With apologies to: Barack Obama, John McCain, Joe Biden, Sarah Palin, Stephen Harper, Stehpanie Dion, Celine Dion, Canada, the State of Florida, the State of Denial, the Democratic Party, the Republican Party, the Boston Tea Party, Wikipedia, the citizens of Chicago, Phoenix, Wasilla, Ottawa, Moscow, the planet Mars, the Internet, Every-country-who's-name-ends-in-Stan, this thread, anyone who voted on the 4th, Mexico, Theocracy, Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Pastafarianism, and the original creator of the Jesusland Map: