attaining it is a pretty good feeling as well. My number one gripe with myself is my inability to have the conviction to stick to my goals. I'm starting to do better, but it will take a while and I have already ruined my greatest aspirations as a result of my idiocy.

 

[Milan's Warrior]

For the last day or so I've been struggling with this. Lets say you worked extremely hard or have been through some extremely tough situations as means to reach an end. (whatever end you envision). Now lets say you have reached the end you desired, but now realize that it is utterly pointless.

After realizing that the end you have sought is utterly useless is it reasonable to neglect that end and the means you used to reach that end and start fresh? Or should what you went through and what you had to do to reach the end give you more prusuation to keep the end even though it doesn't matter if you do or don't?

It is very easy for me to answer this part of the question. A huge chunk of economics deals with people optimal choices (not just economic choices, whater choices). There is a principle (trivially easy to demostrate) that if you care only about the best future happiness the effort you have done to reach a given point is meaningless. All what matters is the best choice from that moment on.
This principle is really trivial from a logical point of view, but there are hundreds (possibly thousands) of experiments that show that in real life people have a very hard time to apply this principle (the phenomenon is called sunk cost fallacy). Real life people most often than not take into consideration the effort they have done to reach a given point.
So, I think you are totally right if you lean on making the best choice today without taking into account what you did to arrive at this point, but I am not surprised your family has a hard time understanding you.

About the specific of your choice, I don't know. Only you know what is the best course to take.

 

[Moss]

I agree with Perfection.
As a bonus, the satisfaction of having a goal, sticking to it, and attaining it is a pretty good feeling as well. My number one gripe with myself is my inability to have the conviction to stick to my goals. I'm starting to do better, but it will take a while and I have already ruined my greatest aspirations as a result of my idiocy.

I would have that satisfaction, and I do somewhat, but I guess you wouldn't really say that this was something was really a hard choice to make. Mainly because at first I was too young and my parents decided for me, and then in the later years my parents had VERY STRONG prusuation as to what I should do. And I guess it was an easy choice because if I hadn't done it I would never know... It's better to do it and find out, then to wonder what could have been.

Also, I guess while I've realized something, I wouldn't say I'm necessarily as a whole happier than I was before. It's pretty much the same. Which is why I don't wear my ears because if I feel the same either way there is no point in wearing them. I suppose you could still call that a victory as I've figured out that to feel normal it doesn't matter in my mind whether I wear ears or not.

 

[Fifty]

If I had a character half as strong as you to shed such superficialities and realize how pointless they are, I'd have one heckuva reason to be happy



Me I'm one of those poor sods who is constantly harping at my own deficiencies. Like right now I'm thinking about how I don't apply myself enough, and how I am doomed to societal mediocrity as a result of my lack of application to my long-term goals.

I guess my signature reflects my attitude a lot. I constantly think about being "from frailties free"

 

[Moss]

If I had a character half as strong as you to shed such superficialities and realize how pointless they are, I'd have one heckuva reason to be happy

Thanks

Well there are some things I shed...but sometimes that costs me too. I'm not one to worry about many things or dwell on things, but sometimes that gets me in trouble. I tend to become lazy and mabye not maybe not apply myself in my college studies as much as I should.

I find myself often saying "You know, I'm not going to worry about this or that, I've seen worse and been through worse. It's really no big deal." Yet that isn't always the greatest attitude to have.

Edit: And my mother believes that I just don't have a good memory and that I'm way too forgiving and forget to much. For example in my graduation speech I thanked my classmates for all they had done for me, yet my mother reminded me of how much they had teased me. (I didn't listen to her) and the same thing with the amount of pain I went through with my ears. Trust me...I have an excellent memory...I just tend not to dwell on things. It's in the past, I remember and learn from it, but people change and situations change.

 

[Yom]

For the last day or so I've been struggling with this. Lets say you worked extremely hard or have been through some extremely tough situations as means to reach an end. (whatever end you envision). Now lets say you have reached the end you desired, but now realize that it is utterly pointless.

After realizing that the end you have sought is utterly useless is it reasonable to neglect that end and the means you used to reach that end and start fresh? Or should what you went through and what you had to do to reach the end give you more prusuation to keep the end even though it doesn't matter if you do or don't?

I imediately thought of Frankenstein (the doctor, not the monster) when you said this.

 

[Moss]

I imediately thought of Frankenstein (the doctor, not the monster) when you said this.

Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Sorry, my knowledge of Frankenstein is probably less then it should be.

 

[Aphex_Twin]

Pardon my ignorance, but can those ears enhance your hearing? IIRC, the ears augument the intensity of sounds by some 40%. Did you have difficulties because of this?

But to continue in my ignorance. Besides having known yourself better, the fact that you CAN use theese appendices (even though you chose not to) should also be important, right?

 

[Moss]

Pardon my ignorance, but can those ears enhance your hearing? IIRC, the ears augument the intensity of sounds by some 40%. Did you have difficulties because of this?

But to continue in my ignorance. Besides having known yourself better, the fact that you CAN use theese appendices (even though you chose not to) should also be important, right?

No, I have to wear a Bone Anchored Hearing Aid to hear. I have no hole in the side of my head. (At least my brains can't leak out ). So the ears or lack of ears don't affect how I hear.

On your second question...yes the fact that I can use the ears is helpfull. However, do to the fact that I have screws on the side of my head...I may get those removed. Also...this isn't really a choice where I'm going to go back and forth. I'm either going to wear my ears all of the time or not at all. (I feel a sense of closure picking one or the other and not always going to and fro).

 

[sourboy]

Even if efforts produce results (whether intended or not) that aren't what you hoped or expected them to be, choosing to discard the result is a valid option. It only redeems the effort used to achieve the discarded result if you understand why. In other words, if you learned a lesson, it's okay to abandon your result - as it becomes the new result. Now if you decide to return to the result at a later date...